Surrogate Mothers & Hopefuls: What made you decide?

[Pink_Tinks]

ever since i was about 16 i have said i would like to be a surrogate...no idea why.
I loved being pregnant and cant wait to be pregnant again, but i do want my own children first (tho i think two is enought for me!) i feel sooo lucky to have carried and had a child and i cant even imagine how someone who cant have one who really wants to be a mum would feel.

i just have no idea how you would get the chance to be one...?! Think my OH is against it at the moment, but dont know what will happen in the future.

 

[Georgie90]

i would love to be a surrogate, to be able to give someone that gift its amazing. However, I just dont think I could do it xx

 

[MUMOF5]

I would definately be a GS for someone unable to carry their own baby, be it friend/family or stranger. Im done having my own babies now and would love to help to give someone the most precious gift in the world. Im not sure how DH would feel though . xx

 

[Cariad_bach]

I would definately be a GS for someone unable to carry their own baby, be it friend/family or stranger. Im done having my own babies now and would love to help to give someone the most precious gift in the world. Im not sure how DH would feel though . xx

My DH is my biggest problem at the mo .. he knows i want to help etc,

At first he was saying 'what will the kids think' but the kids understand, then it was 'what will other people think' but im afraid i couldn't care less what other people think of me!
But now it seems to have boiled down to a male macho 'my wife will be carrying another mans child' thing ... silly bloke, he understands it wouldn't be my child either but he still feels weird about it

 

[MUMOF5]

I would definately be a GS for someone unable to carry their own baby, be it friend/family or stranger. Im done having my own babies now and would love to help to give someone the most precious gift in the world. Im not sure how DH would feel though . xx

My DH is my biggest problem at the mo .. he knows i want to help etc,

At first he was saying 'what will the kids think' but the kids understand, then it was 'what will other people think' but im afraid i couldn't care less what other people think of me!
But now it seems to have boiled down to a male macho 'my wife will be carrying another mans child' thing ... silly bloke, he understands it wouldn't be my child either but he still feels weird about it

That is exactly the opinion of my DH , that and the fact he would be put off having sex with me whilst i was carrying someone elses baby. I guess i can respect his views, even though i dont agree with them . xx

 

[TTCMetalMom]

I was a surrogate (an unsuccessful one)....I was under the recommended age for a surrogate, nor was I with an agency...I was 16 and didn't want children of my own. I am now 18 and WTT.

My Mothers best friend (at the time) was in her late 40s and has also got Crohns and had had lots of surgery so natural conception was never going to happen for her. She had her 1st child at 14 (but gave him up for adoption) and had her second son 19 years ago (my ex-best friend) and her partner was in his mid 30s and more desparate for a child than her.

I agreed to be a surrogate, using his sperm and my egg. I also gave them only 6 attempts to conceive....meaning two or three 'inseminations' for each attempt. After my 1st cycle I reached 18 weeks without a period and we all thought that it had worked straight away....I wasn't pregnant, I was then diagnosed with PCOS

The other attempts happened anyway and then I agreed to do one last cycle within the 6 months of the agreement. The woman then twisted that and tried to make me do it every month for six months. I refused....she had put down rules during the 18 months of trying to carry a child for them....I was 16 at the time, she told me not to date (ie. have sex with anyone), not to drink any alcohol at all, to avoid going out and much more, as well as she'd often ask if I still wanted to do it and I had no choice but to say 'yes' because once I said 'no' and I was physically thrown out of the house. I had total mental breakdowns during the 18 months.

I was not paid anything for even trying, despite 18 months of my life were taken away from me, and if it was successful I would have been given £5000....even though I've heard that the average expences are around the £10000 mark. The man stills wants a baby and is rumoured to be leaving her soon because he doesn't have one, he is still capable of becoming a father.

Be careful when being a surrogate, you might end up with manipulative couples who can ruin your life and mental health.

 

[MUMOF5]

I was a surrogate (an unsuccessful one)....I was under the recommended age for a surrogate, nor was I with an agency...I was 16 and didn't want children of my own. I am now 18 and WTT.

My Mothers best friend (at the time) was in her late 40s and has also got Crohns and had had lots of surgery so natural conception was never going to happen for her. She had her 1st child at 14 (but gave him up for adoption) and had her second son 19 years ago (my ex-best friend) and her partner was in his mid 30s and more desparate for a child than her.

I agreed to be a surrogate, using his sperm and my egg. I also gave them only 6 attempts to conceive....meaning two or three 'inseminations' for each attempt. After my 1st cycle I reached 18 weeks without a period and we all thought that it had worked straight away....I wasn't pregnant, I was then diagnosed with PCOS

The other attempts happened anyway and then I agreed to do one last cycle within the 6 months of the agreement. The woman then twisted that and tried to make me do it every month for six months. I refused....she had put down rules during the 18 months of trying to carry a child for them....I was 16 at the time, she told me not to date (ie. have sex with anyone), not to drink any alcohol at all, to avoid going out and much more, as well as she'd often ask if I still wanted to do it and I had no choice but to say 'yes' because once I said 'no' and I was physically thrown out of the house. I had total mental breakdowns during the 18 months.

I was not paid anything for even trying, despite 18 months of my life were taken away from me, and if it was successful I would have been given £5000....even though I've heard that the average expences are around the £10000 mark. The man stills wants a baby and is rumoured to be leaving her soon because he doesn't have one, he is still capable of becoming a father.

Be careful when being a surrogate, you might end up with manipulative couples who can ruin your life and mental health.

Oh my goodness, it sounds absolutely terrible, it sounds like you were exploited to me. I dont mean to patronise you but how at the age of 16 could they even consider you to be a viable option??!! It is highly recommended that any surrogate has finished having their own children before they embark on surrogacy and that they have couselling, you legally were still a child yourself!! I wish you every luck in the world when you try for your own children . xx

 

[Sassy_TTC]

Wow this thread really gives me hope that some day I might be a mummy, I have plenty of good eggs but seem unable to carry a child. We are seriously looking at surrogacy, I think its amazing that some women are willing to carry a child for somebody else, my mum offered to be one for us but we declined. xxxx

 

[Cariad_bach]

Aww TTCMetalmom it sounds like you had a horrible experience, i agree it sounds like you were badly exploited as for any money .. in the UK its law that you can only claim Genuine expensive .. i think its up to £15000 for people with huge travel costs, medical costs, possible child care costs of other children etc etc but if its high you have to prove the expenses to the court, Its such a shame you were treated how you were xx

MUMOF5 my OH will get his head around the idea eventually .. im just drip feeding it to him at the mo ... all i need to do now is make it sound like it was his idea to start with and im on a winner lol.

Sassy hugs hun, have you joined or look in to the UK surrogacy agencies etc?

 

[XxxIM08-09xxX]

Can I just say, that as the lucky mother of the most beautifuly 6 month old daughter - through surrogacy - that all you ladies who are considering doing such a selfless thing are simply amazing.

My DH and I were ttc for 16 years before we finally realised that surrogacy was our final and only option to achieve our dream of a baby together.

There are 100s of successful and happy surrogacy journeys taking place throughout the UK each year, but unfortunately only the ones that go wrong seem to hit the media - we all know the newspapers want to sell papers and the more controversial and salacious the stories the better. It seems that they are not interested in all the beautiful families which have been created through surrogacy.

My friend Sharon has 4 children of her own and had a deep longing to help childless couples. I was lucky enough to meet her on an infertility support forum where she had been researching how to go about surrogacy. I was at that time matched with someone else who I had met through a surrogacy group but unfortunately for us, she fell pregnant to her own partner and our journey couldn't continue. Sharon and I had become good online buddies by that time and I was giving her some advice about the process and legalities in the UK. When she heard what had happened to us with our previous surrogate, she had no hesitation in stepping up to the mark and offered to help us.

We already knew each other pretty well from our epic msn conversations, but took it one step further and met face to face and spent a few months getting to know each other really well before embarking on our journey together. She is the most wonderful person I have ever met and what she has done for me and my DH is just the most remarkable thing any human being could do for another.

I am currently living on Cloud 999 with my beautiful new daughter and Sharon has kindly offered to have a wee brother or sister for her which we plan to start trying for next summer.

If anyone wants to ask me anything about surrogacy, I'm pretty well versed having just been through the whole process and have actually set up a friendship forum for surrogates and IPs in the UK called Friendship through Surrogacy:-

https://excoboard.com/friendshipthroughsurrogacy

To all you fabulous women who are contemplating becoming surrogates - from a grateful mummy can I just say that you have the ability to change lives, and to all those IPs who have no other option let to them but surrogacy, it can be, and was for us, the most wonderful experience of our lives.

 

[lottie7]

Just read the above post - what an amazing story. It's a shame that the media only seem to report on the ones that go 'wrong'. There are so many more positively amazing stories that no one hears about. Above being one such example. Clearly you have a friendship for life with your surrogate.

 

[Cariad_bach]

Can I just say, that as the lucky mother of the most beautifuly 6 month old daughter - through surrogacy - that all you ladies who are considering doing such a selfless thing are simply amazing.

My DH and I were ttc for 16 years before we finally realised that surrogacy was our final and only option to achieve our dream of a baby together.

There are 100s of successful and happy surrogacy journeys taking place throughout the UK each year, but unfortunately only the ones that go wrong seem to hit the media - we all know the newspapers want to sell papers and the more controversial and salacious the stories the better. It seems that they are not interested in all the beautiful families which have been created through surrogacy.

My friend Sharon has 4 children of her own and had a deep longing to help childless couples. I was lucky enough to meet her on an infertility support forum where she had been researching how to go about surrogacy. I was at that time matched with someone else who I had met through a surrogacy group but unfortunately for us, she fell pregnant to her own partner and our journey couldn't continue. Sharon and I had become good online buddies by that time and I was giving her some advice about the process and legalities in the UK. When she heard what had happened to us with our previous surrogate, she had no hesitation in stepping up to the mark and offered to help us.

We already knew each other pretty well from our epic msn conversations, but took it one step further and met face to face and spent a few months getting to know each other really well before embarking on our journey together. She is the most wonderful person I have ever met and what she has done for me and my DH is just the most remarkable thing any human being could do for another.

I am currently living on Cloud 999 with my beautiful new daughter and Sharon has kindly offered to have a wee brother or sister for her which we plan to start trying for next summer.

If anyone wants to ask me anything about surrogacy, I'm pretty well versed having just been through the whole process and have actually set up a friendship forum for surrogates and IPs in the UK called Friendship through Surrogacy:-

https://excoboard.com/friendshipthroughsurrogacy

To all you fabulous women who are contemplating becoming surrogates - from a grateful mummy can I just say that you have the ability to change lives, and to all those IPs who have no other option let to them but surrogacy, it can be, and was for us, the most wonderful experience of our lives.

What a great story, thanks for sharing, im so happy for you .. i'd love to make someone feel like you do now

 

[Cariad_bach]

Ive just had a look at your link and applied to resister for a look, thanks xx

 

[Weeplin]

I think all those who would like to be surrogate mothers are awesome and giving such a gift. I would love to do it but I honestly don't think I could, even though the child wouldn't be mine I know I would grow too attached whilst pregnant and it would tear me apart to hand the baby over.

 

[kiwimama]

What a beautiful story IM08-09. I wish you all the best as you embark on ttc a little brother or sister for Maya.

Does anyone know the criteria for being a surrogate? Obviously age and having finished your own family is important but wondered if things like previous miscarriages etc, would hinder the process.

 

[JustJack]

Hi Kiwimama,

Have a look here https://www.surrogacyuk.org/whatissurrogacya.html this will tell you what you need to know , if you have any questions feel free to pm me '

Jackie

 

[Guppy051708]

Hi girls! Is there anyone that is currently a surrogate or going through the paperwork to become a surrogate? In the States it works a bit differently but the outcome is all the same (a beautiful baby for a loving family).

Within the last month or so I have gone through the application process with 3 agencies here in America (Simple Surrogacy, Circle Surrogacy, and the Center for Surrogacy and Egg Donation (CSED)) after sending out my profile and having an interview with CSED I have chosen to go with them as a Gestational Surrogate. I cannot wait to help a couple have their baby! And I love love love being Pregnant!

Now, I am looking at being pregnant around March as a GS. I am looking specifically for a surrogate bump buddy do I have any takers?

 

[alisurro]

I am a TS (traditional surrogate, so my egg was used). I've done two journeys so far. I had a baby boy in 2008 and another baby boy in 2010 (two different couples). I am now looking forward to doing a third and final journey sometime in 2011. I am talking to a few couples now and am narrowing it down slowly but surely.

For me, what clinched my desire to help others was seeing a friend suffer an unimaginable loss around the time in which I had my daughter six years ago. Seeing her and her husband suffer through it, just made me realize, I can't sit around saying I want to help others - I have to DO IT. So, I DID!

Surrogacy has been one of the most difficult and one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. It's taught me a lot and I hope in turn is helping my children to learn a lot about being giving.

 

[MissyMooMoo]

Bookmarking x

 

[nlz2468]

Just wanted to jump in a say all you woman are amazing wanting to be a surrogate and bring happiness to woman who cant have children or have difficulty concieving!

A surrogate is an amazing person and it is a great thing one person could do for another!

I have been ttc for 3 years with one mc i am now about to start fertilty treatment clomid to help me along my way but i have always thought about surrogacy for a while now and me and the oh have also spoke about it and have both agreed that hopefully one day if we cant have a child of our own we would love to have a surrogate to carry our baby for us we are considering both Traditional or Gestational depending on quality of embryos and costs but we would definitely like to if all else fails i would like the chance to become someones mum and to share my love for them and protect them from harm. Maybe one day i might experience being a mum

you woman are wonderful and make alot of other couples dreams come true! x