Selfish to cut back on Christmas because we are expecting?

[ltrip84]

I know it's a little early to be thinking about this, but I have been wondering if people will get offended if I don't want to do many Christmas gifts this year. I usually buy for 15+ people, but my OH and I would like to cut it down to just each other and our parents this year so we can save for baby. I also would like to save as much money as possible because I only get 6 weeks off once baby is born and I would love to take as much additional time as we can afford off with FMLA.

Do you think this is selfish or offensive to others?

 

[Beadle]

I don't think it's selfish at all, and I'm sure they'll understand that right now you need the money for more important things, and if they don't then I wouldn't even worry about it. An old school friend of mine had her baby right after Christmas and she only bought Christmas presents for the immediate family too, she just explained to others that at the moment she couldn't afford to buy the extra presents and that this year she wouldn't be buying for anyone other than her parents and her little brother, and because of that didn't want/expect any presents from them.

 

[HHenderson]

Our baby will be 4 months and we have a 9 y/o, this year Im not buying anything for anyone because diapers and wipes arent cheap. I figure this will be my 9 y/o's last xmas to herself with gifts (baby is too young for gifts) so I want to get her some nice stuff better than usual. If people dont understand that theres nothing I can do about it.

 

[ltrip84]

I think many will agree to not buy for each other, but others I will feel guilty about, like my grandparents who have done so much for me. But if I buy for them, then that still ends up being 8 people! It adds up fast!

 

[Hdginsc]

Not rude at all. I'm due December 15 and I already told everyone the baby is the Christmas gift!

 

[Larkspur]

Maybe just bake a bunch of Christmas cookies and give everyone else a little cellophane pack of them? Inexpensive but still thoughtful.

idon't think babies ever get cheaper so if you really can't afford it this year, it probably wont be any easier to afford it again in subsequent years. So think about whether you and your family would be happy with this as a permanent situation.

 

[luz]

I don't think it's selfish at all. If you want to give gifts, you could always do something really inexpensive. Last year i went to ross and bought a bunch of cheap spatulas and then made cookie dough, formed it into balls and froze it. Then i gave people a little container of cookie dough and a spatula. Turned out really cute and didn't cost me much.

Other things i've seen are like a bag of popcorn with a cute saying, or a loaf of homemade bread or other treats.

I think if you want to give people gifts there are a lot of options for cheap and thoughtful things!

 

[Beadle]

I like the cookie idea too, you could always throw together a little care package, make up a batch of cookies, maybe some fudge or other holiday-ish type foods and give that to them. It's way cheaper, delicious and you're still getting them something. That's actually what my neighbor does every year and I love it, every time Christmas rolls around I get super excited about her fudge lol

As for not getting cheaper Larkspur, no they don't but the pre baby purchasing adds up. You don't need to buy a bassinet or a crib every year, or a highchair or stroller every year and such like that. All the money right now is going to be going toward those things, and then next year around the holidays there will be less money still due to baby's necessities, but it won't be as dented by the big purchases like that. Hopefully.

 

[ltrip84]

Maybe just bake a bunch of Christmas cookies and give everyone else a little cellophane pack of them? Inexpensive but still thoughtful.

idon't think babies ever get cheaper so if you really can't afford it this year, it probably wont be any easier to afford it again in subsequent years. So think about whether you and your family would be happy with this as a permanent situation.

Its not that we can't afford ld baby, we just choose to save more money for our NEW baby this year. As I said before, this will be our first child and I will only be getting 6 weeks off work and we would love to save that money this year so I can stay home with the baby a little longer!

 

[Larkspur]

I didn't mean you couldn't afford a baby at all, I just meant that the first year, even with saving for maternity leave, is not necessarily the most/only expensive year, so you may find yourself in the same position of wanting to save for things you want for your child (not just Christmas presents) instead of spending money on Christmas presents for family members every year.

So I just thought I'd suggest a cheap idea as an alternative to just cutting certain people off, as you may find you're more financially constrained for a longer period of time than you think, if you see what I mean?

 

[Amygdala]

I really like the idea of giving cheap, homemade gifts. I hate how commercial christmas is these days anyway. I think a bag of home-baked cookies, a family picture or a set of LO's handprints is far more thoughtful and precious than most things you could buy. It'll make people feel appreciated and won't break the bank.

 

[MonyMony]

I really like the idea of giving cheap, homemade gifts. I hate how commercial christmas is these days anyway. I think a bag of home-baked cookies, a family picture or a set of LO's handprints is far more thoughtful and precious than most things you could buy. It'll make people feel appreciated and won't break the bank.

Second this! in fact, wish I could start a return to basics movement in my family for Christmas. Gifts are way out of control...

 

[ltrip84]

I agree, for the past 5 years or so, I have been trying to get them to cut back anyways, but it's impossible to get everyone to agree to it. We have been doing pretty well with setting a $ limit, but when you have so many people to buy for, it's still too much. It should be about spending time together as a family, not just buying things for people just to buy them when they can't tell you anything they want and they don't need anything.

 

[vtjess423]

It's definitely not inconsiderate at all like the others have said and I'm sure your family will understand. I used to buy for a lot of people as well but as the family grows we have started cutting back on who we buy for. With my brother, sister & their spouses, we have quit buying each other gifts. We have started only buying for the kids and everyone understands, even my sister who doesn't have any kids yet. And like others have said, if you feel bad about not getting them something, homemade gifts are always great. I think they even mean more! Some nice homemade cookies or such is aways a plus. Everyone (or mostly everyone) likes getting sweets now and then! Good Luck!

 

[Mrs.Mcguin]

This year we are not doing gifts at all and I made that very clear to our kids. Our kids get presents all year round when we feel they have earned them, we don't need one specific day to be obligated to by gifts. Birthdays is actually when we feel its more appropriate where we tend to go all out or that one specific person.
Christmas is nothing but about gifts now a days and the true meaning has been thrown out the window. the average person will make themselves go broke and then struggle to pay bills just buy people gifts.

We are not religious so we look at that day as more of a day to give thanks and appreciation to our friends and family. We have decided that we are going to take away the gift part of it and put that money towards planning a special day with our family.

Baking is a great idea to give as a gift...Especially when you know what their favorite treat is and then putting it in a fancy container...it make it look so nice too.

 

[Louise88]

It's not selfish at all it would be more selfish for those people to expect presents and get offended. Just tell them early so they have the choice to buy for you's or not

 

[babyhopes2010]

when my dd was born nov. NOONE got christmas presents.

 

[TicToc]

We normally only do minimal gifts anyway because we are always poor. But we do have a big party each year and the food/drinks for that does ad up even though everyone brings something to share. We have been debating whether or not we should even have it. If we do it will be VERY bare bones...probably just snacks and no actual meal. I think everyone will be fine with it, but it will be a change.

 

[Amy89]

I'm not doing gifts this year either. Our siblings will be getting little bottles of home-flavoured vodka as they're all 20-30 years old. The kids will be getting cookies or cakes, and our parents/grandparents will be getting some other form of edible treat

 

[Amy89]

We've also told everyone that we don't expect anything, but if they'd like to get us something then to get something for baby/or give us a bit of money to go towards moving house.