Selling on clothes that have been given to you....

[tinkerbelle93]

I think it depends really!

I've sold a few items of Oliver's clothes before, including ones that were bought new as gifts for him (once he'd outgrown them of course) and not given it a second thought.

However, I think with used clothes you give away it can be a bit different. Whenever I give Oliver's old clothes or items to friends they always give it back when their LO has outgrown it/no longer uses it. Sometimes it's in not as good condition but that doesn't matter. I then usually give it someone else, it's nice to pass stuff back and forth like that.

I did, however, give my SIL a TON of clothes when she found out she was having a boy a few months after I had Oliver. I gave her a massive bin liner filled with newborn/0-3/3-6 stuff, enough that she had enough not to buy anything for the first few months at all! I never got anything back though, and she's never mentioned what she's done with it. I know i gave it away, but if she has sold it then I would very annoyed. I paid for a lot of the clothes in the bundle so saved her a lot of money by providing them already, I think it's a bit rude of someone to go and make further money off somebody who has already saved them a lot, when they could have sold it themselves but chose not to!

I also always try and return items I've been given

 

[londonangel]

It wouldn't bother me at all. I would assume once something is given to someone, it belongs to them to do what they like with, unless the giver specified that they are really only 'lending' the item to them and want it back. I made sure I kept things I'd been given by a friend together so that I could give them back if she wanted them (she didn't) but I wouldn't expect anyone I'd given any of Eleanor's outgrown clothes to to give them back to me. Nor would I be massively miffed if they'd sold them to be honest. I think part of the distinction is whether the gifts were given new, in which case I'd treat them as any other present, or whether they were outgrown clothes, where I think it's a bit more cheeky to sell them. However really, I wouldn't be bothered either way!

 

[Rags]

I think I would be a bit miffed to be honest. When I first read the op I thought no big deal. I changed my mind when i remembered how much time I'd spent researching charity shops within 10 miles of my area before donating ds prams and cot to the one I thought was most likely to be used by people with less money rather than more frugal, better off customers. Please don't get me wrong, I am all for people looking after the money they have but I really wanted someone who wouldn't normally be in a position to have really good baby stuff to have the chance of them.

 

[jd83]

It doesn't bother me usually when my family sell things I've given them, but I also know that many of them struggle financially so selling things I've given them that they no longer need for their kids means they can buy bigger size, or diapers, or formula, etc. I've seen several times postings of things that were probably not used yet, but needed to sell to get needed money for other essentials the baby needed. I don't give stipulations with things I'm giving away though, so once it leaves me hands, its up to them what they want or need to do with it. If they can use it for their kids, I'm thrilled to have helped. If selling it to help pay for other things their kids needs is what they need to do, I'm okay with that too. I'm glad to be able to help, no matter how they use what I've given them.

I agree with Staralfur on this one; sometimes you really don't know what's going on financially with friends, so don't be too quick to judge something like this. I only know the reasons my family sell things I've given because they ARE family, so I'm much more familiar with their financial needs than I would be with some of my friends. I know it can be annoying to see things you gave away being used for a profit, but honestly, that profit may truly be needed to make ends meet or to buy other items that are truly needed for the baby.

 

[Foogirl]

I guess the only difference to me is expectations. Like I said a lot of people i know pass hand me downs around. So it would just seem a bit mean to sell it on, when someone else could use the clothes/toys.

Yes but they are your expectations, not those of the recipient. So, if you don't want stuff sold, then why not say so when you hand it over?

 

[tommyg]

I think I would be a bit miffed to be honest. When I first read the op I thought no big deal. I changed my mind when i remembered how much time I'd spent researching charity shops within 10 miles of my area before donating ds prams and cot to the one I thought was most likely to be used by people with less money rather than more frugal, better off customers. Please don't get me wrong, I am all for people looking after the money they have but I really wanted someone who wouldn't normally be in a position to have really good baby stuff to have the chance of them.

If you mean chains of the same charity shops, Heart Foundation etc they move stuff about knowing they will fetch more cash for the same item in some shops than others, and also things they know won't sell in better of areas they move to poorer areas.

 

[Damita]

I would be annoyed, I gave clothes to my local baby group which are free for other mums then found out one of the mums had taken some items and was selling them on fb upset me

 

[Damita]

Oh and they weren't her daughters age... I was shocked

 

[BigAl]

I guess the only difference to me is expectations. Like I said a lot of people i know pass hand me downs around. So it would just seem a bit mean to sell it on, when someone else could use the clothes/toys.

Yes but they are your expectations, not those of the recipient. So, if you don't want stuff sold, then why not say so when you hand it over?

I would probably would just ask them to pass them on, it's no big deal.

 

[kissesandhugs]

I guess I'm not seeing the big deal either. I have so many clothes for LO and can't remember what was given, what I bought, what was a gift etc etc. I plan on selling some and giving away some..depending. If I gave a friend clothes I don't think I'd be too upset as either way I gave the clothes to benefit THEM and if that means making some extra cash to help with bigger clothes, diapers or what have you then so be it! Happy to help in anyway and as I can't just hand over cash as I'm not very well off then I'd be glad that in a way...I still helped out. I think I'd be a bit upset if I handed over these clothes then literally days after I see them selling it.

I did see on facebook a 'friend' posted a huge thank you to someone who gave her a nice swing and how much her baby loved it (baby and all sleeping in it) then maybe about 2 days later she was selling it on a facebook sale group. It does have similarities except the fact that her baby obviously enjoyed it and I can't imagine a newborn grew out of it that fast. BUT, on the other hand...maybe she hit a hard spot and asked the 'giver' of this swing if they minded if she sold it for some cash instead to help with formula, diapers It's hard to not judge but you just never know.

 

[misspriss]

I received bags and boxes of used clothes from people I didn't know (like my husband's cousin once removed's mother-in-law and the sister of a girl I used to work with who works with my husband now). My son wore the clothes while they fit, and then I sold them (along with all the clothes I bought) and used that money to buy new ones. I would be quite perturbed if these people who gave me their old boxed up/bagged up clothes got offended that I used them, washed them, carefully hung and prepared them for consignment, and sold them.

I did check with my mother in law when she bought me large items like a swing, a pram, and a high chair - she ended up asking to keep the high chair but saying the others would be fine. But clothes? It would be quite petty, IMO, to check back on a gift like that and be annoyed that someone was reselling it.

 

[Rags]

I think I would be a bit miffed to be honest. When I first read the op I thought no big deal. I changed my mind when i remembered how much time I'd spent researching charity shops within 10 miles of my area before donating ds prams and cot to the one I thought was most likely to be used by people with less money rather than more frugal, better off customers. Please don't get me wrong, I am all for people looking after the money they have but I really wanted someone who wouldn't normally be in a position to have really good baby stuff to have the chance of them.

If you mean chains of the same charity shops, Heart Foundation etc they move stuff about knowing they will fetch more cash for the same item in some shops than others, and also things they know won't sell in better of areas they move to poorer areas.

Which is why I passed them on to 'home from home' who have a referal policy.

 

[Foogirl]

I guess the only difference to me is expectations. Like I said a lot of people i know pass hand me downs around. So it would just seem a bit mean to sell it on, when someone else could use the clothes/toys.

Yes but they are your expectations, not those of the recipient. So, if you don't want stuff sold, then why not say so when you hand it over?

I would probably would just ask them to pass them on, it's no big deal.

See, that's different. If you've asked for them to be passed on but someone sells them then you'd rightly be annoyed, but most folk don't say that. Certainly no one I've every got stuff from has said that.

 

[tinkerbelle93]

I would be annoyed, I gave clothes to my local baby group which are free for other mums then found out one of the mums had taken some items and was selling them on fb upset me

Now that definitely is rude!

 

[Bex84]

I wouldent be bothered but then i dont pass on stuff i would be bothered about. Most dd clothes went in roof and i will be going through them for new lo. My sisters pregnant as is friend so if they have a girl will hand some on. I have been given stuff by people mil knows and do you know what i couldent tell you which stuff it was from stuff i bought so i will be selling bits and pieces, however when we have got stuff i always get their lo something as a thankyou. I really dont know how people remember where clothes came from. Mind you lo still fits in to some of 18-24 month stuff so long time to remember lol

 

[SerenityNow]

This wouldn't upset me. When I pass things on I'm glad to have them out of the house. The recipient is doing me as much a favor by taking them as I am by giving the stuff away. What they do with it is up to them. I'd have no hard feelings.

One funny story though, we gave a framed backpack carrier to some friends when our middle DD grew out of it. 3 years later when I was pregnant with our 3rd my OH found it at a random yard sale, bought it back for $5. We knew it was ours because there were stickers on it.

 

[kissesandhugs]

This wouldn't upset me. When I pass things on I'm glad to have them out of the house. The recipient is doing me as much a favor by taking them as I am by giving the stuff away. What they do with it is up to them. I'd have no hard feelings.

One funny story though, we gave a framed backpack carrier to some friends when our middle DD grew out of it. 3 years later when I was pregnant with our 3rd my OH found it at a random yard sale, bought it back for $5. We knew it was ours because there were stickers on it.

Haha that's awesome

 

[supertabby]

I assume she used them and her lo has now outgrown? If so, given that you made it clear you didn't want them back and she tried to give you some money for them at the time I don't think I'd be bothered in your shoes.

I'd find it rude if she sold them straight away rather than using (I'm not judging a one off gift that's too small here btw, when DD was born in March we were given a 3-6 month thick furry snowsuit from Next. Given we had no use for such an item in the middle of summer I exchanged it without telling the giver as I didn't want her to be offended, I did try to get it in a bigger size for winter but none left so got other clothes).

We're passing on our clothes to sil who's pregnant with her first. If we didn't have anyone to pass them to I'd give them to the women's refuge or another charity where the clothes are given directly to those in need. However for some families the income from selling on outgrown clothes makes a big difference and you never truly know someone's financial situation.

 

[lindseymw]

It wouldn't bother me.

I have gave all my baby clothes to my sister. She did me a favour and freed some space up in my house. What she does after then, is up to her. If she wants to sell them then she can.

 

[Gnome Home]

I think, if there was an agreement made and one person doesn't honor it, I would be angry and talk to the person.
If there wasn't an agreement to begin with, I might be annoyed, but I'd try to get over it and not blame the other person as it would kind of be my fault for not stating what I wanted to be done with the clothes once they don't need them anymore.

But. I can understand why it irks you.