Skin to skin contact...

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - First Trimester' started by Flower15, Oct 3, 2013.

  1. sun

    sun Mum of 3

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    Hmm OH and I are the only ones who have done skin-to-skin, but I think it's a personal thing what you feel comfortable with. If you don't want someone else doing it, then ask them not to. My friends tiny preemie would only ever settle with skin-to-skin for the first 3+ months, so I think most of us (friends and family) did it with him and it wasn't weird at all. In fact it was kind of awesome having a village of surrogates helping this tiny baby thrive - and I think it made a huge difference for a baby that should have still been in the womb for months. If someone close asked me to do skin-to-skin with my baby then I don't think I would have a problem with it depending on who it was. But I want people to be involved with my kids - I really believe it takes a village. And the more love and support my kiddos get the better. xo
     
  2. HBGirl

    HBGirl Well-Known Member

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    Oh HELL no!!!
     
  3. Flower15

    Flower15 Mum and Pregnant

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    I do agree its a personal choice and people have different beliefs. If someone told me they felt comfortable with me doing skin to skin with their baby, that's a different issue. I would never just pop someone's baby down my top though without their expressed consent. I just think there's boundaries! X
     
  4. FeLynn

    FeLynn Well-Known Member

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    Oh hell no! It's my baby and my baby should only touch my chest not no one else !
     
  5. sun

    sun Mum of 3

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    Absolutely! I can't even imagine someone doing it without asking OMG. Definitely out of line there.
     
  6. Nats21

    Nats21 Well-Known Member

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    I don't get how she felt the need to do skin to skin but yet feels breastfeeding is unnatural?! And how she waited till you were out of the room to do it? Sounds very strange to me, I definitely think you are in the right hun xx
     
  7. jjj12109

    jjj12109 Member

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    No way! That's just odd. I can't even imagine someone asking if they could do that with one of my babies let alone walking into it without them asking. I would have completely lost it too!
     
  8. Misscalais

    Misscalais Well-Known Member

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    Only DH and I did skin on skin my our boys, my mum wouldn't do anything like that and mil well she probably would just to annoy me but we don't even speak anymore either not even DH and her speak. We have a huge fall out about 18 mths ago.
    But yeah skin on skin just for mummy and daddy :)
     
  9. wildworld

    wildworld Pregnant - 1st trimester

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    Hey, popping over from TTC. I'm not pregnant, but holy shit if my MIL did that, I would lose it. Heck I'd lose it even if my own mum did it. Skin to skin is for mum and baby, not MIL and baby, ugh. Tell her to come round when she wants to see your children. That way, you can be there to 'supervise' and tell her if she crosses a line (which she already has). And your OH needs to grow a pair and tell his mother that that kind of behaviour is totally unacceptable.

    xx
     
  10. Larkspur

    Larkspur Well-Known Member

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    I am obviously waaaaay more relaxed than most people because I just can't see myself being bothered by this.

    I don't even get on with my MIL all that well but I just can't see how baby having a closer bond to her (or my parents or whoever as long as it's close family) through skin-to-skin would be a bad thing.
     
  11. imaswimmer2

    imaswimmer2 Well-Known Member

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    Not in your average American household, either!

    On a side note, what is the British take on breastfeeding in public? I only did it in the privacy of my home, but many American women feel loud, proud, and empowered to pop a ta-ta out anywhere with any audience.
     
  12. mamaduke

    mamaduke Proud Mama

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    I'm all for skin-to-skin contact for our LOs if it's either DH or me, but I too would not be excited if I heard other family members wanting to do that. With our DS, DH did skin-to-skin during his first hour of life since I couldn't (as I was getting stitched up). And seeing that reassured me just how important skin-to-skin was to me - I told DH to go be with DS rather than with me. :cloud9:
     
  13. Skywalker

    Skywalker Well-Known Member

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    Wow, yeah, I would consider that a line severely crossed, especially since she didn't even ask. I would confront her and tell her that you didn't like when she did that the last time because you felt like she took something really personal from you and that you're pregnant and you don't want her doing that with your newborn. Just as simple as that. It's YOUR baby. I don't care if she's your MIL. No one should feel they have a RIGHT to do anything with your baby (besides maybe the father, who does have rights lol) but you know what I mean. She doesn't have a RIGHT to do that, especially not without asking! It's highly inconsiderate of her and in my opinion is really weird. Maybe she had fine reasons for doing it but still, I'd be livid. I also am a little bit of a bull in a china shop (but people usually always know where they stand with me lol) so you might want to find another more tactful way to say it than I've said above but either way it's your duty as a mother to be honest and protect your baby, so you really need to speak up.
     
  14. Mapleroo

    Mapleroo Well-Known Member

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    Pretty creepy! I thought my mil overstepped, but she never did that!
     
  15. Flower15

    Flower15 Mum and Pregnant

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    I understand what you mean and I do think its personal choice, I just wish Id have been given a choice in it, rather than walking in the room to it. It was a bit of a shock. If she'd have asked, I would have respected her for doing so, but still told her no. I would have gone crazy at my own Mum for doing it. Its not that I don't want LO to have a close relationship to other family members, I do understand what grandparents can offer a child in terms of developing, but LO is very close to my own Mum and has spent no time down her top! I think there are other means of bonding for other family members x
     
  16. Erised

    Erised Mummy to amazing girls

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    Breastfeeding in public is becoming a lot more acceptable again, with a lot of restaurants and coffee shops now actually having certificates up on the wall saying they promote breastfeeding in their establishment. I'm one of those who will breastfeed anywhere, and have done so from sitting on the floor surrounded by young children in a Disney show to a coffee shop in a book store surrounded by mostly elderly.

    You don't really see women doing it in full view though, either a cover up is used or the clothes are used to cover up any skin so you don't see anything.

    There's still plenty of women who only feel comfortable feeding at home though, probably more than that dare to feed out in public
     
  17. Flower15

    Flower15 Mum and Pregnant

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    Erised - Did you breastfeed your youngest child? I attempted to breastfeed DD but only lasted a week. I regret giving it up even now. I found it really difficult, I dont think being readmitted to hospital helped. Just wondering how you found breastfeeding with a toddler, if you did feed your youngest? You have a similar age gap to what I will have. Would love to breastfeed again, just don't want DD to suffer as Im constantly nursing etc. Thanks :) x
     
  18. Erised

    Erised Mummy to amazing girls

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    Yes, I did. I breastfed my oldest daughter until she was 2 and a half, then had to cut it 'short' as I was way too sensitive during pregnancy and she started biting. Not a good combination, and at 2 and a half I figured she'd had enough and it wasn't worth the pain for me.

    DD2 I have breastfed from the word go, and at 10 months she's still feeding 3 or 4 times a day. She's not really too interested though, and at times does refuse the night time feed all together and just wants to go to bed.

    As a newborn she obviously fed a lot, every hour and a half ish actually. My oldest didn't mind at all, and would happily entertain herself or sit next to me watching a show. The only thing I found a little frustrating was that I would have to feed her downstairs every time, I couldn't go upstairs and sit in the nursery to do it in peace and quiet. I still like the 'just before bed' feed the best as I get some 1 on 1 time with her in her bedroom.

    Once baby 3 comes along I'll probably tandem feed =)

    It's worth mentioning though, that I've never had problems with latch or flow and have had an easy time of it. I'm not sure how I would have dealt with it had I had problems. Maybe it's worth finding a lactation consultant near you before you're due and talk things over already, and get them to support you during the first few weeks? I know a lot of women find support in them, and are really helped by getting advice on their latch
     
  19. Rachie004

    Rachie004 Well-Known Member

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    Part of me thinks that if you were super close and a tightly knit family then it might be okay but I'm not close to my family or OH's so my overwhelming reactions is HELL NO!

    I'm not even sure if we're going to tell our families that we're having this baby; just to put it into perspective of how unclose we are :p
     
  20. Flower15

    Flower15 Mum and Pregnant

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    Thanks for this. Yeh there are breastfeeding work shops offered when Im 6 months pregnant so Im going to go to them. Its nice to know that it is managable. My supply and latch was fine... I made the mistake of pumping to help engorgement and I cant even explain how sore I made them by doing this. Pumping obviously led to more production that what LO needed :dohh:, so it was a constant battle. Think Il just take all the support available and take it day by day. Im just pleased Ellie had a few days of the colostrum etc, so want to do at least the same for the next baby, then see how I get on from there. Think I was niave last time, I couldnt wait to rush around and take baby out, so never really got the gist of cluster feeding etc. Did too much too soon. Thanks again for the advice :) x
     

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