She used to be one of "us"

[wishful think]

oopps

 

[wishful think]

Dilly wrote(((((((((((I think you should just say F**K Off... Check out their reaction...haha... they won't say it again!!
But we are so nice we just force a smile with our teeth gritted and say, yes maybe, i really think I am quite relaxed... (or at least i was until you stuck your nose in and caused my Blood pressure to go through my head with that comment!!)xx PS i think i am a bit pre menstrual at the mo... can you tell!))))))))

Hey girls,
Soooooooooooooooo funny, just nearly wet myself laughing, think i might have to just try that, just imagine their reaction - priceless
Wishful Thinking

 

[wishful think]

dont know what i did in the last 2 posts, trying to reply to other threads, ooooopppps, new to this!!!! Sorry!!!!!!!

 

[Titi]

Hi all-just jumping in-I enjoyed all your rants I've had each one along with the understanding of the other side as well.

I don't mind, really when the person who's giving the advice has experience with ltttc. Maybe there is a little wisdom behind those words and they are only trying to offer hope.

For me though, the remarks ALWAYS come from people who have had kids whenever and however they want, as soon as they ttc-and even then all the TTC consisted of was having unprotected sex with wish of making baby-or maybe a stray opk here or there.

In fact-my Dh's cousin has a 1 yr old baby girl she conceived the 1st or 2nd month trying for with just an opk. Well we've been trying just about as long for our first-and a few months ago she decided it would "be perfect" to have babies 1.6 months apart. So guess what they decided to ttc for that and BANG pg again with perfect timing. How is that for you? Meanwhile that same cousin's brother married a girl he'd just met. Their mom confided to me that he had used steroids and had a low count so would probably be in the same boat as us. Well like two weeks later he posts an ultrasound on FB-they were already PG!

So-its all these people that give us advice and like they know at all. Even worse then people saying relax is the ones who ask me if I have ever tried an opk. Like do they really think that after 16 cycles of ttc I haven't even opk? Poor unsuspecting them I can tell them about cervical positions & mucus and temping-ha~

 

[wishful think]

hi titi, i feel your pain!! It's not fair at all. I actually have one friend who decided to try for baby number 2 because she knew the trouble that i was having getting pregnant and guess what after 1 month of trying she got pregnant!!! I swear it was like getting a kick in the teeth She texted me to let me know her wonderful news the day she did her pregnancy test!!! cheers mate, nice one!!!!

 

[lisaf]

My best friend said that to me the other day. She was very tentative about it instead of insisting that relaxing was the right thing to do, which helped. I told her that I'm not losing sleep or physically exhausted from stress. Unless I were a basketcase 24-7, then relaxation would not do anything to help me. I don't ovulate on my own, a few margaritas will not make my eggs pop out.

It didn't even occur to me until a week+ later that she was not 'relaxing' that month she got pregnant. She was on the phone with me every day obsessing and thought she wasn't ovulating etc. She claims she relaxed because she didn't write her temps down. She still took her temp most mornings though and had sex every other day. Because she didn't write her temps down, she didn't see that she had ovulated and was stressing out about it.

 

[puppymom32]

I'm in I pledge to never be like that.

 

[urchin]

There's a big difference between saying that you relaxed and got pregnant - and telling others that if they do likewise it will work for them too.....as far as I'm concerned that's just arrogant, regardless of your own ttc journey.

And yes, I will sign the pledge if I am ever lucky enough to get pregnant as I'm sure that relaxing won't encourage any non-existant eggs into existance, nor will it coax a clutch of yolkers out of a donor, mix them with my partners sperm and inject them into my womb lining

 

[WntAnthrBBad]

thats stupid. relax ha ha

 

[Omi]

I take the pledge too. And i'll add my 2 pence, too! :growled:

Im currently in my own personal hell at work - 5 women have popped up pg in the last 2 months. 2 in the last week alone - so much so that when I told DH even he went 'wtf is going on at your job?!'. 3 of them know my story (2 mc, tests, desire to have family etc) and yet - no thought for me or my feelings at all. One of them has tried for 4 years and im very happy for her, but to think i actually worried about a thoughtful way of breaking it to her when, god willing, i get pg again!!

Im actually shocked by the lack of consideration some women have, to forget their own journey and/ or apply it to your own experience. WTF, no i don't get it. Don't get me wrong, im happy for most of them but some empathy would be nice. After all, every success in someone else only highlights your own lack thereof.

As far as the 'just relax' issue. Please! Everyone goes through that OMG period but that one usually comes and goes and you settle into a routine. It may not be much of a routine but it is a routine nonetheless. If anything id wish i wasn't reminded all the time of what i don't have. Saying 'just relax' or more aptly (cause that is what they really mean) 'forget about it' is neigh on impossible. Not only because you have to be on top of it for it work (excuse the pun ) but also for you to forget all about it and just relax would take all the babies, prams, families, pregnant women, programs and adverts with all or parts of the former to disappear for a while.

Saying just relax to me is like saying it to a former addict living in a crack house!@!*^%

Aaaaaaaaand - exhale, lol!

 

[beanz]

I'll pledge. I hate it when people say:

h'I know it'll jappen for you guys'

and

'I have a good feeling about it'

Like after years of trying they somehow know that this is going to be the month that I miraculously conceive!

 

[lisaf]

I am constantly being told 'it'll happen next month' or 'I'm sure things will settle down and your cycle will come back'

I'm feeling slightly smug as those hopeful people see each one of these months go by and their optimism is wavering. Its like a little revenge and justification for my own pessimism/realism.

 

[subaru555]

I agree that relaxing helps. Although I'm also for my body being at it's best before it happened. If your stressed it can alter your cycle.

BUT I would never say I got pregnant just from relaxing! I had a huge 3 week bleed the cycle before I got pregnant. This was the first time in 6 years.

I will never know why it happened when it did, but I was relieved we would've been starting IVF soon.

 

[2016]

I have tried stressing, relaxing, standing on my frikkin head! What nonsense is she spouting???
I seem to get a lot of flack because we have only been TTC for 8 months....BUT it looks as though my tubes are blocked so no amount of relaxing is going to help that now is it?

My BF and I started TTC together. We were pregnant together first time round but mine was ectopic and hers was a mmc at 6 weeks. She got pg again very next cycle and I often feel like she rubs it in my face. She is constantly complaining about how she hates being pregnant. Yes, that's right! She even said that to my face while I was standing there bleeding from the second ectopic and she knew! She also suggested, before ectopic was confirmed, that I may have cause a mc by "being too stressed".

Some people

PLEDGE!

 

[wishful think]

oh that is just terrible, how can people not think before they open their mouth!! 2016 i dont know how u didnt deck her???

 

[Isi Buttercup]

Gosh, it is SOOOO ANNOYING when people say that! It's bad enough when its from people who have never been there, but coming from someone who knows what it feels like to have your heart wrenched out of your chest everytime the dreaded AF shows is totally out of order!!

I pledge to be as honest and factual and supportive of anyone I meet who is going through this present struggle of mine. When God blesses me with my baby, rather than do the gloat and give the "It won't happen if you keep stressing" line, I would rather shut my mouth open my arms wide to give a big bear hug!

 

[Toptack]

Ladies, I hope you don't mind me joining in... I fell pregnant after 23 cycles of trying, while waiting for IVF to start. Five or six people so far have said to me "oh, it must be because you relaxed a bit, knowing that you were going for IVF". It drives me up the freaking wall. I was not the least bit relaxed about starting IVF. I tend to reply by telling them about how 6 months of clomid finally got my cycles up to a normal length (from 21 days to 27) and how coming off clomid had really boosted my cervical mucus production which probably helped me to get pregnant... strangely they seem to lose interest somewhere around 'cervical mucus'.

 

[beauty]

I love the success stories of ladies falling pregnant before ivf but i doubt so much that will happen to me.. we have MF problems and i have pcos and i have relaxed so much if i relax anymore i will fall over!! lol

I think i got to the point where i have given up on thinking its going to happen natural cause if im honest my chances would be around 1% each cycle so i couldnt be any more relaxed if i tried knowing it isnt happening natural xx

 

[xkissyx]

im in with the pledge! xx

 

[lisaf]

Ladies, I hope you don't mind me joining in... I fell pregnant after 23 cycles of trying, while waiting for IVF to start. Five or six people so far have said to me "oh, it must be because you relaxed a bit, knowing that you were going for IVF". It drives me up the freaking wall. I was not the least bit relaxed about starting IVF. I tend to reply by telling them about how 6 months of clomid finally got my cycles up to a normal length (from 21 days to 27) and how coming off clomid had really boosted my cervical mucus production which probably helped me to get pregnant... strangely they seem to lose interest somewhere around 'cervical mucus'.

Thanks for the laugh! You are clearly in the right place here! I'll have to remember to mention cervical mucus whenever someone starts sharing an opinion that is not welcome about TTC!