Sleep Sense Support Group!

[TennisGal]

HG - enjoy the zoo. DD has got to the pure fascination stage with animals. The cats are v. wary of their tails ;-)

 

[aimee-lou]

HG - Not really. I think when we first started we were on 7 7oz bottles a day and he did start to drop the frequency of his feeds. I dropped his night feed for him (horrid mummy lol) which has worked well. He's now on 42oz a day so it's a negligable drop (3 x 8oz and 2 x 9oz). The main diffrence has been the frequency rather than the amount, he seems more capable of going longer in the day. He now goes a full 4 hours when before solids he was only going 3. This could of course havejust been a natural development rather than down to the weaning as as he's still having the same amount of milk....oh I don't know lol.

As for the chair....we now have a Newborn to toddler rocker. We have the portable one. They are quite big/bulky as they have a rigid plastic frame, but they have kickout feet so that they can't rock forwards like the non-portable ones have been known to do. Earl quite likes it but it's a bit too reclined for him so he has to have a cushion in it to prop him up but it gets used in just the same way as the bouncer used to. Mothercare stock them so if you want to go and look at one they should have one. Image below though....

https://www.cheekybrats.co.uk/bmz_cache/a/a8472b28caa9d7ee0e1faff3d76ecf77.image.175x193.jpg

 

[history_girls]

Thanks Aimee - Think it migh be too large for where I want it - it is just she can almost get herself out of the bumbo and I wanted something to sit on my ridculosly large window sill that I could sit her on.

Nap in full swing but a friend is due any minute to visit her so that will be a 20 min nap then!!!

 

[redpoppy]

Okay, so sorry to be cynical but i've just bought this and feel ripped off. Read the 3 to 6 months thing and feel I haven't learnt anything new.

It's basically telling me: put your baby down for a nap. If she cries, bear with it. She'll get over it after a few days.

It's hardly revolutionary. Sorry to sounds so negative but there are many cheaper books on shelves in bookshops that tell you the same thing.

Why the over enthusiasm for this method? It's basically "crying down" at the end of the day. Sorry for sounding annoyed but I feel I've spent £26 on a book that's not told me anything new.

 

[polaris]

Okay, so sorry to be cynical but i've just bought this and feel ripped off. Read the 3 to 6 months thing and feel I haven't learnt anything new.

It's basically telling me: put your baby down for a nap. If she cries, bear with it. She'll get over it after a few days.

It's hardly revolutionary. Sorry to sounds so negative but there are many cheaper books on shelves in bookshops that tell you the same thing.

Why the over enthusiasm for this method? It's basically "crying down" at the end of the day. Sorry for sounding annoyed but I feel I've spent £26 on a book that's not told me anything new.

I agree that the principles are nothing new and similar to other books. The only thing I can say is that it does work. I like the way that you are given step-by-step instructions of what to do whereas I found a lot of the other books are big on theory but not so good on practical advice. As I said we didn't change a huge amount from what we were already doing, just some small tweaks here and there, but the difference in Thomas's sleep has been phenomenal.

I would say to give it a go and see if it makes a difference to your LO's sleeping. If not, I think she has a six month money back satisfaction guarantee (would have to double check that though!)

 

[jacs]

Okay, so sorry to be cynical but i've just bought this and feel ripped off. Read the 3 to 6 months thing and feel I haven't learnt anything new.

It's basically telling me: put your baby down for a nap. If she cries, bear with it. She'll get over it after a few days.

It's hardly revolutionary. Sorry to sounds so negative but there are many cheaper books on shelves in bookshops that tell you the same thing.

Why the over enthusiasm for this method? It's basically "crying down" at the end of the day. Sorry for sounding annoyed but I feel I've spent £26 on a book that's not told me anything new.

I agree that the principles are nothing new and similar to other books. The only thing I can say is that it does work. I like the way that you are given step-by-step instructions of what to do whereas I found a lot of the other books are big on theory but not so good on practical advice. As I said we didn't change a huge amount from what we were already doing, just some small tweaks here and there, but the difference in Thomas's sleep has been phenomenal.

I would say to give it a go and see if it makes a difference to your LO's sleeping. If not, I think she has a six month money back satisfaction guarantee (would have to double check that though!)

I can only second what Polaris has said - the fact is, it really does work. To be honest I felt a bit like you at first, but I thought at least I can get a refund if need be.
I have the Baby Whisperer, Sleep Matters and God knows what else - none of it gave advice for different scenarios, e.g. what if they don't just fall asleep? What if they're ill?, What if they cry when I leave the room? It looks at parenting from a 'real-life' perspective, where each night isn't always as straightforward as the last. The video links were great for DH to watch, and ensured we were doing the same thing.
I was absolutely at the end of my tether, and tried everything, to the point where I had drafted in my HV to observe Evan and see if she could help.
The very first night of SS however - result!

 

[TennisGal]

I agree with Polaris and Jacs - I was highly, highly cynical...and quite worried. However, it works, and I liked the fact it does give the practical advice and not just the theory. I think there is a money back guarantee, as Polaris says...but maybe worth a try?

 

[redpoppy]

Thanks for the replies girls.

I just think I'm actually already doing what I can do and it seems like the stuff I've paid £26 for. I know how my baby cries when I leave her to sleep by herself in the day and I'm simply not willing to leave her to cry for up to an hour when she's this young. she screams as though I've tortured her and a little crying I could deal with but the programme is just a form of crying down mixed with controlled crying.

i'm glad its workign for you guys though.

 

[jacs]

Hi redpoppy,
You don't need to leave your LO at any point, in fact it says not to for the first few days. I certainly didn't - I was right next his cot the whole time, stroking his head and whispering to him. I also couldn't have walked away from his screaming.

The thing I kept telling myself was that it was my job to let him figure out how to sleep. Babies can do precious little for themselves, and I didn't want to stop him from having this one little bit of independence that he could have.
Yes, he screamed the place down on the first night, but then he did when we were rocking him to sleep as well. And now, there is barely any crying, ever, so I feel I have saved him from months of frustration at bed/nap time.

Why don't you give it a go for a few days, really sticking to it, as consistency is everything. Try and read as much of the book as you can, as there were bits in other sections I found useful, apart from the 3-6months section. It would be great if you could crack nap times, and we'd all love to keep up with how you are. Good luck

 

[jacs]

Aimee-lou and TG - lovvving the Michael McIntyre quotes, that man is hilarious. We wanted to get tickets when he was in Newcastle, but it was for the night Evan was due (he ended up being 3 weeks early as well)!

Aimee-lou - Evan won't sleep on anyone now either It makes me sad, I have to admit - feel a bit rejected! Are you moving? Sounds like you're v. busy.

TG - you've inspired me to be more creative with Evan's food! Must admit, it's usually jars with random bits thrown in, but he must be getting bored. Also, had a choking (not gagging!) incident the other day, and I haven't given him any finger foods since. Braved it today, and he managed some bread and cheese - I was TERRIFIED!

HG - aw, where does the time go? It feels like you'll be on maternity leave forever, but it just flies. Did you say you'd managed to get part time? Enjoy the zoo - Evan loves watching animals on TV, but was totally disinterested when he met a real horse!

 

[TennisGal]

Jacs how horrible. I'm not being very adventurous at all with finger foods, really, as I am so scared about choking. I'm trying to be a bit more brave! When HG said how much Phoebe was enjoying her food, I resolved to try a bit more. We'll probably go slowly, but will get a bit braver! I always have a puree somewhere in there. Another it must have been terrifying.

The rusks were a dreadful recipe - bread and marmite, basically! However, I've cooked up lots of different Karmel specials to offer with various bits and bobs. I can tell you pureed broccoli smells appalling. I've also been munching a bit too much sweet potato...

Sounds like I should be savouring these naps DD has on me? From what I read here...and generally...sounds like our LOs reach a point where we simply aren't very comfy anymore!! I do wonder if that's coming, because DD doesn't seem as rested when she naps on me.

Am exhausted today, it's all that feeding!

 

[TennisGal]

Red Poppy - agree with Jacs, we didn't leave DD at any point...we can't bear hearing her cry...but we knew she wasn't feeling abandoned, and was just strugging to get to sleep. We were all side by side through the whole process

 

[polaris]

Hi everyone!

We had a better day for naps today - got over an hour in the morning, almost two hours at lunchtime and then 45 minutes this afternoon. Thomas still seems very hungry though and he managed to get a couple of extra feeds in today - good going as he already normally feeds every two and a half hours!

Aimee-Lou - sounds like you are very busy at the moment. I can't imagine having to get organized to move house at the moment! I'm finding it difficult to think about packing to go down the country for a few days this weekend!

Jacs - Choking incident must have been so scary! Well done being brave and giving the bread and cheese today - I can imagine you were hovering in case anything happened though, so frightening!

TennisGal - yes Thomas will not nap on me at all now - hasn't wanted to for a long while really - it is quite sad - I wish I had treasured it more when he was young rather than panicking about how I was ever going to get him to sleep in the basket, LOL. I think as they get older they don't seem to sleep as well outside of their cots. I know Thomas is much more easily disturbed by noises etc. than when he was younger.

Historygirls - hope you had a good day at the zoo - and that the visit to the childminder went well. I find it hard to think about going back and feel very lucky that I don't have to go back until the beginning of October.

Redpoppy - when I read through the book first I thought it sounded like there would be a LOT of crying and I didn't think I would be able to do it. But there was MUCH less crying than I would have expected. In the end of the day though you have to do what you feel comfortable with. Do stick around the thread anyway if you want to, we would be happy to hear about how you are getting on.

 

[history_girls]

Evening ladies!!

OH did bedtime today and not a peep from her! Although she did try to instigate playtime when he put her down but he just gave her nunu and left!

Redpoppy - we were doing something similar but it was the support of knowing it was a staged withdrawal that was needed. As Jacs says you have to help them learn how to do it. I'd give it a go and if it doesn't work for you try something else!

TG - Don't worry if you arn't confident with finger foods I guess it comes with time. I was always going to do BLW and was so determined to do it when the useless dr said to put her on solids too early for my liking. I wanted to prove so much that giving her solids wouldn't solve the problem I gues I got pigheaded about it (much like me). Phoebe had sausage tonight (loved it and managed to get some in) and mashed potato which she refused point blank to eat. I'm having the opposite prob today!

Polaris sounds like Thomas has had my perfect day - sleeping, eating and a little bit of awake time!

Make the most of maternity leave ladies! It is so awful I can't think about monday. The childminder tomorrow should be interesting to see how she and I do - the zoo will be our reward! I will go part time in september in the new academic year. But I can't complain too much as I do get 13 weeks off a year (I do work in them though!)

Also the naps on me - LO doesn't do it anymore and it is all I want this week! or a bit of night waking for extra cuddles - she isn't obliging on that either!

 

[aimee-lou]

Evening all.....well Earlington is asleep, totally dead to the world. He has had a bit of a rough day with sleep (too much rather than too little) and we were totally caught out so he had to go to bed a touch later than normal, but judging by the fact that he was still asleep by 7.30 I don't think it's too much of a bad thing lol. I think we're learning a few more things...he's now reaching out when you put your hands out for pick him up, and is shouting if you ask him what up lol

Thanks for all the moving well-wishes. Yep, end of May. I could be totally nuts but we're moving in with the MIL lol. I get on really well with her, it's my own mother I'm not great with lol. I've not really started packing yet but I've written a good few lists as we're taking a van load of stuff down at the end of the month as she's got a massive garage that she's offered as storage! We're staying there until I can find a permanent job in Norwich (MIL lives near colchester) but until then I'm temping and hubby is a SAHD until his Uni course starts in September, then MIL is having Earl - that's if we're still there in September. It's all a little chaotic but sooooo worth it to give us all the life we want...I'm so excited! Just a little sad about leaving Earl, but he'll have a whale of a time with his Daddy I'm sure lol.

Redpoppy - I must admit to not actually bothering buying the text just yet, mainly becuase the bits and bobs I've already done are pretty much identical, and I just like the support in here, and the principles are agreeable. From what I can gather though, there's not CIO or CD involved....the whole point is that sleep is a non-traumatic thing and as such. From what I can see though the SS text is pretty much reassurance and to help you see if there is anything extra that you could be doing or doing differently. As Polaris said though, there's a money back guarantee that you can use if you're not happy. I hope that you can get some sleep soon.....Earl took about 4 weeks to really get the hand of sleeping on his own, and went from 1hour to get to sleep to 10 minutes. He has been known to oly take 2, but that's a rarity lol.

TG - those rusks sound foul....can't stand marmite lol. I agree about the brocolli though......worst one for me is carrot though. Turns my stomach now lol.

Jacs - sorry to hear about the choking incident. We had one involving some garlic bread a while ago and it was scary but he's never done anything near that again, and is already taking lumpy food like a pro....stage 2 jars etc. Actaully doesn't like things to be perfectly smooth now which is a pain considering the amount of puree's I have in the freezer at the moment. Trying to use them up now lol.

Right, best be off- loads to do incluidng a cake to get in the oven and a dog to bath.....at least it's hot dogs for tea!

Btw - TG - Love Micheal McIntyre and I too wanted to go and see him but Earl was due around that time too so we couldn't. Same deal with Joe Pasquale too!

One last quote....I love the bus story (hubby is a bus driver!) but I love the whole thing about the 'mini-sick' - gross but makes me spit my drink everywhere! lol. Hubby is the proud owner of 2 man drawers....he's a lucky man! lol. But my absolute favourite is the whole scottish money sketch he does!

'I think you'll find PAL, that that is Legal Tender!'

 

[TennisGal]

BnB went ka-boom RIGHT as I tried to post my (lengthy) update. Argh!

HG - thank you for your weaning updates, they honestly give me more confidence than the book! Sausage and mash!! That's amazing - you must be so pleased? We'll try some more finger foods tomorrow...and DD did some accidental BLW this evening. DH was having a pre-dinner snack of ice cream (quite random!) and DD decided to dunk both hands in, and before she could be stopped (she was on DHs knee, and he said it was in slow-mo, lol) she licked it all off. I had a mini-panic, as it has sugar AND cows milk, but DH said it couldn't have been more than a teaspoon...as it was just a bit of melted vanilla.
Keep on giving us updates, it really gives the BLW va-va-voom.

I hope all goes well with the childminder tomorrow, and have a lovely time at the zoo. Time just flies, doesn't it?

Aimee-Lou: it will definitely be alll worth it to get the life you want! Fab for Earl, too, to have time with Daddy and his Grandma...then lots of Mummy time, too. I bet your MIL is over the moon?
I'm not a fan of pureed carrot...mostly because it comes out looking like it did when it went in, hehe.
Good on Earl learning new things, too!

P - Excellent news on the naps! He's feeding like a boy with a developmental milestone approaching...so keep us updated. I wonder who'll break the night feed record this evening?!
DD gets a bit cross if her naps on me are disrupted - and sometimes it can get noisy (cat in chasing chicken incident recently got her v.annoyed) You are right, since she's been sleeping properly at night, she's more intent on having quality sleep...she has a bit less nap, but likes it to be good nap.

I'm loving the comedy quotes - I like Michael McI when he talks about five spice...'I am five spice, the best of all, because I am five spices in one. Used in dishes for thousands of years...'

Am beyond tired this evening...and am starving (despite having eaten dinner) Maybe I'll treat myself to a bowl of broccoli puree?!

 

[redpoppy]

So, I've decided to try it but I'm going to wait till another week or two to re-evaluate when to start. I know I can stay with her but that's what I do now and she screams and screams till I can't bear it.

Today she cried desperately because I took her out of the bath and she's been tending to do this for three days and its a struggle and it's part of her bedtime routine.

I've been fighting it with using a different room to get her ready/changed, and then "read" her a picture book (which I've just started doing) before takign her to our room to feed and then sleep.

Today I went back to doing it in the nursery and she WOULD not be consoled and I just feel I've got a right little stubborn madam on my hands. The only moment she calmed down was when after 13 minutes of trying various things and speaking to her reassuringly I decided to ignore her and "read" her the book.

Then I came downstairs (and gave her a tell off in a loving/cute/half pretend way) because i'd left her feed in the kitchen and she looked hopeful that we were doing something unexpected.

Then she got whingey in the bedroom before i stuck some infacol in her gob quickly and followed with a feed.

For thel ast two nights I've been massaging her head with baby oil to calm her down enough so she's calm when I put her down and luckily this is the second night she's gone down awake!

BUT the point is: She cries and screams and I'm there the whole time and I can't handle it. I'm sure she WILL be one of those babies who cries for over half an hour and it will be TRAUMATIC for me (and her!!!!) as I'm uncertain as to whether it's acceptable to let such a young baby cry for so long. I'm not one of those people who thinks controlled crying is unacceptable but at three and a half months letting my baby cry that long whether it's in my presence or not seems scary for me. I feel like I might be hurting her or changing her for the worse, like breaking her spirit or faith in me on some base subconscious level or something.

SO my plan of action is this: Establish a napping time routine by any means necessary (including having her nap ON me every nap all through the day) for one or two weeks.

For every nap I'll try putting her down ONCE (like I did today) and if she wakes crying I'll give in as I can't deal with her gettign more and more overtired. I'm going to figure out where I'll put her down. Probably in our bed and not in the cot as I've had more luck in the bed for some reason. Cot can come later.

Up until then I'm going to put up with baby crying as she has been and getting worse.

Then, after two weeks I'm going to see what happens. If her nap routine becomes more established maybe she'll be sleepier at those times and therefore fall asleep easier?

If not I'm either going to go for the crying battle that will ensue or wait till the 6 months mark which is when CC is okay.

I know this isn't strictly CC because you're there the whole time but I just feel that much crying and stress in a baby might do something... I odn't know what.. like affect her chemical balances or something.

 

[Foogirl]

I know this isn't strictly CC because you're there the whole time but I just feel that much crying and stress in a baby might do something... I odn't know what.. like affect her chemical balances or something.

I don't believe any of that is the case but I'm confused, isn't your baby crying anyway when you try to get her to sleep?

So what's the difference? By following sleepsense, that will continue but only for a short time, then once she has learned to settle herself she won't cry at all when you try to get her to sleep.

It's not so much about not leaving them, but what are you doing when you stay. On an earlier discussion, we all came to the conclusion that it may well be that sometimes parents get in the way of their baby falling asleep. Shusshing, patting or even just being there might be distracting or stimulating for her. Of course when you pick them up to put them on you to sleep, you tend to stop "soothing" which is why they sleep quickly. Certainly Abby was happier when we left her to it - and still is for the most part.

I also wouldn't hang about with starting. There will never be a "good" time if you aren't entirely happy. After whatever is stopping you now there will be the 4 month growth spurt, then the teething etc etc.

For us, starting at the point where she was 3 months meant we didn't have to deal with rolling over or standing up or breaking any deep rooted problems. At 3 months you can do the pick up / put down method which sounds like it will be more comfortable for you.

 

[history_girls]

Redpoppy - I was so convinced like you I had a screamer who wouldn't stop and one time it was about 90 mins at naptime which was so hard (I sobbed for about half of it). Yet about 3 weeks later I have a different baby. I started like you are just got her sleeping on me for most of her naps, yet for the last 3 days she has done it all herself and my house has never been so tidy! She never cries at nap time now and never at bedtime (even if it is daddy doing it or like last week when we were on holiday - she even went down in a different holiday house when we went to friends for dinner) and best of all last night she slept from 7pm to 5,50am with no feed, woke twice and did herself and once where I went in and gave her nunu back (she'd chucked him out of the cot the little minx). I was in there 30 secs max. However just do what is best for you.

So my second night in six months of not feeding! Wow! OH adapts quicker than I slept soolid from 10.30 to 5.40 whereas I was awake at 2, 4.30 etc.....

Right breakfast time me thinks and madam is farting away on the floor without her nappy off and I am nervous of explosions on the towel!

 

[maxbean]

Well ladies after posting the other night about being at the end my tether, I kept teling my LO that last night I'm afraid it was gonna be tough love to try and tackle it! Well he must ahve listened and thought stuff that, cos he slept from 7pm, settled himself, until 2.45am when he just gave a bit of a whimper for about 5mins so I went in and gave him his new comfort balnket, which he snuggled straight away and went straight back to sleep! He then woke again about 5:15am doing the same, so i repeated what i had doen earlier and sleep again!! Then he woke me up gurgling at 6:35am!!!! RESULT! I am probably being a little premature as it prob won't be the same, but I actually feel like a different person having had a nearly normal nights sleep!!!
Come on Max you can do it for a 2nd night!
Not sure if it has anything to do with it but yesterday Max did his naps to the letter! Slept for right amount of time and settled himself each time!