Socialising with Aspie toddler?

[OmiOmen]

As a little bit of background my son is almost two and not diagnosed with asperger's syndrome but I am fairly sure he has it. Now I know kids are different and it is hard to tell so young but I am fairly sure, although will not bore you with a list of why since that is not really my question. I knew he was 'different' since he was about 3 months old and yet thought he could not be on the Autistic spectrum simple because all I knew about was low functioning Autism. After reading up online I came across asperger's syndrome and it explained me so well too (also I have read the is a genetic element to it and on one side of my family someone has strong case of it, on the other side most people have tendencies and I believe one of my sisters is more medium-functioning). So my son being an Apspie is far from a problem, he fits in just fine.

What I need some advice about is the issue of socialisation. I will not be forcing him into interacting with people he doesn't want to but feel I should make sure he has opportunity to. As of last week we started going to a toddler dance class which he hated at first and was particularly concerned someone would tamper with his drink. We almost left but in the end he had calmed down and was having fun. But he was not interacting with the other kids or really following the instruction well but in his own way was enjoying himself. Although at one point he lined up with the other kids and briefly acknowledged they were there. It was the first situation like this we have been in and it was strange to really see so clearly how he is a bit different. I am happy for him to take the lead with what he is comfortable with but the issue is more the other parents. One of the other mothers was really nice and went out of her way to be extra nice to him as did the teacher but I got the feeling that the other mothers were uncomfortable with him being there. Being a (still undiagnosed) Aspie myself I do not exactly love been in a room full of people either. I do not really know where the question is going but I was just hoping someone could share simpler experiences or give advise?

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Hi

Another (undiagnosed) aspie mum here too. My son has diagnosed autism.

When he was a toddler I must admit that I found it hard to find things to do with him as at this stage he was undiagnosed and I wondered why he hated other kids so much!

I now only really go to special events for SN kids as I just find them easier!

What about a quiet crafts group? So he can be around others but its not too hetic, or woodland walk groups?

 

[OmiOmen]

He does not exactly hate going, he just really does his own thing and ignores the other kids. I think when he gets older something for SN kids would be a lot better if I can find something in the area. The worst bit really is some of the other parents feeling uncomfortable which makes me feel really useless (if that even makes sense).

 

[BabyJ'sMummy]

My son is just under 2 and is being assessed for ASD at the mo, although I've been told the earliest they will diagnose is 3. I went to a Mum's and Toddler's recently but left after 3 times because DS was more interested in one of the doors than the other children or toys so I know where you are coming from. Are you sure that the other parent's feel uncomfortable, I know I sometimes have it in my head what people think because I'm worried about how they perceive him but I generally don't think it's the case. Have you had him assessed yet at all? Just by starting the assessment process we've managed to gain access to some help and have met some parents who are in the same boat as us xx

 

[sophxx]

My lo isn't diagnosed with anything although they keep sending us speech therapy ect I know that there's something just a little bit different about him. We tryed music class he didn't want to do he just crawled round in circles we tryed toddler group but he got stressed as they were very focused on set routine which is no good he also wasn't aloud do to listen to music whnehe git stressed which hedies at home on his I pod so the tantrums went from being manageable to out of hand.

So we left hlwe go to story time at the library he loves it as it's quite free if he doesn't want to sit with others he doesn't they have a craft table so he spends most of his time there or in the junior book sections as he doesn't like toddler books. We also attend a forest school class its all based outside and in yurts they build dens make bread ect. And he loves it as he can please him self. We spend time at the toddler cinema and we're going to try expri tots at the science museum as that is free play.

Hope you find detailed something that he enjoys I also hate being in a room full of people I panic that's whys we like the outdoor toddler groups. X

 

[JASMAK]

My daughter was diagnosed with autism at age 2 but not with Aspergers. She was diagnosed with PDD-NOS and now it's classic autism. I do have a friend whose son (who is now an adult) and he has Aspergers. I think the hardest thing for him is that he wants friends and doesn't understand why people don't like him, or how to interact with other's. Its not that he doesn't want to be with people. He loves people, but he just doesn't know how to interact. LIke his dad says, he has nothing to offer in a friendship. Even my own daughter...she LOVES LOVES LOVES people...she loves her 'friends'. In fact, I came on this section for a reason today. M was not invited to any of the birthday parties that went on this weekend. Two of which were her 'good friends' and she was devestated. My advice..get the help socially. He may seem like he prefers to be alone, but that may be because he feels like he doesn't know how to act or what is expected of him. This and has always been the case with my daughter too. She will hang back or not play with people because she doesn't know how, or what is expected, but I can guarantee she LOVES people. She does. It breaks my heart, because right now, there is nothing more that my daughter wants than a true friend and to play and be with all the girls at school.