Support thread for all the atheist,agnostic,non-religious and secular humanist TTCers

[Lynton81]

Hello lovely ladies, really like this thread. Just thought I'd spread some love about Humanism for anyone that knows that they are not religious but doesn't know quite how to define themselves! I think sometimes if you say that you are an atheist people think that you then don't have good morals or a sense of right and wrong. Which is ridiculous!

https://www.simpleguidetohumanism.org.uk/

Lots of luck with TTC everyone, remember... God is not watching xxx

"God is not watching" - Love it. Welcome to the best thread on ttc.

I just got 100% on the humanist quiz. Evolution and Physics is one of my favourite topics, would love to do Astronomy as a post grad one day.

Like the idea of the wedding, very interesting. We had a civil ceremony in a beautiful town hall. Whenever people send me a wedding invitation to a church wedding, I groan and start thinking of excuses for what we could be doing in the day, but free in the evening for the party!! Saying that however, only one of my friends had a church wedding and she said it was purely for logistical reasons!!

xx

 

[bubbles82]

Hello lovely ladies, really like this thread. Just thought I'd spread some love about Humanism for anyone that knows that they are not religious but doesn't know quite how to define themselves! I think sometimes if you say that you are an atheist people think that you then don't have good morals or a sense of right and wrong. Which is ridiculous!

https://www.simpleguidetohumanism.org.uk/

Lots of luck with TTC everyone, remember... God is not watching xxx

"God is not watching" - Love it. Welcome to the best thread on ttc.

I just got 100% on the humanist quiz. Evolution and Physics is one of my favourite topics, would love to do Astronomy as a post grad one day.

Like the idea of the wedding, very interesting. We had a civil ceremony in a beautiful town hall. Whenever people send me a wedding invitation to a church wedding, I groan and start thinking of excuses for what we could be doing in the day, but free in the evening for the party!! Saying that however, only one of my friends had a church wedding and she said it was purely for logistical reasons!!

xx

I'm like that too! I just feel so uncomfortable in a church. I just find it a bit hypocritical when people who have no interest in religion have religious ceremonies. I was a bit disappointed in some ways that I didn't have the church wedding and the big walk down the proper aisle, church wedding pictures seem to look better! But it would've just felt weird.

 

[Lynton81]

I totally agree, I would have felt so hypocritical, just for some nice pics. I have to admit, even though the Christian religion has done a lot of harm over the centuries, they certainly have built some beautiful buildings!!


We must be close in age, were you born in 82? xxx

 

[pbl_ge]

Oh, I'm always so jealous of the folks who get to spend Sundays in gorgeous buildings surrounded by a community that probably cares a great deal about them and would likely help them out in a time of crisis!

 

[bubbles82]

Oh, I'm always so jealous of the folks who get to spend Sundays in gorgeous buildings surrounded by a community that probably cares a great deal about them and would likely help them out in a time of crisis!

Ha ha me too!

Yes Lynton, my D.O.B is 8.2.82!

 

[MrsSmartie]

Welcome to the thread! Cool link you provided--I scored 90% humanist. Only divergent answer was about how the universe began, to which I answered "I don't know" because I stopped being able to understand physicists years ago. They totally lost me.

Anyway, does one convert to humanism?

What is a humanist wedding? We had a very good friend of mine, jokingly called my life coach because he's older and likes to try to give me advice, do the ceremony. (Incidentally, he wrote this book, which funds his impressive collection of fine alcoholic beverages, so I like to give him a shout out: https://www.amazon.com/Evolution-Fo...4425054&sr=8-1&keywords=evolution+for+dummies) The ceremony was "written" by us, although that mostly included things other people wrote, like our parents who talked about their 42 and 44 year marriages. It was a lot of work!

It was soo lovely. The celebrant organised everything with us so the content was completely ours but with his guidance. We had popular love songs instead of hymns, we still had a massive wedding but it was outdoors in the courtyard of a big barn. We also had 'hand-fasting' as well as exchanging rings which is a pagan tradition where you hold hands and have a cord tying your arms together as you say your vows. (it's where the phrase 'tying the knot' comes from). Everybody loved it because it was a big white wedding but no preaching, it was all about us! Xx

 

[MrsSmartie]

I don't think you need to 'convert' to Humansim! Lol. Just identify yourself as one and that you still believe that we should treat each other well, even without a deity guiding us. Hooray! I wasn't sure about the Universe creation either, I think even the top scientists are a bit unsure about the exacts of that one! Xx

 

[RoseKitten]

What an interesting thread! I couldn't take the Humanist quiz since it seemed the assumption it ran on was "Christian/monotheist, Atheist, Agnostic, and Clueless" lol Are those of us who are non-mainstream spiritualists allowed here, too? Or is there a better thread for me?

 

[pinksprinkles]

f The celebrant organised everything with us so the content was completely ours but with his guidance. We had popular love songs instead of hymns, we still had a massive wedding but it was outdoors in the courtyard of a big barn. We also had 'hand-fasting' as well as exchanging rings which is a pagan tradition where you hold hands and have a cord tying your arms together as you say your vows. (it's where the phrase 'tying the knot' comes from). Everybody loved it because it was a big white wedding but no preaching, it was all about us! Xx

Besides the barn, this sounds exactly like my wedding! DH and I found an outdoor gazebo on the outskirts of Vegas, wrote our own vows, had an officiant perform the ceremony we wrote, and we even did a handfasting. It was really lovely. DH even humored me and we walked back down the isle to The Time of My Life from Dirty Dancing. It was so much fun. It definitely wasn't what I envisioned my wedding to be when I was a child, but it was absolutely perfect for us and I still got to wear a lovely dress and walk down the isle behind my beautiful little flower girl. Of course, all of that was followed by a lovely reception with my amazingly lovely cake! Yay!!

The only downside to the whole thing was DH's father was a complete a**hole, but we figured he would be and he saved his vile thoughts for a card to but in our "wishes box" that we didn't open until after the reception. He's a lutheran minsiter and DH apparently never informed him that he had left the church (DH is non-spiritual atheist and I'm semi-spiritual atheist, but we were both raised Christian). *facepalm* What's more is DH didn't tell ME that his family didn't know about him either, so I was completely unprepared for the "best wishes" card that told me I was going to hell and that FIL would be praying for my "return to the fold". Gag. So when it comes to weddings, the only advice I ever give out is make sure everyone knows ahead of time where you stand. (I for one have cut communication with the in-laws.)

Me and DH:

Our adorable flower girl:

I made all the flower arrangements from silk flowers, so proud of myself!

It was a small, intimate wedding, so here's everyone who was there:

The cake!

Groom's Cake:

And of course, cute little favors! (DH and I made all the little boxes ourselves.)

 

[MrsSmartie]

Aww beautiful photos! Fortunately none of my family are religious, a few of DH's were but nobody important! And everybody said they loved it and it was still as special. Ours was quite traditional but without the religious stuff. Here's a few of my piccies, I want to see everybody's wedding pics now! xx

 

[pinksprinkles]

Oooo! Beautiful dress! I love the flower design and you look absolutely gorgeous in it. And the cake even matches you. What an awesome idea! And yes- everyone should post some pics. I love wedding pictures!

 

[preg_pilot]

I don´t have any wedding pictures, as i´m getting married in December this year

We plan on going out to sea with my fosterdad, and our parents, to be married on international waters ... (he´s a captain, and can marry us at sea).
Afterwards, we´ll have a small party with roast lamb and some sort of dessert we haven´t decided on yet. About 25 ppl in total.

 

[pinksprinkles]

What a cool idea~! An out-to-sea wedding sounds like so much fun! You'll have to post pics after.

 

[StefanieC]

MrsS those are beautiful pictures and you are so pretty!

let me dig out the nicest pics of mine

 

[StefanieC]

here are pics of my civil ceremony

 

[pbl_ge]

Those are beautiful weddings! I love, love, LOVE both of your dresses, which for me is unusual. I always thought I'd have a small wedding, but then I married a man with a huge, tight knit family. It was either going to be 15 people or 200 people. We actually invited 300 people, but we didn't give them much notice so lots of people couldn't attend.

(photos removed)

 

[pbl_ge]

Maybe I should explain the rocks. As I said, both of our parents have been married for over 40 years ( I think it's now 44 and 46 years), so we asked each set to write something for the ceremony on successful marriages. Here's what they wrote, and the explanation that was read after:

On Marriage
Give us some wisdom on marriage, they said.
Thoughts started buzzing around in our heads.
They asked us if we would express
How a marriage can be a success.
The marriage will probably have a good run
If together the pair often has fun.
Shared interests can be a building block.
With us, for instance, it’s collecting rocks.
Unfortunately, troubles can lurk.
A good marriage needs relationship work.
A large disagreement, for years thereafter,
Can be the source of much great laughter.
A careful, attentive, listening ear
Has served us well year after year.
When the commitment is strong,
Marriage can be loving and long.
Patricia and Richard, you’ll find your way.
We love you and bless you on this special day!”

"You’ll note that Peter & Ellie’s hobby of collecting rocks has yielded a sufficient supply for the wedding aisles. Apparently they have many more rocks, these were just the ones that were convenient to bring over."

 

[pbl_ge]

I don´t have any wedding pictures, as i´m getting married in December this year

We plan on going out to sea with my fosterdad, and our parents, to be married on international waters ... (he´s a captain, and can marry us at sea).
Afterwards, we´ll have a small party with roast lamb and some sort of dessert we haven´t decided on yet. About 25 ppl in total.

Cool! But I have so many questions. Do you have to get a marriage license? If so, where will you get it? And can anyone officiate a wedding in international waters, or just captains?

Fascinating!

 

[MrsSmartie]

Wow the sea wedding sounds lovely! Loving all the wedding photos, keep them coming! I love how most of us had a little colour or black on our dresses! You can really see how the weddings have people's individual stamps on them without the religious aspect. All very beautiful and different.

One last piccy which was the moment everybody broke down... FIL started crying during his reading so DH put his arm around him and my BIL jumped up and finished the reading even though he has dyslexia and finds it hard to read...

 

[pinksprinkles]

Awwww! That is too sweet.