Sleep Sense Support Group!

[Bumpontherun]

Please help ladies, it just seems to have stopped working. Since the 2nd night of SS she has gone down quickly after night feeds with little or no crying.

Tonight bedtime took 30 mins of crying. She had had neurofen pre bath and was definitely tired. She woke around midnight for a feed and then cried for 10 mins, I gave some calpol and have been sitting with her for 30 mins, she may have just dropped off now.

It all seems to be going backwards. Has anybody else had this- good results then regression? Could it be because I let her in our bed last night? I don't know where to turn if Ss doesn't work...... I've read the section on teething but Dana is not very sympathetic and just says to try and carry on, she's been teething throughout the whole process so I'm not sure whether it's related.

 

[MissTanya]

I feel a little guilty trying to train her to sleep as I really didn't mind rocking her to sleep and I don't feel like I'm so sleep-deprived I'm not being a good mom. Most posts I read have said people use sleep training as a last resort once the poor sleep habits are interfereing with the child/family happiness. And I don't feel like her sleep habits are - she's very happy and so are DH and I. Really we're just doing this since the pediatrician said it's best for her to know how to self-settle for the future, and she said it's easiest to do it now. I guess in my head I know it's good for her, but in my heart it hurts since we didn't really have any problems (yet). It has been going really well for the two nights we've tried, but the daytime naps are really doing a number on my psyche. Also today is Mother's Day here, so I feel like a crap mom when I just sat for one hour beside my baby's crib while she cried off and on. Anyone else, or am I just oversensitive?

Hey! Don't feel guilty - feel proud!!! I think sleep training is something every parent should give some consideration to. Some people are lucky and never have problems, but many others do encounter problems at some stage in the early years and probably wish they had of started earlier. You are right, it should be easier to train now - otherwise it could be twice as hard once habbits set in.

Oh yeah...wanted to ask...are you in Australia??

 

[MissTanya]

It has taken me ages, but i have just finished reading the 26 pages of the original thread! Lots of useful into in there and lots of positive stories/results from implementing Sleepsense too!

I have also read the correct book by Dana now...and yesterday started making small changes to the way we do things. Already I have seen a massive, massive improvement!! Also, last night we did not have the usual 5hr battle with Oliver to go to sleep - he went down with no problems at all!! A-MAZING!

Afternoon naps have also improved. Dana's process seems so simple and logical when you finally read/implement it!

I hope I haven't counted my chickens too early though...tonight will tell if we are actually making a difference of if last night was just a one off. Fingers crossed it wasn't

 

[jacs]

Please help ladies, it just seems to have stopped working. Since the 2nd night of SS she has gone down quickly after night feeds with little or no crying.

Tonight bedtime took 30 mins of crying. She had had neurofen pre bath and was definitely tired. She woke around midnight for a feed and then cried for 10 mins, I gave some calpol and have been sitting with her for 30 mins, she may have just dropped off now.

It all seems to be going backwards. Has anybody else had this- good results then regression? Could it be because I let her in our bed last night? I don't know where to turn if Ss doesn't work...... I've read the section on teething but Dana is not very sympathetic and just says to try and carry on, she's been teething throughout the whole process so I'm not sure whether it's related.

Hey,
It's frustrating when it's been going so well, isn't it?
We've definitely had stages of shocking bed/nap times, but luckily, they have only been stages. Sometimes I'm sure Evan tests the waters with us, to see if we're going to stick with it!
We have teething now too (got a sharp little bit of one poking through!), and have had some unsettled times recently. All I can suggest is sticking with your plan as rigidly as possible, so that she doesn't get out of her good habits. One night in your bed won't do much damage, I wouldn't worry.

Well, as mentioned, we've had a strange few days. Evan has now dropped his last nap of the day, and it has taken ALOT of crying to get us there. The problem is, he still shows sleepy signs, but SCREAMS the place down when I put him to bed. When I get him up, lo and behold, he's not tired any more, and lasts until bed time! If I don't put him down for the nap (knowing he won't sleep), he just gets more and more miserable! Really strange going from brilliant sleeping, to this!
So we definitely have a tooth, which isn't helping, I'm sure. His gum looks like it has an ulcer on it, but there'e a definite sharp bit in the middle. Funny, this tooth has been anticipated for such a long time, but now I'm a bit sad that he won't have his gummy little mouth for long

Hope you're all OK, I've got a lot of catching up to do on here!

 

[Foogirl]

It all seems to be going backwards. Has anybody else had this- good results then regression? Could it be because I let her in our bed last night? I don't know where to turn if Ss doesn't work...... I've read the section on teething but Dana is not very sympathetic and just says to try and carry on, she's been teething throughout the whole process so I'm not sure whether it's related.

We're 8 months into SS and this has happened to us the past couple of days.

I think she is a bit poorly but isn't showing many signs other than a cough and a wee sniffle. She woke in a tizzy last night and cried 20 minutes after we put her down tonight. I'm just sticking with it as much as possible, but if she needs a cuddle she gets one!

Don't think taking her into bed one night will undo all your hard work. If she's feeling a bit off, it might disrupt her sleep a bit, but just carry on with the settling methods as far as you can. Just be aware that, if she is poorly for a week and gets into your bed every night, you might find it really has put you back a step or 3.

I think Dana's point about teething is that it isn't actually all that common for sleep to be regulalry disturbed with teething - but often parents of babies who aren't particularly good sleepers will assume the teething is the problem. If your LO is getting good sleep they generally deal with teething more easily. She also said something about many parents using teething as a reason not to start the programme and she wondered why they would do that as teething can last for a couple of years!

Certainly Abby's teeth haven't bothered her all that much at all.

 

[TennisGal]

Bump We've had nights - and naps - like that, don't worry. Some for no reason whatsoever, but I've realised that some nights I just can't get to sleep, either, and I figure DD must have similar nights

I think it's a learning curve for all of us - but I definitely don't think it's because she was in bed with you. We've had times where SS rules have been tweaked, bent and broken...but roughly sticking to the same routine means that it generally works well...with those curve balls thrown in. Don't worry - cyber sending you big bar of choccie.

Jacs - SO EXCITING! A TOOOOOTH! Keep us updated! How is he doing with the development?? He may not have a fully gummy mouth...but that little peg is going to looks so cute

FG - Hope Abby is ok is she sleeping through the night?

DD woke twice for a feed last night, and was ravenous...I think it's because she had a busy ole weekend! She had two great naps today, so hopefully we're back in the groove She's spent a large part of the day harrassing boy-cat, which has amused me endlessly!

 

[polaris]

Hii everyone. Still no Internet, grrrr. Have spent most of the day on the phone trying to sort it and typing letters of complaint on the iPhone which was not much fun. Apparently it could be another ten working days before it's resolved- I really hope not! Although on the positive side I have a lot more time for other things now I can't use the Internet most of the day.

Bump, I would say it might be just a blip. We have had the odd night like that where Thomas just won't settle and I don't know why. It's so upsetting when it happens because it does feel like a step backwards but I've always found that things get back on track pretty quickly. I have noticed that we seem to have difficulties after I let him nap on me but he only wants to nap on me if he is a bit off form anyway so not sure which comes first if you know what I mean.

Last night it took Thomas an hour to settle after his night feed which never happens so I have no idea what that was about but am really hoping it was a once off.

Tennisgal, you were asking how many breast feeds Thomas is having now, normally either four or five during the day and then one night feed. I think it is normal for them to drop down to four feeds at this stage so please stop worrying!!

I am so useless that I can't remember anything else and I can't review the thread on this bloody phone.

Hope all is well with everyone else: cattia, historygirls, jacs, piemistress, poppy, polo, Hivechild, all the new people and everyone else I've missed.

 

[Cattia]

Hey girls!

Is it really sad that whilst I was on holiday with no internet access I was wondering how you were all doing? I think I spend too much time on this thread!

Well, I just managed to read through the 7 or so pages that I missed over the weekend, but I am not sure I can remember who said exactly what so forgive me if I get it mixed up!

Welcome to the newcomers! I hope you have some good results. It is up and down and takes a while.

Cutie - naps are hard hard hard! It has taken us about 6 weeks, but now we are (touch wood) more or less there, and I can usually put her down in her cot and she will settle without too much fuss, and very little crying. It took a long time and a lot of work to get there, and she still doesn't do long naps, although I have tired to lengthen them, but without success. I usually leave a nap for 20 minutes and if it isn't happening then I get her up again and try again later. If it is the last nap of the day, then I make sure she has it whatever, so if she doesn't settle I will take her straight out in the pram, otherwise bedtimes never go well.

Miss T - sounds like you might have had a hard time on baby club? It can get vicious there sometimtes! I remember when my LO was 9 weeks, she would not settle at all in the evening. It wasn't until I read about cluster feeding that I understood that she just wanted to feed the whole time - I was only feeding her once every couple of hours and she was not settling until 12 - 1am most nights. It was so exhausting. After that I just fed her as much as she wanted, it was not long until she stopped cluster feeding and started to get tired earlier. It's hard when they are that little but it does get easier. I remember Foogirl giving me some really good advice (I bet FG you don't even remember!) She said to establish a bedtime routine at the time that you would like bedtime to be, and then just keep going with the cluster feeding, but in a 'nightime' sort of atmosphere, upstairs with the lights dim etc. It really worked for us. I felt a bit stupid at first, having a bath and bed routine at 7pm when I knew she would not sleep until 12, but as the feeding in the evening got less, her bedtime got earlier and having the routine in place was a really useful cue. I didn't know about SS at that stage but we were already doing our own version of it, letting her cry but going in and soothing her every few minutes. We go to that stage on our own by about 8-9 weeks when I realised that me picking her up and trying to settle her was making her worse.

TG- so glad to hear the thumb is better - and well done to LO for doing so well at the family lunch! Glad you enjoyed your glass of wine too!

Jacs - I have that that happen a few times with Abigail too, although I think she is too young to drop her last nap - she gets really overtired, then won't sleep, but for some reason acts like she has had a sleep when she gets up, even though she has worked herself into a state Weird!

Polaris - hope you're back with us soon - we miss you!

Bump - It does sound as though teething could be the problem. I really hope LO feels better soon. Your LO has learned a lot already so don't worry about a few bad nights, all the learning she has done will still be there.

Poppy - sorry to hear that Elliot was poorly - but so glad he is feeling better already. Lots of cuddles is good

Sorry if I have forgotten people!

Well, we had a lovely holiday in Devon, despite the weather! Abigail did soooo well! We were staying in a caravan with my parents, and the rooms were so small that we could not fit the travel cot in with us so she had her own room for the first time! She was very near to us, we had her door and ours open and I could see her so it was not too bad. She did get out of her routine as there were two nights when we didn't find somewhere to eat until about 6pm (which is normally when her routine starts) so she was up later than usual. She napped late, and I was really worried that it would affect her sleep, but she went down OK. On the first night she went down at 9pm (she usually goes at 7pm) and she went straight to sleep and only woke once for a feed! the second night she went down at 8pm and woke up twice, although I think I could have left her the first time but I was worried she would wake up my mum and dad (not that they would have minded but I felt bad).

She has done so well, we spent a lot of time out and about so she didn't really get to play as much as normal,she was in the car seat and the pushchair a lot, but she did really well and lots of people said how good and how cheerful she is! She has a cold too, but she's doing OK. I hope she will be well enough for her swiming tomorrow.

OH has gone out for the evening, so I should be getting my sleep in but I can't stop watching news 24 - I am addicted to the election!

On a down note I am feeling really pooooooo this evening about going back to work. Our holiday was the last big thing we had planned before I go back and we have been looking forward to it for ages, it was such a lovely time, but now it is over work seems to be the next thing on the horizon
It is still 6 weeks which I know is a long time, but I've had almost 7 months off and it has gone so fast I know I should not complain because I am only going back 3 days a week for 3 weeks then it is the summer holiday (I am a teacher) but I am just dreading it, honestly, I have no idea how I will manage to get in the car on that first day back and get myself into the building, let alone stay there all day. I want to cry just thinking about it I hope it won't be as bad as I think it is going to be.

Sorry, that was OT but just had to share. Hope you are all in for a good night

ETA: I have just seen how ridiculously long that post is! Well done if you managed to read it all.

 

[jacs]

Hey Polaris! Don't know when you'll get to read this, but great to see you! Phone and internet companies are the pits, I've had nothing but trouble with them myself, in the past. How's the weaning going? It's strange seeing Thomas as '6 months' on your ticker - how did that happen so fast?!

TG- glad you're having great naps (well, LO is, you know what I mean!). Yes, it is confirmed, there is a tooth! Nothing there this morning, but there's a definite little jaggy bit now. He chewed on one of his board books earlier, and there were lots of little pin-pricks left behind!

 

[Bumpontherun]

Thanks so much everyone My last post was written on my iphone sitting shivering on the rug outside Helen's bedroom door (I'd left the room as a last resort), she went to sleep as I was writing it It's so funny that after a set back then something good happens. She woke for a feed at 5:30, I fed her and dozed off twice sitting upright holding her. I was so depressed at the thought of starting my day at 5:50 but was pretty certain that she wouldn't go back to sleep. Then I remembered the SS rule that you decide when you get up for the day and she should be in the cot til then so I steeled myself and put her back down promising I would get her up by 6:30 at the absolute latest if she didn't settle. She was asleep in 3 mins and slept til almost 7:30 then woke up smiling rather than grumping.

We had a SS morning nap where she settled in less than 10 mins and the rest of her naps were in the pram today as we went for a 5 mile walk with my antenatal class. Tonight she settled in about 10 mins with fairly minimal grumbling.

Fingers crossed for a good night - we have our first swimming lesson tomorrow.

Thank you so much for all your support.

Polaris - nice to see you back, hope you get your internet sorted eventually
TG - hope your LO sleeps through tonight.
Foogirl - I think I know what you mean about the teething. I don't really think it has affected things much but Helen was really dribbly and chewy the day before yesterday and the crying she was doing was distressed rather than gumbly so I think I was right to not force her to self settle. It's so hard though, especially when you are tired and alone. I hope Abby is back to her normal fantastic sleeping self soon.

Jacs - I know exactly what you mean. I was excited about Helen's teeth but I'm really sad that the gummy smile has gone forever Hope the tooth stops bothering Evan soon.

Good luck for tonight new people!

 

[TennisGal]

Polaris Thank you! Me and my fretting Hope that net gets fixed asap!! Ten working days?!?! Hope Thomas settles well tonight...and that all is well. Is weaning going well? Any fun stories?

Cattia SO glad you had a lovely holiday...sounds like Abigail did wonderfully! What a little star Hope her cold goes asap.
I know, how quickly does Mat Leave go? I've got a while longer...but I keep wondering if I could just bring DD in with me...Just keep in mind those lovely, long holidays

 

[TennisGal]

He chewed on one of his board books earlier, and there were lots of little pin-pricks left behind!

Too cute!

 

[history_girls]

So many posts in 24 hours I can't keep up!

Polaris - hope your back soon!

Cattia you will need them to be honest, but This is week four of being back full time and I am a well oiled organising machine. The first night I had lists of everything I had to do - i don't now. The first week I sobbed every evening to OH and begged not to go to work but we don't have a choice I have to work. To be honest school is so busy you will be fine when you are there - I've never had tears there. The worse bits are driving to and from school without LO - lots of tears here. That is when I feel so guilty and resentful of those who stay home. Yet now we are on proper CM I'm so much happier and more settled. The sad thing is I've got used to it and so has LO. But she comes home every evening happy and that is all that matters. We make sure that her morning and eve routine is the same even at the weekend. That way she has consistency. You will get there. Don't dwell on it and miss the last few weeks. I dreaded our hols as they were the week before I went back and I regret that now. Put it out of your mind until you have to. The thinking is just as bad as going back.

Right a question sleepsensers.....

what do you do when they wake between 5am and 5.30?

Lo has done this 5 days in a row. I don't want her up until 6.30 as she is then much chirpier during the day. The thing is she is happily awake but I worry she needs more sleep for a day with the CM.

Things I've tried:

Dummy
In with me (worked but a habit i don't want to keep - emergency only!)
Music on baby monitor
Despatching OH to be a Phoebe cushion.

I'm not sure she will resettle with the SS method as by the time I've done that it will be time to get up. stupid work. it wouldn't matter if we didn't have to leave.

Hope we are all well and big hellos and sleepy dust to everyone!

 

[TennisGal]

HG - DD was doing this for a good while, she now has a feed and naps again. Does Phoebe have a feed when she wakes up?

 

[history_girls]

No she doesn't and isn't really hungry I don't think as when we get up she plays for 20 mins then only has 3/4 of a bottle. I could try a feed at the weekend. I just worry on a work day if I feed her she might sleep too long! or only take a little bit

 

[TennisGal]

See your point! What happens if she's resettled? Just chats away to herself? Have you got a light show projector? They can sometimes help...!

 

[jacs]

Cattia - sounds like a fab hol, and well done little Abigail!! Glad to know I'm not the only one with bizarre afternoon naps - sometimes I think I imagined that he was falling asleep in his highchair!

Bump - success! Well done, it always seems like the world's going to end when you're in the thick of it!

HG - I will be watching eagerly for an answer - I feel like I've tried everything too! Ooh TG we have one of those projectors, but I've never used it (hand me down from a friend pre-SS, and I didn't want to keep Evan awake more than he already was!).

 

[history_girls]

Thanks TG. The most succsseful thing at the moment is the OH cushion and she goes back to sleep for an hour but only lightly.

If i leave her she chats for about 20 mins to her feet and nunu but then starts shouting her only and favourite word - Dad - at the top of her voice until he appears before her. She is training him already.......

A dummy with teething gel helped the other morning as i think her teeth were playing her up.

Maybe she just wants to get up? but she gets so tired by 7.30....

 

[PieMistress]

All!

So many posts again in such a short space of time! I need to remember what to write now!

Well, last night was a PB for Kyle but everytime he's had a PB we've then taken 2 steps backwards! As he'd been up since 5am on Sunday he had loads of naps during the day (about 5hrs worth) but was asleep by 7.30pm. He woke up at 10:45pm so I knew it wasn't hunger. OH used SS for 30 mins (he was just really grizzling rather than full on crying) and he fell back asleep until 5AM !!!! He was happily gurgling away in his cot for about 15 minutes and I was swithering about what to do but really can't take these 5am wake ups so I went and fed him (even although he wasn't crying for a feed he hadn't had one since 6.30pm the previous night) and kept it dark and quiet. I then put him back in his cot and he was soooo awake I thought oh well, never mind another early start. But, nope he chatted to himself for about 15 mins then fell asleep!! We then had to get him up at 7.45am!!

For his first nap approx 2hrs later we also had a first - I was doing the wind down routine and had then put him in his cot (seemingly wide awake) cuddling his blankie. I turned around to close the black out blind and when I looked at him he was fast asleep with both arms held up in the air! So cute. He then slept for 2hrs (but then I took him into town for the afternoon and he didn't sleep at all from 11.30am until 3.30pm, I was expecting a meltdown but he was taking all the bright lights in - it's so hard to get him to sleep in his pram now).

I've probably jinxed it now though !!

history - you are doing so well being at work and being a mummy. I'm really dreading having to juggle the two when I go back in August. I feel your pain with the early wake ups and have set ours at 6.30am. From yesterday I said to OH that anything earlier will be treated as a night wakening (as this is the time he will be getting up when I go back to work). There is quite a lot of info on early wakening on the net that i'm having a read of and getting my head around. I'm not sure if it's worth trying the BW 'wake to sleep' suggestion (sounds mad doesn't it!)

polaris - Hi!!! Hope Thomas was just having a blip! We had a night like that recently with Kyle and it turned out he was teething but it really freaked us out a bit! How is the BLW going?

cattia - Well done to Abigail for doing so well with her sleeps in a different place and in a different bed! We are going on hols next month with 2 other couples and their babies so it should be interesting/chaos!! Those 3 days at work for 3 weeks = 9 days which will fly in past and your colleagues should hopefully help take your mind off missing Abigail. Then the whole summer off with her, it will be brilliant xx

jacs - is this his first tooth? Kyle has a sharp sort of crease on his bottom gum that I can sometimes feel when he is feeding. it keeps coming and going though and i'm very excited as to when it might appear! Although then I have to throw tooth cleaning into the equation!

bump - Hope you have a better night tonight. xx For us it is definitely a case of two steps forward, one step back. We have been doing SS for about 7 weeks now and as soon as we hit a good spell then it all goes to pot, then a good spell again and back to a bad one! I think they are going through so much in this early stage that there always seems to be something that can affect their sleep (or so I keep telling myself anyway!)

to everybody else! xox

Have also become a bit of an election junkie (not sure how/why as never been that interested in the past) and they are all at each other on Sky News!! Think I should switch off and put Desperate Housewives on instead!!

 

[TennisGal]

Did you see Alistair Campbell and Sky News man nearly come to blows?! Hilarious! EXCELLENT news on Kyle's PB! What a star

HG - love the new piccie of Phoebe. DD has started with Dada, too. No Mama forthcoming yet, so been telling DH it's her way of saying she wants him to get up early...and do the big nappies

Jacs - we used projector before SS...we don't use it for bedtimes anymore, but sometimes at the weekend / early mornings pop it on while we come round in a daze Does keep her amused for a wee while (and the 'wow' look is v.funny!)