Small Debate- Surrogate keeps baby then courts tell the father to pay maintanace

[x_Rainbow_x]

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uk...to-pay-568-for-child-they-will-never-see.html

Veiws please?
This was on the wright show this morning and it really really wound me up

Keep this friendly please..

 

[AppleBlossom]

Wow, that's so wrong on so many levels Giving that couple hope that they will have a child then ripping it away from them is bad enough. But then to demand they pay for it? I can't believe a judge ruled in the woman's favour

 

[Blah11]

What a horrid thing to do Its bad enough deciding against giving them the baby, but one I can sympathise with. Demanding maintenence is beyond low. That being said, I guess its a risk you have to take when you use a surrogate. I do think adoption is better than bringing another life into the world in cases like these. Its different if a close friend of family member offers to be your surrogate though.

 

[x_Rainbow_x]

i was discussing it with someone and they said if i rang up theyd argue it isnt a womans right to be a mother its a privalidge... like i said quite abruptly some ladies dont get given that privalidge. that poor woman now has to live every day knowin the child that should have been hers is living elsewhere and her arms are empty!

 

[buttonnose82]

I'll move this too the News & Debate section

 

[special_kala]

The whole story seems dodgy..what were the £10,000 in expenses? I thought in the UK you couldnt financially gain from surrogacy?

It seems this woman saw this baby as a meal ticket which is awful

 

[AppleBlossom]

Yeah Kala, it's illegal to pay anything other than healthcare expenses to a surrogate in the UK.

 

[x_Rainbow_x]

she only gt £5000 of the 10k... think it was to pay for all the expences of the treatment and care.

 

[Nibblenic]

Thats actually really upset me. That woman is obviously out for money and found her meal ticket.

Not only is it completley wrong that she kept the child, however much I can understand that. But to make him pay! Christ and no matter what your income £600 is a lot of money.

Im really shocked by the ruleing

 

[jennie_78]

Did anyone else hear the surrogate mother call in on the wright stuff?

She said the intended mother had confided in her about domestic violence , and when they suspected the baby had downs they did'nt want to know and she bonded with the baby when she was going through that alone.

The call was ended due to the fact that it was only her side of the argument.

 

[marley2580]

I actually think that the father should have to pay maintenance, he is the child's father and therefore is financially responsible for it. I heard the call on the Wright Stuff and, while I agree that it's an awful thing to do, could you really say you would hand over a child to a couple that you had concerns about?

 

[x_Rainbow_x]

its one side of the story... who even says what she said was the whole truth?

 

[Jess137]

I just think that is wrong. I can sort of understand her deciding to keep the child, but to then ask for child support? That's crazy. She changed her mind and decided to keep it and raise it by herself, she should support it by herself too then. If she cannot afford to raise the child, she should have thought about that before agreeing to be a surrogate, and before keeping the child herself.

 

[marley2580]

its one side of the story... who even says what she said was the whole truth?

I do realise that it's only one side of the story, but to be fair, the papers were only reporting the other side. Moving away from this story in particular, I think if the surrogate has any concerns about the couple, which may only come to light once pregnant, then she has a right not to hand over the baby. I do think though, that there should be very clear rules and that concerns should be investigated properly.

I also maintain that a father should pay for his child.

 

[buttons1]

That is harsh to expect maintainance I bet the couple are devastated

 

[x_Rainbow_x]

as a woman who cant naturally have children i can imagine how that poor woman who put all her hopes and dreams into one person to give her the one life she craves for.
The one thing a woman should be able to do and you cant is the most devastating thing you can hear.
Knowing your husband now has to pay for a child that is his that should have been yours will be ripping her appart.

Fair enuff hes paying for his child, but that woman was expected to be the mother, not the surrogate.

yes it isnt a womans right to be a mother, but unforchatly that privalidge isnt given to some ladies. i just feel for that poor woman.

 

[marley2580]

I do really feel for her as well. I think it's an awful situation. I just am trying to see both sides.

Either way I think there's a strong argument for sorting out the law regarding surrogacy.

 

[x_Rainbow_x]

its put me off... seriously crossed surrogacy off my list.

 

[Laura2919]

£10,000 is a lot for just 'expenses' I know I never spent that amount when I was pregnant. So for one thats illegal, thats not an expense thats buying the surrogate.

I dont agree with the courts, the child should have been given to the couple rather than the mother and I dont agree that they should have to pay maintanance but at the same time they have given up the right to see this baby so why shouldnt he pay. Its a two sided coin really. He could still have contact with this child. Although I dont know how easy the biological mother makes it.

In all cases of surrogacy and adoption people need to understand that sometimes people change their minds and its heartbreaking...

 

[lesleyann]

The is more to this story it was on here before but the Surro and the new mum had become close and new mum started telling the surro alot of things witch made the surro feel uncomfy handing over this child to a couple with violence issues.

Single mum reveals she changed her mind when wife confessed husband was controlling - and once tried to strangle her

She said the woman, identified as Mrs W, told her her husband was controlling and violent towards her, and had once tried to strangle her with a car seat-belt.

The woman had previously tried to use a prostitute as her surrogate, Miss N claimed, and had told her she would abort any child with Down’s syndrome, describing children with the condition as ‘animals’.

There is loads more to this story than we all know, however the court has decided what is best for the child and the court deicded given all the evidence it was best for the child to stay with the birth mother.

He should still have to pay to help raise this child he has decided not to see the child the birth mum is not stopping him.