Should the father be at the birth?

[Noodlebear]

I'm a bit of a weird one...throughout my pregnancy I didn't want my OH being there, I really wanted to just be left alone to get on with it we discussed it and he wanted to be there so he was by my side the whole time because it meant a lot to him. If I REALLY didn't want someone there he wouldn't have gone with me and this is someone I've been with for 3 years. I don't think anyone should just expect to be in the delivery room, it can be an incredibly frightening and traumatic experience for us women and I think it's our right to decide who is and isn't watching us at such a vulnerable time in our lives.

 

[Piper84]

It's interesting that a lot of the responses here are about the mother's wishes being respected if she doesn't want the father there, because I think it's just as much of an issue for men who don't want to be present, not because they're not supportive, but because they can't handle the complete helplessness of the situation. For a lot of men who are used to being there for their wives/gfs and beings active in helping them out if they need it, childbirth is a situation of powerlessness.

DH has always wanted to be with me during labour and birth, but if he really didn't want to I would have to respect that as well.

 

[bubbles123]

My OH was there for the birth of my 2 and he said he was glad he was in the end but he was pretty traumatised by it really. I was out of it with the pain but I needed intervention both times, there were doctors running about, forceps, rushing to theatre... I was in so much pain. I don't blame him for being a bit traumatised really! He's said if we have another he's not sure if he wants to be there or not and I completley understand. Ultimately it's up to the woman but she should respect the mans wishes too if she can.

 

[RedRose]

I think 100% the woman should be able to decide who is with her while she labours. Anyone present should be there as a support for mother and baby and not as a spectator. Childbirth has obviously come a long way in this country but it still carries risks for mothef and baby and I think the mother's wishes absolutely should come first.

For me personally, I wouldn't have minded if Luke didn't want to be there. The first time round, things went wrong and I'm glad he was there, but the second time I would have had no problem at all if he didn't want to be there.

 

[Andypanda6570]

My husband was also with me through all 3 of my births , well also my loss-birth of Ava my 4th But honestly I would have not minded if he chose not to be there. Don't know why i would have not minded, but i just would not have.