Support thread for all the atheist,agnostic,non-religious and secular humanist TTCers

[bubbles82]

How's everyone on this thread doing? Any recent BFPs? I'm still waiting to O. Might be this weekend.

It does seem like a lot of the early posters on this thread have moved on to the expecting forums!

I'm from the early posting group and no bfp for me yet :sad: *sighs*

Bubbles - I was in a similar situation last cycle - we have a trip with family booked for mid september and it would be past the 10 or so week point so I was REALLY hoping for a made all sorts of plans on how I would tell everyone....then nothing. That was a tough one
If this cycle ends in a then I'll only be like, 3 weeks when we go. Brutal. If only we were a non-drinking family

I'm CD12 today with some strange random spotting. Mild aches on my left ovary and big fat negative opk

I wish it wasn't so out of our control, I start feeling like TTC effects everything in my life way before I'm actually pregnant! I was hoping this was our month for the holiday thing and also for DH's birthday. Now I'm just thinking it if it happens in the next couple of months maybe I could have scan pictures in Christmas cards... I sometimes just wish it wasn't on my mind constantly!

 

[tsyhanochka]

I know how you feel. I have planned each month how I would surprise oh and then when we would tell family. If this is our cycle I'd plan to go home for Thanksgiving (Canada-October) and tell the family then. It would be nice as we are eloping next week so it could be a 'honeymoon baby' as far as they are concerned. Which would soften the blow of not having a big white wedding. OH is athiest and I'm not Catholic anymore.... so it wouldn't have been a church wedding. And my family can be selfish jerks so....I don't want them ruining our day.
*sigh* maybe we'll be in luck by Christmas. We are in cycle 9. I feel like a dud coming from my fertile family.

 

[pbl_ge]

If this cycle ends in a then I'll only be like, 3 weeks when we go. Brutal. If only we were a non-drinking family

I was hoping this was our month for the holiday thing and also for DH's birthday. Now I'm just thinking it if it happens in the next couple of months maybe I could have scan pictures in Christmas cards... I sometimes just wish it wasn't on my mind constantly!

Both of our families enjoy drinking, and I'm one of the most enthusiastic. We don't drink much, mind you, but everyone will suspect what's going on if I refuse the glass of wine with dinner. I've got my excuse all ready--"I'm on antibiotics, so I can't drink right now." I get UTIs with some regularity, so this isn't an unrealistic thing.

I know how you feel. I have planned each month how I would surprise oh and then when we would tell family. If this is our cycle I'd plan to go home for Thanksgiving (Canada-October) and tell the family then. It would be nice as we are eloping next week so it could be a 'honeymoon baby' as far as they are concerned. Which would soften the blow of not having a big white wedding. OH is athiest and I'm not Catholic anymore.... so it wouldn't have been a church wedding. And my family can be selfish jerks so....I don't want them ruining our day.
*sigh* maybe we'll be in luck by Christmas. We are in cycle 9. I feel like a dud coming from my fertile family.

Vacation babies!!! Isn't that supposed to be one of the best times to conceive?

And congrats on eloping! Is it a Vegas wedding? I understand about the family being jerks. Sections of mine are, too. Their obnoxious behavior is why the entire wedding weekend ended up being vegan (hubby is vegan). It was a big middle finger to a couple of the more judgmental folks.

Hope you have a great honeymoon!!!

 

[ashleyy84]

I'm on cd 11, so AF finally came and went. Woot! I think we will not ttc this month since I started thyroid medicine a week ago. I'd like to make sure the dose is right first.

Bubbles, I know what you mean. When we started ttc a few years ago I started basically acting like I was pregnant. Mostly organic foods and carefully chosen beauty products. No alcohol except for when I'm sure I'm not preggars. Hubby cleans litter box (no problem here!).

tsyhanochka, congrats on getting married! I'm envious of your plans to elope. I had hoped to have a destination wedding but everyone told me I would regret it. I can surely say that my wedding was very stressful and I would have been much happier getting married at some destination. Please do share your plans!

 

[tsyhanochka]

I've been in 4 weddings, 2 of them were family. I have always thought eloping was very romantic. I get stressed out going home to visit at the best of times, I can't imagine the stress a wedding would give me. And the logistics are another thing. OH's mom and uncle are in Europe and don't speak English, my family is in another province... NOPE!!!

So we've planned a roadtrip down to the Grand Canyon with a stop over in Vegas. Elvis will walk me down the aisle

We'll deal with my family's disappointment when we get back.

I know I won't regret this, just like I don't regret not going to my graduation for my master's degree. I don't like the attention, I don't have birthday parties, I didn't even tell people at work that we got engaged.

If my family weren't such jerks to each other, I'd love to have a simple backyard bbq with picnic blankets and no fancy clothes or shoes and a quick justice of the peace with our family and friends around us, no aisles, no giving away. Kids (nieces and nephews) could run and scream and and chase each other and no one would care if they spilled things or got dirty. That's my perfect wedding. But since we don't live in a perfect world, I'm happy to settle for me, OH and Elvis in Vegas.

 

[Lynton81]

Fantastic Tsyhanochka, have the best time ever. This thread is so refreshing in every single way. xxx

 

[Oplittleone]

Thank you for this thread! I was getting so sick of hearing "all I did was pray" and other religious things.

 

[Mrs B.]

Have a wonderful wedding tsyhanochka! We got married in Vegas...but without Elvis. We went to the Signature hotel - https://www.mgmgrandweddings.com/packages/signature-spa-wall.aspx which was really nice (but without the tables and chairs).

 

[tsyhanochka]

Thanks! We're just going alone... so we don't need anything fancy like that. But that's just lovely!

I'm only concerned that the officiant will mention god and things in the ceremony... maybe I can request it to be non religious.

I had a thought today that my matriarch aunt will likely not consider this a 'real wedding'... just like she considers me 'not really baptized' because the priest that baptized me was caught with the alter boys and 'sent away' before anything could be investigated! And she wonders why don't go to church any more.....

Ah family.

 

[pbl_ge]

Soooooo, I'm about to out myself as a total geek, so prepare yourselves. I'm a professor and researcher, and I realized that there was an opportunity here to test for the existence of a Christian god, or at least for the effectiveness of prayer on conception. We have two perfect samples:

1. Our thread, which is exclusively for people who do not identify as Christian, or more specifically identify as non-Christian.

2. The Christian thread, in which all members identify as Christian and report praying with some regularity and/or fervor for a BFP.

I know no one will be as excited as I am, but I hope you see that these two sample provide the opportunity to test whether the Christians get more BFPs, which would suggest that there is a Christian god, and He wants his faithful children to bear children.

So, I went through and counted our users (n=25) and counted the BFPs (n=7). I then went through the Christian thread, back to the same date and time that this thread started (April 5th at about 5 AM), and counted their users (n=90) and their BFPs (n=16).

Now, if you run that calculation, you'll find that we have MORE BFPs as a percentage than they do (28% versus 17.8%). When I ran a statistical test, however (Chi-square, if anyone knows what that is) these results are non-significant.

For my purposes, however, that proves that there is not significant relationship between Christian affiliation and conception (at least within this time frame). There is even evidence that the universe has a preference for non-Christian folks to achieve pregnancy.

I confess this took a bit longer than I expected (those people post a LOT!!!!), but I still hadn't finished my morning tea by the time I was done.

Does this prove that there is no Christian god? Discuss.

 

[bubbles82]

Soooooo, I'm about to out myself as a total geek, so prepare yourselves. I'm a professor and researcher, and I realized that there was an opportunity here to test for the existence of a Christian god, or at least for the effectiveness of prayer on conception. We have two perfect samples:

1. Our thread, which is exclusively for people who do not identify as Christian, or more specifically identify as non-Christian.

2. The Christian thread, in which all members identify as Christian and report praying with some regularity and/or fervor for a BFP.

I know no one will be as excited as I am, but I hope you see that these two sample provide the opportunity to test whether the Christians get more BFPs, which would suggest that there is a Christian god, and He wants his faithful children to bear children.

So, I went through and counted our users (n=25) and counted the BFPs (n=7). I then went through the Christian thread, back to the same date and time that this thread started (April 5th at about 5 AM), and counted their users (n=90) and their BFPs (n=16).

Now, if you run that calculation, you'll find that we have MORE BFPs as a percentage than they do (28% versus 17.8%). When I ran a statistical test, however (Chi-square, if anyone knows what that is) these results are non-significant.

For my purposes, however, that proves that there is not significant relationship between Christian affiliation and conception (at least within this time frame). There is even evidence that the universe has a preference for non-Christian folks to achieve pregnancy.

I confess this took a bit longer than I expected (those people post a LOT!!!!), but I still hadn't finished my morning tea by the time I was done.

Does this prove that there is no Christian god? Discuss.

Ha I love this, good work!

I would like to know how the believers explain these findings. All part of god's plan?

 

[Lynton81]

Soooooo, I'm about to out myself as a total geek, so prepare yourselves. I'm a professor and researcher, and I realized that there was an opportunity here to test for the existence of a Christian god, or at least for the effectiveness of prayer on conception. We have two perfect samples:

1. Our thread, which is exclusively for people who do not identify as Christian, or more specifically identify as non-Christian.

2. The Christian thread, in which all members identify as Christian and report praying with some regularity and/or fervor for a BFP.

I know no one will be as excited as I am, but I hope you see that these two sample provide the opportunity to test whether the Christians get more BFPs, which would suggest that there is a Christian god, and He wants his faithful children to bear children.

So, I went through and counted our users (n=25) and counted the BFPs (n=7). I then went through the Christian thread, back to the same date and time that this thread started (April 5th at about 5 AM), and counted their users (n=90) and their BFPs (n=16).

Now, if you run that calculation, you'll find that we have MORE BFPs as a percentage than they do (28% versus 17.8%). When I ran a statistical test, however (Chi-square, if anyone knows what that is) these results are non-significant.

For my purposes, however, that proves that there is not significant relationship between Christian affiliation and conception (at least within this time frame). There is even evidence that the universe has a preference for non-Christian folks to achieve pregnancy.

I confess this took a bit longer than I expected (those people post a LOT!!!!), but I still hadn't finished my morning tea by the time I was done.

Does this prove that there is no Christian god? Discuss.

Fantastic study there and all before your morning tea - hilarious!! This had actually occurred to me to check this a few weeks ago, but didn't dear look in their thread for fear of throwing my lap top out the window in frustration.

I'm surprised that wasn't statistically sig, what was the actual result on the chi? Bet it was close.

Well done. xxx

 

[pbl_ge]

Wasn't close: Chi square (df = 1) = 1.278, p = .2583.

But that's fine. With the framing hypothesis that there is no god, we wouldn't expect that non-religious folks would have MORE BFPs. We would expect exactly this--no significant difference based on religion or prayer.

And I didn't actually read their posts (although about 50% seemed to come from one person, so I put her on my ignore list so I'd have to wade through fewer posts), they should be lauded for lots of support for each other.

 

[Mrs B.]

tsyhanochka - if you just make it clear before the ceremony that you do not want anything religious you should be fine. We were very clear before ours (I was really concerned about this too) but the minister (? - not sure what you call him!!!) was lovely and didn't mention anything religious at all.

Lol, I love it pbl_ge

Haha, that made me laugh Lynton I too am rather fond of my laptop

 

[ashleyy84]

pbl_ge I admire your geekiness! I guess the power of knowledge (of our bodies) and acceptance of the fact that we don't have an almighty being covering our butts is as effective as the power of prayer. I have a friend who prays even though she doesn't believe. It's just a habit that is comforting to her. She knows she isn't praying to anyone/anything. To me it's similar to writing in a journal just to get everything out of your mind. I don't pray, but I can see how it could be therapeutic.

 

[MrsSmartie]

Hello lovely ladies, really like this thread. Just thought I'd spread some love about Humanism for anyone that knows that they are not religious but doesn't know quite how to define themselves! I think sometimes if you say that you are an atheist people think that you then don't have good morals or a sense of right and wrong. Which is ridiculous!

https://www.simpleguidetohumanism.org.uk/

Lots of luck with TTC everyone, remember... God is not watching xxx

 

[bubbles82]

Hello lovely ladies, really like this thread. Just thought I'd spread some love about Humanism for anyone that knows that they are not religious but doesn't know quite how to define themselves! I think sometimes if you say that you are an atheist people think that you then don't have good morals or a sense of right and wrong. Which is ridiculous!

https://www.simpleguidetohumanism.org.uk/

Lots of luck with TTC everyone, remember... God is not watching xxx

Hello and welcome to the thread!

I don't ever think to class myself as humanist, but I do admire it a lot. I lost my best friend in a car accident nearly 7 years ago and his parents had a humanist funeral service. My mum and I liked the way the humanist lady dealt with it so much that we contacted the same person to do the service for my dad when we tragically lost him two years ago, and my mum has requested a humanist service for herself in her funeral plan.

 

[MrsSmartie]

Aww that's nice. We had a Humanist wedding and it was lovely, it's such a shame it's not legal yet and we had to go to the registry office first and do the legal part there. Not that anybody knew that at the wedding. I enjoyed the little scientific experiment on here, it's been a long time since I heard of Chi-squared! Reminds me of my Geography A Level.

 

[bubbles82]

Aww that's nice. We had a Humanist wedding and it was lovely, it's such a shame it's not legal yet and we had to go to the registry office first and do the legal part there. Not that anybody knew that at the wedding. I enjoyed the little scientific experiment on here, it's been a long time since I heard of Chi-squared! Reminds me of my Geography A Level.

I vaguely remember something about that...I think!

That's great you had a humanist wedding, I looked into it but didn't really know how to go about it or what DH would think, we had a civil ceremony in the end as neither of us wanted anything religious involved, and it suited us fine.

 

[pbl_ge]

Welcome to the thread! Cool link you provided--I scored 90% humanist. Only divergent answer was about how the universe began, to which I answered "I don't know" because I stopped being able to understand physicists years ago. They totally lost me.

Anyway, does one convert to humanism?

What is a humanist wedding? We had a very good friend of mine, jokingly called my life coach because he's older and likes to try to give me advice, do the ceremony. (Incidentally, he wrote this book, which funds his impressive collection of fine alcoholic beverages, so I like to give him a shout out: https://www.amazon.com/Evolution-Fo...4425054&sr=8-1&keywords=evolution+for+dummies) The ceremony was "written" by us, although that mostly included things other people wrote, like our parents who talked about their 42 and 44 year marriages. It was a lot of work!