*TEAM 2012 BABY*Beans in our bellies by the end of 2012 ! **88 BFP's**

[bubumaci]

not butting in at all ... what a lot of nice April b-days My DH is on Monday (Easter Bunny )
... and I am starting to feel old ... (going to be 37 in August)

About quitting smoking:
It really is a mind thing. Once you have decided that you are not smoking, it is almost easy
I had stopped several times (had started when I was 15, having the occasional ciggy ... then from 19 was smoking regularly - ranging from 10-20 per day, going out and partying was more, of course)... then smoked irregularly from 20-21, stopped at 21, ooh, 'till about 23,5 (where I was in Australia, and just taking a drag, then a ciggie... then buying ) but stopped again in the summer. Didn't touch a ciggie again, 'till about 26 (again, a drag here and there, ... so the old spiel)... and smoked regularly until 28. At that time, I stopped and started, stopped and started (with several months in between)...

My main motivation had always been my non-smoker boyfriend/s - the last one, who would come and go (ergo my stopping and starting ).

Finally, in 2006 (after enjoying and wanting to smoke), I decided the time had come. On my trip to Australia, I had a landing in Dubai (for which I had saved two cigarettes) - smoked the two and haven't looked back since. I don't miss it, don't yearn for it (even as a smoker, hated the smell and would crazily wash my hands after each cigarette and would always go outside - at least in the last years) and am even seriously repulsed by it now.

My analysis of the many many years of smoking, stopping and starting again : you have to want to do it for you. My Dad tried bribing me, to stop - but at the time, I wasn't ready to and it wouldn't have worked (as history showed). Any other motivator probably won't be enough to help you keep your resolve - it is far too easy to start again.

So, with all fingers and toes crossed, I hope that you do succeed! And as Skeet said - don't even be tempted by that one : it will put you back on the road to smoking.

So : here to the non-smoking projects (and putting babies in our bellies) in 2012 May you contribute to putting the cigarette companies out of business

 

[Excalibur]

bubumaci - There are a lot of nice April Birthday's out there

Aww yay for your OH being an Easter Bunny

I used to smoke the odd 1 or 2 in school but then I managed to quit (as I wasn't totally addicted) Then when I left home, it started off by having a couple of drags which turned into me smoking full time again Since we have been TTC, I decided to quit altogether as it's not healthy for me, baby or anyone around me!

 

[bubumaci]

@ Excalibur (btw I love your name ... half expect to see King Arthur come charging, wielding the sword *lol*) - that kind of motivation is pretty strong, isn't it!
And although one doesn't notice it while smoking, you feel much healthier, once you've stopped Things taste better, lungs don't feel heavy after a night out... clothes, hair etc. don't stink ... ahhhh - the joys

 

[Excalibur]

@ Excalibur (btw I love your name ... half expect to see King Arthur come charging, wielding the sword *lol*) - that kind of motivation is pretty strong, isn't it!
And although one doesn't notice it while smoking, you feel much healthier, once you've stopped Things taste better, lungs don't feel heavy after a night out... clothes, hair etc. don't stink ... ahhhh - the joys

Hehe thank you hun, Excalibur was the name of my horse, I don't have him anymore though

Yeah that is very true, I enjoy my food more as it tastes better as you said, and my clothes don't smell and when I see people in town smoking, it stinks and I always end up coughing when I get a mouthful

 

[kitcatbaby]

Very true! the first thing I have noticed is that everything stinks! my clothes, my car, my curtains etc... they all stink of smoke! So my plan for my next day off work is to scrub my house from top to bottom and air out all my clothes (if the snow goes away by then!)
Im feeling confident about not starting again as I am very headstrong and once I decide I am going to do something I almost always follow it through. The only worry I have is that I will find it difficult on nights out (drinking) to not smoke. Whilst Im not preggo I'm going out quite regularly making the most of it before I have to stop
How is everybody doing anyway? Any fellow 2wwers with me and Skeet?

 

[bubumaci]

@ Excalibur (btw I love your name ... half expect to see King Arthur come charging, wielding the sword *lol*) - that kind of motivation is pretty strong, isn't it!
And although one doesn't notice it while smoking, you feel much healthier, once you've stopped Things taste better, lungs don't feel heavy after a night out... clothes, hair etc. don't stink ... ahhhh - the joys

Hehe thank you hun, Excalibur was the name of my horse, I don't have him anymore though

Yeah that is very true, I enjoy my food more as it tastes better as you said, and my clothes don't smell and when I see people in town smoking, it stinks and I always end up coughing when I get a mouthful

What a wonderful name for a horse! I can just imagine him standing proud and beautiful, strong, regal ... I like that! Sorry, that you don't have him anymore

Do you notice how the majority of smokers aren't very considerate of others around them? Where their smoke blows etc.? I have been very tempted on a couple of occasions to do what a friend of mine did - when someone doesn't care that you are getting the full brunt of their smoke : she got out her perfume and started spraying herself and all around herself, so that it went all over the smoker I think that is so funny - but actually so ... well ... fair. The smoker didn't want to smell of her perfume and, well, she didn't want to smell of his smoke, and made her point
But I still think it's funny. I think, when you're a smoker, you don't realise quite how unpleasant it is for non-smokers to be exposed to the smoke (irregardless of the health impacts, passive smoking just comes on top)...

 

[kitcatbaby]

bubumaci... YES!! I have definately noticed this one. Most of my friends are non smokers and I can think of a few occassions where I have dragged them in to smoking areas on nights out without even stopping to consider that they might not want to be stinking of and inhaling somebody else's smoke. I think as a smoker I was very selfish actually and I'm glad that part of me is gone now!

 

[Excalibur]

Kitcat - I'm sure you will do well hun. I found smoking worse when I was out drinking, I used to smoke twice as much! Not good lol.

Bubumaci - Thank you. He used to do me really proud! That's ok, I still have pictures of him and even though he went to a new home, he will always be in my heart.

Yeah I have noticed that, I cough everytime they blow smoke in my face! I was always considerate when I smoked, always blew my smoke the other way or if non-smokers were stood by, I always moved away a little!

I think that's a great idea about the perfume, it would serve them right!

 

[bubumaci]

Very true! the first thing I have noticed is that everything stinks! my clothes, my car, my curtains etc... they all stink of smoke! So my plan for my next day off work is to scrub my house from top to bottom and air out all my clothes (if the snow goes away by then!)
Im feeling confident about not starting again as I am very headstrong and once I decide I am going to do something I almost always follow it through. The only worry I have is that I will find it difficult on nights out (drinking) to not smoke. Whilst Im not preggo I'm going out quite regularly making the most of it before I have to stop
How is everybody doing anyway? Any fellow 2wwers with me and Skeet?

Yep... on 7 DPO ... although (due to our circumstances), I don't really believe anything will happen - even though I do get hopeful.

My DH was so sweet the other day. We are in the process of renovating / building a house on another property and a lot is getting torn down. Well FIL asked whether we wanted to keep the swing (knows the situation with the fertility issues) and then said, oh well ... Opa (Granddad) will just have to fork out when you need a new one. My DH then said on the phone - it would be so nice if my parents could be Grandparents Isn't that sweet? And he has said, that he will keep taking the tablets and will go for the spermiogramm on a weekly basis until they get enough s to freeze so we can do ICSI. My DH is the sweetest

 

[Excalibur]

bubumaci - Aww that was really sweet of your DH. I got goosebumbs whilst reading that. I have been keeping you in my thoughts and prayers and hoping that everything works out for you and you will get your nice BFP

 

[kitcatbaby]

Wow your DH sounds amazing! I love my OH with all my heart but he is kind of a nighmare with the whole ttc affair!! It took me ages to convince him to go for SA and he was very reluctant I thik he was afraid of his pride being damaged IFKWIM? It turned out his results are ok... not great but will do the job. Your husband sounds so supportive and willing to do whatever it takes; I really admire that!

 

[bubumaci]

Thank you

 

[bubumaci]

Wow your DH sounds amazing! I love my OH with all my heart but he is kind of a nighmare with the whole ttc affair!! It took me ages to convince him to go for SA and he was very reluctant I thik he was afraid of his pride being damaged IFKWIM? It turned out his results are ok... not great but will do the job. Your husband sounds so supportive and willing to do whatever it takes; I really admire that!

He is an absolute sweetheart! Every day when I wake up and look at him, my day begins with a smile
But I must admit ... it took us a while to get there. He is very very sweet natured, but did need a good kick up the backside to get moving - so, I definitely KWYM
We started actively trying in October 2010 and I knew we were DTD at the right times - after a few months I had started getting "help" determining the fertile periods. In May 2011 (turning 36 in August), I got myself checked-out, as I wanted to make sure that - if we needed help - we could start getting it ASAP. Well, everything was OK and I begged DH to get checked-out. He didn't see the urgency that I felt (and TBH every single month when showed up, I would get upset). Took until the end of August, before he finally went ... to get the diagnosis we (I especially) had dreaded. My poor angel! Rang me and said "it's my fault" He felt sooo bad (especially knowing how I had wanted children all my life ... am a child of divorced parents and, well, have basically had the candle of hope in my window for forever that someday, I will have my own family and children and can make it all right again, by making them happy)...

So I promptly called the clinic my friend had recommended and ... the first appointment I could get was October 17th So I was kind of pxxxxd, that by wasting 3 months, we lost another two, just by not getting the results earlier. In September, he had another check, where they found even less than the first time around. Our clinic visit had me hopeful - but again, they wanted to do all sorts of blood tests, hormone, etc. etc. and get another SA from him ... followed by yet another after taking some drops to widen the "tubes" to see if they were just not getting out ... so - four SAs and nothing. And each time, he wasn't taking the first possible appointment for the SAs (and so of course each time I get sad inside, because I know that means yet another cycle...). Then he was sent to the place to discuss the testicular biopsy - but he just wanted to do more blood tests and another SA. They found a tiny bit and suggested another SA at the clinic and freezing if they find anything ... so ... SA # 6 (with nothing).
I finally told the doctor that this constant not-knowing and taking so long was really really getting to me - that I just want to know where it is going, what are the chances etc. etc. I feel for the doctors, it is so easy to just be clinical - whereas it is my / our sanity, our family, our time, our lives that ...

Anyway the clinic doctor sent him to the biopsy guy again - and that is where we are now : taking the medication.

I ask him every so often, whether he also so desperately wants an LO, or if he is just going through this all just for me ... but he says he wants one too. The clinic doctor has already suggested that we start thinking about donor sperm - but DH doesn't want to consider it and I have agreed to "cross that bridge if and when we should come to it". I must admit - I really want to be able to melt when I look into his eyes in our LO.

I think it took a while for it to sink in for him, that it won't be that easy ... and I think the harder it gets for us, the more he realises that he does really want to be a Daddy... and ... he has seen what it does to me and ... it is so clear, how very much he loves me

I think, that in a way, it is harder for men to deal with, if the fertility difficulties come from their end. Like a pride thing / not something they ever consider. Even me : my one main horror thought all my life was, what if I can't have children? It never even occurred to me, that it might be my partner who can't! And for a man - you know, masculinity is such a big thing (like you say - afraid of his pride being damaged) - it is just not manly not to be able to reproduce... so I think it is something a woman (even though terribly distressing) can take in her stride more easily, than a man.

I am feeling really emotional right now and just want to hug everyone ... so ... all around and extra sprinkling of

 

[kitcatbaby]

I feel sad reading your story and can only imagine how difficult it must be for you both but it really sounds like you are in this together no matter what the outcome may be! I really wish you both the best of luck x

 

[raventtc]

:wave: hi everyone -- i gotta go and read the posts i have missed (which seems like a lot) you ladies have been chatty

afm-- i lost crosshairs and now this am i got them back but from cd14 i don't know what is going on right now. i haven't tested cause i didn't think i ov'd since my temps were so strange...we have been keeping up bd everyother day and i haven't been doing opk's for a bit too, just temp'ing........my chart is frustrating me!

 

[haj624]

Omg haj..I just read your whole blog!! i cant believe everything you have been through with ttc...I cant imagine the stress. I really pray that you get that sticky bfp on the first try!!

Things are going ok with... I was surprised that I actually ov'd on the weekend!!! Oh and I dtd once this weekend as that is all we managed to fit in in our short time together so we will see...not overly hopeful.. I'm supposed to be relaxing and not ttcing but its so hard!!!! Ateast with temping I knows some what of what is going on with my body

well as of yesterday my road just got a little bumpier..ill be posting in my blog today...but the RE's office called me back and told me the insurance company is giving them a hard time about the approval of our IVF. Since my husband has a variocele they said they might want him to try to get surgery before they can approve it. Even though my doctor told me they are so small it wont do anything. so of course i completely lost it and had to go outside while at work and i just sobbed. i was on cloud 9 last week getting ready to start this all and it can all come crashing down now. my mom said to be they havent even denied you yet and if they do you cant change that...and trust me i know that is completely logically but as you ladies know, its hard to see logic when you're going through all this. So by the beginning of next week we should have our verdict. they said the doctor can appeal but that will take a few months and if they still deny it we have to wait for a year after the surgery to see if his numbers improve before we can do ivf again...this is a complete nightmare right now. i honestly feel like im going to go off the deep end

 

[kitcatbaby]

Omg haj..I just read your whole blog!! i cant believe everything you have been through with ttc...I cant imagine the stress. I really pray that you get that sticky bfp on the first try!!

Things are going ok with... I was surprised that I actually ov'd on the weekend!!! Oh and I dtd once this weekend as that is all we managed to fit in in our short time together so we will see...not overly hopeful.. I'm supposed to be relaxing and not ttcing but its so hard!!!! Ateast with temping I knows some what of what is going on with my body

well as of yesterday my road just got a little bumpier..ill be posting in my blog today...but the RE's office called me back and told me the insurance company is giving them a hard time about the approval of our IVF. Since my husband has a variocele they said they might want him to try to get surgery before they can approve it. Even though my doctor told me they are so small it wont do anything. so of course i completely lost it and had to go outside while at work and i just sobbed. i was on cloud 9 last week getting ready to start this all and it can all come crashing down now. my mom said to be they havent even denied you yet and if they do you cant change that...and trust me i know that is completely logically but as you ladies know, its hard to see logic when you're going through all this. So by the beginning of next week we should have our verdict. they said the doctor can appeal but that will take a few months and if they still deny it we have to wait for a year after the surgery to see if his numbers improve before we can do ivf again...this is a complete nightmare right now. i honestly feel like im going to go off the deep end

haj I don't know what to say except for sorry and don't give up hope! always here if you need to vent. keep your chin up darling!!

 

[haj624]

Omg haj..I just read your whole blog!! i cant believe everything you have been through with ttc...I cant imagine the stress. I really pray that you get that sticky bfp on the first try!!

Things are going ok with... I was surprised that I actually ov'd on the weekend!!! Oh and I dtd once this weekend as that is all we managed to fit in in our short time together so we will see...not overly hopeful.. I'm supposed to be relaxing and not ttcing but its so hard!!!! Ateast with temping I knows some what of what is going on with my body

well as of yesterday my road just got a little bumpier..ill be posting in my blog today...but the RE's office called me back and told me the insurance company is giving them a hard time about the approval of our IVF. Since my husband has a variocele they said they might want him to try to get surgery before they can approve it. Even though my doctor told me they are so small it wont do anything. so of course i completely lost it and had to go outside while at work and i just sobbed. i was on cloud 9 last week getting ready to start this all and it can all come crashing down now. my mom said to be they havent even denied you yet and if they do you cant change that...and trust me i know that is completely logically but as you ladies know, its hard to see logic when you're going through all this. So by the beginning of next week we should have our verdict. they said the doctor can appeal but that will take a few months and if they still deny it we have to wait for a year after the surgery to see if his numbers improve before we can do ivf again...this is a complete nightmare right now. i honestly feel like im going to go off the deep end

haj I don't know what to say except for sorry and don't give up hope! always here if you need to vent. keep your chin up darling!!

Thanks love!!!

 

[Excalibur]

Haj - Really sorry to hear you are going through a hard time hun, as Kitcat said, don't give up hope chick xxx

 

[mommy247]

Omg guys I know its not even my tww yet and I have the urge to poas lol I think I'm addicted...its been a week... I cant help it.