September 2021 due date babies!!!

[MadamRose]

You're right, it's not your fault. And how you give birth *is* your right.

But if they don't have anyone available, that's literally just how it is. Rights don't come into it when we're not in normal times, everyone's just doing their best with a bloody horrible situation. Can't magic up staff if they don't have them or they are already occupied elsewhere. The pandemic fucking sucks - take it from someone who lost a loved one to it and is still broken with that loss. And the NHS staff are pushed to the brink with it now, not only are they going off sick with the virus itself, but also the stress of what they've been through and the excessive workload and all the rest of it. Then throw in the ridiculous amount of lockdown babies - we've all been busy bees while stuck at home - and they are stretched so thin its unreal.

So if the midwives are all needed at hospital - where they can support three or four women at once, including those who have higher needs and risks - over homes where they can only do one birth at a time, then it's entirely understandable. They need to be where they are most needed and can do the most good, and that's hospital right now.

Absolutely sucks for you if you don't get your planned birth, but still perfectly understandable.

Really do think someone should have made you aware this could happen though, given you the chance to find a private doula or midwife instead - maybe that's still an option, make some calls and see if you can get one? Last minute shutdowns and changing plans are the absolute worst and this should have been made clear as a possibility from day one. Agree they've completely let you down there and this is stress you absolutely do not need when you should be calmly readying for baby.

My friend had her little one at home recently, no midwives available but she just called the ambulance when baby was nearly there. That's always an option for you even if they can't do the full home birth. And apart from a few hours in hosp after for stitches, all went great.

I know it sucks what I’m saying it there a lots of trusts that aren’t using all available midwives they aren’t using the students, agency etc like the guidance says. And at the end of the day if I do go into hospital I’ll take my girls, then I’ll discharge myself and baby pretty much straight after birth.
Private midwives are out of the question as they are £3000+ but I am looking into doula but they can’t do the same as what a midwife can

 

[MadamRose]

@Suggerhoney sorry you are not sleeping well, and what a crazy dream! The things these pregnancy hormones do to us hey!

 

[LoneWanderer]

Still time for baby to turn! Some of them even do it on the way out. Look at spinning babies, that's got some good tips for shuffling the buggers about. They might offer to manually try and turn for you but that scares me tbh, see if gravity can do it first.

If you *do* need a section honestly it's not half as scary as it sounds, very quick in fact and very calm. I was up and about a few days after mine, and though there's a couple of weeks of shuffling about like an old lady (and absolute fear of sneezing/coughing/laughing/pooping) on the whole it was not what I expected from major surgery at all. Obviously that's hopefully not how it goes for you but *if* it does, don't panic. Meanwhile get spinning that baby!

 

[LoneWanderer]

The students are already drafted in here and working on the ward at our place, and I've seen a retiree who came back too for one appt I had. My consultant was unavailable last visit too so that was a locum I saw... honestly they are just so overstretched right now and I feel for them so much. Part pandemic but also just so, so many babies, like literally everyone is having lockdown babies! I mean, it was inevitable really...

 

[Bittersweet]

Had a look on spinning babies so it’s saying ball and go on all 4a so will keep trying that

 

[LoneWanderer]

Ahhh crap, Lord Toddly-Bobs is awake after a pitiful half hour nap, bet he's gonna be an absolute arse for the rest of the day now(!)

 

[Bittersweet]

Haha oh bless!

 

[MadamRose]

So apparently they are suspended until 31st August which basically is me 100% out. My midwife is seeing if the neighboring homebirth team will take me on but isn’t too hopeful. Me and my birthing partner have been talking and I may potentially birth at home anyway, which will mean rinigkng hospital when I start and stating I’ll be birthing at home either way putting ball in their court, the doing it ourselves knowing that ambulance can be called if needed. Not going to go into details but I ad a ad experience after DD1 and labouring in a hospital potentially puts me at risk of reliving lots of trauma making birth in hospital potentially bad for both baby and I. I’m not doing it to be “awkward” Hoping to know more when I see her in person later.

 

[LoneWanderer]

Glad you've got a supportive birth partner, and literally no reason you can't just stay home as long as possible, plenty of people don't make it to hospital and have babies just fine anyway in cars and supermarkets and whatnot: just make sure you call medics if something seems off but otherwise no reason not to crack on at home with your pool as planned - its not like its your first, you'll know all the stages and signs and stuff.

Completely understand your frustration here, so close to the finish line too. Just not enough midwives to go around, I reckon even in hospital most people gonna be left to get on with it alone unless absolutely needed.

Which makes me think birth partners should definitely be allowed to stay on ward all day afterwards, do most of the nursing of mums so the midwives don't have to worry about it: but apparently that's a no go(!)

 

[MadamRose]

@LoneWanderer I agree my after care with DD1 was also awful and that was in normal none covid times when they weren’t rushed off their feet. I didn’t think my birthing partner would be comfortable with just going for it but she does just gonna hope baby comes before she goes away as not sure my mum would feel the same

 

[Bittersweet]

Did they say why @MadamRose? I think a good back up plan is a good idea it needs to be whatever you’re comfertable with.

 

[MadamRose]

Did they say why @MadamRose? I think a good back up plan is a good idea it needs to be whatever you’re comfertable with.

I think I’d feel more comfortable birthing at home with a supportive friend and maybe a doula and ringing ambulance if needed than I would in a hospital. She’s saying it’s staffing levels so one of the things I’m exploring is speaking to head of midwifery at hospital to ensure all guidance has been followed in terms of who they call on etc

 

[Bittersweet]

I think I’d feel more comfortable birthing at home with a supportive friend and maybe a doula and ringing ambulance if needed than I would in a hospital. She’s saying it’s staffing levels so one of the things I’m exploring is speaking to head of midwifery at hospital to ensure all guidance has been followed in terms of who they call on etc

Is there an issue with COVID levels in your area jist now? Have they increased drastically? I just can’t really understand if they were allowed and now not

 

[MadamRose]

Is there an issue with COVID levels in your area jist now? Have they increased drastically? I just can’t really understand if they were allowed and now not

Nope not as far as I’m aware. I don’t get why it’s changed even my midwife said she’s never known then cancel it on more than a day by day basis before

 

[Bittersweet]

Nope not as far as I’m aware. I don’t get why it’s changed even my midwife said she’s never known then cancel it on more than a day by day basis before

That would be handy to know wouldn’t it to inform decision. As I said here they cancelled home births and moved everything to the main hospital during peak COVID and lockdown but changed the home birth policy anyway

 

[LoneWanderer]

This is literally the longest week I've ever known, now that we know other half is on half days from next week, and just two weeks til baby, and waiting for house news, it seems that time has slowed to an actual standstill here! Least when I didn't know when he was actually coming I couldn't count down the days and hours like I am now!

Can't even keep busy coz with the isolating plus the pain, can't do much beyond sitting down all day, am managing to squeeze a bit of work in (despite being on leave now!) but the housework is severely neglected and the child is being raised by cbeebies now. Ah well!

 

[Bittersweet]

What’s happening with the house lone?

 

[LoneWanderer]

So we have a mortgage broker, which I thought would make things waaaaay easier (me being self-employed means banks are funny about lending me at the best of times, let alone during a pandemic when they're all spooked, but the broker seemed best way to get a deal from someone).

But turns out he's just proper slack, does get shit done eventually but takes absolutely forever, never answers his calls or rings back unless you hound him for days... so despite having offer accepted, sending all our paperwork etc, showing proof of deposit and all that, we STILL haven't heard if we're even accepted for the damn mortgage.

Solicitors are on our back wanting to get paid and start moving stuff forward but after last time, when we lost money with the other seller pulling out after we'd paid stuff, we don't wanna do owt else until we know we can even get the mortgage. So we are waiting. And waiting. And bloody waiting.

Which, you know, with just two weeks til baby... there are better times to be having this stress. But hey, it is what it is.

Just for extra fun, I've got like three weeks to confirm my uni place and student finance STILL haven't approved my loan... and I've got my maternity allowance application in but they haven't contacted me yet either, even though my leave has started already. So baby's first few weeks are going to be chasing various monies instead of, you know, recovering. Argh.

But yeah... all good otherwise ahahahaha

 

[soloso]

Hey all! I’m a November due date here but just love stalking this thread, makes me so excited hearing all your updates as the end approaches! Good luck to everyone for the upcoming arrivals xxx

 

[Bittersweet]

Oh lone that’s so fustrating! Can you issue a bit of a warning like chop chop sort of thing?

@soloso thank you so much! We are defo 1 baby down I think now then I go in Sunday/Monday and maybe madam rose next too x