some people!

[gemabee]

It couldn't have been anymore offensive than the post on the previous page!

haha... point!
its nice how she came into this forum... gave me a bashin for no reason nd has disappeared.
i still don't think non single mums 'get it' tho... which i suppose is why we have our own forum tucked away from the normal people

 

[winegums]

apple blossom are you stalking me or something!

when did i say here i was talking about myself
jeeze louise talk about the assumptions today

i dont wish i was a single parent, never have, hopefully never will

unfortunately some people feel down about their relationships and i was pointing out that are they not allowed to feel like that?

i've known people, including people on this forum who have been very happy as a single parent and very unhappy in a relationship and vice versa

so i don't think it's fair to have a go at them

but sorry blah and appleblossom are monitoring my posts so i better shhhhhhhh now

 

[winegums]

i hadn't disapeared yet?

 

[gemabee]

I dunno tbh. It depends how much the dad helps with the baby. my OH didnt help me with Amelie whatsoever when she was a baby. He does now (he plays with her and gets up with her on a sat morning) but when she was little I seriously did EVERYTHING.

nd u didn't offend me hun... like i KEEP sayin... everythin is relative.
i don't doubt that it was extremely difficult nd lonely when u were bein the sole carer of ur child... but its still not the same as bein a single mum.

 

[AppleBlossom]

apple blossom are you stalking me or something!

when did i say here i was talking about myself
jeeze louise talk about the assumptions today

i dont wish i was a single parent, never have, hopefully never will

unfortunately some people feel down about their relationships and i was pointing out that are they not allowed to feel like that?

i've known people, including people on this forum who have been very happy as a single parent and very unhappy in a relationship and vice versa

so i don't think it's fair to have a go at them

but sorry blah and appleblossom are monitoring my posts so i better shhhhhhhh now

Damn, I've been busted

And there's no point in this thread where anyone has said people in relationships aren't entitled to a moan as well

 

[PeanutBean]

Apple's driven me here! Lol. My twopennies worth - I have NO idea how single parents manage. Between finances, childcare, taking care of LO and then the added complications there may be of I'll health or whatever, my heart goes out to all of you. My sister was a single mum for about 8 years but she was lucky and got all the support off my parents. DH's mum was single with him, well til just a few years ago. She's nuts and I don't like her much but blimey, she worked ft, she studied accountancy with the OU for 7 years, she brought them up from council house to now super gorgeous half a mil house, AND DH is amazing!

It's true that not every relationship is equal about childcare but it's a very very bad one where one partner contributes literally nothing.

 

[gemabee]

unfortunately some people feel down about their relationships and i was pointing out that are they not allowed to feel like that?

but did i not say that i don't have anythin against these complaints... my only complaint is with the silly throwaway comments.
u had a go at me for no reason whatsoever.

 

[winegums]

unfortunately some people feel down about their relationships and i was pointing out that are they not allowed to feel like that?

but did i not say that i don't have anythin against these complaints... my only complaint is with the silly throwaway comments.
u had a go at me for no reason whatsoever.

sorry i didn't mean to have a 'go' at you there has just been so many frustrating posts on here tonight.

i thought it was unfair the way you acted as though parents in relationship have no idea what it's like to be a single parent when many of them have and their comments are a kick in the teeth to you, when it's just how they are feeling.

it may feel like it would be easier to have a child with a partner around, but instead of your and your LOs mess maybe the OH is an idiot and leaves his crap everywhere and then it's even more to deal with. and he keeps you up at night so you don't just have the baby but an OH either i don't know snoring or playing games or playing musci or WHATEVER. or the people with OHs who just down right dnt give two craps and they live with someone who doesn't give a sh*t about them or their LO but maybe are too unhappy or scared or alone or poor or whatever other reason to leave

 

[rburke]

just being pregnant and single sucks!!! while he's off doing.....God knows what with his life. It's just going to get even harder once my daughter is here!
I'm glad there is a place to come and vent.... NO ONE i talk to seems to understand and it is SO frustrating. Whenever I try to talk about this with friends or family I end up just getting more irritated because they tell me "women do it all the time" well i KNOW that and i'm not saying I can't do it! I'm just saying it sucks because the father had to be all selfish....get me pregnant on purpose then leave me because he needs to "live his life" I'M ALLOWED TO BE HURT!

 

[forgodssake]

I agree that mums (and dads) in relationships still struggle and find it hard at times but I agree being a single parent is not the same as having your other half working long hours

ps: gemabee you don't have long now!

yey i know
i'm all ready... nursery done. clothes washed nd put away. hospital bag by the front door.
come on baby i'm ready for u now

ps. jus read someone's post where it says... 'there's something worse than bein pregnant alone... bein pregnant when ur oh doesn't care'... or somethin like that.
aaarrrggghh!!! thank god i've got u other lovely single parents to rant at or i'd end up startin arguments
xx

I saw this thread too - really wanted to give the poster a huge - she needs one - as, I'm sure do you! At least she was being generic, you have directly taken your anger at being left by your ex out on her directly!

Surely it would be better to try and empathise with the next persons problem rather than try to play the "no, I have it harder" game?

I've been a single mum, a mum with a partner who didnt give a shit and about to be a mum with the most amazing fella so I reckon I have fairly balanced opinion.

Yeah, being a single mum IS hard but do you know what so is being a joint parent with someone who doesnt care!! In fact, IMO, the latter is the loneliest!

 

[gemabee]

unfortunately some people feel down about their relationships and i was pointing out that are they not allowed to feel like that?

but did i not say that i don't have anythin against these complaints... my only complaint is with the silly throwaway comments.
u had a go at me for no reason whatsoever.

sorry i didn't mean to have a 'go' at you there has just been so many frustrating posts on here tonight.

i thought it was unfair the way you acted as though parents in relationship have no idea what it's like to be a single parent when many of them have and their comments are a kick in the teeth to you, when it's just how they are feeling.

it may feel like it would be easier to have a child with a partner around, but instead of your and your LOs mess maybe the OH is an idiot and leaves his crap everywhere and then it's even more to deal with. and he keeps you up at night so you don't just have the baby but an OH either i don't know snoring or playing games or playing musci or WHATEVER. or the people with OHs who just down right dnt give two craps and they live with someone who doesn't give a sh*t about them or their LO but maybe are too unhappy or scared or alone or poor or whatever other reason to leave

but i didn't act like this?
have u actually read the entire thread??
u have completely construed what i said to mean somethin completely different.
u may be frustrated by some of the posts on here tonight... nd i can tell that because i've noticed ur posts on other threads... but there's no need to be aggressive in ur posts...
we're all here to support each other.

 

[gemabee]

I agree that mums (and dads) in relationships still struggle and find it hard at times but I agree being a single parent is not the same as having your other half working long hours

ps: gemabee you don't have long now!

yey i know
i'm all ready... nursery done. clothes washed nd put away. hospital bag by the front door.
come on baby i'm ready for u now

ps. jus read someone's post where it says... 'there's something worse than bein pregnant alone... bein pregnant when ur oh doesn't care'... or somethin like that.
aaarrrggghh!!! thank god i've got u other lovely single parents to rant at or i'd end up startin arguments
xx

I saw this thread too - really wanted to give the poster a huge - she needs one - as, I'm sure do you! At least she was being generic, you have directly taken your anger at being left by your ex out on her directly!

yeh nd how many bloody times do i have to say... everythin is relative... i know parents in relationships can have a horrible time too... AND have i or have i not said that i was hormonal nd angry at the beginnin of the thread... jesus i'm gettin fed up now... nd lets be honest... that woman probably doesn't know bout this thread... which is the exact reason i put it in the single parents section... because i didn't want to offend anyone... i jus wanted to have a hormonal rant!!!!

 

[gemabee]

just being pregnant and single sucks!!! while he's off doing.....God knows what with his life. It's just going to get even harder once my daughter is here!
I'm glad there is a place to come and vent.... NO ONE i talk to seems to understand and it is SO frustrating. Whenever I try to talk about this with friends or family I end up just getting more irritated because they tell me "women do it all the time" well i KNOW that and i'm not saying I can't do it! I'm just saying it sucks because the father had to be all selfish....get me pregnant on purpose then leave me because he needs to "live his life" I'M ALLOWED TO BE HURT!

ofcourse u are hun... nd even tho this thread has somehow managed to get argumentative... normally this forum is amazin nd has helped me through some difficult days.
xx

 

[forgodssake]

I agree that mums (and dads) in relationships still struggle and find it hard at times but I agree being a single parent is not the same as having your other half working long hours

ps: gemabee you don't have long now!

yey i know
i'm all ready... nursery done. clothes washed nd put away. hospital bag by the front door.
come on baby i'm ready for u now

ps. jus read someone's post where it says... 'there's something worse than bein pregnant alone... bein pregnant when ur oh doesn't care'... or somethin like that.
aaarrrggghh!!! thank god i've got u other lovely single parents to rant at or i'd end up startin arguments
xx

I saw this thread too - really wanted to give the poster a huge - she needs one - as, I'm sure do you! At least she was being generic, you have directly taken your anger at being left by your ex out on her directly!

yeh nd how many bloody times do i have to say... everythin is relative... i know parents in relationships can have a horrible time too... AND have i or have i not said that i was hormonal nd angry at the beginnin of the thread... jesus i'm gettin fed up now... nd lets be honest... that woman probably doesn't know bout this thread... which is the exact reason i put it in the single parents section... because i didn't want to offend anyone... i jus wanted to have a hormonal rant!!!!

To be fair I did post at the point of the quoted post so hadnt read the bit about you being hormonal and angry so I take that on board now.

As far as being relative (ironic word considering the topic) then its just as relative to the "coupled" mums as it is the single ones iyswim.

As for ranting, rant away, and then rant some more - its your perogative on so many levels - the world would be boring place though if we all had the same views

PS - dont see the thread as argumentative, just heated discussion - I mean, just imagine how many hormones are here with us

 

[bloodbinds]

unfortunately some people feel down about their relationships and i was pointing out that are they not allowed to feel like that?

but did i not say that i don't have anythin against these complaints... my only complaint is with the silly throwaway comments.
u had a go at me for no reason whatsoever.

sorry i didn't mean to have a 'go' at you there has just been so many frustrating posts on here tonight.

i thought it was unfair the way you acted as though parents in relationship have no idea what it's like to be a single parent when many of them have and their comments are a kick in the teeth to you, when it's just how they are feeling.

it may feel like it would be easier to have a child with a partner around, but instead of your and your LOs mess maybe the OH is an idiot and leaves his crap everywhere and then it's even more to deal with. and he keeps you up at night so you don't just have the baby but an OH either i don't know snoring or playing games or playing musci or WHATEVER. or the people with OHs who just down right dnt give two craps and they live with someone who doesn't give a sh*t about them or their LO but maybe are too unhappy or scared or alone or poor or whatever other reason to leave

Like i said in my other post, i would much rather have a man that i have to clean up after, rather than no man at all!
He can keep me up at night with his music if he wants, he can leave his crap every where for all i care. But to have a man to hug me when things get too hard... or to confer with about what to do when our daughter is ill... or just to hold my daughter when i want to take a bath in peace. Makes up for any mess he could make. To have a man that loves me, a man to be a father and a role model to my daughter... a man that might be able to provide for us when money is tight - wouldn't that be wonderful?

I wouldn't care if he snored, or spends most of his time playing on the XBOX (which, lets face it, most of them do! Lol) A man to love me and my daughter would make up for all of it. And that is what people don't understand. They say throwaway comments that makes us single woman think 'Really, you don't know how lucky you are...'

Of course, this is not talking about woman in abusive relationships (either physically or mentally) because we all know and understand that any woman in that kind of relationship is better off single

 

[lal]

There is always the option to leave, no matter how poor or hard off you are...it may be difficult, as many of us who had to choose that know, but it is still a choice...I have trouble with people who choose to stay with men they have to "take care of" or who treat them badly or don't help, and complain about how miserable it is. You obviously would rather do that than be alone - so there is something about it that is better than being a single parent, and you know that. This discussion has become petty, but it is good to see the single girls rally together

 

[whoops]

For me, the worst thing about being single isn't that I don't have a man, but the knowledge that if FOB doesn't grow up and come around, my little girl is not going to have a dad. I'm going to have to live with that guilt every day.

So I completely understand gemabee's point. I get upset sometimes when I see people complain about minor things that their OH has done, because I'd give anything to have the father of my child involved in my daughter's life.

EDIT: But... having said that, it is all relative. A number of people have told me that they envy me being pregnant, as they would have loved children when they were younger. No matter how bad I feel sometimes, I know there are people who would give anything to be where I am and sometimes I don't appreciate that enough.

 

[melorablack]

My mum became a single parent when her children we 8,6 and 4 years old. She said although it never stopped being hard, it was a relief when my dad left because then she could finally concentrate on the kids, and not on what he was trying to do to her mentally, physically and emotionally. Not to mention the fact that he was completely useless and behaved worse than the kids (her words lol)

 

[Missy86]

Can I just say I admire you guys so much
2 of my best friends on BNB are single mums and I dont know how they do it, they are so strong

 

[pinklightbulb]

Single mums must do it so hard, but some of us have an OH who is never around/isn't that good with LO so we have to do everything with LO plus keep OH happy when he works 12 hour days 7 days a week. It's like having two kids sometimes lol. It isn't any easier when your OH is pretty much absent/comparatively useless with LO when compared to what you (general you) do for/with LO I am not a 'single' mother but I also have 100% care of LO 7 days a week with no help and on top of it cook/clean/whatever for both LO and OH. It is tough and I am lucky to have an OH-- I don't take him for granted but I do wish he was around more and had more of an idea what to do with LO.