Second child fears?

[campn]

Thought I'd post this on here, if this is your second or third or fourth, how did it feel to love another child other than your first born?

I love my DS so much and couldn't imagine my life without him and it's hard imagining I could love anyone else just the same, and I already feel bad and guilty about this baby having to always "tag along" cause I will never have the same alone time with her as I did with him. Poor kid will always have another sibling in most of her pictures!

How was it for you? Was it harder to love your second, or did it come as easy as loving your first?

 

[ButterCup17]

Thanks for posting, following to see what others say. Having the same guilty thoughts for baby number two
But also feeling sad about ds #1 that it will never just be the two of us again, I'm a sahm so the two of us are together all day every day. This will surely be an adjustment, for all of us!

 

[campn]

Thanks for posting, following to see what others say. Having the same guilty thoughts for baby number two
But also feeling sad about ds #1 that it will never just be the two of us again, I'm a sahm so the two of us are together all day every day. This will surely be an adjustment, for all of us!

Definitely! The guilt is already starting both ways. I feel like on one hand I'm giving him a sibling and a friend forever, but on the other hand his whole schedule will be so different. We usually cuddle in bed for an hour or so upon waking up, and now I'll have to tell him sorry baby someone else is joining in!

 

[Christina86]

I feel overwhelmed and guilty right now. My dd just turned 1 so I feel like I haven't had enough alone time with her. On the other hand, she will have a sibling close in age. Then I'm trying to figure out how I'm not going to go crazy having two 18mo apart and making it all flow somewhat smoothly.

 

[minties]

Very very very easy to love another child as much as your first. Don't worry - we all stress about this! I can't take your fears away, but can reassure you that your love will grow and you'll be falling in love all over again with a new amazing little person.

 

[maryanne1987]

I worried about the same thing. I had ds alone for 10 years and when we finally found out we would have a take home baby I was filled with panic of how I could possibly love another child as much as I love him. Let me tell you it's not worth worrying about, the minute my daughter was placed on my chest I fell in love with her. I love them both for their unique personalities, my son as he's so quiet and gentle and my daughter as she's so loud and cheeky. I just adore seeing them together. I look back now and I feel silly for worrying quite as much as I did. I can't wait to welcome our third now

 

[laughingduck]

I worry about this too and talked to a friend about it who has two. She said it was different with the second. She loved her baby right away but was more focused on how her firstborn was adjusting and that all consuming love feeling she had right away with her first did not come as quickly with her second. She said it wasn't until her second was 3-4 months old and his personality started shining through that the all consuming love started. Her first had some trouble adjusting so that may be why it was hard for her. Now the two of her kids are so close it is adorable and of course everything worked out just fine. So although it may be an adjustment, and a different experience than your firstborn, you will love both of your children equally. Also, every mother is different and has different experiences. Ive read about many other women getting that all consuming love right away even with the second. Ive also seen women experience that they are so in love with their second that the first gets sort of put on the back burner for a while for lack of a better expression. But in the end all the experiences Ive read have ended up with mom loving both children equally.

 

[trudie100]

I timed my 2nd (currently 6 months pregnant) so that my first LO will be in school full time by the time baby number 2 arrives. I done this for the exact reason some of you mentioned (I wanted to give baby no 2 the same 1on1 time that I had with my son etc), but i STILL feel guilty and apprehensive already

Some days I feel like i havent had enough time just me and my first even though he's 4 now and will be starting reception all day in September so rationally i would only get weekends with him from then anyway but i still feel guilty that he's going to have share our time and attention and also panic thinking about how much I love him and how obsessed you are with your first

I have no doubt ill love this baby the same but I do worry about how my son will take it when she finally arrives. We put her cot up in our room a few weeks back & he's turned into a nightmare at bedtime ever since as he's realized she'll be in the room with us and he was like hmmm thats not fair

I keep telling myself theres going to be a period of adjustment when the baby comes but that we'll all get used to it and im sure that after a few weeks it will be like she's always been there x

 

[October9]

Another mummy expecting number 2. I had a good breaks down the other night, full on tear, "I can't do this", "what if I don't love him", "I love my son so much".

Then my husband reminded me that I was like this with my first I.e terrified, worried I wouldn't bond etc.

Daft thing is my son loves babies, when I ask him what he will do when hid brother will cry he says he will cuddle him.

I am trying to remind myself its normal and you really dont know until they get here.

Hugs to us all x

 

[j1405]

Feel the same way. 20 weeks with no2, also a boy. So my worry is how do I love my second son as much as my first son! I mean my first is my heart and soul and will always be my "baby" only he will no longer be.

Well, all of my friends and family say that I should not worry and that it comes naturally because they are two unique little persons, so I'm holding on to that!

I am so excited for the birth of my new son but i'm sure every mom has felt this way at some stage during a pregnancy with another child!

 

[campn]

This is really so helpful to see so many of you have been through it or just about to like myself.

I'm sure it'll all be okay and all these fears will go away (and be replaced by newer fears I'm sure hehe)

 

[bcos21]

I worry about how my son will adjust too .it's driving me crazy

 

[Taurus8484]

I worried how I could possibly love another as I loved my first when pregnant the second time...but you dont share your love between them. You just love twice as much...

 

[October9]

Are any of us worry mummies only children? I think that's where a lot of my worry comes from.

 

[ButterCup17]

Are any of us worry mummies only children? I think that's where a lot of my worry comes from.

I am! That makes sense!

 

[smileyfaces]

I am on baby number 3. You will love your baby just as much as your first, don't worry.

 

[campn]

Honestly I'm not too worried about DS as he'll be 4 and in school by the time the baby is here. I feel like I've given him my full attention those 4 years so hopefully he'll adjust well, but I've no idea if he'll show signs of jealousy later on. I expect he will even a little.

I feel more guilty about this baby as she's not getting the same excitement like her brother got about pregnancy and just everything else. Do you even have a shower or a registery for your second baby?

 

[bcos21]

I have a ton of siblings lol I enjoyed having them. That's why I worry where this comes from. I think I just worry that a new baby will alter the close relationship my son and I have

 

[ButterCup17]

Honestly I'm not too worried about DS as he'll be 4 and in school by the time the baby is here. I feel like I've given him my full attention those 4 years so hopefully he'll adjust well, but I've no idea if he'll show signs of jealousy later on. I expect he will even a little.

I feel more guilty about this baby as she's not getting the same excitement like her brother got about pregnancy and just everything else. Do you even have a shower or a registery for your second baby?

I thought that way too. I did so much stuff with ds and everyone always said "yeah you do that now, wait til the next one comes, you won't do it again" so I'm doing everything I can to treat them equal already lol I had a gender reveal party again this time, did maternity photos again, and my mom and best friend are throwing me another shower!

 

[Cazran25]

I feel guilty so often that DD will have to share me soon, I'm a SAHM and we are very close and I'm worried sick about how it's going to affect her.

But she loves babies and caring for others so hoping that will take the focus off the sharing a bit.

I get very emotional thinking about them meeting for the first time 😍