can't believe its her due date on Friday. She'll be almost 5 weeks old by then. It's strange to think I should still be pregnant! This is the first milestone her Neonatal Consultant was looking out for and she started smiling at 11w, 6w corrected. She has also started cooing a little. She still hasn't rolled from back to front but is trying so hard to sit up. 
Thank you for updating, I think of you and Phoebe often. That's a huge mix of news but I'm so glad that she is doing things that they thought she wouldn't and that she is here brightening the world with that beautiful smile
How are you feeling? Sick of people asking how you're feeling I bet 
but it's getting easier. Phoebe sleeps well but for a long time I couldn't sleep at all because when the house was quiet, I'd lie in my bed going over and over everything thinking about what I should have said and done differently. We have spoken to a lawyer though and starting that ball rolling has helped. I have also repeatedly told myself that I didn't have the benefit of hindsight but the guilt is still enormous. 
I'm so sorry. The guilt is awful, rationally you know you couldn't know what was going to happen but when it comes to our babies, there's not much rational is there? 
Oh Hun
PTSD is something I've been diagnosed with and it's horrific. I really think it's worth asking for professional help especially since you're on the legal route, we did that with Honey and it was a very long process and you have to keep going over things again and again, stuff you try (unsuccessfully) to block out. I know it's hard to ask for help though.
I am, I get growth scans every two weeks and cervix scans regularly too. I'm going to ask to be seen in the weeks between scans as my anxiety gets bad.
I know we've been through very different things but if you ever need to talk to someone who has been through medical negligence/ptsd/legal case then please please message me. You're not alone
Just saw them when I came on to update again. I see you have had your darling baby so I won't trouble you just now while you'll be basking in your newborn but when you have time, I'd love to talk about all of those things! No hurry, they said it can take up to 15 years! Congratulations, I know you must be absolutely on cloud 9 
Oooh thanks for the update! Glad to hear she is making progress. Go go Phoebe!
I think of you often because my son has CP too, though mild. I remember the long hours of thinking what ifs. Very hard not to do! Did your nicu have a psychologist? Oursreally helped me and there's no shame at all in asking!
not at all. I'm okay mostly, my anxiety gets really bad at times though. How about you? Have you had someone to talk to?
