"So when are you two going to have babies then??"

[Goldielocks44]

Hi everyone!

I'm new to this site and this is my 1st post

We have been trying to conceive for nearly a year now with no success yet
Feels like it always seems to be the way that you are surrounded by people who are either pregnant or just had a baby! I make a big fuss of my friends who have had or are having a baby, but at times it's so hard to put a brave face on it all the time, when we are ttc and desperately want a family. Don't get me wrong I am so happy for them......it's just hard isn't it.

What's made it harder lately is that when I've been visiting new
Mums is that people always make comments like "Come on, get a move on and have a baby" or "It's your turn now" or "don't you want children". I know they don't really know me but it really does hurt like hell. And makes me want to scream out loud DON'T YOU THINK I'M TRYING!!!!

Sorry guys it's a bit of a depressing 1st thread but I just wondered if I'm alone in feeling this way-almost makes me feel like a bad person for feeling this way

Thanks everyone and nice to meet you

Goldielocks xxxx

 

[Annubrius]

Hi everyone!

I'm new to this site and this is my 1st post

We have been trying to conceive for nearly a year now with no success yet
Feels like it always seems to be the way that you are surrounded by people who are either pregnant or just had a baby! I make a big fuss of my friends who have had or are having a baby, but at times it's so hard to put a brave face on it all the time, when we are ttc and desperately want a family. Don't get me wrong I am so happy for them......it's just hard isn't it.

What's made it harder lately is that when I've been visiting new
Mums is that people always make comments like "Come on, get a move on and have a baby" or "It's your turn now" or "don't you want children". I know they don't really know me but it really does hurt like hell. And makes me want to scream out loud DON'T YOU THINK I'M TRYING!!!!

Sorry guys it's a bit of a depressing 1st thread but I just wondered if I'm alone in feeling this way-almost makes me feel like a bad person for feeling this way

Thanks everyone and nice to meet you

Goldielocks xxxx

Welcome to the forums, Goldie!

Keep your chin up, girl! You've found a community of both support and encouragement.

I've not been here long myself and I've found a lot of helping hands along with a wealth of information.

We're all here to cheer you on! I know it's really hard to watch people have children around you when you try so hard. My best friend has already had 4 children and they all seemed to come by accident..

My family has been asking my husband and I the same question as the thread title.. and all we say is, 'When we're ready.' Of course they have no Idea we're currently TTC.

Again! Best of luck to you on your soon! Lots of baby and to you and your OH.

 

[kelz86]

totally have the same thing said to me all the time "yr sis has two wen r u havin one" all blokes my oh works wiv are like marc its yr turn now when u havin one he just laffs it off and says we're still doin up the house so cnt afford one me i just change sub or say we will have one wen we're ready x

 

[lushgirl84]

welcome to the forum, I know how you feel, my OH`s Niece asked me yesterday when are we gonna have a baby, I so want another cousin! She doesnt know we are trying so i wasnt sure what to say.

She is 22 with 4 children and she has PCOS.. So depressing, esp as she cant look after the kiddies.

 

[DaisyBee]

Welcome to b&b!

I've found it very tough lately when people comment on us having another, a sibling for Megan, how long are we waiting for #2? etc.... We've had 2 miscarriages since Megan and these people don't know and I'm not planning on telling them. Its hard to put on a brave face though....

 

[lushgirl84]

My DD is called megan too lol

 

[ceejie]

I get this question all the time. It is so frustrating, especially since my mc. I usually just say somethung vague like we will at some point, or not ready yet...but really we are trying.

Good luck. I hope you find this forum as helpful as I have, I used to feel like I was so alone in all this, but it's nice to see how many other women are going through the same thing and understand me.

 

[FragileDoll]

Hi everyone!

I'm new to this site and this is my 1st post

We have been trying to conceive for nearly a year now with no success yet
Feels like it always seems to be the way that you are surrounded by people who are either pregnant or just had a baby! I make a big fuss of my friends who have had or are having a baby, but at times it's so hard to put a brave face on it all the time, when we are ttc and desperately want a family. Don't get me wrong I am so happy for them......it's just hard isn't it.

What's made it harder lately is that when I've been visiting new
Mums is that people always make comments like "Come on, get a move on and have a baby" or "It's your turn now" or "don't you want children". I know they don't really know me but it really does hurt like hell. And makes me want to scream out loud DON'T YOU THINK I'M TRYING!!!!

Sorry guys it's a bit of a depressing 1st thread but I just wondered if I'm alone in feeling this way-almost makes me feel like a bad person for feeling this way

Thanks everyone and nice to meet you

Goldielocks xxxx

I hear ya, hun. It's depressing, I'm in the same boat. I second that it really DO HURT a lot.

 

[Conina]

Ooooh even seeing the title of this thread makes me mad!!! Hate that question!!!

 

[Goldielocks44]

Thank you ladies!!

It's so nice to not feel alone with these feelings and to
Maybe even feel that I'm normal...ish!!! Lol!!

Lots of love and baby dust to you all, our time will
Come ;0) xxxx

 

[Mazierocks]

Hi
We are the same too. Work was the worst - people asking when u going to have a baby not knowing that we have fertility issues and tbh I didn't want them to know. Also older siblings all of whom have children - I am fifth of 6 children and an Aunty to 8! My dad passed away last week and now I feel the need to have a child more than ever. Waiting on our referral and using a few helpful tips of her meanwhile! GD luck to all x

 

[Conina]

Mazie - sorry to hear about your dad but you know he'll be looking out for you

 

[Mazierocks]

Yes - I think so

 

[mjemma]

We have been TTC for 14 months and recently I have been honest with my friends about it. I have actually found this much easier than bottling it up and found them all very supportive. When people who I am not close to ask I usually just say 'we are working on it' in a slightly pointed way and that usually shuts them up.

 

[mrshanna]

Goldie---welcome to BnB!!!

Mazie---I am so so sorry about your Dad!

I have tried a few different approaches to deflecting the questions about kids. My usual response is to say "We just havent been that lucky yet", and to be sure to say It in a slightly sad tone. That will shut up the ones that think you arent interested in having kids from asking why that would be. And if said with just enough saddness in the tone, it will also shut up the ones who think youre not trying hard enough.

MY favorite is the folks who respond with "Well if you just stop trying so hard, it will happen." Really??? I believe that Christ is going to return, but Im not expecting to be the next recipient of an immaculate conception.

( I hope no offense has been taken to the prior comment. It wasnt meant as sacriledge, just a joke. I truly am a believer.)

 

[nevernormal]

Seems like a lot of us ladies feel that way! I've gotten to the point that I'm pretty honest about it with people I am close to, but to others a lot of time my answer is "Not for another 9 months, at least!"

 

[fizzypop]

I second Mrs Hanna! I was going to say if anyone asks that just burst into tears, that'll shut them up!

Why do people feel it's ok to ask that question?! Makes me so mad. If they were close enough to you to know the answer then they would already know it!!!!

 

[InnerElement]

Goldie---welcome to BnB!!!

Mazie---I am so so sorry about your Dad!

I have tried a few different approaches to deflecting the questions about kids. My usual response is to say "We just havent been that lucky yet", and to be sure to say It in a slightly sad tone. That will shut up the ones that think you arent interested in having kids from asking why that would be. And if said with just enough saddness in the tone, it will also shut up the ones who think youre not trying hard enough.

MY favorite is the folks who respond with "Well if you just stop trying so hard, it will happen." Really??? I believe that Christ is going to return, but Im not expecting to be the next recipient of an immaculate conception.

( I hope no offense has been taken to the prior comment. It wasnt meant as sacriledge, just a joke. I truly am a believer.)

Me & my OH have been married almost 3yrs and want to have a baby so bad we always get asked the same question. It's been especially difficult because my 38yr old sister unexpectedly got pregnant. She didn't think it would happen at her age since her first son is 16yrs old!! I'm happy for her and my newly born nephew but she keeps telling me to not think about it and it will happen. How can I not think about it when I have to take meds (clomid) then hopefully wait for Ovulation, then do the baby making dance, then wait to take a pregnancy test!!! And when that test is negative (like it has been the past several months) then AF comes, then start this whole cycle again with meds etc!!!!! Sorry I'm venting here because AF came on 7/15 Thanks for listening and I wish all the ladies here TTC baby dust and fingers crossed

 

[Clucky as]

When people ask me I feel like bursting in to tears. So I use the sad tone I am feeling and say we are trying and I don't won't to dwell on it ok. And they back right off. Oh yes except for the really helpful people that say just stop trying and it will happen. Really so if we don't have sex for a month that's when it will happen wow thanx for that.next time we are trying I'm not telling anyone

 

[mrshanna]

@InnerElement.....Ya its tough to relax about it when your life has turned into a science experiment. I took Clomid for two cycles (unsuccesfully obviously), but decided not to do any more since my doctor wasnt monitoring me in any way. I do still do OPKs though. I feel like I have to have SOME idea whats going on in there!