Should we not send a photo xmas card?

[feedindy]

Just wanted some advice. My Dh's best friend and his wife sadly experienced a miscarriage in April of this year, and have been trying to get pregnant but have not been successful yet. It would have been their first and they miscarried while I was 7 months pregnant. It has been very hard for them, and the wife is especially broken up about this. My heart goes out to them.

So we had photo xmas cards printed of our LO, and DH wants to send them that xmas card this year. I am not so sure this would be appropriate considering their situation. I want to send them a general xmas card and not the one with our LO's picture. Dh is sure that they wouldn't be sad seeing the baby picture, and I am not sure if I am overly sensitive.

So... should we send a non photo card, or the card with our LO on it like DH wants?

 

[zanDark]

My first instinct is to send them another card...I wouldn't want them to be sad by seeing my beautiful family when they've had such a painful and sad loss! I can't imagine how hard the holidays are going to be for them

on the other hand...I wouldn't want them to feel odd if I sent them a random card and they later heard from others that they were the only ones to receive a diff card iyknwim...it's a tough decision to make but I think I'd avoid sending them the card with the family pic...I haven't experienced a loss...but after almost two years TTC I'd be a bit sad to receive cards with beautiful family pics on them

You're such a sweet person to consider their feelings

 

[LucyHF]

Although they would probably be delighted to receive a card showing how happy you are as a family, it could also be a reminder to them of what they haven't got. I would be inclined to send another card to spare them the heartache. HTH.

 

[Nats21]

I think sending another card would probably be the right thing to do in this situation xxx

 

[NuKe]

i had 2 mcs this year and if i was in your friend's situation, yes it would sting opening up the card, but it would only last a few minutes. id send them it.

 

[Hunbun]

I would probably send them a different card.

 

[Armywife84]

I would send them a card but leave out the photo. Opening up a card and seeing someone's happy little family(although she's happy for you) is a painful reminder of what you are trying so desperately to achieve. I'm sure this time of year is painful enough due to it being a holiday for children which they thought they would've already had by now.

It's very, very considerate of you to think of her feelings. I wish had a friend like you.

 

[happygal]

I think i would send a different card x

 

[Avalanche]

I would send another card, and inside it write that you have a picture of LO that you have sent to everyone and include the photo for them but in a sealed envelope. Let them know you are thinking of them and wanted to leave it up to them if they would like the picture.

That way you aren't excluding them.

 

[smelly07]

I would send another card x

 

[babydevil1989]

see it wouldnt bother me if i got the card. i would be happy to see you and your family. yes they had a mc and its awful but id still want the card! x

 

[dizz]

I would send another card, and inside it write that you have a picture of LO that you have sent to everyone and include the photo for them but in a sealed envelope. Let them know you are thinking of them and wanted to leave it up to them if they would like the picture.

That way you aren't excluding them.

I'd go for that option to be honest. I've been on the other side of it and I know just how utterly utterly painful it was (I had to ask my MIL to turn off her digital photo frame with photos of SIL and her baby because it was so distressing to me as the babies would ahve been so close in age - and for a good couple of months I didn't go out of the house, apart from at like 6am to walk the dogs, because I just couldn't deal with seeing happy families and the memory of what I'd lost)... seeing a card with someone's baby on when I was at my lowest would have knocked me down for days - but people react differently.

 

[twinkle1975]

I would send another card, and inside it write that you have a picture of LO that you have sent to everyone and include the photo for them but in a sealed envelope. Let them know you are thinking of them and wanted to leave it up to them if they would like the picture.

That way you aren't excluding them.

https://www.runemasterstudios.com/graemlins/images/agree.gif

 

[sueh81]

If it were me on the receiving end I'd be happy to receive a photo card of a best friends lo! i know it's very sad that they've suffered a mc but you can't pretend that your lo doesn't exist!! x

 

[Twister]

I would send them a different card, if they find out that others have received the photo card then I would explain that you were just thinking of their feelings after going through such a difficult time and if they want you to sent them a photo card and it won't upset them then you are more than happy to.

I wouldn't say it's "pretending your LO doesn't exist" it's more like just looking out for your friends and being considerate of their feelings and I'm sure they'd really appreciate that.

 

[TwilightAgain]

I'd send them a different card

 

[Leafy]

I agree with the majority, a different card is probably best. xx