Elmaxie - big
to you, your poor bump too xxx
Mumto5 - good luck!
I need to have a rant so feel free to ignore me!
Firstly, I'm getting really hacked off with people staring at me, it's no wonder I want to hibernate. I've just got back from the retail park up the road and it made me feel totally paranoid. This one woman was staring at my bump and frowning - what's that all about? I'm a married woman in my 30's what on earth has she got to frown about?? Stupid Cow!
Secondly, I ended up in tears this morning as I'm having real issues with two of my closest friend's at the moment and my brother if I'm honest. Both of my friend's run their own business' and are really busy. They have both had a rough time through the recession and have had the odd problem in their personal life. But then so have I, I got made redundant (at least they are both financially secure and relatively wealthy), my DH has been seriously ill and we have been back and forth to court over access to my SD. Basically I haven't seen one of them for 18 months as she lives 200 miles away, she has made arrangements to come and see me and cancelled probably 5 times at least usually at the last minute. On the whole she has been pretty good at keeping in touch via the phone but the last 3/4 months she's been awful, not returning calls and texts. 3 weeks ago when my DH was in hospital she cancelled a visit and then sent me a message to say she would call that evening (she knew my DH was in hospital and was v ill) she didn't call me when she said she would despite my staying off the phone. 45mins after the time she said I text her and said I couldn't wait any longer. I didn't get a reply! Several times over the past 3 weeks I've tried to call and text her and she doesn't respond so after trying yet again at the weekend I sent her a message to say I was upset and wasn't going to bother wasting my time calling any more. I haven't heard from her! We have been friends for 9 years. If that wasn't bad enough my other friend has been equally bad, he's cancelled meeting up 4 times in the past 2 weeks, most recently this morning. There is always a "valid" reason but it's really getting me down. I've had a bit of a rant at him this morning about it and as always he's apologetic. Now he's re-arranged for Thurs but I've told him it's his last chance. I haven't seen him for months either despite the fact that he lives in London. It's difficult because his OH is a psycho who despite the fact that we've never been an item and I'm married won't accept we are just friend's, he's always treated me like a little sister and we have been friends for 11 years. My DH doesn't have a problem with it as he know's it couldn't be more platonic but his OH is insecure. I can't help feeling that my two close friend's have abandoned me when I need them the most. Luckily my best friend has been an absolute rock. I don't know what to do for the best as I'm getting to the point where I wonder whether it's worth it any more, but when you have been friend's for so long and through so much together it's hard to just walk away from the friendship. On top of that my own brother is being a complete arsehole to the point that my Mum ended up having "words" with him about it last night because he's down there on holiday at the moment. We have always been really close and thick as thieves. In truth he has always relied on me way too much and takes advantage. I've lost count of the £thousands he's had from me in cash, presents and holidays over the past 15 years. Not to mention the number of times he's crashed at mine for what was supposed to be a few days but turned into weeks not paying any rent or lifting a finger. I first noticed he wasn't bothering to call/visit so much when I was first made redundant so didn't have money to go shopping etc. Since I have been pregnant it's gone from seeing him practically every weekend to every couple of weeks and now literally a month or two without him turning up. When my Mum confronted him about it he said he knew he was being crap but he had things to do at the weekend. However, he seems to be able to find plenty of time for his friend's and since my step-brother and his wife moved to London he's basically swapped seeing me for seeing them. I'm so angry with him, I feel really hurt and really used. Despite knowing how tough things have been for us on the few occasions he's turned up he has been really depressive and monosyllabic. My DH has quite a temper on him and he's come very close to having it out with him several times. I've intervened as I don't want to deal with the fall out of it but at the same time I feel totally used. Normally I'm not one to walk away from confrontation if it's called for but I feel quite vulnerable at the moment and just don't want the hassle. I'm hoping my Mum speaking to him will help but I won't hold my breathe. If you've bothered to read this far and not skimmed onto the next post - thanks I appreciate it. I think I just needed to get this off my chest as I've been bottling it up for months
x