Sorry for the selfish post ladies, I will catch up soon! Just really angry today about my MIL and got nobody else to tell really or rant to
I rang to chase up DD's blood test results yesterday and got the results, apparently she is allergic to just about everything they tested for! about 8 different varieties of nuts, milk, eggs, kiwi, coconut. I really didn't think that it would come back showing that she's allergic to milk as she has it every morning with her breakfast and she's never come out in any rashes or shown any reaction to it.
Anyway, in the end MIL decided she had to stick her nose in right away and asked OH to call her more or less as soon as he got back from work. Id only briefly called him myself to let him know that she had positive results for allergies but obviously couldnt talk to him about it properly while he was at work and so was waiting for him to come home. So obviously MIL thinks she's the most important person in the situation and deserves to know anything about it before anybody else, before me and OH had even sat down and discussed what we think is best to do for her now as parents, so he called her after he'd eaten his tea. She then told us what we should do with DD and how we should altar her diet, not what she thinks we should do or offering advice...just telling us what to do as usual with her...well OH was saying "mmm ok, ok" on the phone and she decided to go mental and shout at him "WHAT DO YOU MEAN MMM OK?" what the fuck! she needs to sort herself out and realise that her son is a 28 year old man, with a family and has the right to make his own choices without her telling us what to do all of the time and I'm sick of it. She's already dictated to us what nursery she thinks we should send her to, what school she thinks we should send her to, more or less everything else we do with her she tells us what to do and Im sick of listening to her now. IM her parent, IM the one who makes the final decisions about what is best for her and she needs to realize this quickly and back off a bit before things all end in tears.
In the end she send about 4 more nasty texts, basically saying that it was only because of her that Ellie got to have blood tests anyway(yes, thanks for making me sound like a failure as a parent and incapable of making sure she gets help when she needs it) and that she's sick of us taking her for granted( can not see any part in the situation she's being taken for granted to be fair, so that's a load of balls) and that she's not bothering any more with us about things. It's pathetic! OH even text her back before she said all of this saying he was going to ring her back and apologize but we weren't home, Ellie wasnt in bed and OH and me hadnt discussed it together yet either. Apparently she's more important to let to know first though over me and my OH discussing it as her parents. I also posted on facebook a general status about ellies results coming back positive and what she was allergic to AFTER id rang OH and let him know about it and she's made some nasty comment about me posting it on facebook before I'd let her know. She isn't even on my facebook friends so god knows how she's spying on my feeds but it's got absoloutely nothing to do with her, am I supposed to ring her and let her know that I'm going to be making a status about Ellie on facebook every time I want to post? I am liiiivvvid as you can all tell. I went to bed reallllly angry and ive woken up really angry about it.
I dont know what to do now because she hasnt apologized and we're supposed to be going to tea on friday but there's no way in hell im going if nothing has been said between now and then about last night, she can forget it. Im also worried im going to end up saying something I regret in the end, like I don't know who she thinks she is and she might try to control Ben at his age but there's no way in hell she can control me and tell me what to do and she needs to know her place. :/
Also she is trying to pressure me in to breast feeding and the whole allergy thing with Ellie is going to be her catalyst now to push me even harder. When I got bottles the other week she questioned why I'd got them as "you're breast feeding arent you'?" when I said I was looking forward to a glass of wine at christmas it was "You cant do that because you're breast feeding you sound like an alky" and she keeps on going on and on about how I need to breast feed and how because Ellie has eczema and allergies it'll stop this baby from getting them if I breast feed and that I need to do it.
I am going to breast feed for as long as I can, but if I'm physically to exhausted to do it or it's making me ill, or im struggling I will move to bottle like I did with Ellie as it isnt fair on me making myself ill and becoming useless to the baby and Ellie as a mother. I just feel like she's going to put loads of pressure on me and if I stop doing it she's going to make me feel like Im being a bad mother and try to tell me Im doing it wrong
Im just so sick of her telling me what to do all of the time
what does Ben say about what had been happening with mil? In laws are a difficult one and think every has their ups and downs with relatives. Would you ba able to speak calmly to mil on Friday about what she says making you feel bad , and that as a parent you don't appreciate to be questioned
so it's touchy.
x
