Stealing other people's 'pregnancy thunder'

[tinkerbelle93]

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[MrsMcCurdy]

I think it should be a non issue. It's part of life, I've been trying for 17 months, my sis in law got pregnant after only 3 months of the pill and is 18 weeks now, it stung for awhile but I'm happy for them and it's part of life. I'll live. I don't think anyone should put their family life on hold bc of someone else's feelings. Just my opinions though.

 

[Lirpa11]

I agree that you need to do what works for you and your family.

DH and I have been trying for 17 months and are now expecting our first after IvF. The problem is that we are moving from Australia to USA in a couple of months, and 2 good friends and DHs sister all organised their weddings from the end of September to October in in Australia. We were planning on coming back for the weddings (3 in total), however now we may have a little one due early September so will miss out. We were even part of the bridal party in two weddings.

I feel sad like I have let them down, and I haven't even told them yet, however we had to do what was right for us. Waiting a year and half to get this little bean is a long time, and it would have torn me up if we had to delay it for another year. I'm glad we made our choice to go ahead, even if it does feel a bit selfish.

Do what is best for you. Others will understand I'm sure xx

 

[Angel_blues]

I'm forced to wait until my sister in law gives birth (LATE January) before we even start trying because OH feels she needs her time in the spotlight... Such a piss off

I mean I guess I get it but... I want a baby...

 

[BabyCleo]

I wouldn't wait. Do what you wanna do

 

[Angel_blues]

I wouldn't wait. Do what you wanna do

Not always that simple... Takes two to tango...

 

[misspriss]

I wouldn't wait. I'm sure your family has enough love for all the children. If they don't and just ignore her first child for yours, there is something wrong with them, not you, and you don't need to cater to whatever their problems are.

Besides, this will be your second. If your family is anything like mine, there won't be any thunder about a second child...(yes, there is some animosity there, apparently everyone went gaga about my first, lots of "thunder" there, but with the second, I'm halfway through and no one hardly mentions it).

 

[iiTTCii]

I personally wouldn't wait. We have started ttc this month and I have a feeling that my SIL will start ttc in the new year. I can't hold off my plans for the sake of her. Plus in the long run, it would be great to have 2 cousins really close in age and will hopefully be good friends.

When I accounced I was pregnant to family, my sister 'accidently' got pregnant 4 weeks later with someone she had a one night stand with. I was so bitter about it at first and annoyed that the attention had switched to her but once my LO arrived, I couldn't care less and all I was bothered about was my baby. It's life.

 

[steph.]

I wouldn't wait either. My sister announced her pregnancy 1 week before dd1 was born, and honestly i didn't care. It was her second baby and she was only 5 weeks, whereas it was my first and i was 36 weeks. I was happy lo would have a cousin to play with and didnt feel my spotlight was stolen.

 

[mum140381]

i would not wait it could take 1 month to get pregnant or over a year x

 

[tinkerbelle93]

i would not wait it could take 1 month to get pregnant or over a year x

Yes that is one thing that crossed my mind. Me and DH are in our early 20s but nothing is to say we won't have a harder time TTC this time round and it take a year ir even longer. I just tend to overthink everything... I think we will start ntnp in March, I'm quite surprised how all these answers have been saying it's a non issue

 

[misspriss]

Think of it this way, I would love to have a bump buddy. My cousins wife, who I have never been close to, just found out she is pregnant and we have really bonded over it and are getting to be closer. It is nice to have someone else who is pregnant to share with.

 

[Pearls18]

Non issue, I would have loved to have been pregnant same time as a family member, I hate that my boys will be so much older than their future cousins

 

[lisap2008]

I dont think you should put TTC on hold just because it may bother someone or put them out of the spotlight once you get a BFP. as others have said it could take months to conceive ,even very fertile couples only have a 20% chance of conception each month.

 

[BlueWater]

I agree with everyone else. Don't put TTC on hold in fact "the more the merrier!" The more bumps or the more babies at any one time will be a happy time for everyone including the parents.... good luck!!

 

[hanni]

Is she the type of person to like being in the spot light? I know personally I would love to have someone else in my family pregnant as well to take some of the attention and non stop fussing over me away.

I say just go for it, like pp have said, I could take longer than last time.

 

[zoeh]

Agree with everyone else that it should be a non-issue. No one can be 100% certain when you'll conceive. Of course, like I told someone on another thread, it has been 17+ months now that we've TTC#1 so at this point I wouldn't care if we conceived or I was due on a family member's coronation day ;-).

I had two family members get pregnant within 4 months of each other. Their moms have been a little competitive and "your daughter stole my daughter's thunder" about it, but it has really been looked at as pretty childish behavior from them. They themselves, though, are excited to have sort of "built in" playmates.

 

[StretchMarks]

Don't wait! You never know how long it's going to take! It only took us 2 months of trying with DS1 and we decided to wait until he was 1.5 to start trying. He's now 26 months and I'm still not pregnant.

 

[kittycrazy]

Slightly off topic but me and DH have decided that March is the perfect time for us to start ttc our second child. Our son is almost 3. We were all set but yesterday my sister and husband announced she is 3 months pregnant with her first baby. I had no idea she was trying but it was lovely news.

Anyway, I now feel a little uneasy about ttc in March. I fell pregnant very easily with my son, if I fell pregnant immediately this time round, it would mean being 3 months along and at the time of announcing just when she is due. It would also mean there being another baby in our fairly close knit family just 5/6 months after her having her baby and it not being the only baby having it's first Christmas etc next year. I know it perhaps should be a non-issue but I can't help feel a little guilty and thinking delaying ttc. I remember just before my son was due, my husbands sister announced she was 4 months pregnant with her second, and I remember feeling quite gutted because suddenly the all of the attention was away from us and 4 mere months after my son was born there was a newer, tinier baby distracting everyone.. I know this sounds silly but I do think a lot of women secretly feel this way with their first baby. My sister deserves everything perfect and I don't want to put a downer on it, but I also don't want to delay ttc, me and my husband want this so badly!

So what are people's opinions on these situations in general? Is it a non issue thay shouldn't be considered? Have you ever been on either side of a similar situation? Xx

it would be amazing for the children!! and you guys. my brothers daughter was born three months before my son and we all loved it. they are now 9 and are like twins( even had their own language years ago called the glan glan) and we all love that they are so close. my brother nd i are too so its truly lovely. x

 

[mum140381]

then again you could get pregnant straight away lol my 1st 2nd and 3rd i got preg fist month 4th 6 months 5th 2nd month 6th 2nd month and 7th 3rd month xx