Still in shock and this appears to be the best place to be

Discussion in 'Introduce Yourself' started by nickyXjayno, Mar 30, 2011.

  1. nickyXjayno

    nickyXjayno Guest

    God where to start ha lol.

    My name is Nicola and I'm engaged to a man I've been with since mid teens, we have lived together for years and was looking forward to my 22nd birthday this year.

    I've never wanted children and thought maybe I'd feel more maternal when older, my other half flat out never wants kids.

    So what's the issue?

    About a month and a half ago I had my implant removed and decided to go back on the pill, problem is after having the implant for a few years you forget to take a pill every day on the dot.
    BUT I always took it every day maybe sometimes at night and other times in the morning but always within a 24 hour time frame or there abouts.

    Funny thing is I was talking to women in work about it and said I was worried that me not taking it on the dot every day would be an issue and you know what they said?
    Don't be ridiculous!
    You don't get pregnant straight off the bat, I've been trying for ages, or took me a few months to get pregnant with mine and so on and so forth.

    I felt secure that those extra hours didn't matter....

    Fast forward to this week and my period didn't arrive, even though I'm always on by the 27th, at the latest!

    So peed in a cup and sent it to the docs, didn't fancy paying all that for pregnancy tests, and it came back negative.

    No worries right?

    Hmmm no I just knew and sure enough I have a tesco preggo test to prove it.

    So here I am googling as much about baby stuff and pregnancy my eyes are watering, I haven't a clue about any of this.
    I found this forum and I know I haven't been trying for a baby and loads of people on here are and it's a slap in the face but I could really do with someone to talk to and some advice.

    I don't know what to do or where to start.
    I still don't believe it, think it's a lie.

    I work full time and love motorbikes, how does a baby fit into this?

    Most of all I'm worried about how my other half is going to react, I can cope and I will deal, what's done is done and maybe there is a reason for this but I have a feeling it will be the end of the world for him and maybe our relationship as he will probably hate me or resent me and I can't force him to want something neither of us planned for.

    I hope there is someone on here who has been through something similar, could really do with a bit of help.


    Sorry for the biography, thanks - Nicola.

    xxx
     
  2. v2007

    v2007 Well-Known Member

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    :wave:

    :dust:

    V xxxx
     
  3. odd_socks

    odd_socks Long Term WTT

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    hello and welcome :wave:
     
  4. xJG30

    xJG30 Tom & Mummy <3

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    https://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g146/GemLoux/Welc.gif :wave:

    Hope it works out for you both how you want.
     
  5. pinkbow

    pinkbow Proud Mummy

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    Welcome to BnB :hi:
     
  6. Vickie

    Vickie Hannah & Rhys <3

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    :hi: Welcome. Good luck speaking to your OH :hugs:
     
  7. lucy_x

    lucy_x Mummy To Two Stunners

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    :hi: Welcome to BnB
     
  8. staceyg

    staceyg Well-Known Member

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    welcome :) hope everything works out ok for you good luck speaking to your OH :hugs:
     
  9. nickyXjayno

    nickyXjayno Guest

    He reacted worse than I thought.
    Feels like his life is ruined and that it's shamefull.
    He doesn't want us to tell anyone, but I've told him I'm damn straight telling my mum as I need some support!
    He doesn't want to talk about it at all now and wants it to go away.
    I have a horrible feeling if something goes wrong I will feel like it's his fault.

    I didn't want a baby but now I know there's one growing in me I'm in awe, don't want anything to go wrong.

    He's 27 by the way and we're not religious or anything so I don't know why he is so adamant it's shamefull and disgusting as at 21 I'm hardly a pregnant teen and I have a job and we live together.

    Should I feel ashamed?
     
  10. bbyno1

    bbyno1 Well-Known Member

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    Welcome to the forum:D and congrats!
    No way,don't feel ashamed!Your OH should come around to the idea in time,at first it is a shock to most and they feel like they don't want to do it but im sure he will change his mind.Goodluck x
     
  11. SassyLou

    SassyLou Well-Known Member

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    Hi :hi:

    Welcome to BnB

    xxx
     
  12. sabby52

    sabby52 Mother, Nanny

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    Hi welcome to BnB :flower:
     
  13. Hollys_Twinny

    Hollys_Twinny Well-Known Member

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    :wave: Welcome to BnB :flower:

    Don't feel ashamed hun, these things happen & no contraception is 100% effective so he's just as responsible for this as you are. My son wasnt planned but we just got on with things..me & my partner were both 19 at the time, we were both in full time work and had our own place though so felt confident that we could make things work, and we have :) . Hopefully after its sank in you'r OH will come round.

    :hugs:
     
  14. BellaDonna818

    BellaDonna818 Mamma to Triplet Girls

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    Don't you EVER feel ashamed of being pregnant! A baby is a blessing, whether it's planned or not. I wish you both the best of luck! :hugs:
     
  15. FunkyMinky

    FunkyMinky Member

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    Don't feel ashamed, a woman's body was designed to have babies, it's the most natural thing there is! I have a friend who's husband wasn't happy about her getting preg and tbh they split up over it and were apart for her whole pregnancy.

    As soon as he saw his son being born and held him for the first time, he fell in love with him and they are now getting back together. Sometimes men feel like it's not their problem but they probably just feel helpless deep down. I'm sure once your OH see's your bump growing he will come around to it. As you've not spoken about it before this has prob come as a huge shock to him, and you've had a little more time to come to terms with it than him.

    And if he doesn't then he was obv not the one for you in the end. He should be over the moon that he has created a new life with you.

    Let us know how it goes

    xxx
     
  16. cleckner04

    cleckner04 Well-Known Member

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    Welcome!! :wave:
     
  17. Chris77

    Chris77 Mommy to PJ and Gavin

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    :hi: Welcome to BnB!
     

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