Sleep Sense Support Group!

[PieMistress]

Hi All,

Well we survived taking Kyle to his first wedding today! It wasn't as bad as I thought it might have been. We had to take him out of the church a couple of times when he started grizzling but otherwise he was on good form and enjoyed all the singing and was quite mesmerised by the minister! OH & I had to eat in turn though for the meal as Kyle was getting over tired and restless but he didn't kick off or anything and was fine when we took him to a quieter place and sang to him/played with him.

He looked so cute though in his wee cords, shirt and waistcoat! Shame he possetted down it all though!!

Am knackered now though! Was worried about him going to sleep as he slept from 7.15 to 7.45pm on the drive home but we still gave him a bath, lullably, feed and bed. He spent about 20 mins talking to his blankie and has now fallen asleep!

Cutie - we found having a nap routine really helps Kyle know what's coming (that's not to say he likes napping but at least he knows what to expect!!). We spend about 15 or so mins on his wind-down which is reading a story, into sleeping bag (he usually cries when we do this), and then rocking and looking out the window whilst listening to disney lullabys (it's a lovely CD!), when I see his eyes start to lower he goes in his cot and they pop open again, he always grizzles at this point and he will then either self settle to nap or cry for a short while (I stay with him). I work to an approximate 2hrs awake time, if he's not down in his cot trying to sleep after being awake for 2hrs we will have a serious meltdown on our hands!

P - glad to hear the weaning is going well! I'm excited/nervous about starting but looking forward to it all (and am sure I will be on here with lots of Qs!)

TG - well done on the sleep!!! That's fantastic!! I could do with a night like that myself tonight as you could pack a suitcase in the bags under our eyes!!

to everybody! I'm relaxing now with a nice cold corona with slice of lime and it tastes so good!!!

xx

 

[MissTanya]

Hi Everyone

Haven't had a chance to read through this entire thread yet, but I wanted to say hi...and thanks to Hivechild & others who recommended I find you here. I am looking for some advice and help (after being slated for trying a version of Controlled Crying - I didn't realise that it wasn't suitable for a baby at the age of 2 months! ).

Weeks ago I bought the sleep sense book. Then I stumbled accross a thread and I noticed there was discussion about a different author. The book I have is by Megan Faure & Ann Richardson. Is that the same version of sleep sense that you are practising????

For three nights, we tried our own version of controlled crying. In a way, I think we were following sleep sense, except we found there is nothing we could do to settle him in his cot and when he got really worked up, picking him up seemed to make it worse. That is why we left the room on a number of occasions leaving him to cry for no longer than a 10min period (which is why I called it controlled crying).

My boy is 9 weeks old and we are having trouble getting him down of an evening. He self-settles well in the middle of the night and for his morning naps. But come evening, he gets so overtired because he fights sleep and refuses to go down.

We've gotten ourselves into a horrible cycle where it can be 5hrs or longer of trying to get him down. He will fall asleep on us after feeding, but when we put him down in his cot, he is awake and grizzling 5 mins later. Evenings have become - feed, fall alseep on us, put him down, he wakes and grizzles, we pick up. He stays awake for a while, then falls alseep on us, we put down again, again he almost instantly wakes. We then feed some more, he falls asleep, we put down and he is awake grizzling again. ect. This goes on until about 11pm when he will finally decide he will stay down.

I have tried giving him a dummy to help settle at night but it does not work. Have tried turning on his mobile and/or light show too, but does not work. We have tried patting him in his cot, keeping a hand on his chest, holding his hand, Shushing - pretty much everything we can think of. He will just work himself up and eventually start crying. He doesn't always stop crying when we pick him up either and the couple of nights we tried our version of 'controlled crying' we found he would cry harder and louder when we picked him up.

Please help me?

 

[TennisGal]

Fab news on the wedding!! I bet Kyle looked lovely in his outfit

Enjoy the corona...that sounds v.good.

 

[history_girls]

right eaten far too much chocolate now and think I just nodded off in the chair, but before I go to bed

Tg - what a fab night! Hope you get a repeat

Miss T - hello! Your LO is still really little - I can't even remember if LO slept at all at that age. I think I used to spend between 7pm and 10pm pacing the house with her. She just needed to be close. Sleep sense has a section for newborns - which i haven't read - might try tomorrow. My first thing would be to try and keep him awake during his feed, bright lights talking etc.. and try to put him down awake ish, sit with him until his asleep and then leave. My LO hates pu/pd too. Have you tried swaddling him? or using a sleeping bag? my LO would go down much more easily when in a sleeping bag on us as she was still cosy.

Sorry not much help - caffiene overdose! The rest of the gang on here will be far more coherent.

 

[TennisGal]

Miss Tanya, welcome and a big

The Sleep Sense we use is Dana Obelmann - as in: https://sleepsense.net/

We started SS when DD was five months, after getting worried we'd have an accident while she was sleeping on us...I was v.skeptical, but within a week...big difference!

Basically, the theory is giving your LO the same routine every night, and teaching them to sleep without props. You don't have to leave your LO to cry - which is what really appealed to us - we sat next to her cot, stroked her head (although she soon preferred us not to do that), sang, whispered. This way, our LOs never feel abandoned. The crying we experienced was more frustration at learning how to sleep without us as her beds!

I'm not sure how it works for a younger one, but am sure the principles are the same - the thing I REALLY like, is that the guide isn't theory...it gives practical steps, and this helped us stick to it, answered our questions...actually made it useful.

DD never liked the pick up/put down either, always made her cross.

Don't worry about CC - you clearly love your LO lots and lots, and are just trying to find the best for him

 

[TennisGal]

Miss T - just had a quick scan of the material for 0-3mths before DH and I finish our film...! There are big sections on night feeds, setting up routines, establishing night/day, naps and bedtime in the same place. Will try and look in more detail tomo, I've not read it all as DD started at 5 mths. I think there are some mama's on here who started earlier.

This place is great for questions and support, so do stick around and ask, ask, ask!

HG Caffeine and sugar high, lol. I'm sending you a ripple...just to see what happens! Muahahahahaha

 

[cutie4evr01]

Do you all find that when your LO finally falls asleep after crying a long time, he/she is doing this whimper/hiccup in his/her sleep? I was getting very stressed with the CC during naps today, so during the last nap I sat beside her bed and talked to her softly and touched her occasionally, but she still cried, probably about 25-30 minutes of the 45 I was in her room. Now that she's asleep she is doing a strange whimper sound, like she's trying to catch her breath. Breaks my heart. Can you reassure me this really is best for her in the long run?

 

[history_girls]

Tg - no i can't accept your ripple! It would send me over the edge. I'm already rather excitable and have plucked oh's mono brow into a two singles brows!!!!! very pleased with myself but the sugar has gone to my head.

Miss T - wow just reading the thing in baby club! feel for you on that one.

Cutie - I'm weak on naps and give in and cuddle her to sleep. Or did before I had to go back to work (boo). but now she really is very good at naps - she got to big to be comfy on me!

 

[Foogirl]

Do you all find that when your LO finally falls asleep after crying a long time, he/she is doing this whimper/hiccup in his/her sleep? I was getting very stressed with the CC during naps today, so during the last nap I sat beside her bed and talked to her softly and touched her occasionally, but she still cried, probably about 25-30 minutes of the 45 I was in her room. Now that she's asleep she is doing a strange whimper sound, like she's trying to catch her breath. Breaks my heart. Can you reassure me this really is best for her in the long run?

It absolutely is. It will subside and very soon. SS does give the option of staying with them to calm/soothe them.

I know what you mean about it being heartbreaking. The other week at my parents, we put Abby to bed and came downstairs to have dinner. Her video monitor gets really bad interference in the kitchen so we left it in the living room. When we went back about 35 minutes later, she was asleep but doing that catchy breath thing. She had obviously been crying for a while. We had forgotten to turn the sound up on the monitor and hadn't heard her. She normally goes down without a peep and falls asleep really quickly so we didn't notice there was no sound coming through. I felt like the biggest shit in the world and wanted to go right back up there and pick her up and give her the biggest cuddle, but as she was spark out that would have been absolutely the wrong thing to do. I was wishing she would wake and cry again and I'd go right to her!

But you were with her, right there, and she knew that. And she will still love you in the morning! These first weeks aren't easy with the naps. But I promise, it will get better.

How are bedtimes going?

 

[Foogirl]

Hi Everyone

Haven't had a chance to read through this entire thread yet, but I wanted to say hi...and thanks to Hivechild & others who recommended I find you here. I am looking for some advice and help (after being slated for trying a version of Controlled Crying - I didn't realise that it wasn't suitable for a baby at the age of 2 months! ).

Weeks ago I bought the sleep sense book. Then I stumbled accross a thread and I noticed there was discussion about a different author. The book I have is by Megan Faure & Ann Richardson. Is that the same version of sleep sense that you are practising????

For three nights, we tried our own version of controlled crying. In a way, I think we were following sleep sense, except we found there is nothing we could do to settle him in his cot and when he got really worked up, picking him up seemed to make it worse. That is why we left the room on a number of occasions leaving him to cry for no longer than a 10min period (which is why I called it controlled crying).

My boy is 9 weeks old and we are having trouble getting him down of an evening. He self-settles well in the middle of the night and for his morning naps. But come evening, he gets so overtired because he fights sleep and refuses to go down.

We've gotten ourselves into a horrible cycle where it can be 5hrs or longer of trying to get him down. He will fall asleep on us after feeding, but when we put him down in his cot, he is awake and grizzling 5 mins later. Evenings have become - feed, fall alseep on us, put him down, he wakes and grizzles, we pick up. He stays awake for a while, then falls alseep on us, we put down again, again he almost instantly wakes. We then feed some more, he falls asleep, we put down and he is awake grizzling again. ect. This goes on until about 11pm when he will finally decide he will stay down.

I have tried giving him a dummy to help settle at night but it does not work. Have tried turning on his mobile and/or light show too, but does not work. We have tried patting him in his cot, keeping a hand on his chest, holding his hand, Shushing - pretty much everything we can think of. He will just work himself up and eventually start crying. He doesn't always stop crying when we pick him up either and the couple of nights we tried our version of 'controlled crying' we found he would cry harder and louder when we picked him up.

Please help me?

Did you get my PM?

 

[MissTanya]

Hi Foogirl! I sure did and I sent a reply.

Thanks to you too...I think you recommended this thread to me too. I am going to spend the next day or two starting from the beginning and working my way thru the entire thread...I am sure there will be lots of useful info in here and good to read of other's experiences.

 

[TennisGal]

MissT - ask any questions you have at any time, this thread is fab.

*sneaks some more choccie to HG*

 

[Poppy7]

Tonight I have a very poorly baby and am breaking all of the Sleep Sense rules (minus the dummy one). We will get back on track once Elliott is feeling better but for now he needs cuddles, drink and attention when he asks for it.

I hope you all have a better night than me.xx

 

[Foogirl]

Tonight I have a very poorly baby and am breaking all of the Sleep Sense rules (minus the dummy one). We will get back on track once Elliott is feeling better but for now he needs cuddles, drink and attention when he asks for it.

I hope you all have a better night than me.xx

I suggest you read chapter 8 of the book which deals with common problems, one of which is how to deal with a poorly baby.

(I was going to C&P but it doesn't work from Adobe)

Basically it advises sticking to the SS rules. If you want to stay with them to check on them, then stay in their room rather than taking them into your room. Give them the attention they need, of course, but try to keep them in the pattern as far as possible.

Of course, if you are only just at the beginning of the process, I can understand why you'd rather not put them through it. Just be aware that it may only take a couple of days until you find you have taken a step or three backwards!

 

[Poppy7]

Thanks Foogirl I was having a moment of panic as I have never heard Elliott as poorly as this. It was breaking my heart to hear him cry in so much discomfort. I have spoken to NHS Direct, he has calmed down and I have given him some Nurofen so will be putting him back in his cot shortly (he is still in our room).

Sorry if I sound so rubbish with SS at times. It's just this is a big step for us. Thanks for your advice and support.xx

 

[Foogirl]

Thanks Foogirl I was having a moment of panic as I have never heard Elliott as poorly as this. It was breaking my heart to hear him cry in so much discomfort. I have spoken to NHS Direct, he has calmed down and I have given him some Nurofen so will be putting him back in his cot shortly (he is still in our room).

Sorry if I sound so rubbish with SS at times. It's just this is a big step for us. Thanks for your advice and support.xx

Not rubbish with it at all. Hey, you had a dummy to give up - you get heaps of respect for sticking with that one!!

It is always hard when SS just doesn't seem to fit. It's happened a lot with us. Thankfully now it is a lot easier to modify things, but in the early days it was a nightmare and we just had to find a way round it.

 

[hivechild]

MissT, just quickly as I'm in the middle of feeding the monkey for bed... when you start SS with your LO, I would advise doing your best to ensure that day he naps well and then have his routine for sleep time finished up and be ready to try putting him down in his cot around 45-60 mins from when he woke from his last nap.

I know it doesn't seem like much time but I can't stress how much harder it will be for both of you if he is overtired before you even begin, and it is quite probable in the beginning that he may fight sleep and end up overtired by the time he finally falls asleep, but you want to give him the best possible chance for success.

Also, don't stress about bed times at this point. If he naps from 4-6pm, try to put him to bed for 7 and even if he only sleeps until 11-12, that's a success in my books, even until 10. If the next night he naps until 8, put him down for 9pm. He will work out a rhythm and timing will fall into place on its own. anything around 3hrs of sleep in one stretch using SS to put him down at night I counted as success in those early weeks. Give him time and don't feel pressured that he should be sleeping this long or that long and just focus on him going to sleep rather than on how long he sleeps for.

 

[history_girls]

Poppy - I must admit when lo is poorly I do whatever she wants. If she wants cuddles she gets them. I hope you night was ok and you all got a bit of sleep. What would we do without nhs direct? great for advice i think.

Our night was fab - slept through until 5.50 - i then gave her her dummy and got another hour out of her - I'm so lazy....

Miss T - enjoy your reading of the group - you will see we do wander off topic a lot.

right madam has just stuck the lounge out, better go....

 

[MissTanya]

MissT, just quickly as I'm in the middle of feeding the monkey for bed... when you start SS with your LO, I would advise doing your best to ensure that day he naps well and then have his routine for sleep time finished up and be ready to try putting him down in his cot around 45-60 mins from when he woke from his last nap.

I know it doesn't seem like much time but I can't stress how much harder it will be for both of you if he is overtired before you even begin, and it is quite probable in the beginning that he may fight sleep and end up overtired by the time he finally falls asleep, but you want to give him the best possible chance for success.

Also, don't stress about bed times at this point. If he naps from 4-6pm, try to put him to bed for 7 and even if he only sleeps until 11-12, that's a success in my books, even until 10. If the next night he naps until 8, put him down for 9pm. He will work out a rhythm and timing will fall into place on its own. anything around 3hrs of sleep in one stretch using SS to put him down at night I counted as success in those early weeks. Give him time and don't feel pressured that he should be sleeping this long or that long and just focus on him going to sleep rather than on how long he sleeps for.

Thanks Hivechild!
Actually, we did do that last night. He normally doesn't have much sleeps in the afternoon (again he fights them at that time of day). But yesterday he had a good 3hr sleep as we were out and about in the pram. When we got him home, we did his routine and had him fast alseep in his cot 1.5hr later.

Only thing is....

He woke up after 45mins. So I bought him out thinking he would be up for the next few hours. Within 15min he had fallen asleep on me. I let him stay like that for 30mins before putting him back in his cot. So...he must have just had trouble linking his sleep cycles.

But he was only in his cot for 10min before he was awake again. Then we spent the next 4-5hours in that horrible routine of him upset and not settling, of picking him up and trying to put him back down when he was calmer. And of him screaming whether it was in his cot or in our arms. A couple of times we did get him down and asleep...but only to have him wake 5mins later and for it all to start again. In the end, I think hubby got him down at 12:30am.

I don;t know why he gets so upset in the evenings. We started to think maybe it was colic because neither of us could calm him. But then we discovered if we went back to our old routine of taking him out into the lounge room (rather than trying to calm him in his bedroom) and went about or normal activities, it distracted him and the crying stopped.

Am very confused about what to do!

 

[polo_princess]

ladies, another great night for us, now 4 in a row that Brooke has slept through

Poppy, hope Elliott is feeling better soon

Well done on a fab night HG