Still wearing diaper's at 6?

[BabyL0Ve]

Hello ladies
here's the problem and I need some advice. My step-daughter is 6 and still wearing diapers at night. We have her like 2 nights a week and I have told DH that is not good. She has to stop wearing them because she will never learn the right way, or she will but she will be a teen anf might not be able to hold it and look up to pull ups. Her mother doesn't put diepers on her because she is too lazy to potty train the kid, obviously she is almost 7! My DH's mom is also a problem because she want's to "baby" her and thinks her bladder will automatically learn and streghten. I think that is not true, if she knows theres a diaper she is comfortable, without one she hasnt learn to potty train and she will have an accident. DH wont listen to me anymore, we used to not put pull ups for 6 months and she was just fine but last night he spoiled it He won't take my advice anymore and is firm with his answer, he will simply follow the rest. That is bad for my step daughter! Kids start potty training at 2,3 and she is almost 7! I am frustrated and give up with advices for him simply because he wont listen anymore! Our kids will be potty trained and she will be like 10 and still with pull ups (he even mentioned one time that his mom will put them even when shes a teen, she doesnt want her to grow up) I had given up now...I have talked to people and they all think this is crazy. What do you guys think?

 

[Jo]

I do think it is a bit odd and seems that mum is putting diapers on her to save her the hassle of washing sheets.
How does your step daughter feel about wearing diapers at night?

One thing I will say though is that some children just do wet at night for quite a long tim,e sometimes they are in too deep asleep to feel the urge to go, also other factors can make children wet at night.

I used to wet the bed until I was around 7/8 ( can't beleive I am admitting this lol but may help) it did not stop until my mum and dad split up, because the atmosphere at home was so tense I picked up on it, 2 days after he left I was dry through the night and never had another accident.

If you only have her 2 nights it will be very dificult to make a change unless Step daughter wants to, as she will revert back when she is at home, she will realise it is not right as such when she is at school has sleep overs etc...

I think DH's mum needs to keep out of this issue TBH as she is not helping matters

Good luck and try not to get stressed about it too much x

 

[lovedupgirl]

I have got 2 say I agree with your opinion, a 6 YO should not be still in diapers at night, fair enough it would be ok if there was a medical reason for it but if her mum is just too lazy to train her then that is soo not on!

 

[Linzi]

I do think it is a bit odd and seems that mum is putting diapers on her to save her the hassle of washing sheets.
How does your step daughter feel about wearing diapers at night?

One thing I will say though is that some children just do wet at night for quite a long tim,e sometimes they are in too deep asleep to feel the urge to go, also other factors can make children wet at night.

I used to wet the bed until I was around 7/8 ( can't beleive I am admitting this lol but may help) it did not stop until my mum and dad split up, because the atmosphere at home was so tense I picked up on it, 2 days after he left I was dry through the night and never had another accident.

If you only have her 2 nights it will be very dificult to make a change unless Step daughter wants to, as she will revert back when she is at home, she will realise it is not right as such when she is at school has sleep overs etc...

I think DH's mum needs to keep out of this issue TBH as she is not helping matters

Good luck and try not to get stressed about it too much x

Yeah I agree... tbh you might not be gettign a good picture from her mum, there could be other issues there.

My little brother is 9 and is incontinent both ways.

Theres not a lot you can do to change anything in 2 days so its really up to her mother to make the decision.

x

 

[BabyL0Ve]

I do think it is a bit odd and seems that mum is putting diapers on her to save her the hassle of washing sheets.
How does your step daughter feel about wearing diapers at night?

One thing I will say though is that some children just do wet at night for quite a long tim,e sometimes they are in too deep asleep to feel the urge to go, also other factors can make children wet at night.

I used to wet the bed until I was around 7/8 ( can't beleive I am admitting this lol but may help) it did not stop until my mum and dad split up, because the atmosphere at home was so tense I picked up on it, 2 days after he left I was dry through the night and never had another accident.

If you only have her 2 nights it will be very dificult to make a change unless Step daughter wants to, as she will revert back when she is at home, she will realise it is not right as such when she is at school has sleep overs etc...

I think DH's mum needs to keep out of this issue TBH as she is not helping matters

Good luck and try not to get stressed about it too much x

The mother is as lazy as she can be thats the reason why she is not enforcing on the new rule. Yes DH's mother needs to stay out of it but he is on her side and that what makes me mad My step daughter gets excited when she is accident free and I make her feel special and tell her she is a big girl when she doesnt wear a pull up and accident free. It is the kid's benefit but nobody wants to help and you are totally right, we don't have her enuf to teach her so it's almost impossible. DH's mom told him her bladder will automatically streghten and i dont see that unless she gets potty trained and rewarde. Keeping the routine wont make her stop outta no where and if she wants to baby her she will always put pull ups it is not helping! Both mothers are stricktly for pull ups and now we are back on that It sucks that my opinion doesn't matter and I am the only one that wants her to grow up and know the right thing... It makes the kid happy whe she succeed..

 

[BabyL0Ve]

I do think it is a bit odd and seems that mum is putting diapers on her to save her the hassle of washing sheets.
How does your step daughter feel about wearing diapers at night?

One thing I will say though is that some children just do wet at night for quite a long tim,e sometimes they are in too deep asleep to feel the urge to go, also other factors can make children wet at night.

I used to wet the bed until I was around 7/8 ( can't beleive I am admitting this lol but may help) it did not stop until my mum and dad split up, because the atmosphere at home was so tense I picked up on it, 2 days after he left I was dry through the night and never had another accident.

If you only have her 2 nights it will be very dificult to make a change unless Step daughter wants to, as she will revert back when she is at home, she will realise it is not right as such when she is at school has sleep overs etc...

I think DH's mum needs to keep out of this issue TBH as she is not helping matters

Good luck and try not to get stressed about it too much x

Yeah I agree... tbh you might not be gettign a good picture from her mum, there could be other issues there.

My little brother is 9 and is incontinent both ways.

Theres not a lot you can do to change anything in 2 days so its really up to her mother to make the decision.

x

Well because of the laziness another problem is that she has exzema and she has had it for years! Since she was 4. Bad hygene, laziness etc leads to exzemas, irritations. Kids are so much better without pull ups, its the best for their skin and their mentality, growing up, learning.

 

[Jo]

I think the only thing is for your Step daughter to not wear pull ups at yours and then hopefully she will tell mum and grandma she is a big girl and doesn't need them.

I honestly don't know what to suggest especially as DH does not seem to be listening to your reasoning

 

[BabyL0Ve]

I think the only thing is for your Step daughter to not wear pull ups at yours and then hopefully she will tell mum and grandma she is a big girl and doesn't need them.

I honestly don't know what to suggest especially as DH does not seem to be listening to your reasoning

Thats what i think so too but she sais mommy and grandma put pull ups on me and u guys don't and she starts crying. I have tried couple of times and she was accident free and very happy. And now what, back to same old Nobody is listening to me I think I am gonna step back and let it roll itself I have no other option, I have tried everything, all I want is the best for the kid.

 

[jazmine18]

my brother and my god-sister both were bed-wetters at night til about the age of 6 or 7, and plenty of my mums friends kids wet the bed at night til that age, i dont think its that unheard of, but they do normally just grow out of it, or you can get special alarm pads that go off when the wet to help them know when to go ect.

like someone else said they can just be in too deep sleep, or their can be other factors.

hope you can find something to do xxx

 

[bky]

My sister had to wear diapers at night until 11. Poor thing. Some kids just can't help it and don't develop the ability to wake up when they need to go at night until they are much older. If she just can't hold her wee at night this may be the issue rather than laziness. We tried lots of things with my sister and not having any liquid after 3pm barely worked--and not reliably either. My mother used to set an alarm to get her up at night to go as well. She (my sister) really wanted to not wet as well, as she couldn't have sleep overs or anything.
If she isn't just weeing then I'd agree it may be a training issue.

 

[MiissMuffet]

If it is only at night and there is good reason for it then it might not be too much of a problem. My brother was about that age maybe older and he had problems with wetting the bed mum even needed to take him places (doctors or something I'm not completely sure). And he had to wear nappies at night just incase. It was bad enough that it was considered a "disability". Now mum has had 7 kids and we were all fine with toilet training so it wasn't the toilet training at all. Some kids take a lot longer to adjust than others. Sometimes just simply taking the nappy off isn't going to work, it will just cause more problems when u have to clean the bed in the morning.

 

[Jkelmum]

Jake wet bed on n off until 9yrs old but never wore a pull up from about 4 ...They need to learn x

 

[sabby52]

Dan wore pull-ups at night until he was 5-6 years old, some kids are just bed wetters and we were told at the bed wetting clinic that 1 in every 5 kids will need pull-ups after 5 years old ( the majority being boys). They do grow out of it, but a bit of encouagement from mum would go a long way. xx

 

[MiissMuffet]

Jake wet bed on n off until 9yrs old but never wore a pull up from about 4 ...They need to learn x

Sometimes it's not as simple as that...

 

[MrsBop]

My son is 4 and will always wet the bed through the night if we haven't got him up around midnight to go to the toilet, no way would he wear a nappy though, it seems like your fighting a loosing battle to be honest hun

 

[louise1302]

my son is 11 next week and still wets the bed 3 or 4 times a week he has a plastic cover on his mattress and when he does do it i just wipe his bed over and wash the sheets, i w3ouldnt dream of putting a pull up on him and havent done from aged 3. some childrens bladders do take longer to train that others. id just not put her in them at your house and hopefuly her mother will eventually follow suit

 

[coccyx]

Is she dry in he day? I would take the pull ups off when she was with me and lots of praise in the morning. Maybe buy her a treat with money saved not having to buy the pull ups. I never liked pull ups for mine as I think it confuses them.good luck

 

[BabyL0Ve]

Jake wet bed on n off until 9yrs old but never wore a pull up from about 4 ...They need to learn x

Sometimes it's not as simple as that...

Yes it is not hard if you are determined. Knowing there's pull ups and no training enforced of course is easier...take an example. I asked my mom when was i done potty trained i was 8 months! That was 22 years ago and in my country there was no such thing as diapers. Both me and my sister where potty trained by a 1 years old and we will tell my mom when we gotta go and at night cry when we need to go. But she said it took hard work, both her and my dad would be on me all the time. Take me to the toilet, take cups of waters and splash water so i know i have to go, after that i learned and just would tell mum when i have to go. It is all up to the parents for the most part unless child has a bladder problem..

 

[BabyL0Ve]

Is she dry in he day? I would take the pull ups off when she was with me and lots of praise in the morning. Maybe buy her a treat with money saved not having to buy the pull ups. I never liked pull ups for mine as I think it confuses them.good luck

Yeah she is fine during the day. I offered DH the reward idea but he said that he has to do what the rest are doing (his mom and her mom) so we don't confuse her. He said he'll watch her and when shes dry hell reward her and slowly will reduce pull ups to 2 nights only then 1 night only...hopefully the rest of the fam does what he is planning on which i doubt.

 

[Minstermind]

Potty trained at one years old? That's a pretty rare thing and I wouldn't consider that the norm or even the most desirable thing, to be honest. But if it was a healthy and good thing in your experience, then it just goes to show that every child is individual and what is ''right'' for one child is not right for another!

Take the bedwetting thing, for instance...my 7 year old son still wets the bed at night and it's because he just doesn't wake up to pee. This is one of the reasons it can happen, and no amount of rewards systems, pull-ups, no pull-ups, no liquids after 6pm, encouragement, etc... has made one jot of difference whatsoever. It's very easy to say that there are ways to get them to ''learn'' but not every child who pees the bed at night is doing so because they ''haven't learned''. It could very well fall into the category of their brain not waking them up to go pee regardless how very much they would like to or whatever rewards are present for them.

I have spent a great deal of time doing each and all of the above and I have concluded that my son simply doesn't wake up to pee, and I feel comfortable that he will grow out of it when the time is right. I know from spending over THREE years NOT putting pull-ups on him that it made no difference whatsoever, and all I got out of it was a shitload of laundry to do. So I am very happy and relieved to have the option of pull-ups available.

So my point is, you may very well be right about your stepdaughter and the reasons that she's still in pull-ups may not be the ''right'' reasons for a child to still be in pull-ups...so I'm not saying that my experience and attitude should mirror yours. But just wanted to comment on general principle about this bedwetting issue, that it is NOT as clearcut as some people would like to think and I really believe the situation should be handled on an individual basis as there are many reasons a child wets the bed and I think the solution to it has to be tailored to the reasons why it occurs.