~*~ Teen Mummys Natural Parenting Thread ~*~

[emyandpotato]

Is it wrong to say put a baby in a moses basket next to your bed if they sleep soundly there and you are there when they wake?


Just bought myself a Boba with pretty Soho print OH is gonna go mental at the cost

 

[lauram_92]

I only did it for a month. I did it because there was so much pressure - and selfishly I wanted to sleep alone. It was absolutely wrong. Ramsay still cosleeps in the mornings.

Oliver loves the cot, he sleeps so much better in it. He likes having his own space and being able to stretch out - which in a single bed with me he can't do. I also struggle to sleep with him in my bed, I get so paranoid I am on top of him and wake up constantly in the night, waking him up too!

 

[hot tea]

I don't think it is wrong if they are content. But by nature majority of babies want to be close to their mothers physically and babies will learn to accept the situation of being put aside instead of physIcally close. I don't think by nature many babies would want to sleep in a cot alone. It is just something we enforce for our own reasons.

I planned to use a bassinet with Falko, that shows how much has changed and how quickly. He has never used it.

Woo him Boba!!!!!!! 3G version?

 

[lalacrl]

I cosleep, breastfeed, and babywear

 

[AirForceWife7]

I only did it for a month. I did it because there was so much pressure - and selfishly I wanted to sleep alone. It was absolutely wrong. Ramsay still cosleeps in the mornings.

Oliver loves the cot, he sleeps so much better in it. He likes having his own space and being able to stretch out - which in a single bed with me he can't do. I also struggle to sleep with him in my bed, I get so paranoid I am on top of him and wake up constantly in the night, waking him up too!

Brenna is the same way! If she wakes up at night, I'll go in and get her and bring her back to bed with me to cuddle/console her. She'll cuddle for a bit, but she will not go to sleep. She dislikes co-sleeping a lot, and I think she is just naturally independent

 

[emyandpotato]

Yess the 3G one. No point getting the 2G cos it's from 9 months up. I'm excited Looked for a cheap one but no luck so just went ahead and bought one. Hoping he doesn't hate it. How long til he gets used to it do you think?

 

[vinteenage]

.

 

[hot tea]

I don't think it will take long. Most babies wiggle when they are being put in, after a few minutes they are calm. Bobas are very comfy.

 

[lauram_92]

I don't think it is wrong if they are content. But by nature majority of babies want to be close to their mothers physically and babies will learn to accept the situation of being put aside instead of physIcally close. I don't think by nature many babies would want to sleep in a cot alone. It is just something we enforce for our own reasons.

Oliver has never liked co-sleeping. I used to do it when he was newborn but he wouldn't settle unless he was in the moses basket.

 

[hot tea]

Please note how I said majority, not all. I think it can also be influenced by the birth experience as well. That's just a theory though.

 

[lauram_92]

Please note how I said majority, not all. I think it can also be influenced by the birth experience as well. That's just a theory though.

Yep, noticed you referred to the majority. I was just explaining my situation Curious, how do you think the birth experience would influence it? I had a pretty easy birth, although it lasted a while and got skin to skin straight after. Also co-slept the first night (by advice of the midwife).

 

[hot tea]

I believe drugs effect the bonding from mother to infant. Actually, it has been proven to be true. Not sure whether that would make the baby less likely to be as naturally dependent as intended to be, but it makes sense.

By nature we are meant to be close to our mothers from birth. That urge helps us survive.

 

[AirForceWife7]

Please note how I said majority, not all. I think it can also be influenced by the birth experience as well. That's just a theory though.

Yep, noticed you referred to the majority. I was just explaining my situation Curious, how do you think the birth experience would influence it? I had a pretty easy birth, although it lasted a while and got skin to skin straight after. Also co-slept the first night (by advice of the midwife).

This interests me too, because I had a very different experience! 4th degree tear, 45 minutes of stitching, nerve damage ... (baby was perfectly healthy though) So I'm genuinely interested to hear!

ETA: Also wanted to add that I had an epi during labor

 

[hot tea]

Birth is a huge experience for the baby as well as the mother. With having drugs, you disconnect from your infant. With stress, your baby is stressed. How you are brought into the world does, indeed, shape you I think.

 

[emyandpotato]

I believe drugs effect the bonding from mother to infant. Actually, it has been proven to be true. Not sure whether that would make the baby less likely to be as naturally dependent as intended to be, but it makes sense.

By nature we are meant to be close to our mothers from birth. That urge helps us survive.

I read a book on exactly this when I was pregnant. It was actually pretty worrying as it said C-section babies are, not damaged, but like slightly different in their personalities and crave the 'real' birth experience subconsciously. I spent months worrying I'd need drugs or intervention because of it, but I think there's a lot of truth in it.

It also said that from conception babies sense whether they are wanted or not and can become very unhappy adults if they are rejected as foetuses. It adds a whole new angle to the idea of adoption.

Sorry, bit OT...

 

[hot tea]

I absolutely believe it. I was brought into the world very, very violently. Actually, Iwas born dead. My mother's entire pregnancy she hemmoraged. My mother was in a very sick place mentally, no doubt that is why.

Then when I was pregnant with Ramsay for months and months on end, on the 25th of every month, I would be in hospital freaking out with pains. Just random. And every single time things were fine, I was just getting anxiety. My midwife noticed the pattern an asked me if anything traumatic happened to me on the 25th. I didn't know, so I asked my mother. She told me that was the day she went into labour and my father nearly died of a car crash that night as well. If my father had died, I would never have been sexually abused. If my father hadn't been in the car accident, my mother would never have gotten back together with him (they were broken up until the accident, my mother is a christian and felt it was a sign of god that he lived and the accident happened the moment her water broke, basically). I was born on the 26th.

I do NOT believe this is coincidence. I am a pretty skeptical person. But this, I cannot ignore.

I believe in good and bad energies. What you put into a child, you will recieve back. If you do not live mindfully, if you do not care for your child mindfully, they will not be mindful. If you do not connect with your infant, they will not connect to you. If you are violent, so will be your child. I do not believe in chaos.

 

[Desi's_lost]

What about children that have traumatic births by no fault of anyone but chance? my sister was born drug free yet she ended up with the cord wrapped round her neck and smashed her face into my moms pelvis.

But i dunno how a child could long for something they didnt know they were suppose to have. meaning a natural birth when they were born by section.

 

[emyandpotato]

I wasn't criticising the parents at all, it's just a theory that I read and find interesting and think there is truth to. Lots of people experience trauma through no fault of their families. Say a baby is born through C-section, it goes against their instinct and they somehow know that it is not right and feel a little uneasy about it consciously or subconsciously. Not every child of course, and I'm not saying it ruins their lives. As with anything I think experiences for some people become incredibly important and for others completely insignificant.

 

[Desi's_lost]

I know you werent. I just think it sounds a bit...illogical. How can anyone be bothered by something they dont know they were entitled to in the first place?

But then again, i'm not super into the intricacies of this Natural Parenting thing. I like BFing and im a fan of natural foods and everything but I also quite like modern medicine and hard scientific fact.

 

[emyandpotato]

I don't actually remember, I'd have to read it again or I'd be arguing something blindly. It did make sense though. The psychologists looked at people with certain personal issues and put them in to a state of mind, kind of like hypnosis, where they could actually recall their birth experience. Some were really quite distressed by it in retrospect. It sounds really dubious the way I'm describing it but it wasn't in the study IMO. They recreate the pre-birth experience for troubled children a lot in the UK, it's quite common yet specialist practise.