some people!

[gemabee]

grrrr... if i see one more post of this forum (obviously not the single parent section) off non - single parents saying things like they feel like a single parent because their partner isn't communicating as much, or as affectionate, or works a lot... or even wishin they were a single parent because they are arguin with their oh's over baby's name nd want their own way... i am actually gonna explode.
do people not actually understand how much we would give to be in their position!?
what a kick in the teeth.

 

[AbbynChloe]

Well Said!!! You cannot possibly imagine what it is like to be a single parent unless you are one!

 

[gemabee]

i'm not sayin these people aren't havin a hard time of it... they obviously are.
but to compare it to bein a single parent where most of us have been abandoned by the men we love, forced to struggle through pregnancy / parenthood by ourselves, mostly with little (often with no) help from fob's whatsoever... is an absolute joke.
i would do anythin (especially at this stage in my pregnancy nd with some of the things that have happened to me recently) to have someone to share the burden with... even if they were distant or moody or didn't like my name choice!
come on people... kick us while we're down!!

 

[teal]

I agree that mums (and dads) in relationships still struggle and find it hard at times but I agree being a single parent is not the same as having your other half working long hours

ps: gemabee you don't have long now!

 

[gemabee]

I agree that mums (and dads) in relationships still struggle and find it hard at times but I agree being a single parent is not the same as having your other half working long hours

ps: gemabee you don't have long now!

yey i know
i'm all ready... nursery done. clothes washed nd put away. hospital bag by the front door.
come on baby i'm ready for u now

ps. jus read someone's post where it says... 'there's something worse than bein pregnant alone... bein pregnant when ur oh doesn't care'... or somethin like that.
aaarrrggghh!!! thank god i've got u other lovely single parents to rant at or i'd end up startin arguments
xx

 

[gemabee]

oooh nd @ teal... i notice u've been breastfeedin... i plan on doin this but if i struggle can i pm u for help nd advice?
xx

 

[charlotte-xo]

im not gonna be a single parent..however after seeing how much my mum struggled to bring me and my brother up on her own i agree with everyone above ^^ i mean i moan about my oh to my mum and she even tells me to think how lucky i am....

--x

 

[gemabee]

im not gonna be a single parent..however after seeing how much my mum struggled to bring me and my brother up on her own i agree with everyone above ^^ i mean i moan about my oh to my mum and she even tells me to think how lucky i am....

--x

cheers hun... i'm not tryin to say that pregnancy or relationships aren't difficult in a 'normal' relationship... jus that people don't realise that no matter how lonely they may be... or hard they find it... bein single nd a parent is harder jus because we have no-one to give us support or share the burden with.
everything is relative but i wish some people wouldn't post such disrespectful nd hurtful (to us singletons) posts.
argh! think the hormones have got to me this mornin

 

[teal]

oooh nd @ teal... i notice u've been breastfeedin... i plan on doin this but if i struggle can i pm u for help nd advice?
xx

Feel free to pm me anytime

Go you being all organised!

It's hard being pregnant on your own. Once you're little one is here you won't have as much time to think about it. It's still hard - I was in tears when I was registering my son and the women takind his details was really good about it all and said at least this way I have him all to myself. Made me smile to think of it like that.

Some people either don't think or just don't realise what they say can be hurtful. My sister is always complaining about her inlaws and has said, more than once, that I should be grateful I don't have any to deal with

 

[gemabee]

oooh nd @ teal... i notice u've been breastfeedin... i plan on doin this but if i struggle can i pm u for help nd advice?
xx

Feel free to pm me anytime

Go you being all organised!

It's hard being pregnant on your own. Once you're little one is here you won't have as much time to think about it. It's still hard - I was in tears when I was registering my son and the women takind his details was really good about it all and said at least this way I have him all to myself. Made me smile to think of it like that.

Some people either don't think or just don't realise what they say can be hurtful. My sister is always complaining about her inlaws and has said, more than once, that I should be grateful I don't have any to deal with

people jus don't think

nd the whole havin him all to myself way is a good way to think bout it!
xx

 

[Nut_Shake]

I moan about my hubby and how he doesn't 'get it' sometimes and I cry and get stupid. But I just read this and have gotten a bit teary, i've not really even thought about how hard it would be if he wasn't around and completely take it for granted.
I have the utmost respect and admiration for you ladies, you are actually amazing. I'm sure it must be beyond difficult sometimes, but you all have the strength to raise your babies without interference from someone else who may have not been a positive influence on you or your babies lives anyway.
Anyway, I just wanted to say that xxxx

 

[aob1013]

I'm sure in one of my posts recently i have said i feel like single parent. My OH has his own business so is out out the house 12 hours a day usually 7 days a week. I hardly see him and neither does Leni, but the time OH gets home he see's Leni for around an hour. So yes, sometimes i DO feel like i am on my own. I don't think you should take it as a personal dig, it's just how people feel.

Although i don't think people should say it in a take the piss kind of way, i mean't it though.

 

[Tracy76]

I have had it both ways, as this is my fourth pregnancy. I had my first when I was alone and 17, my next two when I was married, and this one should be here any day. The father to this one totally abandoned me early on while I have a blood clot in my leg and two young children to take care of all on my own. I do have to say though, as tough as this pregnancy has been, I am thankful that I do not have the fob around to make it even worse!! When I was pregnant with my middle two kids, AND married, it was hard in a different way.....

I mean, I feel lonely and overwhelmed on the best of days now, however back then, my husband was so useless that I felt trapped and almost tortured on a daily basis. He would say mean things, be completely selfish, and I had all the emotional drama of a bad relationship on top of being pregnant and doing it alone while "married". I'm sure there are a lot of women out there complaining about their OH's for minor stuff, but I also know first hand how devastating it can feel to deal with real relationship problems, abuse, AND being "alone" during pregnancy.

I've got to admit, I will take being single and doing everything completely on my own, even with a blood clot in my leg and bed rest and a 6 and 7 year old.... over doing all of that with an abusive, or neglectful or mean OH making life so much more unbearable.

There are positives and negatives on both sides. I guess the trick is, no matter what our situation may be, is to find the happy medium somewhere in the middle and to try to create our own happiness. I'm getting my tubes tied after this baby, so I guess I will never know what it's like to really have an OH that is there for me during this time.... but I do have to admit, I am sooooo thankful that this time around I can be grateful for being alone. As hard as that is....

And to all you ladies who do have a pretty decent OH, I hope you can be grateful for the luxuries you DO have that some of us will never, ever know....

On another note.... Gem when are you due?? I'm waiting any day now too... my bags are packed and I am sooooo ready to go!! I'm so happy my little man will be here and I can hold him in my arms rather than my belly!!

 

[bloodbinds]

I understand how you feel hun. I find it difficult when people moan about their OHs and complain when we all wish we had them! Lol. But at the same time i remember when i was with my OH and how much i moaned (rightly so!) and how much it helped to have a moan, so i understand why they do it.

And when woman compare themselves to being a single mum - they said it feels like they are because they are looking after LO on their own most of the time. But being a single mum is worse than looking after LO on your own. It's the knowledge that you are on your own in this. That every night you are lying an empty bed (unless you co-sleep of course! Lol) and you have no one to talk to about the little things your LO does. The little things only a parent would care about.
So even if your OH isn't there most of the time, at least you know you are loved, and you have that support if you need it. Single mummies don't have that xx

 

[lal]

I'm sure they don't mean it in a bad way, but it is inconsiderate to say to a struggling single parent - it would be like complaining about your tired feet to a paralyzed person...and whether your partner is with your child 1 hour a day or once a month, there is a difference knowing somebody is out there caring about you AND your child(ren)...it would make everything else easier. There are good and bad to both sides, but people in a relationship at least have the option of staying or not, if it's that bad...single parents are without that option.

 

[gemabee]

I'm sure in one of my posts recently i have said i feel like single parent. My OH has his own business so is out out the house 12 hours a day usually 7 days a week. I hardly see him and neither does Leni, but the time OH gets home he see's Leni for around an hour. So yes, sometimes i DO feel like i am on my own. I don't think you should take it as a personal dig, it's just how people feel.

Although i don't think people should say it in a take the piss kind of way, i mean't it though.

hey hun this has nothin to do with any of ur posts... nd like i said i understand that people will find it hard... everythin is relative to each individual situation.
however u do have an oh who is out providin for u... nd someone to share the burden with nd someone to love u... ie. my employers decided not to pay me for an entire month (sorted now btw)... but i had no partner to help with rent / bills / food nd i didn't know how i'd cope... even a cuddle would have helped!
so even tho i don't doubt its hard for u... in the same respect... its not the same thing, which is why i've chosen to moan here where other women see my point.

i have no problem with people moanin bout their oh's nd wishin they supported them more ... the only problem i have is when people say stupid thoughtless things... throwaway comments... like wishin they were single mums so they can have their own way.

 

[expecting09]

But being a single mum is worse than looking after LO on your own. It's the knowledge that you are on your own in this. That every night you are lying an empty bed (unless you co-sleep of course! Lol) and you have no one to talk to about the little things your LO does. The little things only a parent would care about.
So even if your OH isn't there most of the time, at least you know you are loved, and you have that support if you need it. Single mummies don't have that xx

This is how I've been trying to describe it for so long, but the words were on the tip of my tongue! You hit the nail right on the head

Not having a partner around because they are working or whatever doesn't really compare to not having anyone, at anytime.

 

[suzanne108]

I know exactly what you mean! Its the posts asking how much other peoples OHs help out with baby that get to me BUT I know that if I did have an OH and he was a lazy so and so I'd be moaning too

Its not so much the physical support we need, its emotional support. I was feeding Lola a couple of weeks ago & spotted her first little tooth had popped through the gum, I was so excited but I had no one to tell

I do sometimes think though that having a man around would make things more complicated maybe thats just me! Just try to ignore any posts like that hun, your hormones are running riot at the moment just remember that everyone needs a moan sometimes and there is ALWAYS going to be someone worse off but people can't be expected to think like that all the time

Don't get me started on people that moan they are tired though

 

[gemabee]

thanku for all ur posts ladies... readin my original post back i sounded so angry!
i'm such a hormonal cow at the minute!!

i still stand by my post... but i also accept everythin is relative nd that in some respects i am lucky that i get my little boy all to myself!!!!

i would love a big man cuddle every now nd again tho

xx

 

[bloodbinds]

But being a single mum is worse than looking after LO on your own. It's the knowledge that you are on your own in this. That every night you are lying an empty bed (unless you co-sleep of course! Lol) and you have no one to talk to about the little things your LO does. The little things only a parent would care about.
So even if your OH isn't there most of the time, at least you know you are loved, and you have that support if you need it. Single mummies don't have that xx

This is how I've been trying to describe it for so long, but the words were on the tip of my tongue! You hit the nail right on the head

Not having a partner around because they are working or whatever doesn't really compare to not having anyone, at anytime.

I'm pretty awesome like that