Well.... lol
I was married for 20+ years to a man who constantly cheated on me. I had 2 children with him and they are now grown (19 and 22 years old).
In June 2008, I left him and started my life over at the age of 38. Best thing I ever did for myself. It was a long hard road but worth it in the end.
Was in a rebound relationship and became pregnant in December 2009. I miscarried in January 2010. I had never considered having children again and my doctor had said it would be very difficult to concieve (sic) given my hormonal issues at the time. She was wrong, obviously. I didn't realize I was pregnant when I miscarried and my rebound relationship had ended just a week prior to the miscarriage. So I don't have alot of sentimental issues with the miscarriage. I did have a time of reflection, though, and decided that it might be nice to have another child if I could find someone worthy of being a father to my child. I was online dating and many of the 40 year old men were single and had never had children.
In May 2010, an old acquaintance from high school saw me on an online dating site and we started hanging out. I knew from the moment I laid eyes on him that he was someone who would forever be in my life. He is almost 42 and has been single without children all his life. He always wanted a child but never could find the right girl. (Here I am! lol!) We have been together ever since.
We had discussed the child issue and decided, if it happened, it happened and if it didn't then so be it. I'm 41 this year so I knew the clock was winding down. I am going on a bucket list trip to Italy in 2 weeks. My personal plan was to start looking into my ability to have a child when I returned. I have been charting my AF since Jan 2010. I purchased LH strips to start using upon my return to chart that. I made an appointment in June with a fertility specialist. I was and am worried that my uterus hates me and won't carry to term.
When the LH strips came in, there were 10 free hcg strips. I was a day or two late on my AF. No biggie. Sometimes that happens, ya know? Anyway, for giggles, I "tested" out the hcg strips................................................................ and got a very faint line........................ I thought maybe my eyes were deceiving me. It was very faint. So I waited a day and retested. Still a faint line but darker now......... yikes! I freaked out and pulled an Equate hpt from my medicine cabinet and that also showed positive with a faint line! Holy Toledo!
Due to my miscarriage in January 2010, I started FREAKING out for real and called my doc. We scheduled a beta for today and I will probably retest on Monday and then I will see her. My initial concerns are to be sure that the embryo is where it is supposed to be. I don't want to be in Italy and have an ectopic pregnancy emergency. My next concern is getting to the 2nd trimester.
I have not said anything to my loving bf. He will be very happy and excited when he hears bu I don't want to let him down. If I were to miscarry early on, it may be devastating to someone who has always wanted a child but hasn't yet had the chance to have one. I'm thinking of not telling him until I get back from Italy and have a scan to be sure everything is okay first. I just don't want him to be hurt. Of course, if he's paying any attention, he may realize and question my lack of AF before that time and I'll have to tell him... but I will cross that bridge when I come to it.
Hmmm... I'm thinking my story is very long right now... sorry! lol!
to all
sadly I lost her at 18 weeks, I gave birth to my Ava and we buried her on 3/11 . Very hard thing to go through, actually broke my heart.
It is amazing!! I don't think you ever really relax, especially when you have had a loss, but try to remain positive - I am sure you will be in to your third trimester before you know it. Oh and by the way I am very nearly 38 and expecting my first LO!! 
