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SMEP success buddies
- Thread starter CertainTurton
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CertainTurton
Mummy to a toddler
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Hi Ladies,
JUst checking in
Steph and Smiley - amazing weight gains!! so impressed and so strange they are the same!
Steph - oh no, what did the doc say!? really hope they can sort this out for you. Im so sorry you are struggling - poor little man
really hope you can get some rest soon!l
Smiley - glad to hear things are ok with you and that you arent finding it too hard without your OH. Its great to have a good network of people - makes things easier.
Afm - things are good. Having a nice time at my parents now we spent the first 3 nights at the in laws. I get on really well with them but i find it harder to relax with them and eleanor than i do with my parents - is that normal!? I mean i trust them but I just find im watching them more and i really didnt like it when MIL took her outside when she was crying and we were eating. I know she was just trying to help but I still didnt like it oh well.
On a big plus - Eleanor is now sleeping some of (sometimes most of) the night in her crib!!! I know amazing! I dont know why but changing scene seems to have helped!? she does seem to go slightly longer between feeds in our bed but its nice to be able to stretch out! I just hope it continues now
Hope you are all well x
JUst checking in
Steph and Smiley - amazing weight gains!! so impressed and so strange they are the same!
Steph - oh no, what did the doc say!? really hope they can sort this out for you. Im so sorry you are struggling - poor little man
really hope you can get some rest soon!lSmiley - glad to hear things are ok with you and that you arent finding it too hard without your OH. Its great to have a good network of people - makes things easier.
Afm - things are good. Having a nice time at my parents now
we spent the first 3 nights at the in laws. I get on really well with them but i find it harder to relax with them and eleanor than i do with my parents - is that normal!? I mean i trust them but I just find im watching them more and i really didnt like it when MIL took her outside when she was crying and we were eating. I know she was just trying to help but I still didnt like it oh well.On a big plus - Eleanor is now sleeping some of (sometimes most of) the night in her crib!!! I know amazing! I dont know why but changing scene seems to have helped!? she does seem to go slightly longer between feeds in our bed but its nice to be able to stretch out! I just hope it continues now
Hope you are all well
xHello girlies!
How is everyone? It's too quiet for my liking! I need things to read when I'm doing the night feeds
Certain - glad you are having a nice time! That's great Eleanor has been sleeping in her crib, maybe a change of scene was all she needed. I guess maybe she recognised your room and just thought 'stuff sleeping in the crib, I know it's much better in the bed!' FX it continues for you!
AFM - All good here. For the past couple evenings Oscar has been having a major fussy period. From about 5 to 9/10 ish where he won't settle. Or he would settle then startle himself awake approx one hundred times!! I think it's just that we were missing his sleep window and he got over tired. So today I've been allowing him 45mins max before putting him back down to sleep again and that's worked well. No fussy evening!!
I still haven't had a cluster feeding session, maybe he just won't have them?? He feeds quite quickly but he takes a lot in that short time! He's defo a guzzler!!
Anyway, hope everyone is having a nice weekend! x x x
How is everyone? It's too quiet for my liking! I need things to read when I'm doing the night feeds
Certain - glad you are having a nice time! That's great Eleanor has been sleeping in her crib, maybe a change of scene was all she needed. I guess maybe she recognised your room and just thought 'stuff sleeping in the crib, I know it's much better in the bed!' FX it continues for you!
AFM - All good here. For the past couple evenings Oscar has been having a major fussy period. From about 5 to 9/10 ish where he won't settle. Or he would settle then startle himself awake approx one hundred times!! I think it's just that we were missing his sleep window and he got over tired. So today I've been allowing him 45mins max before putting him back down to sleep again and that's worked well. No fussy evening!!
I still haven't had a cluster feeding session, maybe he just won't have them?? He feeds quite quickly but he takes a lot in that short time! He's defo a guzzler!!
Anyway, hope everyone is having a nice weekend! x x x
steph1505
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Hey girls!
Hows everyone gettin on?
Certain - yaaaay to Eleanor sleepin in her crib!! Long may it continue! And i totally know what u mean abt trusting ur parents more over ur inlaws! I think most people are like that (altho, i get annoyed at my OH for not trusting my mum and dad as much as his lol)
Smiley - aaw sorry Oscars been unsettled! Glad uz had a good nite last nite! How do u put him down to sleep? We need to rock Oliver to sleep, or leave him to sleep in his chair...but ive read this is quite common for refluxy babies! U def dont need to worry abt Oscars feeding...hes def a wee muncher!! Good on him lol!!
AFM - sorry ive not been posting but i had a MAJOR breakdown! I just couldnt cope anymore with Oliver, he was crying all day and all night...i was absolutely shattered, mentally and physically! So MIL took me to my HV wherr i basically sat crying saying i wished i had NEVER had Oliver, i wanted him gone! I didnt want to look at him, touch him, pick him up! Nothing! I know this is terrible of me to say but theres no point me lying! I was horrified at what i was saying but i just felt uttery overwhelmed at the having a baby who was in so much pain and having to look after Brandon too!
So we changed Olivers milk and I have a different baby! He will now lie on his mat for a bit and 'chat' away...or he'l sit on his chair and vibratr away! Hes sleeping through the night again! And i feel more human! He is still refluxing but no where near in as much pain as he was! And he smiles now
so i am def seeing light at the end of the tunnel! My HV said she is gonna keep a close eye on me as she thought i was getting PND but i do feel much better! I literally cried for 3 days straight...OH cried because i was a mess! At one point, i sat in our living room cupboard in the dark and just broke my heart! Ive never felt like that in my life! And i never want to again!
Sorry...i just had to get that off my chest! But heres hoping the milk and gaviscon do the trick and that Oliver outgrows this reflux soon! The HV thinks he has a wee cows milk intolerance too!
Xxxxxx
Hows everyone gettin on?
Certain - yaaaay to Eleanor sleepin in her crib!! Long may it continue! And i totally know what u mean abt trusting ur parents more over ur inlaws! I think most people are like that (altho, i get annoyed at my OH for not trusting my mum and dad as much as his lol)
Smiley - aaw sorry Oscars been unsettled! Glad uz had a good nite last nite! How do u put him down to sleep? We need to rock Oliver to sleep, or leave him to sleep in his chair...but ive read this is quite common for refluxy babies! U def dont need to worry abt Oscars feeding...hes def a wee muncher!! Good on him lol!!
AFM - sorry ive not been posting but i had a MAJOR breakdown! I just couldnt cope anymore with Oliver, he was crying all day and all night...i was absolutely shattered, mentally and physically! So MIL took me to my HV wherr i basically sat crying saying i wished i had NEVER had Oliver, i wanted him gone! I didnt want to look at him, touch him, pick him up! Nothing! I know this is terrible of me to say but theres no point me lying! I was horrified at what i was saying but i just felt uttery overwhelmed at the having a baby who was in so much pain and having to look after Brandon too!
So we changed Olivers milk and I have a different baby! He will now lie on his mat for a bit and 'chat' away...or he'l sit on his chair and vibratr away! Hes sleeping through the night again! And i feel more human! He is still refluxing but no where near in as much pain as he was! And he smiles now
so i am def seeing light at the end of the tunnel! My HV said she is gonna keep a close eye on me as she thought i was getting PND but i do feel much better! I literally cried for 3 days straight...OH cried because i was a mess! At one point, i sat in our living room cupboard in the dark and just broke my heart! Ive never felt like that in my life! And i never want to again!Sorry...i just had to get that off my chest! But heres hoping the milk and gaviscon do the trick and that Oliver outgrows this reflux soon! The HV thinks he has a wee cows milk intolerance too!
Xxxxxx
Oh Steph - sweetie, I wish I could give you a proper hug!!!
I'm so sorry things got that bad, but i'm so pleased you are seeing the end is in sight now. What milk have they put Oliver on? I'm SO glad that is helping
Honestly, you have done so well lovely!! I hope things continue to get better quickly for you. But please - come on here and VENT. If you want my mob num you can, if at any point you just want to text or something - Any time!!!
Re: Oscar sleeping, we are putting him in his pram to sleep. (the Sola bit) Day and night. In the days he's down stairs, but goes up into our room at night. He's been really good at going in there, but i've put blankets and things around him to make it really snuggly. With DS1 though, he always slept in his swinging chair - so yeah, that's definitely common for relux babies. You just put him where ever he sleeps and don't worry about it!
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I wish I could give you a proper hug!!!I'm so sorry things got that bad, but i'm so pleased you are seeing the end is in sight now. What milk have they put Oliver on? I'm SO glad that is helping
Honestly, you have done so well lovely!! I hope things continue to get better quickly for you. But please - come on here and VENT. If you want my mob num you can, if at any point you just want to text or something - Any time!!!
Re: Oscar sleeping, we are putting him in his pram to sleep. (the Sola bit) Day and night. In the days he's down stairs, but goes up into our room at night. He's been really good at going in there, but i've put blankets and things around him to make it really snuggly. With DS1 though, he always slept in his swinging chair - so yeah, that's definitely common for relux babies. You just put him where ever he sleeps and don't worry about it!
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steph1505
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Ive been diagnosed with post natal depression
I cant believe this is happening! I never thought it would happen to me! I hate feeling like this!
Ive had the day from hell, having panic attack after panic attack! I cant believe how i feel...i hate it! I never knew i could feel so low, im normally such a happy person!
Well its my birthday tomorrow...hopefully that cheers me up a bit!
Im so sorry to put a downer on this thread when uz are all so happy and having such a lovely time in ur pregnancies or with ur beautiful babies!
Smiley, i wish we could have made the transition from 3 to 4 with the same ease that uz did! I envy you! U have done amazingly well!
Xxxxxx
I cant believe this is happening! I never thought it would happen to me! I hate feeling like this!
Ive had the day from hell, having panic attack after panic attack! I cant believe how i feel...i hate it! I never knew i could feel so low, im normally such a happy person!
Well its my birthday tomorrow...hopefully that cheers me up a bit!
Im so sorry to put a downer on this thread when uz are all so happy and having such a lovely time in ur pregnancies or with ur beautiful babies!
Smiley, i wish we could have made the transition from 3 to 4 with the same ease that uz did! I envy you! U have done amazingly well!
Xxxxxx
Beauty2
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Oh Steph, I was just going to say I think you have a some postpartum depression going on. It's natural for some women. Don't beat yourself up. You are trying to balance/combine two lives: having a newborn and getting back to your old life and that's harder for some than others. It will pass...might take a little longer than you want. I know because I had it with my daughter. Just try to get enough rest and take lots of "me-time" breaks. You need to feel whole again. You need to feel like “yourself”. So nice trips to the spa, girl nights, reading a good book when you can, fresh air walks, listening to music, being at the house alone. Let your love ones in on the ‘secret’ that you have a bit of depression so they can lend a helping hand! I hope this passes very soon!!! Here is the biggest hug I can give you
God Bless!
Happy Belated Mother’s Day to you lovely ladies!!!!!
God Bless!
Happy Belated Mother’s Day to you lovely ladies!!!!!
steph1505
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Aw thanks beauty
Its awful! Were u on anti depressants? Ive to go get mine tomorrow! I never thought i would end up on anti depressants! I really dont want it to affect my relationship with Oliver! Do u feel u missed out on the start of ur DDs life? I am really not enjoying Oliver and I want to so badly! I so badly want that huge gush of love and im just not getting it! Of course i love him and would die for him, but just dont enjoy him! I literally want him to sleep him all day long! Its terrible im saying all this! Hes just a tiny wee person...im his mum! I shouldnt feel this way about him, he doesnt deserve it!
Xxxxxx
Its awful! Were u on anti depressants? Ive to go get mine tomorrow! I never thought i would end up on anti depressants! I really dont want it to affect my relationship with Oliver! Do u feel u missed out on the start of ur DDs life? I am really not enjoying Oliver and I want to so badly! I so badly want that huge gush of love and im just not getting it! Of course i love him and would die for him, but just dont enjoy him! I literally want him to sleep him all day long! Its terrible im saying all this! Hes just a tiny wee person...im his mum! I shouldnt feel this way about him, he doesnt deserve it!
Xxxxxx
Beauty2
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Actually, I wasn't officially diagnosed with it. I just had all the signs and symptoms and I felt the way you felt so, I just knew. Never thought it would EVER happen to me as I was sooo excited to be pregnant and meet my daughter. She wasn't even having problems like Oliver is. I just couldn't take the crying at night and having to attend to her so much during the day while trying to finish school work. Yes, I felt like I missed out on A LOT of her life because I secluded her for most of her "baby" years while I selfishly tried to finish school. The way I treated her, to this day, makes me break out in tears. The only way I could describe that situation is I was just sick. I had the most evil thoughts and felt overwhelmed by her. I loved her so much but she was too much to deal with. I've always thought it to be very embarrassing so, no one ever knew about it, which is quite dangerous. The way I felt about her at times I could've seriously harmed her. Thank God I pulled through! God was watching over both of us. In fact, I just told my mom about it last week. She had no idea and we lived with her for the first 5 months.
I think it's wonderful that you are seeking help! You are much more stronger and selfless than I was. You are a wonderful mommy!!! You deserve to feel the joy of your new baby. Definitely do what the doc says so that you won't have to live with the guilt for the rest of your life. I know taking that medication is scary. Maybe you should seek a therapist first? I don't know the solution really, I was lucky enough to come out of it but it took me a LONG time. I don't want that to happen to you.
I think it's wonderful that you are seeking help! You are much more stronger and selfless than I was. You are a wonderful mommy!!! You deserve to feel the joy of your new baby. Definitely do what the doc says so that you won't have to live with the guilt for the rest of your life. I know taking that medication is scary. Maybe you should seek a therapist first? I don't know the solution really, I was lucky enough to come out of it but it took me a LONG time. I don't want that to happen to you.
steph1505
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God that sounds scary! That must've been such a hard time for u U didnt choose to feel like that though so dont beat ureself up! My HV said to me today that its caused by a chemical imbalance in our brains! I totally 100% know what u mean about being overwhelmed! Im disgustingly terrified of him! I feel suffocated by Oliver! I havent felt like I could harm him but I genuinely feel like I could consider giving him away! How awful is that?? This is just too much hard work for me!
And i always prided myself on being such a good mum! Brandon is a beautiful, polite, well behaved toddler! I feel i am totally failing the two of them! I sit and cry in front of Brandon ALL the time and he doesnt know why! Its breaking my heart! I am absolutely useless as a mother! I am going to see a therapist as well as take the medication! I want this fixed asap! I want me back! I feel like someone has taken over my body and mind!
My poor mum is 4 hours away and is desperately trying to get time off work so she can come help me! My MIL is really supportive too... and of course my OH! He is utterly heartbroken! I feel i am making us all miserable! Aaaaaahhh!!! I just want to go and scream and cry and stomp my feet!
U have done a fantastic job with ur daughter! Do you have a good relationship with her? I worry il never feel as close to Oliver as I do Brandon!
Xxxxxxx
U didnt choose to feel like that though so dont beat ureself up! My HV said to me today that its caused by a chemical imbalance in our brains! I totally 100% know what u mean about being overwhelmed! Im disgustingly terrified of him! I feel suffocated by Oliver! I havent felt like I could harm him but I genuinely feel like I could consider giving him away! How awful is that?? This is just too much hard work for me! And i always prided myself on being such a good mum! Brandon is a beautiful, polite, well behaved toddler! I feel i am totally failing the two of them! I sit and cry in front of Brandon ALL the time and he doesnt know why! Its breaking my heart! I am absolutely useless as a mother! I am going to see a therapist as well as take the medication! I want this fixed asap! I want me back! I feel like someone has taken over my body and mind!
My poor mum is 4 hours away and is desperately trying to get time off work so she can come help me! My MIL is really supportive too... and of course my OH! He is utterly heartbroken! I feel i am making us all miserable! Aaaaaahhh!!! I just want to go and scream and cry and stomp my feet!
U have done a fantastic job with ur daughter! Do you have a good relationship with her? I worry il never feel as close to Oliver as I do Brandon!
Xxxxxxx
Oh Steph, sounds like you are doing all the right things. I'm so sorry that you are feeling this way. Panic attacks are horrible. I went through a massive stage of panic attacks and depression when my mum died so I can relate.
I'm so glad that you have seen this and are getting what help you can though, you are a brilliant mummy and that shows just by how you are describing everything. I know you love both those boys so much.
I can't imagine how hard it is for you hun, but you are doing everything that you can!! Just take whatever help is offered, if it's anti depressants they are recommending then you just have to trust that's right.
Sweetie, if Oscar had the same problems as Oliver or DS1 had then I truly think I would be in the same situation as you. I just can't imagine having to deal with all of that as well as trying to adjust to everything else. It is hard!
Happy birthday for tomorrow!!! I hope you get spoilt with lots of lovely treats!!
x x x x
I'm so sorry that you are feeling this way. Panic attacks are horrible. I went through a massive stage of panic attacks and depression when my mum died so I can relate. I'm so glad that you have seen this and are getting what help you can though, you are a brilliant mummy and that shows just by how you are describing everything. I know you love both those boys so much.
I can't imagine how hard it is for you hun, but you are doing everything that you can!! Just take whatever help is offered, if it's anti depressants they are recommending then you just have to trust that's right.
Sweetie, if Oscar had the same problems as Oliver or DS1 had then I truly think I would be in the same situation as you. I just can't imagine having to deal with all of that as well as trying to adjust to everything else. It is hard!
Happy birthday for tomorrow!!! I hope you get spoilt with lots of lovely treats!!
x x x x
steph1505
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Smiley, i just seen ur post! I never seen it last night!
thanks so much for what ur saying! Im up feeding oliver just now but i felt physically sick at the thought of doing it! Ive gave him a bottle hundreds of times but now i am terrified to do it! Hes sleeping on my chest at the mo (doing the whole keeping him upright) and i just dont feel the same way i did when Brandon would lie on me! I definitely do have a favourite child and this is breaking my heart! Poor oliver! Imagine ur own mum thinking that!
I just wanna get in the car and drive! Xxxxxx
thanks so much for what ur saying! Im up feeding oliver just now but i felt physically sick at the thought of doing it! Ive gave him a bottle hundreds of times but now i am terrified to do it! Hes sleeping on my chest at the mo (doing the whole keeping him upright) and i just dont feel the same way i did when Brandon would lie on me! I definitely do have a favourite child and this is breaking my heart! Poor oliver! Imagine ur own mum thinking that! I just wanna get in the car and drive! Xxxxxx
CertainTurton
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Oh Steph first of all Happy Birthday! I am so sorry you are having such a hard time but well done for getting the help you need. PND is just horrid and I cant imagine what you are going through but please do know that we are here for you to rant etc. I know you must feel awful at the thoughts you are having but remember you are still being a good mum - you are still caring for him and providing for him - he doesnt know your thoughts and will never need to. You WILL get better and start to feel the love and by that time he will benefit e.g playing etc at the moment just do the best you can. Maybe OH can take some more of the feeds? im so pleased he is being supportive and taking you out tonight, I have no doubt it will help. Im sorry Brandon is finding this hard, maybe you could just let him know you are poorly? Its true what the HV says it is a chemical imbalance and you will get better just like you would from the flu - it just takes time! Please dont feel bad about the medication, it is there for a reason and can help you to gain balance so that the therapy can work. Dare I say it..."trust me, I am a psychologist" You are on my fb but I am happy to give my number should you want to chat in person?
We are all thinking of you and would love to be able to help you more!! Just keep taking every day at a time, keep talking to people and like beauty says, keep tryign to get out in the fresh air!!
I am so sorry you are having such a hard time but well done for getting the help you need. PND is just horrid and I cant imagine what you are going through but please do know that we are here for you to rant etc. I know you must feel awful at the thoughts you are having but remember you are still being a good mum - you are still caring for him and providing for him - he doesnt know your thoughts and will never need to. You WILL get better and start to feel the love and by that time he will benefit e.g playing etc at the moment just do the best you can. Maybe OH can take some more of the feeds? im so pleased he is being supportive and taking you out tonight, I have no doubt it will help. Im sorry Brandon is finding this hard, maybe you could just let him know you are poorly? Its true what the HV says it is a chemical imbalance and you will get better just like you would from the flu - it just takes time! Please dont feel bad about the medication, it is there for a reason and can help you to gain balance so that the therapy can work. Dare I say it..."trust me, I am a psychologist" You are on my fb but I am happy to give my number should you want to chat in person?We are all thinking of you and would love to be able to help you more!! Just keep taking every day at a time, keep talking to people and like beauty says, keep tryign to get out in the fresh air!!
CertainTurton
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Smiley and Beauty - how are things going with you?
AFM- we had a lovely trip down south, love spending time with my parents etc and it went far too quickly but were back home now. I must admit i was starting to worry about getting bored at home so Im looking up groups etc. Yesterday we went to a baby group which was lovely, then went for lunch with a new mum i met at NCT class. Was nice to do something, although Eleanor screamed for ages in teh cafe v.embarrassing! We are doing ok, she is generally sleeping 4 hours or so in the night now and is still mostly in her basket! wooop! also last 2 nights havent been so bad with her tummy - im keeping a food diary now to see if something triggers it - but Im hoping she will just grow out of it! Yesterday she just refused to nap!! argh, and got so overtired!! but today its not so bad, she is asleep in her rocker now - so must go and clean the kitchen..*sigh*
Take care all xx
AFM- we had a lovely trip down south, love spending time with my parents etc and it went far too quickly but were back home now. I must admit i was starting to worry about getting bored at home so Im looking up groups etc. Yesterday we went to a baby group which was lovely, then went for lunch with a new mum i met at NCT class. Was nice to do something, although Eleanor screamed for ages in teh cafe
v.embarrassing! We are doing ok, she is generally sleeping 4 hours or so in the night now and is still mostly in her basket! wooop! also last 2 nights havent been so bad with her tummy - im keeping a food diary now to see if something triggers it - but Im hoping she will just grow out of it! Yesterday she just refused to nap!! argh, and got so overtired!! but today its not so bad, she is asleep in her rocker now - so must go and clean the kitchen..*sigh* Take care all xx
