Second child fears?

[Blessedbaby]

I worry about how my DD who will be 2yrs7m when this baby comes is going to feel. The age gap between her and my eldest is 14yrs so I had nothing to worry about him feeling less loved etc.

Im even going on leave at 36weeks unlike with her I worked until 38weeks just so I can spend some time with her before this LO comes.

 

[j1405]

I'm having this problem with feeling that the 2nd baby is as not exciting as the first for other people, even dh. He is not as involved in this pregnancy as he was in the first one and I guess doing things a second time round is less exciting than the first time but we are having a discussion about this because it is upsetting to me as I feel my 2nd should have just as much attention as our first did!

I obviously don't think its intentional but I want him to know how I feel about this and that I expect him especially to show more involvement.

I am having another baby shower and buying all new things for my second son! He will feel just as special as my first because for me he is just as special and deserves all the attention too!

 

[Enasy]

I'm a stay at home mum too and my son will be 2 years 1 month when #2 arrives, I am also worried about him feeling left out and don't want it to effect our close relationship. I have been incredibly protective over my first born and hope I have the same bond with my second

 

[emicakess]

I think I am worried most about coping with taking care of both, and my DD not understanding why mama is so tired, etc. She will be 2 yr 2 months, and she already loves babies so I think she will definitely be in love with the baby. But maybe not understand if I am just too grumpy or tired from being sleep deprived. I am also nervous about caring for a toddler while having to nurse 45 mins every 2 hours.

With DD i didnt bond to her right away, i felt as if i was in shock and I couldnt grasp my emotions for a few months. She also had tongue tie and breastfeeding her was HARD as well as taking care of what the doctors kept telling me was a colicky baby (later to find out she constantly fussed and screamed from her tongue tie ).. She almost never slept peacefully, and was always fussing, breastfeeding hurt and she fed for 5 mins at a time all throughout the day and night .. So that is basically all I have for experience with a newborn, and I keep telling myself that hopefully this baby will be a little easier in those aspects.

Oh and as for DD having to share mommy, well for the past 6 months I have my nephews living here (ages 4, 8 and 9), plus I have babysat my friends kid (same age as DD) since he was 6 months old. She has had to share me for most of her life, so I am hoping that helps with that transition.

And yes I feel you that DD was my first and this baby is my second, so will he/she get as much attention as my first? I do worry about that. I was able to focus so much on DD because she was my only and had all of my attention

 

[emicakess]

Sorry, didn't mean to write a book haha

 

[campn]

Emi- I could swear we had the same newborn! My DS had the worst tongue tie that we got snipped but it was too late. He wouldn't latch for 6 weeks so I had to pump day and night the entire 6 weeks.

My dad was admitted to the hospital for organ failure and basically my entire newborn days were consisting of, pumping in the hospital bathroom everyday, catching pneumonia and dealing with a very suicidial MIL who tried to kill herself in my son's nursery. It was a horrible time and probably the worst time in my entire life thus far.

I think if this time goes better, I'll have no trouble bonding or feeling that love. Just crossing everything that I have the most boring and eventful newborn phase this time around!