SO MAD! People have found out! Help?

[Elhaym]

Hi ladies,

I'm really upset right now. My OH told someone he shouldn't have (which I didn't know about till now) - and now it's starting to get passed round people. I'm only 8 weeks tomorrow and didn't want people to know till 12 weeks ish. It really pissed me off because he could have easily fobbed the guy off he told. but didn't. We agreed to tell only parents and our best friends, people we could trust, and this is EXACTLY why.

I can't believe it - how many times in your life do you get to announce you're pregnant? hardly any - and now it's been ruined for me

What do I do? I have disabled my facebook wall for now. I have an 8 week scan tomorrow and if everything looks good I think we might as well announce it then so it's still a surprise for some people at least. Not happy about it though, I wanted to announce it on my own terms, not someone elses!

What do you think? Say bugger it and announce it after scan tomorrow?

 

[bekib10]

OMG I would be so annoyed!! I'm not sure what I'd do in your situation. Probably what you suggested, start telling the important people to you, who YOU want to tell, after the scan tomorrow and take it from there. GL for your scan!!

 

[Tia]

I'd say just to announce it tomorrow. It sucks, I know but it's already been done so it just depends how you want everyone else to find out, whether from you directly or from the grapevine x

 

[BrittneyMom]

Shame on him!!! I would be beyond hurt and upset! I would say if everyone is going to find out from word of mouth anyways from this idiot why not announce it after your scan, especially to the people who really matter. I know I would be really hurt if my close family/friend got prego and someone else told me in the rumor mill.

I would feel robbed as well. Looks like your oh is due for a spanking!! Good luck!

 

[Celesse]

Depends on your social situation I guess. All my work collegues know already and knew early on with DD, but extended family and old school friends and other people I don't see on a day to day basis didn't and don't know. So whilst the new got passed around the people I know from work, I still got to announce to other people in my life.

Also, I think you OH needs to do some major grovelling. Suggestions include buying you a takeaway of your choice with snacks of your choice, flowers, chocolate, shopping trip for maternity clothes on his credit card, pamper evening where he stays out of your way unless summoned to fetch and carry and generally be your bitch.

 

[Elhaym]

Exactly, better from me than some randoms I guess.

Arrrgh, I know I can't do anything about it now and stressing won't change it, so trying to calm down. Just so bloody annoying. Really wanted to surprise everyone.

 

[Dizzy321]

Same has happened to me hun soo annoying!! but it was my mum
anyway we have a scan on wednesday so everything being ok we are just going to announce then

 

[Elhaym]

Depends on your social situation I guess. All my work collegues know already and knew early on with DD, but extended family and old school friends and other people I don't see on a day to day basis didn't and don't know. So whilst the new got passed around the people I know from work, I still got to announce to other people in my life.

Also, I think you OH needs to do some major grovelling. Suggestions include buying you a takeaway of your choice with snacks of your choice, flowers, chocolate, shopping trip for maternity clothes on his credit card, pamper evening where he stays out of your way unless summoned to fetch and carry and generally be your bitch.

Work don't know yet either, so I don't want them randomly finding out. So may as well tell them Monday. Parents know but not extended family. My best friends know but not other friends, etc. The town I live in is one of those where everyone knows everyone's business as soon as it happens, so I think my chances of keeping it quiet now are pretty slim.

Haha I like your grovelling ideas - he definitely needs to make up for this crap!

 

[Elhaym]

Same has happened to me hun soo annoying!! but it was my mum
anyway we have a scan on wednesday so everything being ok we are just going to announce then

Oh no! Well at least we're in the same boat, due date buddy! Maddening isn't it?

In a way I'll be relived when it's all out in the open but it's annoying when the decision has been made for you instead of you telling when you feel it is right!

 

[Dizzy321]

It is, like you say its the best thing you will ever announce in your lifetime so its ovbiously a special time and should be when WE feel the time is right!

I will find out Wednesday if I am your due date buddy :wink: got a feeling a may be put back a little x

 

[Elhaym]

Haha will be interesting to see what we're measuring as, I'm sure I O'd on CD14 so technically I should be bang on 8 weeks, bet it's not though!

Thanks for the support ladies have just put a nice big garlic bread in the oven and going to stuff my face to make myself feel better! x

 

[AimeeM]

Oh no sorry to hear this. My mil has done the same thing twice and i really know how you feel. I had to tell my son the other day and we wanted to wait till 16 weeks to tell him. I'd not announce and let people gossip until your ready xx

 

[Elhaym]

Thanks Aimee. I'm in 2 minds about what to do. We have spoken to the people who've found out and told them it's a secret. So maybe it won't get round, as they say they haven't told anyone else - but I dunno if I can trust them

 

[AimeeM]

I hope you can trust them. It feels like extra pressure when other people know when your not ready for them to. Don't you think? xx

 

[MrsNormie]

If everythings ok at the scan, i would annouce it, you cannot trust people with that sort of 'gossip', its a big thing and people can't help themselves!!

When you announce it, say its really early days!!

Good luck xxx

 

[Elhaym]

Thanks for the advice all, still not sure what to do, will see what happens at scan tomorrow then play it by ear....

This sound weird but I'm almost scared about telling people early because of what they might think about it - like 'it's only 8 weeks, why is she telling people now, is she bloody daft?'

If I do announce it on fb I might put that I've been forced to tell early because word had gotten out and it's not my decision - don't want to put anything mean or bitchy, but just so they understand? Argh I'm so insecure, I care so much about what others think and I really wish I didn't

 

[SpunkyMunkey]

My hubby has less than no patience and so we told his family at 4 weeks and my family at 5 weeks, and I am at 6 weeks now. The day AFTER we found out, he accidentally told someone at work (they guessed, and he can't lie, which is annoying on the one hand, but okay on the other). Luckily, the people who figured it out have kept their mouths shut. Some people were a little surprised we were willing to tell people so early, but no one said anything rude/mean about it. Maybe if you post on FB, say something like, "Well, I guess the news is already getting around, so we thought we'd officially share it" or something, so it doesn't sound accusatory and isn't an apology for telling sooner than you would've liked, but still kind of makes the point that you didn't really WANT to tell yet. Just a thought.

 

[girlygirl:)]

I would just wait until your 12 weeks if that is what you wanted to start with. Yes some people may find out before that, but not everyone is going to find out. If people ask you "are you pregnant?" you can always deny it and then when your 12 weeks tell them sorry I lied but I didn't feel comfortable telling people at 8 weeks. I'm sure it's not as bad as you think and if you've spoken to the people that know already you might be lucky and they'll keep their gob shut..

 

[Nikki B]

My mom decided to announce it on Facebook. Like the hormonal mess I am I called her up crying and yelling and made her delete the post. At the time over half of my extended family had 'liked' it. After that I just told anyone that I would be upset if they heard through the grapevine. I didn't post on Facebook. If some of those people end up finding out early and saying something oh well. My mom made her post over a week ago and I still have yet to hear anything, so even though you may think everyone knows it might not be as bad as you think. Good luck!

 

[readytta]

I'd be pretty mad if anyone posted on FB about my pregnancy! I don't get why people think it's ok to do that. I suppose they are happy and excited but it's not their news to share really. I had a member of extended family who posted congrats on Fb when I was 10 weeks but what she hadn't heard was that I'd just had a mc. Needless to say I deleted the post as soon as it was posted.

Go with what feels right, in your situation. If you really don't want to tell then don't tell, just lie. If you feel you'd rather tell some people then tell them, in confidence in person. It's a tricky one.

We haven't told anyone this time. Hard but we just don't feel ready to yet that's all. I'm pretty sure people know but they won't say anything because they know we aren't ready to share the news yet. x