Sleep Sense Support Group!

[Foogirl]

Thanks Polaris. Will teeth still bother babies once they've erupted though? I was hoping she'd feel better now it's come through... But I think you're right, as long as I won't let her fall asleep on a prop I suppose we can bend the rules a bit while she's not feeling well.

I'm all for bending the rules if they are out of sorts. Regardless of whether we want them to have good sleep habits, they are still babies who need a cuddle. After all, if you woke in the night and something hurts and your best person was there, wouldn't you want a cuddle? I sometimes have bad dreams that wake me in a cold sweat (last nights was that Mr Foo drilled through Abby's head with an electric drill to hang her on the wall to impress a work colleague...) I always courie in to him for a cuddle! Now that we are confident that Abby is well able to self settle, we will lift her if she wakes crying because we know something is wrong - one of the benefits of the program I'd say.

Although it does seem to have become a wee habit over the past few days. She's got a cough and a throat infection so is waking with the coughing. We have been lifting her but now she's getting better she is still at it - although she didn't last night. But I slept in her room so I'm wondering if that made a difference.

I'd be wary of changing anything in the routine for bedtime or where she sleeps until you are sure she is feeling better Petite. I'm not sure if she sleeps in her own room at the moment, but if she does and you think she needs you close by, can you sleep in her room?

It sounds like you did exactly the right thing, pick her up to settle her down, let her know the world is ok, then put her down to get herself off to sleep.

 

[hivechild]

I agree with the others. If your instincts are kicking up, then listen to them. I don't believe I'm going to do my baby boy unrepairable harm by giving him cuddles and snuggles, but I think that I can if I deny him them when he's upset or not feeling well.

 

[PetiteMoi]

Foogirl and Hivechild - thanks! I agree that we should bend the rules when something's not right, but I suppose hubby thinks we might be creating a habit now since we're being a bit 'soft' and sometimes pick her up, plus sitting next to her bed every night until she goes to sleep. And this 'phase' has lasted 3 weeks so I think he's thinking it's actually not a phase, just something we're creating by bending the rules.

It worked so well in the beginning - she took shorter and shorter time to settle and eventually she settled without crying after 5-10 mins. Now she takes 30-45 mins of crying and has done for the past 3 weeks. Can a phase last that long? Or should we be doing things differently, i.e. moving away from her bed etc?

 

[Cattia]

Hi everyone - just dropping in to say hello as it's been ages. I can't possibly catch up with all the posts I've missed! Hope you're all doing well and enjoying lovely long nights of sleep!
Sleep is going well for us - touch wood. Abigail is now settled with one long nap each day which is working great. Only 10 weeks left until baby number 2 is due, and then who knows what chaos will ensue! I am worried about it affecting Abigail's sleep more than anything. I am not looking forward to the return of sleepless nights - I have got used to having a baby who sleeps now!

 

[Foogirl]

Foogirl and Hivechild - thanks! I agree that we should bend the rules when something's not right, but I suppose hubby thinks we might be creating a habit now since we're being a bit 'soft' and sometimes pick her up, plus sitting next to her bed every night until she goes to sleep. And this 'phase' has lasted 3 weeks so I think he's thinking it's actually not a phase, just something we're creating by bending the rules.

It worked so well in the beginning - she took shorter and shorter time to settle and eventually she settled without crying after 5-10 mins. Now she takes 30-45 mins of crying and has done for the past 3 weeks. Can a phase last that long? Or should we be doing things differently, i.e. moving away from her bed etc?

OH maybe does have a point, but it is easily sorted. A phase can last a while, but I would go back to first principles and start again. Havevyou considered leaving the room? It might be that you are keeping her awake.

 

[PetiteMoi]

LO slept through two nights in a row, till 7.30 in the morning!!! BUT she's still not settling in the evenings, she cries like mad for 30-45 mins. I don't get it. Foogirl - we've tried leaving the room but that gets her even more upset and I hate listening to her crying her eyes out without being there to comfort her I think it might be teething but not sure. She sleeps through once she settles so can it really be that? How often should I give her calpol, even if I'm not sure it's teething? We try not to, as we don't want to use it as a 'sleeping pill'!!! Giving her teething gel and powders which don't seem to work...

 

[Arcanegirl]

Does the calpol always work or does she keep crying after, and how long for?

 

[PetiteMoi]

Does the calpol always work or does she keep crying after, and how long for?

It usually does work - she cries for 10 mins or so longer but settles soon after and doesn't keep waking up. However if we don't give it to her she takes 30-45 mins to settle and then usually sleeps ok, just waking up a few times but settling within 5-10 mins again so might not be worth it?! We've only given it to her on a couple of nights so far. But always while she's doing her 30-45 mins cry I keep wondering whether we should give the calpol.

 

[Arcanegirl]

hmmm it sounds like she might need it?

Have you tried Anbesol? Its a liquid for teething that soaks in much quicker than gels. We gave that alot before bedtime to help ease the discomfort and you can use it again half an hour later

 

[PetiteMoi]

Anbesol - have made a note of that, thank you!!

 

[Arcanegirl]

make sure its the liquid one! you ask for it at the chemist (like boots) as they dont have it on the shop floor

 

[Dilek]

Hi ladies

After reading a few of your comments about the program, i have purchased it. However here is the issue we are going to Australia in 2 weeks, will be there for 3 weeks. We will be staying at 2 homes during the time, my mums and dads. I got in contact with Dana and she suggested we wait until we come back. This was last week. However in the last week, he wont sleep anywhere besides my arm. He falls completely asleep and as soon as i put him in the crib he wakes up. Im going mental and i hate to admit, im really losing it even times with frustrations im rocking him. I feel like a bad mum. I dont know what happens. I cant deal with the constant bf every 2 hours. Only way he sleeps is by nursing and sometimes he is soo sleepy he refuses me and then it becomes a game to get him to nurse.

On top of all that his eczema has gotten worse and i think that does wake him up during the night. I dont know what to do... do u think we should start tonight ladies. I am so depressed and frustrated.

Please any advise will be much appreciated.

 

[polaris]

Hi ladies

After reading a few of your comments about the program, i have purchased it. However here is the issue we are going to Australia in 2 weeks, will be there for 3 weeks. We will be staying at 2 homes during the time, my mums and dads. I got in contact with Dana and she suggested we wait until we come back. This was last week. However in the last week, he wont sleep anywhere besides my arm. He falls completely asleep and as soon as i put him in the crib he wakes up. Im going mental and i hate to admit, im really losing it even times with frustrations im shaking him. I feel like a bad mum. I dont know what happens. I cant deal with the constant bf every 2 hours. Only way he sleeps is by nursing and sometimes he is soo sleepy he refuses me and then it becomes a game to get him to nurse.

On top of all that his eczema has gotten worse and i think that does wake him up during the night. I dont know what to do... do u think we should start tonight ladies. I am so depressed and frustrated.

Please any advise will be much appreciated.

It sounds like the situation is really stressing you out. If I was in your shoes I would definitely start the programme now for night time sleeps anyway. I found that it only took a few days for Thomas's night time sleep to improve dramatically (naps were another story). Thomas was four months when we started and he went from waking up every two hours or less throughout the night to only waking once or occasionally twice for a feed over a eleven or twelve hour period. Big difference. So hopefully you could get night time sleep pretty much sorted before you go. Yes it would be disrupted by the travel etc. but I actually think he might cope better with the trip if he can settle himself and it would be a lot easier on you too. However I would leave tackling naps until you get back from Australia, naps are much harder to crack and in my experience much more stressful. So I would allow him to sleep on you or in the pram or carseat or whatever works during the day but start working on night time sleep.

 

[Dilek]

Polaris thank you for the reply, that sounds like a lovely idea. I think him keeping me up during the night is the real problem i can handle the day. Again hope i didnt come across like a bad mum, we have just moved into a new area and it seems like everyday something is wrong and the to do list is getting longer and i cant tackle anything with LO being the way he has been. We had a good sleep last night, but i fell asleep on my nursing chair for 2 hours with him in my arms

It feels really good to get this off my chest and not feel like a failure.

 

[polaris]

You definitely didn't come across as a bad mum! Just exhausted and stressed out. Good luck with the sleepsense programme. The early days are tough but it really is worth it for all the family. My little boy is such a good sleeper now, he loves going to bed in the evenings, and I think that doing the sleepsense programme really helped with that.

 

[PetiteMoi]

Ok so we've had to pretty much start all over again, after teething and illnesses when I've allowed LO to half fall asleep on me and we've stroked her to sleep some nights. She no longer knows how to settle herself. Are we being too cruel by making her cry her little eyes out?? I can't remember her being this extremely upset before. Picking her up doesn't work, as it calms her down while she's in our arms but starts crying even more when we put her down again. Are we being cruel to her?? I need some reassurance I think... It seems so unfair she's having to go through this again!!!

 

[Toots]

Hi All,

I am on day 1 of the sleepsense programme and wondered if you good folk could give me the benefit of your experience?

We have a very lively 4 month old girl who had been a terrible sleeper from day 1. Just lately her refusal to nap reached an all time high to the point where she has been miserable for weeks now and I am exhausted. She still wakes 2 or 3 times a night to feed but that doesn bother me, as she appears genuinely hungry most times.

We started sleep sense today and already I am seeing benefits! totally amazed that she just went for her afternoon nap with only 5 minutes of crying and she had a lunchtime nap of 1 hr 15 mins! this is the same baby that has napped only in the car and only for a max of 30 mins for the last few weeks. I had been going out too much and had inadvertantly trained her to sleep in the car and she has become dependant on it.

This morning was tough with several bouts of crying for just over an hour, and I was in tears but I shall persist since I am seeing results already and I like being able to go in and comfort her frequently and as often as I like, as just leaving her seems too much to bear.

So my questions to you lovely people are:
How do you deal with going away and the short window you have in the day for doign activities?
We planned go away for a short break (2 hr drive, self catering accomodation) for 3 nights on weds, but am afraid it will disrupt the training. we will use the same cues, and try to stay on schedule, but there may be some disruption. will it all get ruined (bad timing to start I know but I was desperate and we had already booked our break).
Also, how do people manage with car journeys? She is bound to sleep in the car, even on shortish journeys, how do you stop them and if they do, does it ruin the programme?
Do people manage to do any activities if they have to be at home every 2 hours for naps? I am a very out and about kind of person and will find this hard I think.
Thanks all in anticipation
Toots

 

[polaris]

Hi Toots, congratulations on making a start and I hope you continue to see good results.

In answer to your questions, I did find that I tended to arrange the day around Thomas's naps when he was younger. But he didn't have all of his naps in the cot at that age. I normally made sure that he had at least two naps in the cot and the other nap would be out and about in the buggy. When he got older he stopped being able to sleep in the buggy so we just made sure we were home for naps. But he did get more flexible as he got older and could stay up a bit longer if necessary. Also he moved to only having two naps a day so it was a bit easier to plan around him. I did find it very hard when he could only stay awake for an hour and a half - I used to have everything ready to leave the house the second he woke up, go to whatever activity we were going to, then by the time it was finished he would be ready for another nap so I would let him sleep in the buggy on the way home. Alternatively I would allow him to nap in the buggy on the way there (in which case I normally took the long way round to allow him to have a decent length sleep). It definitely took planning but we went to lots of activities and I don't think I would have been able to enjoy going to activities if he was tired anyway.

In relation to going away, I used to worry a lot about disrupting his routine, but I actually never found it to be a problem. He always coped much better than I was expecting. I did try to keep to his schedule and his normal bedtime but his routine did get a bit disturbed by trips but it was never a problem at all. I know what you mean about not great timing when you are just starting out though. But it can't be helped.

Car journeys - we usually planned car journeys for when he should be napping and let him sleep in the car. But we didn't use the car much with him really, tend to walk everywhere. When he was younger the odd nap in the car didn't seem to make too much difference to his overall routine. It's still an issue trying to keep him awake in the car now though and now it definitely does affect his schedule if he has a power nap in the car he doesn't always want to take a proper nap at home and then is tired and cranky by early evening. But it has got easier to keep him awake in the car as he got older.

 

[Shwhattam+1]

hi ladies,

we just started sleep sense, and my 7 month old won't nap past 45 minutes. any advice?

 

[Foogirl]

hi ladies,

we just started sleep sense, and my 7 month old won't nap past 45 minutes. any advice?

Does your LO cry on waking? If so, do you think you could leave them for a few minutes to see what happens? Most will wake at 45 minutes (that's one sleep cycle) but will go back to sleep if you give them a chance. Obviously if they don't cry on waking it is easier to give them a chance to go back to sleep. If your LO is unsettled, go in and re-settle, the same way as you do when you start the nap. Give it a go for 15 minutes or so and if it doesn't work, get them up and try again at the next nap. Nap length WILL improve with time. Once they get the idea they can go back to sleep without any help, they will do so when waking at 45 minutes.

Naps are always a more challenging part of the process and will take longer to crack but you will get there.