I was overly emotional yesterday, just raging hormones I guess. First, I saw yet another stupid meme on my OH's Facebook wall in regards to him being unable to work on his truck or go to shows anytime soon because he got me "knocked up" or whatever. When we announced our news on social media, his buddy posted a photo of a positive pregnancy test meme that said something like "That moment you realize your truck won't be show ready this year". I saw another meme on his wall yesterday that said something about "Knowing your minitrucker days are over because you got her knocked up" with a photo of a man with a woman hugging/consoling him. Ok, it's funny, I get it... whatever. But it's a choice that HE made with me to try for a baby, knowing the consequences and the sacrifices that would have to be made. We are not by any means rich or financially stable enough to balance having a baby plus continuing additional hobbies and habits that require major financial support. The photos just rub me the wrong way and make me feel like I'm put in a spot where it's like I got pregnant and am now controlling him or something, I don't know. Someone actually commented under the recent photo and said, "Well yeah priorities shift and it gets put off for a few years I've been there done that but it's not over by any means". Thank you, sir. Thank you. Exactly. And my OH has really shifted priorities, even though he's not
perfect I look at the overall changes and sacrifices he's made and the responsible things he has said or done and I'm proud of him. I shared my feelings with him and had a cry and he basically told me I'm making a big deal out of something that's not, it doesn't matter what anyone else says or thinks and to not let it get to me. Uh... thanks
That didn't make me feel better. He has never responded to any posts or comments in regards to being "tied down" or whatever, stating his choice to have a family and in a way defending me, as I feel kind of like I'm being plagued as "that girl that got pregnant for control" or whatever. He said he shouldn't have to explain anything to anyone. Ok, whatever then. Where's the memes for ME? Like, "That moment you realize the bottle of wine you've been eyeing up is going to collect major dust" or "That moment you can't get your big, pregnant ass out of bed" or "When you realize your getting stretch marks and gaining 50+ pounds because your SO wanted a child and you selflessly are carrying it for 9 months for him". Ugh... anyways....
Also to add to my emotions, my mom revealed to me that she got results back from the dermatologist regarding a spot on her arm and leg and it's skin cancer
Seriously? My mom is a 13 year lung cancer survivor and now she has skin cancer? My dad died of lung cancer, my brother died of leukemia, my uncle died of lung cancer and my brother and sister's dad died of lung cancer plus my other uncle is a survivor of prostate cancer... I HATE CANCER. I hate hearing the word. Ugh! Just GO AWAY and leave my family alone!!! My mom was emotional and even though I tried to hold it together on the phone, I had tears rolling down my face and broke down after we hung up. She is getting paperwork and being scheduled to have it cut out sometime in June and I told her I would go with her. I'm the only person she's told so for the ladies I chat with on Facebook, please keep it hush hush. My sister doesn't even know.
Then to finish off my lovely evening, I tried cooking dinner because OH had a headache and I completely dried out the pork chops and the homemade mashed potatoes were slimy and gross. My OH had to remake potatoes and fortunately the pork chops were edible with some sauce or gravy on top, not terrible. I'm just so used to him cooking more so now and me eating. I really can cook, I guess I just need to do it more as I've lost my knack
Sorry for suuuuper long post, had to vent.