Darlings!!!!!
Huge apologies for being the world's worst thread mate....
Just the usual nuttiness: babies, work, weather, chaotic astrological signs, etc!
But!!!
I have been reading and have even made notes (because I care! I really truly do!
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), so apologies to anything I left out, but here are the personals:
First, she's our fount of experience and wisdom, but I am going to just quote and add emoticons:
Louise, I think I missed what was said but it just about sums things up when the children get used, and a baby is being bitched about, I think it just comfirms her as who she is, she never fails to let us down in the stooping low stakes, classy bird!
I wanted to say ym I very much enjoyed being a single mum, and it wouldn't phase me in the slightest, I felt i was giving so much up when i moved in with dh, it was quite sad for me, I can cope either way, its nice for the children to have a reliable father figure about, but my kids dads have always been good with the kids, sepperation and divorce brings out the good father in them! lol, they certainly do 10x the stuff than if we had still been together! I manage to nurture lazy partners, I am too mothering!
My thoughts exactly, but said so well.
YM - Kitten, you are so strong and so smart. I think you are going to find a much better path without this partner (who is not doing so well at being there when the going gets tough - an essential requirement of the life partner, in my opinion). Please try not to let the custody threats stress you. I cannot imagine that any court would look at the record of who did what and think that the girls would be ...safe? let alone something as ludicrous as "better off" with their father. My only advice here is to write it all down. Grab your posts off here (they are all dated) and use a daytimer to record what you do in a day for those babies and what he doesn't!
He won't have a hope in hell of even joint custody if you have quality evidence like that. And hopefully, it doesn't come to that. hopefully, he does what btp suggests: steps up to the plate as a father once the complications of a relationship are out of the picture.
Which leaves you, pretty lady, free as a bird to be your own woman and hold out for someone worthy. Single parenthood is scary, but honestly? You're already doing it from what you've described. Just know that there are lovely honest men out there who would feel honoured to be a father figure to your children and to do right by you. I've met many wonderful guys in my ancient 35 years and I think the many fish in the sea philosophy is so true. I think you are a tremendous woman to want a committed father in your children's life and admire you immensely for holding that standard up for them.
Okay, off soapbox now...
Louise - btp pretty much summed up my thoughts in those exact words: boy, the ex has outdone herself in nastiness, hasn't she? Making little boys listen to her disgusting rants about a baby! Sweet shit, there is a special place in hell for people that stoop that low. I don't care how bitter/mad/bitchy you are - LEAVE THE KIDS OUT OF IT!!! Full stop. Wishing a kinder, calmer place for those poor boys (ie yours!). She is beyond shocking.
opti - I know you've been feeling peevish and grumpy and awful lately, but you know what? You have such a self-awareness in your posts - I think that's half the battle, truly. You've got a perspective on things and that's what will save your sanity in the end. But meanwhile?
ladyk - I may be an anomaly, but I HATE baby carriers with a passion!!! I find them so awkward and heavy and I think they are terrible for baby's spine, posture and breathing. We bought a birth to 40lbs convertible seat for Simon and used it for Tobe, too. We just do a quick transfer into a baby-wearing device from the car seat and we're good to go. So, rather than three seats, you really can do just one. And I know this is still really new info for a lot of folks, but ERF is just SO much safer. As this takes hold, I think the car eat industry will be responding to the market and offering a lot more convertible choices. We're just in that unfortunate economic position of being caught in the middle of the change.
Asher - mid-week wine? Oh, sounds good to me! Don't mind if I do....
All the TTCers (or soon to be TTCers) -
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and have fun!
All the sick preggos: get better!
Okay, our update: Zoo xmas show winding down, but great success and feedback! Yay!
We are all kitted out with x-c ski gear, including pulk (kid sleigh), and are on our way tomorrow for a ski trip in Banff National Park. Hopefully I will have some good pics.
Monsieur Tobe is ridiculously cute these days - freaking out whenever he sees Santa, speaking very fluent caveman grunts and bird calls, and giggling to himself whilst trotting around on his beautiful pudgy little legs with his gorgeous fat tum and bum waddling along.
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Just perfect baby-ness. Love him so!
He did, however, wake up with a horrible barking cough today, so hoping this does not develop into anything too awful. Because it's the week before xmas - just when everyone usually gets noro virus, whooping cough, croupe, pneunomia, etc
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