Splitting up with the partner

Discussion in 'Single Parents' started by bjshooter, Apr 26, 2009.

  1. bjshooter

    bjshooter Mum and preggers

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    hi ladies, just need a bit of advice.
    I have a daughter who is 7 and i am a single mum already, although i was with babies dad for the first 4 years.
    I am pregnant again and was expecting to be doing all this with my partner, but unfortunately we split. I am really upset about this and being pregnant is not the best time, everything i thought i would get, emotional, financial and physical support all gone. How do you go about getting over someone when you are carrying their baby? Normally i would go out, get too drunk, have fun and ignore them altogether, but obv i cant do any of that :(
    I am terrified i wont be able to cope on my own and also rather worried that i am not feeling attached to this baby

    And advice?
     
  2. shaunanicole

    shaunanicole Guest

    I don't know your exact position but I can imagine it is a tough spot to be in. You just have to have faith in yourself and know that as a mother you can be strong for your child. I wish you a happy and healthy 9 months! ;)
     
  3. edinsam

    edinsam Well-Known Member

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    Hi hun

    I am absolutely with you. I have 2 kids at the moment and am pregnant with number 3. OH left a month ago and went back to his ex. I have gone through every single part of what you are going through, its horrendous. I cried constantly, I haven't slept for weeks, I miss him so much and still love him. But it got to the stage that I realised christ he is not important - what is important is my current children and this baby I am carrying. There absolutley will be times when you are detached from this baby because of what it represents/represented and that at the other times it will be this baby that sees you through the darkest times as you have to keep going for your babies sake.

    I am not saying it is easy - by no means, but as a woman carrying a child there is a pride/self respect/whatever you want to call it that carries you through.

    I too would have been like you ie go out get drunk etc but a friend told me recently that actually its probably better for us at the moment as we have to face the harsh reality sober which ultimately will make us heel quicker rather than be drunk and wake up and feel crap about that and then face the reality again. I can testify that it does work to face it sober.

    I am a month down the line and can honestly say that it is getting a teeny eeny bit better. I am having to find somewhere else to live as he is demanding that and I am in the process of doing that at the moment

    I still stand by what I have said in previous posts - what doesn't kill us makes us stronger

    Hang on in there hun

    come on here when you need support and feel free to pm me whenever you like

    Take care

    Sam
    xxx
     
  4. precious-gift

    precious-gift Well-Known Member

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    hi also know what your going though, i agree with sam it is not easy, and you do go through every emotion, its been over a month for me some days im ok and the next im a wreck, what keeps me going is my baby, and i know the next four months until baby is here safe and well are going to be tough, but i will get there, and so will you. just take one day at a time and they say that it will get easier, and just remember that he is the one who has lost out, not you. :hugs:

    xxx
     
  5. bjshooter

    bjshooter Mum and preggers

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    cheer girls, it helps just to know that i am not the only person going through all this. I find the whole thing rather embarrassing, like people will judge me and think why would she get herself into this situation :(
     
  6. edinsam

    edinsam Well-Known Member

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    hun the people that judge you are the people that should be judged not you.

    Just remember you have created a new life - you are bringing that into the world and you will that wee persons world with love and happiness.

    If anyone judges you then thats up to them - you just get your head stuck up high and let it wash over you.

    Keep strong

    Sam
    xx
     

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