Support thread for all the atheist,agnostic,non-religious and secular humanist TTCers

[Sbmack]

Viet, my husband is the same way. Always seeing the good in everything. Telling me to be happy for them. I am of course, it's just frusterating.

I have told too many ppl we are ttc. Everyone has been supportive for the most part, I just hate being told to relax. Like I saw on another thread, the next person who tells me to relax might get a kick in the face.

I had a girls night last night with my closest friends. One of them moved accross the country and is back east visiting. I got so annoyed with her. She kept complaining about how hard it is flying with two kids (an 8 month old and a 9 yr old). I wish I had that to complain about. She also told me 'your not supposed to try to get pregnant'. She's lucky I didn't really hear her at the time bc she may have gotten a kick to the face. Everyone else has been compassionate though. These are girls I've been friends with for almost 20 years so if I can talk to anyone about it it's them. It does make me feel better. Only two of them have children. One is certain she doesn't want them and the other three are waiting. We are all 31/32 so it makes me feel like I still have time. Also another friend is 37 and got pregnant again right away.

 

[MamaTex]

Viet, my husband is the same way. Always seeing the good in everything. Telling me to be happy for them. I am of course, it's just frusterating.

I have told too many ppl we are ttc. Everyone has been supportive for the most part, I just hate being told to relax. Like I saw on another thread, the next person who tells me to relax might get a kick in the face.

I had a girls night last night with my closest friends. One of them moved accross the country and is back east visiting. I got so annoyed with her. She kept complaining about how hard it is flying with two kids (an 8 month old and a 9 yr old). I wish I had that to complain about. She also told me 'your not supposed to try to get pregnant'. She's lucky I didn't really hear her at the time bc she may have gotten a kick to the face. Everyone else has been compassionate though. These are girls I've been friends with for almost 20 years so if I can talk to anyone about it it's them. It does make me feel better. Only two of them have children. One is certain she doesn't want them and the other three are waiting. We are all 31/32 so it makes me feel like I still have time. Also another friend is 37 and got pregnant again right away.

I am jelly that you get to have girl time. Two of my closest female friends moved away and so I usually end up with no one (female) to talk to. I thought I had potentially made some new lady friends recently, but that hasn't panned out so I am back to square one. Sorry to hear you have an insensitive friend. There is much worse to experience in life than flying with young kids!

 

[tsyhanochka]

Hey mamatex what is that I see in your ticker? Did you just find out?

 

[vietmamsie]

MamaTex: Update us please! I see a new ticker in your signature!!!

 

[Sbmack]

MamaTex: Update us please! I see a new ticker in your signature!!!

Yes, update please!

 

[tsyhanochka]

MamaTex: Update us please! I see a new ticker in your signature!!!

Yes, update please!

And now the ticker is gone

 

[GingerPanda]

Just logged in to Facebook. Teen cousin's friend has posted a (super classy) picture of her positive pregnancy test. I'm not even sure if this girl has a boyfriend, and now she's writing a bunch of posts about drama and fighting with her brother online. *sigh*

And a friend from college posted a picture of his baby girl who was born today. She's super cute... and 12/12/12 is an amazing birthday.

Still. I'm jealous. I can't log in to Facebook anymore without somebody being pregnant or having a baby!

 

[pbl_ge]

RE Mamatex--may or may not mean anything. Not everyone keeps a ticker. In the 35+ forums I frequent, the norm is to keep them hidden by spoilers (if you have them) as a default. I am a big, big, big fan of this. So, she might have just decided not to keep them. Of course, it could also be sad news.

Sorry about FB and all the babies, Ginger. It doesn't make it easy, does it?

Nothing new here. Still waiting on the mysterious arrival of AF to try again. I've had a couple of odd symptoms, but 99.9999% sure this month is a no go, so I'm just bored and frustrated. Keeping busy on home renovations in the meantime.

How are y'all?

 

[GingerPanda]

No, it does not. Every time I go on there, somebody else who wasn't even trying is pregnant. Or some couple who JUST got married is saying "Oooh! We got pregnant on our honeymoon night! How romantic!" and they don't even have jobs.

 

[pbl_ge]

Ugh. I hear you. Elitist snob confession: I am troubled by some of the TTC women here who seem virtually illiterate. Another reason I'm selective about which forums I visit.

 

[GingerPanda]

Ugh. I hear you. Elitist snob confession: I am troubled by some of the TTC women here who seem virtually illiterate. Another reason I'm selective about which forums I visit.

I know EXACTLY how you feel! I'm 23, and I can't understand half of what people my age are posting on social networking sites. How on earth are you graduating with a bachelor's in nursing, and you won't even spell out "y-o-u"? I certainly wouldn't want you updating my medical files!

And someone will always say "It's the internet! I don't have to spell things correctly on the internet!" Well... No. But why did you spend all that time and effort going through basic schooling if you weren't going to, you know, learn.

/end rant

Ah, that little vent was nice. I don't expect anyone to have 100% perfect capitalization, punctuation, and grammar. I just want to know what you're trying to say.

 

[vietmamsie]

I have pretty much given up on facebook, just go on to respond to messages or see if pictures of me that have been posted are flattering. Every time I go on - just once a month or so - someone is pregnant or just had a baby.

As for good spelling and grammar, can't say I've very good at it... I know some of my posts on here must have been a mess. I always spell check, but spelling has never been my strong point.

What I can't stand on here are girls that are TTC crazed, but don't even seem to know how fertility/the woman's body works. I have read some outrageous things on BnB. I was also very surprised at how many women in the pregnancy area appear to be unemployed teenagers.

 

[vietmamsie]

Pbl - I'm also very selective about which forums I go to and write on. I only have about 5 threads that I check in on regularly. I think since I have experienced loss and this whole thing has taken much longer that I had originally thought, all the fun has been taken out of it. Also, I can't get so freakin' ecstatic about the whole thing as some of the younger girls on here.

I like the idea of using the spoiler, I think I will do that in the future if I ever get pregnant again.

 

[MrS. MaBrEy]

I think I may go ahead and wrap my tickers in a spoiler one of the reasons I never post in here is because I have my tickers and I feel awful. I spent 4 years scowling at those tickers with complete jealousy wishing they would hide them...and then straight out the window that went when it was my own ticker shame on me.
I got a nasty message the other day from someone on here saying I should be ashamed of myself for spending 4 years trying with no job. I was really irritated by it. If i were a teenager it would be one thing, but I am an adult. I have been married to my husband for 5 years, we have total financial stability, and I live in a foreign country that will not hire Americans unless they speak fluent German. I would literally be working for childcare on post here (think 8$ an hour) and we don't need the money. what's the point? I love being a SAHW and my husband loves having me here all the time. going from SAHW to SAHM will make the deal all that much sweeter.

 

[vietmamsie]

I love reading peoples signatures and looking at their tickers. I like how we just all put it out there: how long we have been ttc, any losses, ages, fertility problems, treatments we're doing, etc.

If you are financially stable, I see no problem in having a baby. I'm sure you would be able to get a job if you return to the states, it's not like you wouldn't work if you needed to. My hubs and I also like in a foreign country. We both work, but save 100% of my pay and about half of my husbands as well. It's nice to know when a little one finally does come along, I can stay at home with the baby for at least the first year with out feeling like I need to go back to work to pull my weight.

 

[Janeybabydee]

Hi everyone.
I'm new to BnB. Feeling very frustrated at the minute. Finally decided to ttc but after taking my last BC, AF did not arrive!!! Now after two trips to the doctor, several bfns and almost every symptom under the sun my doctor says I may still be pregnant but sometimes it can take some people weeks to get bfp. So just wait and keep doing tests!
I know that a lot of people who have been ttc for a long time will probably be a LOT more frustrated than me right now, but I thought this time would be amazing but instead me and my fiancé are just confused and don't know what to think.
Obviously I'd rather get bfp than AF but right now I'd settle for either just so I know what's going on!!!

 

[GingerPanda]

Mrs.Mabrey: I'm a SAHW too, after quitting my job at the end of October. What I was making was barely enough to cover childcare and gas once we had a child. I was trapped in retail, and my faith in humanity was sinking like a rock after being stuck in retail for several years. Luckily, my husband's job is amazing, and he makes way more than enough to support us on his own. My mental health, being able to care for our home, and working on my personal projects is worth so much more than all the aggravation of dealing with the "masses".

It sounds like whoever had a go at you was jealous? Whatever the case, they were certainly very quick to comment on your personal matters without apparently understanding your situation. Me, I was stuck in a job where I was constantly wanting to ask some of my customers "Do you vote? Do they ACTUALLY let you drive a car? In the real world? Where we are? Not in your crazy world, where you think a grown person should be throwing tantrums in public because this thing was on sale last week, but you couldn't be bothered to come get it then?" Ooooh, I am FULL of crazy customer stories.


Janeybabydee:
Most women's cycles are messed up when they come off of BC. Especially if they were on it for a while. I'm really surprised your doctor wouldn't tell you this! What CD are you? If it's been lomg enough for two doctor trips, I would say it's been long enough to show up on a test. I would think your doctor should have done an in-office test by now, and prescribed you Provera to start your period if it was negative. But that would only be if you've missed two periods, I guess. If you've been on BC for a while, it could take months for your body to regulate, or even start ovulating. This is not true for everyone, of course, as some people get pregnant immediately after they stop taking it, but many women have lingering effects.

It seems negligent that your doctor would let you come back twice and not even tell you this.

I hope you get it all straightened out soon, and of course that you're surprised with a late blooming BFP! But if not, missed periods are easy to fix with a couple doses of Provera to get you on the way to next cycle.

 

[tsyhanochka]

I won't let myself make a ticker until I hear a heartbeat. My DH had to sit through tears this morning as I listed off the reasons why I can't get attached to my belly until I k ow there is something in there to get attached to. With my family history of loss I just can't get my hopes up just like I stopped getting my hopes up for a bfp.

Word of warning....the preggo forums aren't much better as MrsM said but I found a thread for July that is overall OK. We have quite a few sahm/sahw. I admire anyone with that choice. I couldn't stay home DH would be the one to do it I think if we had to make that choice.

 

[Janeybabydee]

Thanks GingerPanda, I'm now 18 days late. As for the BC messing up my cycle I hadn't even come off it properly, I was on my usual 7 day break but not planning on starting my next pack. I've been on BC for 11 years and have never even been more than a few hours later or earlier than expected! Also with regards to late bfp, I know it's not really common and don't want to get my hopes up too high (difficult with all my symptoms!) but along with my docs advice I also know some people who didn't get a bfp until 8+ weeks. All together a confusing situation so stuck waiting for bfp or next af.

 

[Sbmack]

Ugh. I hear you. Elitist snob confession: I am troubled by some of the TTC women here who seem virtually illiterate. Another reason I'm selective about which forums I visit.

Haha. I feel the same way. And, Tsy, you definitely don't fall into that category. For me, it's not the spelling, because anyone can make that mistake, it's the language and word choice. Ginger, i agree that it does have a lot to do with social media (and the popularity of texting).

Mrs. E, don't feel bad for not working. Especially in a foreign country! I know if we can pull it off, I may do the same...or work part time. If we are lucky enough to have two then I'll most likely stay at home. Child care is so expensive these days.

My take on the tickers is that I like seeing the story of how long someone has been trying and when and how (if they needed ivf) they got their BFP. I haven't taken the time to update mine, but I like seeing others.

Welcome Janey.

Tsy, you'll here that heartbeat soon!!