Oooh how I've laughed at these.
We did loads -
Slept with the light and TV on all night cos we thought she was "scared of the dark" until someone pointed out to me that there's no lights in the womb!
Used a whole saga to get her to sleep - rocking, singing dancing, music blaring, lightshow etc. When she eventually fell asleep we took it in 3 hour shifts all night every night walking to keep her asleep (least I got fit lol). My Mum had her for only 1 night cos I was desperate and got her sleeping right through with only feeding. Oops!
Changed her every time she woke at night and went through a whole series of stripping off her sleepsuit and vest, leaving her naked while I heated up the wipes so she didn't get a cold bum (haha), getting her dressed again and in the hour it took to do all this she'd be hungry so I'd feed her then go through the whole thing again cos I thought you had to change a baby after every feed.
Stuck religiously to 1 light cellular blanket in case of overheating even though it was below freezing in november - poor mite probably didn't sleep cos she was freezing
Thought she was supposed to drink water as well and ended up syringing it down her after every feed as I thought she needed it!
Thought she had colic and tried every wind product when it turned out to be severe silent reflux.
Thought every noise she made meant she was hungry so used to force her on the boob so much she'd projectile vomit cos she was so full.
Got frustrated when she wouldn't settle to sleep all night and realised in the morning her nappy had leaked and her vest, sleepsuit, sleeping bag and mattress were soaked
Pulled over the car cos she was grumpy, found a little rash on her belly, rushed her to A&E in a total panic and crying. Was rushed through to the paediatric ward. Turned out to be a heat rash cos I had wrapped her up ridiculously warm in the car on a warm day! Doh.
Packed her changing bag absolutely full and then realised I'd forgot the obvious things like a bottle or bibs. I still do this at least once a week!
Jeez I'm a terrible mother!!! xx