So this will be my last month ttc I'm afraid. My relationship is taking a massive strain on me. Thought I'd fallen in love with a special man, my soul mate but I fell in love with a monster. This may sound awful and I feel awful saying it because I've wanted this for so long and I'm trying to fight the tears whilst writing this but I'm now hoping I haven't already conceived. I just don't know who he is anymore. But He isn't the sweet, caring man I fell in love with. He's a controlling, paranoid, selfish bully. It has been lovely speaking with dill and I truly thankyou for the advice you have given me. I already have two children and I have to think of them. Take care ladies. I wish you all the best xx