So what does everyone think about working Mums?

[indy and lara]

You do what is right for you and your family. It is no one else's business as far as I am concerned. I don't work and haven't since Emma was born. My hubby' salary supports us and we are happy with that. We have only had joint accounts for about 10 years now so don't have his/ hers money, just our money regardless of who puts it into the pot.

I want to be at home with Emma and I will be able to pick up my career somewhere down the line. I am 14 years post graduation now so have had many years building my career and I am happy to step away from it for a while. We don't believe that children need all the latest gadgets, a designer wardrobe or foreign holidays. We are in a position that we don't need my wage to live on so it would be used for these extras so for us, in our situation, me staying at home works fine. If things were to change then my bum would be back at work immediately.

 

[taylor197878]

i get benefits i also live by myself with my kids so i rely on benefits to keeps us,

i have no choice

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

I work 3 full days a week. Because I am the higher earner, I can't be a SAHM (not that I'd want to, I'm afraid.) I think as long as your LO is in high quality childcare or with family I don't think they will suffer from having a working parent(s).

 

[celine]

i will be a sahm but only as my work only just covers childcare costs so its not worth the stress. I think your friends are a littlw narrow minded to ge honest, its not like your doing it to get away from your son, your doing it to improve his life!
Dont worry what they say your doing whats best for your family and thats all that matters

I feel the same, it wouldnt be worth it for me to work but any woman who does i think must be superwoman and a great example as well to their baby.

 

[Eala]

I don't have a job, but I'm a full-time nursing student (which is hard work, believe me! ).

I was extremely fortunate to get pretty much 11 months mat leave from my course. At that point, I had to go back, and I've now got 18 months left before I qualify.

It can be really hard leaving my daughter. I hate it when I'm on placement and I don't see her at all because I'm away before she's up and back after she's gone to bed. But I'm doing this so we can have a better future. And that's what I try to keep in mind

It's one of these really personal decisions. No two people have the same circumstances or though processes. Only you can know what is right for you, and chances are it wouldn't be right for the next person

 

[marie73]

I'm taking nearly 12 months off work but am returning. At the moment it looks like I may have to go back full time - I have requested part time hours and am hoping I will be able to go back part time. I have a good well paid job - I worked very hard to get to the position I'm at now so don't want to sacrifice that and we need my income to continue with our current good standard of living with holidays, home improvements, running 2 decent cars etc. I'm loving my time with lo and hope I don't have to go back to work full time. For me I think working 3 days a week would be the perfect compromise - I do love my job and colleagues and like being challenged but I also want to look after my lo too. I hate it when people make sweeping statements about working moms - all my friends work and their children are growing up with a work ethic and at the end of the day their kids are always priority. As other people have said it's easy to comment when you're not in that situation. Good luck - we all do what we have to do to live after all.

 

[KittyVentura]

I'm lucky in that my husband earns a very good wage (In a year he's had payrises which amount to half of my salary... and I wasn't on bad money myself) so we can live comfortably and continue our standard of living while I'm a SAHM. Not a day goes by where I don't think to myself that I am extremely lucky to have this option.

I respect and admire mothers that work... it must be very hard to leave LO every day and so to be working and being selfless to help your family... Well I think it's fab.

I do think there needs to be the right work/home balance though... I see all these celebs that are back working every hour imaginable when they have a tiny baby and think that they can't possibly be spending much time with their baby xx

 

[Feltzy]

Don't listen to your friends they're being idiots! I don't have any thoughts on working mums, everyones circumstance is different and unfortunately not everyone can afford not to work! And even if a mother wants to return to work just because she likes working then so what, its her decision. I went back to work 4 days a week after having Evie, I probably didn't have to but I liked earning my own money and I loved my job. I can't go back now because I can't afford the childcare for 2 and I'm lucky enough to be in a position where I can stay at home, I would never rub it in someone elses face just because they're not in the same position though!

 

[SKATERBUN]

I having to return to work when LO is 11 months and she has a full time nursery place, no way could i personally go sooner, even though our money is tight, im even having to go without any income for the next 3 months.
I dont want to go back at all now, some days i think its for the best longterm for all of us and actually make myself look forwards to going back but today i feel sad about it all,probaby because I'm a bit hormonal this week

 

[rainbows_x]

I will be a SAHM for as long as it takes to find a another job.
Luckily OH works a good job, does 40-60 hours a week and we can live comfortably, we are moving out to our own house in two weeks so I will have to get a job as we we be tightening our belts.

I don't mind as I would like to feel like me again, as I don't get much help with Ava and OH is at work alot I spend all my time with Ava, whch I obviously love, but I am looking forward to having a little part time job.

We will probably be asking my parents/his mum/my sister to take her for a few hours a day as we can't afford childcare really, and I'd want her to be with people she knows.

 

[CharlieKeys]

I personally wouldn't want to work until my kids are in school - I feel really strongly that I want my kids to feel that mummy's always around when they need me and although I will put them into nursery one day a week at some point - I'm doing that for their social skills. I'm lucky that my OH can support us whilst I'm a SAHM, but he has also told me he wants me to look after them. I'm under the impression that I gave birth to him (and the next one) and therefore it's my responsiblity to see them grow up and help in that. Plus anything I earn will just get taken up by childcare, so I'd be working to have my kids looked after :-/ Which seems pointless to me! lol

I'm not against working mums because I realise everyone's situation is different and my opinion is not meant ot make anyone feel guilty or bad I also understand how some mum's need to returnt o work for 'sanity' purposes (if that makes sense). But whilst I'm staying at home I'm finishing my university degree with the OU so when they go to school I can complete my teacher training.

 

[amygwen]

I think your friends are ridiculous to say that. I think my LO and I have a STRONGER relationship because I work. I don't want to be a SAHM, I need to work to feel like I'm 'pulling my weight'. I would be very unhappy stuck in a house all day with a baby, getting out rarely to go to groups. I enjoy the fact that I get my alone time every day and than I get to come home, be excited about seeing him and than just having the rest of the day to cuddle and spend with him. I can't imagine it any other way. I think working moms are fantastic I don't personally know any mothers who don't work.

 

[surprisemummy]

i work weekends and i dont feel guilty. its a crappy job and crappy wage but i love the people and i dont want to get into the habit of not working. x

 

[Lightworker]

IMO being a mom is the most important job a woman has but it is NOT the only job. I will be going back to work and uni when LO is 1 yr old but will work 4 days only so have 3 days with her. Going to work is not just a job for me, I have huge humanitarian ambitions so its a calling really. Also, nursery is not just a place where LO is dumped while I work, she learns,makes friends, gains independence & social skills, diversity etcwhich she wouldnt if I was with her 24/7. Its a mutually benefician arrangement.

 

[popat]

I will be working full time when LO is a few months old. I'd love to have at least 9 months off to look after him and then go part time but unfortunately I'm the main earner (make 2X as much as DH) and we just can't afford it.

 

[aliss]

I've done both. Went back for a few months when Alex was 12 weeks then at 5 months became a SAHM. Dr. Sears has a good article about this ~ you can be a full-time mother when working and you can be a part-time mother staying at home ~ what matters is how you use your time with your baby

If you are a working mom, you put your career. before your baby. If you are a stay at home mom, you are lazy and eat bonbons all day. CAN WE EVER WIN???

 

[louandivy]

I've done both. Went back for a few months when Alex was 12 weeks then at 5 months became a SAHM. Dr. Sears has a good article about this ~ you can be a full-time mother when working and you can be a part-time mother staying at home ~ what matters is how you use your time with your baby

If you are a working mom, you put your career. before your baby. If you are a stay at home mom, you are lazy and eat bonbons all day. CAN WE EVER WIN???

I wish!

I don't intend to be a SAHM forever. No offence to Ivy but I would get sooo bored! Luckily we are fortunate enough that I can stay with her for the first few years but once she starts nursery I will finish my degree and hopefully go into documentary research. But if I had to back to work before this I wouldn't feel guilty at all!

 

[Baby France]

How ridiculous of your friends to make such silly comments...I've had the same from a friend but I think thats her way of trying to make herself feel better about not working tbh.

I completely agree with Aliss too, you can be a SAHM but then not spend any quality time with the kids!

I've got to go back full time, I'm not allowed part time and although my wage will pay solely for child care & our mortgage its silly of me to give up a well paid job that I adore in full knowlegde that with the climate the way it is atm I wouldn't be able to get it back when they start school. My OH works shifts so he'll be looking after them during the week too.

I adore my children and I want to give them everything I can, including a nice holiday every year. I want to be able to afford for them to do all the activities they want too. I'm looking forward to adult conversation!

I agree with Lellow, even if I won the lottery I think I'd still have to do something with my time. Being a mum doesn't stop me from being a person who needs my own 'Me' time and work will do that too

 

[Marzipan_girl]

I don't want to be a SAHM forever either...although i'm not really sure what to do as if I take my place up at uni i'm anxious about childcare etc.
I contribute to the household with my own money from inheritence, so i'm paying my way although not working lol. OH works and pays the other half, although when my inheritence runs out he'll be paying the whole way.
There really is only so much of walking the river and talking to a baby who doesn't really add much to the conversation I can take TBH. I loooveee my son, and I love being with him...but I can't hack it all day every day. So tell your friends to pee off, because they have no idea how crazy being a SAHM can make you!
I have no problem with those who DO want to be SAHM's though. Whatevers best for you I think. I hate it when others judge.

 

[Hayley90]

i went back 1 day a week when harrison was 6 weeks old... and full time when he was 11 weeks old... working mums are brilliant!

You get to keep your independance, and have "me" time.
You earn your own money... regardless of where you spend it, that alone is fulfilling!
You teach LO work ethic and values
You will have a lot more opportunities from working... benefits wont get you a mortgage to a bigger house, or a nice car!

Overall, yeah you miss out on little day to day things, but working gives you & LOs a better quality of life imo.... obviously each person is different, but i dont think i could be a SAHM until harrison was 4... id be bored and my skills would be useless by then.


i think your friends are clueless tbh... money makes the world go round, someone has to earn it!