Support thread for all the atheist,agnostic,non-religious and secular humanist TTCers

[vietmamsie]

Thanks for everyone's insight on fertility treatment/adoption. It's nice to hear everyone's sides. I totally think it is a great opion for ome people, but not for others. My husband and I have very little coverage, so whatever we do will be out of pocket, 100%. That is one of the reasons we are trying to have a baby now, while we live abroad, as here it only costs about $500-1000 to have a really nice comfortable hospital birth with the best doctors in our city. The same thing in the states would cost over $10,000 out of pocket. For me it's financial, where as for my husband, he is of the mind that if it's not meant to be, it won't happen and maybe there is a reason why we can't have a baby if I can't carry a baby.

Off to acupuncture for me... need to get my period so we can move on to our next cycle. I (think) I'm ready to give TTC another go.

 

[MMW430]

I guess while it's not over until it's over...and AF isn't due until tomorrow or Thursday, I feel like I'm out. I'm getting AF cramps. I wish it would just come and be over with.

 

[tsyhanochka]

I guess while it's not over until it's over...and AF isn't due until tomorrow or Thursday, I feel like I'm out. I'm getting AF cramps. I wish it would just come and be over with.

I hear ya on that. I'm 16dpo but temps are dropping....spotting so I know she's coming. Funny thing is I would have had my hopes up if I wasn't temping....the 14dpo not dropping gave me a glimmer.... but I need this info if we're to get help.

Glad the stories helped some V. Hope you will still poke around but I respect your apprehension 100%.

 

[MMW430]

I'm thinking about starting to temp next time. I just don't really know what I'm doing as far as that goes...but from what I've been told it's easy enough.

 

[tsyhanochka]

It is easy. Get a bbt. And the site fertility friend does the work. If you have a smart phone get their app. All you have to do is take it at the same time each morning....the site/app does the rest. Its kind of neat to see my body respond to everything.

Also. If we do end up with diagnosed fertility problems I've got the perfect callous response to those who would tell me to pray....why ask for help if everything is made by design.
He ain't gonna help if He broke it in the first place....

Or things like that. I'm sure my catholic family will not take kindly to that but I don't take kindly to being a dud. And so help me if I get one St Jude medal or mention imma lose it (patron saint of hopeless causes...)

Feeling angsty today!!!

 

[pbl_ge]

It is easy. Get a bbt. And the site fertility friend does the work. If you have a smart phone get their app. All you have to do is take it at the same time each morning....the site/app does the rest. Its kind of neat to see my body respond to everything.

Also. If we do end up with diagnosed fertility problems I've got the perfect callous response to those who would tell me to pray....why ask for help if everything is made by design.
He ain't gonna help if He broke it in the first place....

Or things like that. I'm sure my catholic family will not take kindly to that but I don't take kindly to being a dud. And so help me if I get one St Jude medal or mention imma lose it (patron saint of hopeless causes...)

Feeling angsty today!!!

Lol, Tsy--nice to have your come-back line all planned out! You could also go with, "Apparently this is god's plan." If *I* were feeling particularly angsty, I might say, "Apparently this is god's goddamned plan," but that's just me.

I second the use of temping. It makes me feel soooooooo much better to know what's going on with my body, and it really does improve the chances of quick conception. Fertilityfriend.com is free (although you can pay more for a few extra features), and has a great tutorial on charting:
https://www.fertilityfriend.com/courses/
As Tsy said, the only thing you need is a high quality thermometer!

But I'm still rooting for you to not need to do any of that!

Viet!!!

 

[tsyhanochka]

YES !!! I'm stealing that. This is God's goddamn plan lol!!!

I've paid for the extra ff vip features.... they really don't seem to be worth the money.

 

[MMW430]

I might just be in a mood at the moment, (okay, I'm probably just in a mood.) but I almost think I should just NTNP for a month and see what happens.

The main reason I can't relax is that I have medication that aren't pregnancy friendly that I've been off for 2 months now.....so I NEED to get pregnant (pregnancy protects my health issues).

 

[tsyhanochka]

Can I ask what your health issues are MMW?

If you think NTNP would help you go for it. I'm trying the timed TTC route as we didn't have results with our 'spray and pray' approach (loved the phrase from a friend)

 

[vietmamsie]

MMW: Thinking of you today.. any news? I hope it's your BFP!

I guess I forgot to tell you all my story about praying: When I had the MC, I went to the ER and got an ultrasound while I was there. I was on the table and they were confirming that I had in fact had a MC and my DH made a comment about all the acupuncture I get and herbs I take, wondering if that had actually harmed me, not helped me. The doctor was appalled that I took Chinese herbs and went on and on how bad they were. DH asked him what his advice was. He replied: "You need to pray more." At least it got a laugh out of DH and I on one of the hardest days of our life!

 

[tsyhanochka]

Centuries old, tried and tested Chinese medicine is discounted.... but prayer is acceptable???
Glad you laughed at least.

 

[MMW430]

MMW: Thinking of you today.. any news? I hope it's your BFP!

I guess I forgot to tell you all my story about praying: When I had the MC, I went to the ER and got an ultrasound while I was there. I was on the table and they were confirming that I had in fact had a MC and my DH made a comment about all the acupuncture I get and herbs I take, wondering if that had actually harmed me, not helped me. The doctor was appalled that I took Chinese herbs and went on and on how bad they were. DH asked him what his advice was. He replied: "You need to pray more." At least it got a laugh out of DH and I on one of the hardest days of our life!

AF hasn't shown up...so I guess that's good. I don't really feel like she's going to show up....but it's still early (8:38 am). I'll feel better if it's Friday and there's no sign. I don't have anymore tests, and I'm not going to buy another this cycle until I actually skip. I'm still hopeful. I mean, plenty of people have AF symptoms and then get a BFP, right?

 

[tsyhanochka]

Yes! In my other group a girl just got a bfp after having spotting!!

 

[MMW430]

Yes! In my other group a girl just got a bfp after having spotting!!

I would be totally thrilled if that were the case. I'm really pretty grouchy about it all today. I just wish I knew! I am so impatient...and now I'm starting to put myself in a bad mood.

 

[pbl_ge]

I got some of the "God has a plan" during doctor's visits regarding my m/c. I don't understand how that's a comfort to anyone. But I'm clearly missing the religious gene.

And, yes, MMW, lots of people get their BFPs on the month where they're sure they're out! But isn't it terrible that you get the bad news of a when you're menstrual and in a crappy mood, anyway?

Are you TTC again, viet?

 

[MMW430]

Still no AF (yet).

I'll feel better if I can get through tomorrow and miss her...

However, I'm obsessively running into the bathroom at work to check. I just wish I could know for sure already!

 

[babyluv2012]

Still no AF (yet).

I'll feel better if I can get through tomorrow and miss her...

However, I'm obsessively running into the bathroom at work to check. I just wish I could know for sure already!

I really hope you get your BFP soon!!!

 

[babyluv2012]

So I never told you ladies how that Baby Shower/Gender Reveal Party was that I went to last Saturday...
So it actually went really well. There were so many adorable kiddos there and a one of my husbands friends wife had her 4 week old baby there and it just reaffirmed how much I want a baby. I was not jealous though which was surprising. I was just imaging how wonderful it will be to be able to experience it and I was actually very humbled and in awe of this women. It was weird I thought I was going to be sooo jealous, but no.

I just know I want a baby so much and to be able to share that with my husband is going to be sooo awesome! Hopefully I got some good baby vibes by going too because of all the kiddos, maybe it will be a signal to my ovaries!!!
You know how some women's periods line up with each other, maybe my ovaries will now be in Baby makin' mode!

 

[vietmamsie]

babyluz: Sounds like a good party. Its nice to not feel "jealous" but see other babies and have them reaffirm that you want one for your own. I work with 3 year olds everyday and I never exactly want to steal one of them and take them as my own, they remind me each day why I want to have a child of my own.

MMW: fingers crossed for you!

plb: I guess we're TTC by default? I had assumed that I wouldn't O this cycle, and if I did it certainly wouldn't be right on time on CD 20-something. To be honest we just haven't really been BDing very much, but totally by accident it looks like our only romp of the last week and a half was in perfect time for my (suspected) ovulation. Haven't gotten cross-hairs yet, but my temp has been up for the last few days now. Possibly 3DPO. Possibly testing on October 31st. This all seems a little soon, but I'm rolling with it. SS: massive amounts of creamy/slightly off white CM. Like I have to wear a liner there is so much. I had this on the last cycle as well.

Oh! And got all my blood work back, and I am healthy as can be. everything looks good, and my blood type is A+ (did I mention on this thread my Mom is RH- so there was a concern I might be as well. If you're RH- you have to get a special shot after each abortion/miscarriage/birth)

 

[MMW430]

I tested and got a BFN...but still no AF so I don't know what to think.