Surrogate Mothers & Hopefuls: What made you decide?

[Croc-O-Dile]

Whether you are a surrogate mother or you plan to be one, at some point you made a conscious and selfless decision that this is something you wanted to look into (and then pursue). It could be because of a book that mentioned it, a movie, a personal experience, etc.
I thought it would be nice for everyone to share their story as to why they chose or plan to be a surrogate.

For me, it was when my aunt, who I'm very close with, was going through a lot of testing because of abnormal cells found on a PAP. The doctor she was seeing was very rude and only in it for the money. After a long battle with them she switched doctors and there was a chance that because of the testing they screwed up on she might not be able to have children. I felt terrible, as she has always wanted children. So that's when I decided I was going to one day be a Gestational Surrogate.
Luckily everything turned out fine with her and she can have her own children. But it did make me realize that this was something I really wanted to do one day, after I'm done having my own children.

Now, I'm obviously not a surrogate mother at the moment, so I probably have no business posting here. But, I still think this would be a nice thread to help all of you get to know one another.

 

[Cariad_bach]

I plan to be one,
I looked into it a while ago and was getting to grips with the legal side of it but fell pregnant with Jamie,
Now he's nearly 1 im back to looking into doing it again,

Im hoping to become a Gestational Surrogate but would coincided being a Traditional Surrogate altho i think mentally it will be alot harder to handle.

I love being pregnant, i fall easily and carry it well, i don't get ill or anything .. my heart brakes for ladies not so lucky, it seems so unfair.

I just want to help, id already discussed it with my kids and they all knew i was planing on letting some other ladies baby borrow my tummy to grow in because not everyone's tummy can grow a baby very well.

Its a journey im looking forwards to going on ... i think i will have to get all the blood tests re-done again as its 18 - 24 months since i first had them done.




What you were going to do for your Aunt was a wonderful thing hun you will make a great surrogate for someone im sure xxxxx

 

[pinkmummy]

I am hoping to become a surrogate eventually.

I started going through surrogacy last year and even got the opportunity to meet a very lovely couple but due to OH and I planning to get married this September and my parents being dead set against it, it has been put on hold.

Obviously I know how hard it will be for myself and OH and the kids mentally which is why I think it is a good idea for us to wait for a few more years until the kids are a little older and can understand better.

 

[AppleBlossom]

I want to be a surrogate for my auntie and uncle. They're both in their 30's and the loveliest people you will ever meet but the world is against them in so many different ways. My auntie had type 1 diabetes and has problems with her eyesight and her feet etc. My uncle was diagnosed with skin cancer a couple of years ago which thankfully he got the all clear from. Bu he recently had to be tested for it again but it was negative. But the main thing is, they have been TTC for so long and got nowhere. My auntie DID get pregnant a few years ago but miscarried at around 3 months. They have always been there for me, they are so good with kids and are Grace's godparents. I have always thought that after all they have done for me the one thing I could give them was a child. I don't think it would be weird, I don't particularly want anymore children of my own. So in a few years, if they have had no luck, I am going to ask them if they want me to be a surrogate. I think it's the most amazing thing you can do for someone, give them a life. But obviously there are obstacles you would need to think through properly first

 

[lozzy21]

I want to be a surrogate when im finished having my children. I dont know why, its just something iv allways wanted to do.

 

[bubbles]

I plan on being a surrogate when I am done for definate having my own children. I would have done it earlier but my husband was a bit sceptical as anything could go wrong which may end up in me not being able to have anymore children and he wanted us to be happy with our family before helping someone else with theirs. I don't know what made me decide I wanted to do it it was just something I knew I could do to help another couple have a family, I love being pregnant and as selfish as it may sound I would love to know that my body was able to bring so much love and happiness to another couple and make them a family

 

[mandaa1220]

I'm very interested in being a surrogate one day as well... I think it's an amazing gift that you can give someone. This is all assuming I am able to get pregnant - since I haven't TTC yet. I look forward to reading responses throughout this section and hearing other stories.

 

[fordy]

i currently am a surrogate mother (traditional) for my little sister....what made my and my oh decided this is because she is a perfect aunty for our kids she helped me raise my three older children and is the god mother to my youngest, ( i have 4) and she cant have babies herself due to elispy (spell?) and also because she is gay she has found it hard to find a sperm donor and the aussie government forbiddens gays from adopting which sucks.. so here we are pregnant with her baby lol

 

[dontworry]

I've always wanted to be a surrogate mother.
My biggest fear in life is not being able to have children - pregnancy and childbirth has always been so fascinating to me, and to not be able to experience that must be devastating. I'm "just a kid" right now, but I would love to give the gift of life to someone who isn't able to experience it first hand. I don't know when or where I'll be in five, ten, twenty years, but surrogacy is something I'm very interested in.

 

[Charlotteee]

I think i want to be a surrogate when i've finished having my children.

I mentioned this to my OH and he was a bit against it but having seen me lose a child, he understands why i would want to help other women who can't carry a child.

I dont even know myself if i can carry a child yet. I have only ever been pregnant once and lost it. So only time will tell. But i would love to be a surrogate xx

 

[Cariad_bach]

i currently am a surrogate mother (traditional) for my little sister....what made my and my oh decided this is because she is a perfect aunty for our kids she helped me raise my three older children and is the god mother to my youngest, ( i have 4) and she cant have babies herself due to elispy (spell?) and also because she is gay she has found it hard to find a sperm donor and the aussie government forbiddens gays from adopting which sucks.. so here we are pregnant with her baby lol

Wow thats a really amazing thing your doing for your sister hun

With the legal situation preventing her from adopting what will you do legally with her baby ... do you sign over parental responsibility to her?

I hate the law sometimes,

Here apparently you cant advertise that you need a surrogate,
You cant advertise yourself as a surrogate for someone either.

I know its to protect people but it makes it hard to meat people who need your help or who can help.

There are alot of agencies who will help you meat couples .. but all tho its free for potential surrogates to join couples needing a surrogate have to pay a large fee ... its like only the rich can become parents

The 1 good law we have tho is that in the UK you cant profit from being a surrogate mum ... you can claim expenses but if the judge asks for your financial records and suspects you have charged a 'fee' he can refuse to sign the paperwork which is great IMO because i think the idea of woman charging a large fee to be a surrogate is soo unfair

 

[Croc-O-Dile]

i currently am a surrogate mother (traditional) for my little sister....what made my and my oh decided this is because she is a perfect aunty for our kids she helped me raise my three older children and is the god mother to my youngest, ( i have 4) and she cant have babies herself due to elispy (spell?) and also because she is gay she has found it hard to find a sperm donor and the aussie government forbiddens gays from adopting which sucks.. so here we are pregnant with her baby lol

Wow thats a really amazing thing your doing for your sister hun

With the legal situation preventing her from adopting what will you do legally with her baby ... do you sign over parental responsibility to her?

I hate the law sometimes,

Here apparently you cant advertise that you need a surrogate,
You cant advertise yourself as a surrogate for someone either.

I know its to protect people but it makes it hard to meat people who need your help or who can help.

There are alot of agencies who will help you meat couples .. but all tho its free for potential surrogates to join couples needing a surrogate have to pay a large fee ... its like only the rich can become parents

The 1 good law we have tho is that in the UK you cant profit from being a surrogate mum ... you can claim expenses but if the judge asks for your financial records and suspects you have charged a 'fee' he can refuse to sign the paperwork which is great IMO because i think the idea of woman charging a large fee to be a surrogate is soo unfair

I agree! Although I do feel that if you're a GS then it would only be fair for the couple to pay a portion of the cost of your IVF. (Assuming your insurance doesn't cover it) But I agree, making personal profit off of being a surrogate is quite unfair.

 

[Cariad_bach]

The 1 good law we have tho is that in the UK you cant profit from being a surrogate mum ... you can claim expenses but if the judge asks for your financial records and suspects you have charged a 'fee' he can refuse to sign the paperwork which is great IMO because i think the idea of woman charging a large fee to be a surrogate is soo unfair

I agree! Although I do feel that if you're a GS then it would only be fair for the couple to pay a portion of the cost of your IVF. (Assuming your insurance doesn't cover it) But I agree, making personal profit off of being a surrogate is quite unfair.

Yer thats one of the things that puts me off being a GS,
It would involve loads of traveling because i live 150 odd miles from the nearest hospital that will implant the eggs etc so the expenses would be quite high for traveling and possible over night accommodation
My OH has issues with the idea of me being a TS tho!

 

[HannahGraceee]

i would love love love to be a surrogate! not only because i love being pregnant, but i look at my little girl and think of all the people being same sex couples or people that just cant have them for medical reasons and anything inbetween and it breaks my heart

when i tell people i want to do it, they call me stupid!

 

[winegums]

i would love to do this some day! i adore being pregnant it's the best bit about having children! haha! no but seriously.. one of my best friends is a lesbian and i have had many gay friends also lived with my mum from when i was little she was ttc till i was a teenager and the only way she could get a surragat was to pay a lot of money that she didn't have she couldn't cope with things and became depressed, addicted to alcohol and anorexic .... she then got ataxia from alcohol abuse and not eating and now is in a wheel chair!! so i know that's quite drastic BUT people do not realise what TTC does to some people it is such a stressful frustrating upsetting thing sometimes and i would just love to help people and give them a little baby that they want so much! it's not fair some of us get pregnant easily (not me lol but still) and have easily uncomplicated pregnancies (me lol) whilst others can't!!!

i have talked to OH about it a few times at first he thought i was mad and was like no way you're doing that, but he is quite a ... what's the word... selfish? person. i love him but as long as he is ok and me and our son he never goes out of his way to help others anyway i told him it doesn't matter what he says when we have finished having children and our family is complete i am definately doing this for someone

xxx

 

[Jemma_x]

Id love to be a surrogate but i doubt id be able to because of my health and ive had really bad pregnancies which made my health worse.

 

[xMissxZoiex]

I would also like a surrogate after i have done having my own children, i have been pregnant twice and lost both times so i dont know if my body can carry a sucessful pregnancy yet either but knowing the heart ache no being able to get pregnant is i would love to make a lovely couple happy x

 

[Akira]

I have offered to be a surrogate for my sister if she continutes having problems TTC.

I would prefer to be a GS, however if that is not possible I am happy to be a TS.

There was never any question of it for me, because I know she will make a fantastic Mummy and also I know she wouldn't hesitate to do it for me if the tables were turned.

I would never charge her for being a surrogate, its my choice, my gift to her. The only thing I would ask if that there is a cost involved (like IVF) then she pay that. I would never do it to make money, IMO thats just wrong

 

[special_kala]

I would like to be a surrogate in a few years. My pregnancy with River went well and and I enjoy being pregnant. It must be amazing to be able to give someone a child.

 

[Blob]

I'd looked into doing this after we're finished having children...however my OH is quite against it just now as he sees it that i'm risking my life when i have children? My only other thing is that i get awful awful MS so thats pretty rubbish. Its the most amazing thing you can ever do for someone and i would very much do it for friends and family, however only time will tell.