sex...how do i explain i dont want to hear it

[mBLACK]

I agree, you should talk to your son before somebody else does. Children sometimes have the wrong idea about sex or what it is, and take it from me I'm 15 and pregnant, believed the pull out method worked. We all got wrong information about sex when we were that age, and some of the people I know are having sex (unprotected!) at the ages of 11 and 12. Better safe than sorry.

 

[Rachiebaby24]

I agree with MBlack.....i have a 12 year old brother....(his dad dies when he was young so he doesnt have a man around....i always laugh and joke with him about sex and if there is something on telly i will bring up the conversation because i want him to have the right information....it is embarrassing and it is horrible (and im not even his mum!) but it needs to be done....all i would say is of they are informative questions, like how does a man give a woman oral sex, etc i would just answer bluntly...obviously if he asks questions about you then tell him its none of his business!! ha ha

My OH actually chatted with my little brother about sex and turns out he has just started masturbating and watches porn!! (this actually made me feel sick!!!) but my OH reassured me that its normal....and my little brother has also been watching that programme a girls's 21st century guide to sex.....its quite informative and my OH said that my little brother said he didnt actually want to watch the sex as such, but know where everything goes and what a vagina actually looks like.....

It probably curiousity for your son at this stage (as he is just starting to fancy girls) and also probably wants to find out whether half of his friends are telling the truth when they discuss things....

I have talked about safe sex with my little brother and it was embarrassing but its better he knows as there are so many myths... (cant get pregnant if you do it standing up, etc) i tld him to always wear a condom and to never believe a girl if she says she is on the pill (some girls lie and forget to take it!!)

I know its hard as he is your little boy, but if he cant come to you, who can he come to?

 

[Faerie]

I would agree with RachieBaby... I'm not a Mum yet, and I think each child is different, but if he's asking the questions then I think he deserves the honest answers. You shouldn't have to go into your sex life but just be blunt. My Mum thought she did a good job as she explained how babies were made when I was 3 and she was pregnant with my little sister, but funnily enough I'd kind of forgotten about it by the time it became relevant!! Ok, obviously I'd figured out how babies were made, but it was the only talk she ever gave me, apart from telling me when I was 14 that she'd send me away if I got pregnant.. charming, it meant I never discussed anything with her ever again. She says now she was just trying to scare me and never meant it, but it meant I felt really alone.
I remember that I'd never heard of oral sex when the "subject" first came up, and I was 13 or 14. I ended up going along with it because I didn't want the boy, who I really liked, to think I didn't know what it was Maybe I was just super super naive, but if I'd been better informed I like to think I'd have known how to say no.
I don't know what sex ed classes are like in the UK nowdays. I remember we had a talk about periods when I was about 8, but again I was still shocked when mine arrived when I was 10, guess I thought it was something that happened to adults. We had sex ed, which involved a couple of half hour classes watching some nudists play tennis... not quite sure what the aim of that class was!! I'm sure just having books around and it being something that your son feels he can approach you about will be no end of help. I can imagine it's embarassing for you but I bet he'll thank you for it, good luck!

 

[Rachiebaby24]

may be a good idea also, if you look through some girl's teen magazines....they have some good sex articles....(not just the biology of it all) but positions, safety, emotional issues...if you cut it out and when he brings something up you coudl say that you was reading though a magazine at the doctors etc and you thought he might find it informative....i dont think they do teen mags for boys....which is a shame as i got a lot of info from girls magazines when i was younger!

 

[Faerie]

Teen mags were banned by my mother.... wow I don't know how I survived.

 

[Rachiebaby24]

i used to love them...especially the "sealed sections" they were really good and showed you about diseases, myths, wonky boobs, penises, positions...everything!!! Its good to know these things...and i dont think its encourages young people to have sex...i never lost my virginity until 16 and a half...but by the time i did do it...i was very informed!! (Which was good as my boyf at the time wanted to not wear a condom and said he would pull out, and i told him wear it or we dont do it!! I read that it doesnt work so there and i dont know where your willy has been!!!!!!! he was not amused!!!) ha ha

 

[Faerie]

I know my Mum was just doing what she thought was right and trying to protect me, but there are certainly a few things I'll be doing differently! Of course no one's going to get it perfectly right, but I'll sure try

 

[darkheaven77]

i bought my oldest a book that had all the answers and i discuss every thing with them as i dont want them having any hang ups in life as sex isnt dirty maybe im just to open minded but it has helped her at school to with sex education she got top marks

 

[hopeandpray]

I think that it's great that mothers of boys are starting to make an effort, most boys my age don't have a clue! moms are more worried about their daughters getting pregnant but oviously it's a two way thing. My parents although they were too embarassed to tald to me gave me like 5 books which i pretended to be uninterested in as i 'knew it all' but spent every night under the covers thinking eww! that's disgusting! why would u want to put that in your mouth lol I met my OH when we were 16. He had already had 8 sexual partners, i thought he must be an expert, when we started discussing contraception he just said oh, i'll pull out. He had NEVER used a condom and never heard of precum! teach your boys, knowing how to do it isn't enough

 

[lozzy21]

My mam was open and honest with us. No matter how old we were and what question it was. I can remember asking my mam what a bj was when i was 10 and was nearly sick when she told me, my mam found it hilarious. Id just tell him so then hes not getting the wrong information and hopefully giving the right info to his mates.

 

[lissaloo]

hi my daughter has just turned 13 i never bring up the subject but if she ask's me a question i give her an honest answer ! somtimes i find it really embarrassing but if i don't tell her the right way she may learn the hard way and i don't want that !!

 

[sleepinbeauty]

I wish I could have talked to my parents about sex. It was completely forbidden. If he brings it up, you should talk to him because it must be important to him if he brought it up in the first place, you know?

 

[hopeandpray]

I don't know what sex ed classes are like in the UK nowdays. I remember we had a talk about periods when I was about 8, but again I was still shocked when mine arrived when I was 10, guess I thought it was something that happened to adults. We had sex ed, which involved a couple of half hour classes watching some nudists play tennis... not quite sure what the aim of that class was!!

ours was a naked family brushing their teeth .. it's no wonder kids have strange views about sex