Sneaking back in...

[MrsBeany85]

Doc it sounds like you have a great plan set out. Very proactive and I don't think you could do more from the sounds of things. Sometimes I think DH and I should be doing more but, I'm not gonna lie, I do find it hard to get my head round everything sometimes and to know what I should be doing for the best.

Belle I'm wishing you a very healthy O! Keeping fingers crossed it happens for you soon.

Afm, I *think* af has started but it's the weirdest af I've ever had. It's all old, brown blood, it's only there when I wipe (and only really if I "explore" if you see what I mean) and it's so far removed from my normal af it's kind of worrying me. Normally by now I would have been/be going through the worst (full on red flow, clots, leaking through clothes and quite often making me have to change the bed sheets in the middle of the night), but I just don't feel like it's even here! I'm not bloated, no real headache, no cramps, nothing. Very weird

 

[MrsBeany85]

Well balls (sorry!) to the holiday! We had a bit of an argument about money and have decided not to book it right now. We decided we'll try to save for a trip in 2018 (unless I get bfp before then in which case the savings will go towards bubba !). I then proceeded to burst into tears and shout at DH and tell him he doesn't know how hard this is for me. What a bitch! We were talking about me making a doctor's appointment and he said something like "just ring them tomorrow and get booked in" and I was all "do you think it's that easy for me to admit that my body isn't capable of the most basic womanly functions?!?!?" then I felt bad for shouting at him. So what had been a lovely evening has been slightly ruined by me turning into a total screaming banshee

 

[MKaykes]

Hey ladies, hope everyone had a great weekend. We had a busy one, I did a garage sale with my mom and sister, made a whole $40! Way too much work for $40, but it was nice to spend some time with my mom and sis and her kids.

Beany, sorry you had a "moment" but I'm sure we've all been there, I know I have.

AF arrived yesterday. Even though I fully expected it and am feeling better about no BFP until after surgery because I don't want to end of rescheduling it if I were to get pregnant and then miscarry, it was still sad to see it.

 

[Pleasance]

MK - I'm sorry AF got you, even though its a bittersweet type of moment.

Beany - I'm sorry you guys had a rough evening. I have had that same gut feeling on the inside before, and I am sure it's something we have each struggled with.

Belle - I got a positive CB digi OPK this morning on CD 16, but the wondfo didn't look quite as dark as I think maybe it should. Last month I had my first positive digi opk at CD 17, and confirmed O on CD 19 with temps so it seems right on track.

Doc - Hopefully your cycle straightens out now that your over the shock of the news. Your game plan sounds good, and I am glad your starting to feel a bit better.

I am feeling a bit stressed out atm. My grandma had her pelvis screwed back together after she fractured it somehow two weeks ago today, and after a series of tests found she needed a new valve, they are doing open heart surgery and putting in a new one today. She is still in surgery (its been over 8 hrs) and I am waiting to hear back as to how she is doing. I'm just so anxious.... I can barely even think about BDing and I know now is the right time.... Hopefully tomorrow will bring better news.

 

[MKaykes]

Hope your grandma's surgery went well Pleasance.

 

[MrsBeany85]

Hope you're grandma is OK Pleasance, waiting to hear is hard.

Sorry af got you MK.

Sorry for my rant last night ladies. It all ended well with lots of hugs from DH! He also said I wasn't horrible at all - I'd blown it all up in my head and it seemed worse. And today it's obvious why, crazy af hormones. Af has fully kicked in today and I've felt a bit rough all day. I should be careful what I wish for!

 

[BelleNuit]

Well balls (sorry!) to the holiday! We had a bit of an argument about money and have decided not to book it right now. We decided we'll try to save for a trip in 2018 (unless I get bfp before then in which case the savings will go towards bubba !). I then proceeded to burst into tears and shout at DH and tell him he doesn't know how hard this is for me. What a bitch! We were talking about me making a doctor's appointment and he said something like "just ring them tomorrow and get booked in" and I was all "do you think it's that easy for me to admit that my body isn't capable of the most basic womanly functions?!?!?" then I felt bad for shouting at him. So what had been a lovely evening has been slightly ruined by me turning into a total screaming banshee

Oh Beany I'm sorry about your fight!! I've definitely been there with DH too!

I just want to remind you that there is nothing basic about reproduction and reproductive health! The more I learn the more I become amazed that anyone gets pregnant at all!

LTTTC is one of the most difficult things someone can go through! I think you are handling it all amazingly!

 

[BelleNuit]

Pleasance I am sorry about your grandma, I hope the surgery goes well! I can understand how something like that may affect your energy to TTC as we are kind of in a similar situation.

We just found out DHs father may need both of his feet amputated (diabetic), so we are kind of in the same boat of just not feeling it! The situation is pretty serious and we had wanted to be pregnant before he passes away, and I'm not sure that will happen now. If he refuses the amputation there's no saying how long he'll last for.

 

[MrsBeany85]

Oh Belle, I'm sorry. That's a hard situation to be in. I hope it all works out as well as it can.

And thank you for your encouraging words, they're much appreciated!

 

[BelleNuit]

Thanks Beany, it is definitely a tough situation. We just found out so are feeling rather numb to it. Will have to wait and see what happens..... There's been too much "wait and see" in my life lately!

 

[Pleasance]

I'm so sorry Belle! I know how hard it is to not be able to do much for loved ones when they are having to make hard choices. My mom has had a kidney transplant due to long term damage from diabetes.

Beany - sorry that AF got you too!

Thanks for the well wishes ladies. The surgery ended up going for about 10 hrs. My grandma is still on a respirator that's breathing for her and she is still in critical care. I haven't been able to see her yet but hoping to soon.

Today I took another wondfo opk and for the first time ever the test line was actually a smidge darker than the control line. We did end up getting to BD last night so our bases should be covered. Went to bed so super late and with so much stuff going on its no wonder I ended up with a migraine today though.

Is anyone else keeping TTC from their families? I'm struggling with this since I'm really close to my sister and feel like I'm lieing to her somehow.

 

[MKaykes]

Darn diabetes, I'm sure it'll take my momma some day. She's been T1 for 40 years, had a bad pneumonia scare a couple months ago just weeks after a low blood sugar scare (she lives alone, called me but could barely talk).

Sorry to hear about the possible amputation, that's really tough.

We initially were only going to tell a few people...now pretty much everyone knows. I definitely couldn't keep it from my mom and sister. My hubby's family started asking right away after we got married, turned in to a "we're working on it" response. So, good news is since most of our friends and family know we don't get questions.

 

[BelleNuit]

Diabetes is truly an awful disease!

Pleasance it sounds like the surgery went well, but she will likely have quite a bit of recovery time! I hope you will be able to get in to see her soon!

As for family, they dont know we are trying (DHs mom REALLY wants to be a grandma and I worry she would be nosy about it if she knew). If we haven't conceived by the one year mark we will let them know then that we've been trying and it hasn't been working. I don't want to have to keep fertility treatments a secret. Some of our friends know and I wish we hadn't told them because now they are surprised that it hasn't happened yet. We thought it would happen right away!!!

 

[BelleNuit]

Well I'd say it looks pretty official that have O'd! Will be a 26 day cycle But hopefully it'll last 9 months haha

 

[BelleNuit]

Holy man, i just realized my ultrasound appointment is for tomorrow morning! I'm so friggen nervous! I've never had an ultrasound before. I have to drink an entire litre of water an hour before my appointment so that the bladder is full. How mean is that!!! I'll probably barely be able to drive myself to my appointment because I'll be busting at the seams!

I hope that everything is okay in there! I know they likely won't tell me anything during the appointment itself. And then next Wednesday will be my CD 21 bloods. These appointments might help this TWW go by faster

 

[MKaykes]

Belle, I know, the full bladder is awful! It was pretty quick for me, then they had me go empty my bladder and they finished up. I have a 30 minute drive to the clinic so I drank my water on my drive.

The only bad part was when they put in the catheter through the cervix.

I hope it goes well, it's nice to get some answers, even if the answer is there is nothing wrong.

 

[MissDoc]

Beany and MKaye, I'm sorry AF got you both. On to a better cycle! Enjoy the AF time with lots of coffee, hot baths, sushi, and alcohol. Lol. Beany, it sounds like you're husband was a sweetie and super tolerant of your mini meltdown, which you were totally entitled to. Glad you're feeling better now.

Pleasance, I'm glad to hear your gma is in the recover stagel. What a relief that she made it through the procedure. That sounds like such a major surgery and really stressful on the family. I'll be sending good thoughts your way. And congrats on the clear OPK positive, that's a plus! In regards to telling others, we're torn. We've told a handful of friends, but not family yet. A few months ago we told them we were hoping to start a family soon, but that was the extent of what we said. No other updates or specific info. If we need to go through major fertility treatment, we may tell them, but they will be insanely nosy and pester-y so, I'm torn about it.

Belle, congrats on the O. Woo to that!I know the test tomorrow is a nuisance but I'm excited for you that you're getting it. I can't wait to hear how it goes... just try not to pee on the ultrasound tech! So is it an abdominal or transvaginal one? Oh, and I'm sorry about the familial diabetes, that seriously sucks. Hope your father in law doesn't decline care.


AFM, FF keeps changing my crosshairs. Now it thinks I o'd two days ago because my temps are consistently higher. But thinking back, I just may have O'd earlier because while I never got a positive OPK, a little before cd 12 it was the darkest, and since then it progressively got later. So who knows. I suspect AF will come between the 10th and 15th, depending on when in the world I actually O'd. Today is day 4 of clean eating and high ubiquinol supplementation. Also drinking 80+ oz of water daily and exercising more regularly, so I feel good about all of that. Got a killer complicated migraine today at work and past the worst part now, but it hurts like absolute hell and I can't wait until the day is over. I hate migraines with a passion.

 

[MKaykes]

Was scrolling through my Facebook feed this morning and saw two posts from pregnant women and it was an interesting comparison. One is 24 weeks along with twins on hospital bed rest due to premature rupture of one of the sacs. She is praying to keep those babies growing inside her as long as she can. The other woman is 35 weeks and complaining saying she can't wait to be done...interesting and made me want to comment on the latter. Also reminds me that I am here praying just to get pregnant and there is a whole other process of staying pregnant and growing a healthy baby.

Prayers we all get our BFPs and healthy 9 months!

 

[BelleNuit]

MK... I really hope I dont have to get a catheter through the cervix if I'm doing a transabdominal ultrasound!! Eek! That sounds very uncomfortable!

It is so true that it is a whole other process once you do get pregnant (and another one yet once the baby has arrived!). I sometimes feel like I have been so singularly focused on my goal to GET pregnant, that I haven't thought much about staying pregnant and what the pregnancy would be like. Actually having a baby is ironically the farthest thing from my mind.

It does bother me when I see women complaining about being pregnant, but I guess if it came easily for them and they have no complications it can be easy to take for granted. I know I haven't been trying as long as some of you lovely ladies here, but even with the length of time that I have been trying, I don't think it is something that I could take for granted anymore. Ignorance is a luxury!

 

[BelleNuit]

Geez, they did a transvaginal ultrasound this AM. I had no idea that was the plan! But I have to go back tomorrow to get abdominal done. I didn't know the doc had requested that too