Struggling with pregnancy and a LO at home?

[baileybubs]

Hi there,

Is anyone else struggling with their pregnancy with having a LO at home? I constantly feel so tired and upset and frustrated! I feel so bad because this afternoon I've even yelled at my dd because she woke after just 20 mins nap and was crying and all I could think was "well if you would just have a proper nap then we could both feel rested and feel better" which is awful!!! I feel like I'm a terrible mum because I wake every morning counting down to nap time then bedtime. And if I am struggling so much now how am I gonna manage with 2 under 2?

I'm also sick of feeling so low and lonely, sick of crying almost every day and I just want to go away and sleep! My poor dd isn't getting the attention she should because I am just too tired to play all day or take her on a walk, not that the weather is ever good enough to take her out at the mo!!

Does anyone else feel like this? I've told my df again and again but he just doesn't seem to get it coz he works 50 hours a week (compared to my only 20 hours) and he says he understands coz he's tired too.
Then my best friend and he agree that apparently I need to learn to "switch off" so I can nap when dd does and sleep better at night (sometimes i wake and then I'm awake for ages).

 

[carlandjane]

Hi there,

Is anyone else struggling with their pregnancy with having a LO at home? I constantly feel so tired and upset and frustrated! I feel so bad because this afternoon I've even yelled at my dd because she woke after just 20 mins nap and was crying and all I could think was "well if you would just have a proper nap then we could both feel rested and feel better" which is awful!!! I feel like I'm a terrible mum because I wake every morning counting down to nap time then bedtime. And if I am struggling so much now how am I gonna manage with 2 under 2?

I'm also sick of feeling so low and lonely, sick of crying almost every day and I just want to go away and sleep! My poor dd isn't getting the attention she should because I am just too tired to play all day or take her on a walk, not that the weather is ever good enough to take her out at the mo!!

Does anyone else feel like this? I've told my df again and again but he just doesn't seem to get it coz he works 50 hours a week (compared to my only 20 hours) and he says he understands coz he's tired too.
Then my best friend and he agree that apparently I need to learn to "switch off" so I can nap when dd does and sleep better at night (sometimes i wake and then I'm awake for ages).

You will be struggling at the moment because of your hormones etc, which will make you feel rubbish and because your little one is young she will pick up on your mood and almost copy it - it will make her feel unsettled. You need to make a plan and get a routine going with your lo and make sure that part of that routine is allowing you to get some time for yourself. How old is your little one? Sometimes you have to be hard to be kind, theres no harm in leaving her in her cot to cry a little whilst you take 5 mins out to calm down or even just leaving her where she is safe to play with her toys whilst you catch up with your chores or something. Of an evening when your tired have a little bath together and curl up on the sofa having cuddle time.
It is hard having two young ones, my husband has always worked very long hours and Olivia was 20 months when Niamh was born, they both had severe reflux aswell so I had to content with all those issues but... you do cope, and you will cope! Believe in yourself... it will be hard at times with good days and bad but you will soon settle into the swing of things. Dont beat yourself up about having a cry at times - theres no harm in that.
Try to just relax and do things at your pace, its not the end of the world if you dont get 'chores' done as much as before, priorities change, things will get done in the end and youll find if you listen to your body you will get days where you feel upto doing more.
If little one is still in your room or easy enough to bring in or something you could always lay on the bed for a few hours in the afternoon and watch a film whilst you both have a doze or just simply relax and you wont feel bad if she is awake playing near you.
I am expecting baby number 3 and sometimes i think - HOLY CR*P! Im going to have a 4 year old thats just started school, and a 2 year old that really is bonkers plus a newborn... what the hell was i thinking?! But equally I know ive managed before, that newborns generally sleep alot so I can get into a gradual routine and they will grow up very close (and once they are all at school I can spend LOADS of time relaxing lol)
Your doing great hun... and you will be fine! Promise!

 

[catty]

You have a similar situation to me. The nights are killing me as he still wakes alot.
All I think to myself is its the pregnancy that makes me tired, once I give birth I think il be full of energy (I was last time anyway) we just need to get through this part!!

I find if I do things in the day it tires him out so weve been going swimming and ling walks etc then both go home and nap together, maybe you could try this.

at least when babies born you can drink all the coffee you want haha

 

[baileybubs]

Thanks ladies, somedays just feel so much harder than others!!

That's what I'm thinking too catty. That it's the pregnancy making me so tired coz I feel more tired now than I did when Emilia was newborn so hoping once my body recovers for a couple of weeks after giving birth whilst df will be on paternity then I'll be raring to go and full of energy.

Yesterday I broke down to my df in tears begging him to let me get more sleep and rest, telling him that when he says "I understand you are tired" that it doesn't help coz he has no idea what this kind of tired is! There's sleep deprivation and then there's this that's just overall exhaustion as well as lack of sleep!! So last night I went to bed at 9.30 and he got up with Emilia today and tried to be as quiet as he could with her and left me in bed til 9am. This morning I feel a million times better!! It also helped that I didn't wake during the night at all as sometimes I get bouts of insomnia during pregnancy, but today I have so much energy (but I'm still resting when Emilia naps lol!).

It can be so hard dealing with these pregnancy hormones and somedays I just look back and think "wow you really need to learn to calm yourself and see it's not the end of the world" but in that moment it feels like the end of the world!

I've made a decision to finish work at 32 weeks now too coz my job is physical (care work) and I work mainly evenings so at times when Emilia is sleeping I'm at work instead of resting!

I am a little annoyed at MIL because df tried asking her if she would have Emilia for a couple of hours at the weekend at her house just so I can get some chores done (or perhaps just sleep lol) and she just laughed at him!!! My mums a star though and babysits at least once a week whilst I work so once I go on mat leave I'm gonna see if she'll still babysit once to give me a rest day as I lead up to birth.

Thanks for listening to me vent ladies, sometimes it's good to get it out and to know I have support here is great