Sleepover privileges for my 15 y/o and her bf?

[Natsku]

its just the way you wrote it hun.

if she was as responsible and mature as you claim she is

it comes across as rude.

yes she might not be using condoms but she is religiously using her pill.. which is a heck of a lot more than what 90% of teenagers would be using. We don't all know who our partners have been with or if they would cheat on us but not all adults use condoms.. we run the same risks yet we see ourselves as being responsible and mature. This is exactly the same in my eyes.

Just because some adults don't take birth control seriously, doesn't mean it's ok for teenagers to do the same. The biggest difference is, adults are better equipped, certainly emotionally, to deal with the consequences of STI and unplanned pregnancy.

But the same is true for everyone, no matter what the age, if you can't use the word condom, you shouldn't be having sex with the person you are with.

Now I agree with you absolutely about the condom thing, but I'd like to point out that countries like the UK and US, who have a more prevalent attitude that teens shouldn't and must not have sex, have a much higher teen pregnancy rate than countries that are much more relaxed about the whole thing. The idea might be good but it doesn't work unfortunately (statistically speaking, obviously in individual cases it can work but on a whole it doesn't).

I think there are a lot of complex issues which lead to our high teenage pregnancy rate. There have been many different initiatives we have tried which emulate those in countries with a lower rate of teen pregnancy, and it hasn't worked, in fact rates went up. Just like we haven't been able to reduce binge drinking by introducing continental drinking rules. The issue is with society's general attitude to both. The excesses of binge drinking and casual sex are part of our culture for adults and tinkering around with initiatives for teenagers isn't working. I haven't got the figures but I suspect our unwanted pregnancy rates for adults are probably the highest too. I believe that the best way we can address it is to lead by example. It's likely I don't drink to excess because my parents were never drunk in our home. And their attitude to sex being something adults do in a loving relationship has stayed with me too. I don't think it is as simple as introducing them to it at an early age.

Casual sex is, I think, even more accepted in the culture here than in the UK, its not considered a big deal at all by most people yet the teen pregnancy rate is so much lower (don't know about the rate of unwanted pregnancies for adults but considered the low rate for teens I'd expect similar for adults) so I really don't think having an open attitude towards casual sex is a problem (in regards to this issue)

I do agree that leading by example is good though, especially in regards to drinking (binge drinking is a huge issue here too) but its not right to put drinking and sex in the same category - sex, when practised safely, is healthy and important whereas anything beyond very moderate drinking is unhealthy and unnecessary- they just can't and shouldn't be treated the same.

 

[NoodleSnack]

The evidence from the US is quite clear that "abstinence only education" led to more unprotected sex compared to comprehensive sexuality education.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3194801/

 

[NoodleSnack]

its just the way you wrote it hun.

if she was as responsible and mature as you claim she is

it comes across as rude.

yes she might not be using condoms but she is religiously using her pill.. which is a heck of a lot more than what 90% of teenagers would be using. We don't all know who our partners have been with or if they would cheat on us but not all adults use condoms.. we run the same risks yet we see ourselves as being responsible and mature. This is exactly the same in my eyes.

Just because some adults don't take birth control seriously, doesn't mean it's ok for teenagers to do the same. The biggest difference is, adults are better equipped, certainly emotionally, to deal with the consequences of STI and unplanned pregnancy.

But the same is true for everyone, no matter what the age, if you can't use the word condom, you shouldn't be having sex with the person you are with.

Now I agree with you absolutely about the condom thing, but I'd like to point out that countries like the UK and US, who have a more prevalent attitude that teens shouldn't and must not have sex, have a much higher teen pregnancy rate than countries that are much more relaxed about the whole thing. The idea might be good but it doesn't work unfortunately (statistically speaking, obviously in individual cases it can work but on a whole it doesn't).

I think there are a lot of complex issues which lead to our high teenage pregnancy rate. There have been many different initiatives we have tried which emulate those in countries with a lower rate of teen pregnancy, and it hasn't worked, in fact rates went up. Just like we haven't been able to reduce binge drinking by introducing continental drinking rules. The issue is with society's general attitude to both. The excesses of binge drinking and casual sex are part of our culture for adults and tinkering around with initiatives for teenagers isn't working. I haven't got the figures but I suspect our unwanted pregnancy rates for adults are probably the highest too. I believe that the best way we can address it is to lead by example. It's likely I don't drink to excess because my parents were never drunk in our home. And their attitude to sex being something adults do in a loving relationship has stayed with me too. I don't think it is as simple as introducing them to it at an early age.

Casual sex is, I think, even more accepted in the culture here than in the UK, its not considered a big deal at all by most people yet the teen pregnancy rate is so much lower (don't know about the rate of unwanted pregnancies for adults but considered the low rate for teens I'd expect similar for adults) so I really don't think having an open attitude towards casual sex is a problem (in regards to this issue)

I do agree that leading by example is good though, especially in regards to drinking (binge drinking is a huge issue here too) but its not right to put drinking and sex in the same category - sex, when practised safely, is healthy and important whereas anything beyond very moderate drinking is unhealthy and unnecessary- they just can't and shouldn't be treated the same.

I think the bigger catch here is: how do you model not having sex when most of us do have sex and teenagers know we have sex.

It's the parameters around having sex that's important. Things like being emotionally ready, choosing the partner wisely and using protection. All of which OP seems to have covered with her daughter.

 

[Natsku]

its just the way you wrote it hun.

if she was as responsible and mature as you claim she is

it comes across as rude.

yes she might not be using condoms but she is religiously using her pill.. which is a heck of a lot more than what 90% of teenagers would be using. We don't all know who our partners have been with or if they would cheat on us but not all adults use condoms.. we run the same risks yet we see ourselves as being responsible and mature. This is exactly the same in my eyes.

Just because some adults don't take birth control seriously, doesn't mean it's ok for teenagers to do the same. The biggest difference is, adults are better equipped, certainly emotionally, to deal with the consequences of STI and unplanned pregnancy.

But the same is true for everyone, no matter what the age, if you can't use the word condom, you shouldn't be having sex with the person you are with.

Now I agree with you absolutely about the condom thing, but I'd like to point out that countries like the UK and US, who have a more prevalent attitude that teens shouldn't and must not have sex, have a much higher teen pregnancy rate than countries that are much more relaxed about the whole thing. The idea might be good but it doesn't work unfortunately (statistically speaking, obviously in individual cases it can work but on a whole it doesn't).

I think there are a lot of complex issues which lead to our high teenage pregnancy rate. There have been many different initiatives we have tried which emulate those in countries with a lower rate of teen pregnancy, and it hasn't worked, in fact rates went up. Just like we haven't been able to reduce binge drinking by introducing continental drinking rules. The issue is with society's general attitude to both. The excesses of binge drinking and casual sex are part of our culture for adults and tinkering around with initiatives for teenagers isn't working. I haven't got the figures but I suspect our unwanted pregnancy rates for adults are probably the highest too. I believe that the best way we can address it is to lead by example. It's likely I don't drink to excess because my parents were never drunk in our home. And their attitude to sex being something adults do in a loving relationship has stayed with me too. I don't think it is as simple as introducing them to it at an early age.

Casual sex is, I think, even more accepted in the culture here than in the UK, its not considered a big deal at all by most people yet the teen pregnancy rate is so much lower (don't know about the rate of unwanted pregnancies for adults but considered the low rate for teens I'd expect similar for adults) so I really don't think having an open attitude towards casual sex is a problem (in regards to this issue)

I do agree that leading by example is good though, especially in regards to drinking (binge drinking is a huge issue here too) but its not right to put drinking and sex in the same category - sex, when practised safely, is healthy and important whereas anything beyond very moderate drinking is unhealthy and unnecessary- they just can't and shouldn't be treated the same.

I think the bigger catch here is: how do you model not having sex when most of us do have sex and teenagers know we have sex.

It's the parameters around having sex that's important. Things like being emotionally ready, choosing the partner wisely and using protection. All of which OP seems to have covered with her daughter.

Exactly. Well apart from the condom thing, OP needs to cover that subject a bit stronger.

 

[sethsmummy]

its just the way you wrote it hun.

if she was as responsible and mature as you claim she is

it comes across as rude.

yes she might not be using condoms but she is religiously using her pill.. which is a heck of a lot more than what 90% of teenagers would be using. We don't all know who our partners have been with or if they would cheat on us but not all adults use condoms.. we run the same risks yet we see ourselves as being responsible and mature. This is exactly the same in my eyes.

Just because some adults don't take birth control seriously, doesn't mean it's ok for teenagers to do the same. The biggest difference is, adults are better equipped, certainly emotionally, to deal with the consequences of STI and unplanned pregnancy.

But the same is true for everyone, no matter what the age, if you can't use the word condom, you shouldn't be having sex with the person you are with.

Now I agree with you absolutely about the condom thing, but I'd like to point out that countries like the UK and US, who have a more prevalent attitude that teens shouldn't and must not have sex, have a much higher teen pregnancy rate than countries that are much more relaxed about the whole thing. The idea might be good but it doesn't work unfortunately (statistically speaking, obviously in individual cases it can work but on a whole it doesn't).

I think there are a lot of complex issues which lead to our high teenage pregnancy rate. There have been many different initiatives we have tried which emulate those in countries with a lower rate of teen pregnancy, and it hasn't worked, in fact rates went up. Just like we haven't been able to reduce binge drinking by introducing continental drinking rules. The issue is with society's general attitude to both. The excesses of binge drinking and casual sex are part of our culture for adults and tinkering around with initiatives for teenagers isn't working. I haven't got the figures but I suspect our unwanted pregnancy rates for adults are probably the highest too. I believe that the best way we can address it is to lead by example. It's likely I don't drink to excess because my parents were never drunk in our home. And their attitude to sex being something adults do in a loving relationship has stayed with me too. I don't think it is as simple as introducing them to it at an early age.

Casual sex is, I think, even more accepted in the culture here than in the UK, its not considered a big deal at all by most people yet the teen pregnancy rate is so much lower (don't know about the rate of unwanted pregnancies for adults but considered the low rate for teens I'd expect similar for adults) so I really don't think having an open attitude towards casual sex is a problem (in regards to this issue)

I do agree that leading by example is good though, especially in regards to drinking (binge drinking is a huge issue here too) but its not right to put drinking and sex in the same category - sex, when practised safely, is healthy and important whereas anything beyond very moderate drinking is unhealthy and unnecessary- they just can't and shouldn't be treated the same.

I think the bigger catch here is: how do you model not having sex when most of us do have sex and teenagers know we have sex.

It's the parameters around having sex that's important. Things like being emotionally ready, choosing the partner wisely and using protection. All of which OP seems to have covered with her daughter.

Exactly. Well apart from the condom thing, OP needs to cover that subject a bit stronger.

you can preach to your children/other people till you are blue in the face... BUT that does not mean they are going to listen to the advice you give them

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

its just the way you wrote it hun.

if she was as responsible and mature as you claim she is

it comes across as rude.

yes she might not be using condoms but she is religiously using her pill.. which is a heck of a lot more than what 90% of teenagers would be using. We don't all know who our partners have been with or if they would cheat on us but not all adults use condoms.. we run the same risks yet we see ourselves as being responsible and mature. This is exactly the same in my eyes.

Just because some adults don't take birth control seriously, doesn't mean it's ok for teenagers to do the same. The biggest difference is, adults are better equipped, certainly emotionally, to deal with the consequences of STI and unplanned pregnancy.

But the same is true for everyone, no matter what the age, if you can't use the word condom, you shouldn't be having sex with the person you are with.

Now I agree with you absolutely about the condom thing, but I'd like to point out that countries like the UK and US, who have a more prevalent attitude that teens shouldn't and must not have sex, have a much higher teen pregnancy rate than countries that are much more relaxed about the whole thing. The idea might be good but it doesn't work unfortunately (statistically speaking, obviously in individual cases it can work but on a whole it doesn't).

I think there are a lot of complex issues which lead to our high teenage pregnancy rate. There have been many different initiatives we have tried which emulate those in countries with a lower rate of teen pregnancy, and it hasn't worked, in fact rates went up. Just like we haven't been able to reduce binge drinking by introducing continental drinking rules. The issue is with society's general attitude to both. The excesses of binge drinking and casual sex are part of our culture for adults and tinkering around with initiatives for teenagers isn't working. I haven't got the figures but I suspect our unwanted pregnancy rates for adults are probably the highest too. I believe that the best way we can address it is to lead by example. It's likely I don't drink to excess because my parents were never drunk in our home. And their attitude to sex being something adults do in a loving relationship has stayed with me too. I don't think it is as simple as introducing them to it at an early age.

Casual sex is, I think, even more accepted in the culture here than in the UK, its not considered a big deal at all by most people yet the teen pregnancy rate is so much lower (don't know about the rate of unwanted pregnancies for adults but considered the low rate for teens I'd expect similar for adults) so I really don't think having an open attitude towards casual sex is a problem (in regards to this issue)

I do agree that leading by example is good though, especially in regards to drinking (binge drinking is a huge issue here too) but its not right to put drinking and sex in the same category - sex, when practised safely, is healthy and important whereas anything beyond very moderate drinking is unhealthy and unnecessary- they just can't and shouldn't be treated the same.

I think the bigger catch here is: how do you model not having sex when most of us do have sex and teenagers know we have sex.

It's the parameters around having sex that's important. Things like being emotionally ready, choosing the partner wisely and using protection. All of which OP seems to have covered with her daughter.

Having said that I really don't believe a 15 year old is 100% emotionally ready and can be sure she has chosen her partner wisely. As I mentioned before in my own situation. My parents and my self thought I was ready aged 16 and I was responsible. 7 years later my whole outlook has changed. me and my then partner are not together. Yes I have an amazing 5 year old but I am no where near the person I was and neither is he. No 15 year old is truly ready for such an intense relationship when their whole body and brain is still developing IMO x

 

[NoodleSnack]

its just the way you wrote it hun.

if she was as responsible and mature as you claim she is

it comes across as rude.

yes she might not be using condoms but she is religiously using her pill.. which is a heck of a lot more than what 90% of teenagers would be using. We don't all know who our partners have been with or if they would cheat on us but not all adults use condoms.. we run the same risks yet we see ourselves as being responsible and mature. This is exactly the same in my eyes.

Just because some adults don't take birth control seriously, doesn't mean it's ok for teenagers to do the same. The biggest difference is, adults are better equipped, certainly emotionally, to deal with the consequences of STI and unplanned pregnancy.

But the same is true for everyone, no matter what the age, if you can't use the word condom, you shouldn't be having sex with the person you are with.

Now I agree with you absolutely about the condom thing, but I'd like to point out that countries like the UK and US, who have a more prevalent attitude that teens shouldn't and must not have sex, have a much higher teen pregnancy rate than countries that are much more relaxed about the whole thing. The idea might be good but it doesn't work unfortunately (statistically speaking, obviously in individual cases it can work but on a whole it doesn't).

I think there are a lot of complex issues which lead to our high teenage pregnancy rate. There have been many different initiatives we have tried which emulate those in countries with a lower rate of teen pregnancy, and it hasn't worked, in fact rates went up. Just like we haven't been able to reduce binge drinking by introducing continental drinking rules. The issue is with society's general attitude to both. The excesses of binge drinking and casual sex are part of our culture for adults and tinkering around with initiatives for teenagers isn't working. I haven't got the figures but I suspect our unwanted pregnancy rates for adults are probably the highest too. I believe that the best way we can address it is to lead by example. It's likely I don't drink to excess because my parents were never drunk in our home. And their attitude to sex being something adults do in a loving relationship has stayed with me too. I don't think it is as simple as introducing them to it at an early age.

Casual sex is, I think, even more accepted in the culture here than in the UK, its not considered a big deal at all by most people yet the teen pregnancy rate is so much lower (don't know about the rate of unwanted pregnancies for adults but considered the low rate for teens I'd expect similar for adults) so I really don't think having an open attitude towards casual sex is a problem (in regards to this issue)

I do agree that leading by example is good though, especially in regards to drinking (binge drinking is a huge issue here too) but its not right to put drinking and sex in the same category - sex, when practised safely, is healthy and important whereas anything beyond very moderate drinking is unhealthy and unnecessary- they just can't and shouldn't be treated the same.

I think the bigger catch here is: how do you model not having sex when most of us do have sex and teenagers know we have sex.

It's the parameters around having sex that's important. Things like being emotionally ready, choosing the partner wisely and using protection. All of which OP seems to have covered with her daughter.

Having said that I really don't believe a 15 year old is 100% emotionally ready and can be sure she has chosen her partner wisely. As I mentioned before in my own situation. My parents and my self thought I was ready aged 16 and I was responsible. 7 years later my whole outlook has changed. me and my then partner are not together. Yes I have an amazing 5 year old but I am no where near the person I was and neither is he. No 15 year old is truly ready for such an intense relationship when their whole body and brain is still developing IMO x

My mum married my dad at 16 and they're still together more than 30 years later. I lived oversea away from my parents, made all decisions myself, from younger than that. I wouldn't make a blanket statement.

We all don't know OP's daughter, she is the one who does, so she's in the best place to make that call.

 

[jd83]

its just the way you wrote it hun.

if she was as responsible and mature as you claim she is

it comes across as rude.

yes she might not be using condoms but she is religiously using her pill.. which is a heck of a lot more than what 90% of teenagers would be using. We don't all know who our partners have been with or if they would cheat on us but not all adults use condoms.. we run the same risks yet we see ourselves as being responsible and mature. This is exactly the same in my eyes.

Just because some adults don't take birth control seriously, doesn't mean it's ok for teenagers to do the same. The biggest difference is, adults are better equipped, certainly emotionally, to deal with the consequences of STI and unplanned pregnancy.

But the same is true for everyone, no matter what the age, if you can't use the word condom, you shouldn't be having sex with the person you are with.

Now I agree with you absolutely about the condom thing, but I'd like to point out that countries like the UK and US, who have a more prevalent attitude that teens shouldn't and must not have sex, have a much higher teen pregnancy rate than countries that are much more relaxed about the whole thing. The idea might be good but it doesn't work unfortunately (statistically speaking, obviously in individual cases it can work but on a whole it doesn't).

I think there are a lot of complex issues which lead to our high teenage pregnancy rate. There have been many different initiatives we have tried which emulate those in countries with a lower rate of teen pregnancy, and it hasn't worked, in fact rates went up. Just like we haven't been able to reduce binge drinking by introducing continental drinking rules. The issue is with society's general attitude to both. The excesses of binge drinking and casual sex are part of our culture for adults and tinkering around with initiatives for teenagers isn't working. I haven't got the figures but I suspect our unwanted pregnancy rates for adults are probably the highest too. I believe that the best way we can address it is to lead by example. It's likely I don't drink to excess because my parents were never drunk in our home. And their attitude to sex being something adults do in a loving relationship has stayed with me too. I don't think it is as simple as introducing them to it at an early age.

Casual sex is, I think, even more accepted in the culture here than in the UK, its not considered a big deal at all by most people yet the teen pregnancy rate is so much lower (don't know about the rate of unwanted pregnancies for adults but considered the low rate for teens I'd expect similar for adults) so I really don't think having an open attitude towards casual sex is a problem (in regards to this issue)

I do agree that leading by example is good though, especially in regards to drinking (binge drinking is a huge issue here too) but its not right to put drinking and sex in the same category - sex, when practised safely, is healthy and important whereas anything beyond very moderate drinking is unhealthy and unnecessary- they just can't and shouldn't be treated the same.

I think the bigger catch here is: how do you model not having sex when most of us do have sex and teenagers know we have sex.

It's the parameters around having sex that's important. Things like being emotionally ready, choosing the partner wisely and using protection. All of which OP seems to have covered with her daughter.

Having said that I really don't believe a 15 year old is 100% emotionally ready and can be sure she has chosen her partner wisely. As I mentioned before in my own situation. My parents and my self thought I was ready aged 16 and I was responsible. 7 years later my whole outlook has changed. me and my then partner are not together. Yes I have an amazing 5 year old but I am no where near the person I was and neither is he. No 15 year old is truly ready for such an intense relationship when their whole body and brain is still developing IMO x

My mum married my dad at 16 and they're still together more than 30 years later. I lived oversea away from my parents, made all decisions myself, from younger than that. I wouldn't make a blanket statement.

We all don't know OP's daughter, she is the one who does, so she's in the best place to make that call.

I met my DH very young as well. I was 16 when we met, and we've now been married for 12 years; got married when I was 18. So, yes, I agree that teens "can" meet someone that young where the relationship just continues to grow and stay healthy. I don't think that's the norm, though. I would absolutely say that's the exception, given most teen relationships. Most are just learning about love, learning about emotions, learning about what they want in a partner. They aren't looking for a life partner at that point, whether they think they are or not. Most teen relationships, in general, do not last, which is why its so important to teach your kids about using common sense, using protection in addition to birth control if they are going to have sex, etc.

Sure, I'd say most teens in these intense relationships feel ready to be having sex, or they wouldn't be doing it. At that age, its just harder to visualize actual consequences though. Teen pregnancies, STDs, etc I think are concepts that at that age, they just don't think will happen to them. Yes, they realize they are risks, but I think most teens just have that young overconfidence in the world that nothing bad will happen to them. Until it does. Which is why its up to us as parents to do the best we can at educating them on these very real risks. It's also why I feel like I, as a parent, shouldn't condone that type of activity in my home. Condoning it in my home is taking just as much responsibility for the consequences by telling them its okay with you. I want them to make good decisions, responsible decisions, and to respect the wishes I have for in my home. Sure, they may sneak off and do things I wouldn't want them to, but I can only hope I will instill in them the sense to be as responsible as they can be.

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

its just the way you wrote it hun.

if she was as responsible and mature as you claim she is

it comes across as rude.

yes she might not be using condoms but she is religiously using her pill.. which is a heck of a lot more than what 90% of teenagers would be using. We don't all know who our partners have been with or if they would cheat on us but not all adults use condoms.. we run the same risks yet we see ourselves as being responsible and mature. This is exactly the same in my eyes.

Just because some adults don't take birth control seriously, doesn't mean it's ok for teenagers to do the same. The biggest difference is, adults are better equipped, certainly emotionally, to deal with the consequences of STI and unplanned pregnancy.

But the same is true for everyone, no matter what the age, if you can't use the word condom, you shouldn't be having sex with the person you are with.

Now I agree with you absolutely about the condom thing, but I'd like to point out that countries like the UK and US, who have a more prevalent attitude that teens shouldn't and must not have sex, have a much higher teen pregnancy rate than countries that are much more relaxed about the whole thing. The idea might be good but it doesn't work unfortunately (statistically speaking, obviously in individual cases it can work but on a whole it doesn't).

I think there are a lot of complex issues which lead to our high teenage pregnancy rate. There have been many different initiatives we have tried which emulate those in countries with a lower rate of teen pregnancy, and it hasn't worked, in fact rates went up. Just like we haven't been able to reduce binge drinking by introducing continental drinking rules. The issue is with society's general attitude to both. The excesses of binge drinking and casual sex are part of our culture for adults and tinkering around with initiatives for teenagers isn't working. I haven't got the figures but I suspect our unwanted pregnancy rates for adults are probably the highest too. I believe that the best way we can address it is to lead by example. It's likely I don't drink to excess because my parents were never drunk in our home. And their attitude to sex being something adults do in a loving relationship has stayed with me too. I don't think it is as simple as introducing them to it at an early age.

Casual sex is, I think, even more accepted in the culture here than in the UK, its not considered a big deal at all by most people yet the teen pregnancy rate is so much lower (don't know about the rate of unwanted pregnancies for adults but considered the low rate for teens I'd expect similar for adults) so I really don't think having an open attitude towards casual sex is a problem (in regards to this issue)

I do agree that leading by example is good though, especially in regards to drinking (binge drinking is a huge issue here too) but its not right to put drinking and sex in the same category - sex, when practised safely, is healthy and important whereas anything beyond very moderate drinking is unhealthy and unnecessary- they just can't and shouldn't be treated the same.

I think the bigger catch here is: how do you model not having sex when most of us do have sex and teenagers know we have sex.

It's the parameters around having sex that's important. Things like being emotionally ready, choosing the partner wisely and using protection. All of which OP seems to have covered with her daughter.

Having said that I really don't believe a 15 year old is 100% emotionally ready and can be sure she has chosen her partner wisely. As I mentioned before in my own situation. My parents and my self thought I was ready aged 16 and I was responsible. 7 years later my whole outlook has changed. me and my then partner are not together. Yes I have an amazing 5 year old but I am no where near the person I was and neither is he. No 15 year old is truly ready for such an intense relationship when their whole body and brain is still developing IMO x

My mum married my dad at 16 and they're still together more than 30 years later. I lived oversea away from my parents, made all decisions myself, from younger than that. I wouldn't make a blanket statement.

We all don't know OP's daughter, she is the one who does, so she's in the best place to make that call.

That may be and congratulations to them. Although 30 years a long time and a lot has changed including society's views and the age children are still in education. Also I know many other people who have been in relationships young and it hasn't lasted. Her mother may know her well but she is still risking an unwanted pregnancy aged 15 and that IMO is irresponsible. Also my mother knows me well but she assessed my emotional intellegance incorrectly and the relationship. Yes she is on the pill but as my case prices that isn't 100%. At 15 I think the focus should be their education and getting a good start in life. In addition the relationship the OP is describing sounds very very intense, such relationships make it hard to see clearly.

 

[Cariad_x]

Having said that I really don't believe a 15 year old is 100% emotionally ready and can be sure she has chosen her partner wisely. As I mentioned before in my own situation. My parents and my self thought I was ready aged 16 and I was responsible. 7 years later my whole outlook has changed. me and my then partner are not together. Yes I have an amazing 5 year old but I am no where near the person I was and neither is he. No 15 year old is truly ready for such an intense relationship when their whole body and brain is still developing IMO x

I had sex just after I turned 15 with my ex. We were together for 8 years and engaged although unfortunately we grew apart and broke up. I have only ever been with him and my current partner. I also know of several couples who have been together since a young age and are now happily married. Some 15 year olds are. Maturity can differ greatly with the individual.

I personally would press the condom issue more based on the STI factor and doubling up. Purely because accidents can happen and it would be a shame for this to occur. Otherwise I don't see that much wrong with the situation. My family did not allow my ex to stay over and it certainly didn't stop us - we just went elsewhere!

 

[MissyMojo]

I'm another who met oh as a teen, I was 16 he was 15 we've been together 11.5 years and coming up to our 6th wedding anniversary

I was on the pill for hormonal reasons at 14,
I had a very open relationship with my mum, we talked about my having sex before I did it,

I was left on my own to look after younger siblings from 16, with oh staying over too.

Only the OP truly know her daughter & the relationship,
I would also be advising on condom usage and regular check ups with gynae /std screening