Teen pregnancy advice and support please

[blueberryx]

Thanks to everyone who had checked in and who offered advice and support throughout this whole experience for me.

I’m still here and still very pregnant. I’m due in about a week and a half. At my last appointment on Friday the doctor said baby makes no sign of coming any time soon, but it can all change very quickly. I’ve had some more intense pressure and cramping today so I really think it’s gonna happen soon. I’m so scared and anxious about the moment it happens since I have no idea when it’ll be. I try not to think of the actual birth because it terrifies me. I have a plan in place, have toured the hospital, know who is going to be there with me, and pretty much prepared in every way that I can and now the rest is just out of my control and I don’t like it.

I am still placing the baby for adoption. I’ve gotten to know the adoptive family over the summer and I really feel that this is the family he belongs with and that these people are his parents. It’s still not easy and I get a knot in my stomach just thinking about how hard it will be to actually officially give him to them, but I know that I’m not ready to be a parent and that this is the best thing for all of us. They will not be there during he birth but will be coming to the hospital afterward (my request) and then he’ll go home with them.

 

[Scout]

I wish you all the best. I had a cousin place her daughter for adoption 14 years ago. She still says it was the best decision she could have made for that baby, and it was. I can't think of anything more loving and selfless when you know you aren't ready to be a mom.

 

[brittany12]

Agree! You’re doing an amazing thing and I’m not sure if the adoption is open or not but writing down your feelings Incase he ever has questions one day could be something super wonderful for you both!

 

[blueberryx]

Thank you! It’s going to be an open adoption. I’m not sure how much contact I want to have, but I guess we’ll figure that out as we go. The adoptive family just sent me pictures of the finished nursery last night. We communicate regularly, but it’s still just sort of awkward because it’s just not a situation that you really know how to handle completely. As the baby grow up I want to let him sort of decide how much contact he has with me and I’m going to accept whatever that might be.

 

[ClairAye]

Wishing you all the best especially for over the next few weeks.

 

[Bevziibubble]

You're doing a wonderful thing You're so strong, especially for your young age. Wishing you all the best

 

[MissMarpleFan]

You are giving your baby and this childless couple the most generous gift possible. I hope they will be as strong and unselfish as you and be generous back in sharing your son with you in the future. Bless you. You sound like a great person.

 

[Beccaboo828]

You are an amazing young lady

 

[HLx]

Wishing you all the best, you are so wise beyond your years hun, and any future children you decide to have will be amazingly lucky to have you as their mum x

 

[beckyv123]

Wow what an amazing thing you’ve done, you sound so mature. Best of luck with the labour and delivery x

 

[blueberryx]

I gave birth to my son on August 15 at 3:03 am. He was 7 lbs, 11 oz and 20 inches long. At what was almost literally the last moment before the adoptive family took him home, I changed my mind and decided I couldn’t go through with the adoption. I still support adoption 100% and love the family that I had chosen. I had absolutely no plans to keep my baby, but I feel like I bonded with him the moment he came out and I just felt this feeling that he was mine and needed to stay with me. I didn’t tell anyone for about a full day after he was born since I was going to try to go through with the adoption and deal with my feelings. I had already expected that it wouldn’t be easy to give him to another family, but I’d spent months preparing for it and thought I could do it.

So we’ve been home a week now and I am still figuring everything out. I had no backup plan that involved me keeping him. I didn’t have any baby items, no diapers, absolutely nothing. We were discharged from the hospital and had to wait in the lobby for my mom to get back from the store with a car seat that she flew out to buy so I could bring him home. Thankfully some extended family brought back over some hand me down basic things like onesies just to get us through until we can get everything.

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

Oh thank goodness! One im glad he came healthy and two that you made a decision that made YOU happy. Im sure the family understands.

 

[blueberryx]

Oh thank goodness! One im glad he came healthy and two that you made a decision that made YOU happy. Im sure the family understands.

Thank you!! I am still dealing with the guilt I feel over changing my mind at the last minute. I feel horrible for what I’ve done to the adoptive family. I never intended to hurt them like this. I can’t imagine what they must be feeling toward me.

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

Thank you!! I am still dealing with the guilt I feel over changing my mind at the last minute. I feel horrible for what I’ve done to the adoptive family. I never intended to hurt them like this. I can’t imagine what they must be feeling toward me.

They might be upset or happy or any number of things but im sure they knew going into this, that changing your mind was an option.

Enjoy your son and you can still do this! Look how mature you are and all you were doing for him. Continue that and you'll be just fine. I bet hes cute as a button.

 

[erher]

I gave birth to my son on August 15 at 3:03 am. He was 7 lbs, 11 oz and 20 inches long. At what was almost literally the last moment before the adoptive family took him home, I changed my mind and decided I couldn’t go through with the adoption. I still support adoption 100% and love the family that I had chosen. I had absolutely no plans to keep my baby, but I feel like I bonded with him the moment he came out and I just felt this feeling that he was mine and needed to stay with me. I didn’t tell anyone for about a full day after he was born since I was going to try to go through with the adoption and deal with my feelings. I had already expected that it wouldn’t be easy to give him to another family, but I’d spent months preparing for it and thought I could do it.

So we’ve been home a week now and I am still figuring everything out. I had no backup plan that involved me keeping him. I didn’t have any baby items, no diapers, absolutely nothing. We were discharged from the hospital and had to wait in the lobby for my mom to get back from the store with a car seat that she flew out to buy so I could bring him home. Thankfully some extended family brought back over some hand me down basic things like onesies just to get us through until we can get everything.

oh Blueberry,
I'm so fuckin happy for you. You can't imagine the joy i felt reading this. You called him your son!!! At that moment, i knew something had changed. Motherhood is wild to say the least, but nothing in this universe compares to the love you feel when holding your child.
I know you feel guilty, but better that than regretful. Enjoy your baby boy. We're all rooting for you!!!

 

[HLx]

I believe in you one million percent, you've gone through more than most of us at such a young age! And dont worry about items for your son, as long as he has the basics, and you in his life that all he will ever need. Congratulations on the birth and good luck for your future together, you wont regret your decision to keep your baby

 

[3boys]

I'm so happy for you. I believe in adoption 100% but i also believe that if its possible the best place for baby is with its mom. I'm sure the adoptive parents you chose are hurting but also knew that these was a very real possibility. I dont believe you will regret it for one second!!! enjoy every minute! x x

 

[Bevziibubble]

So happy for you

 

[ClairAye]

Of course you will feel guilty but at the end of the day you need to put yourself first in your life and do what you need to do to make yourself happy. Congratulations on the birth of your baby boy and bringing him home! ♡

 

[blueberryx]

Thanks everyone! Between my family and the baby’s father’s family, we are getting most of what we need. I didn’t want to have to depend on our parents to have to buy everything, but with changing my mind last minute like this I didn’t have much of an option. I just want to be responsible for my son as much as I can. Unfortunately the baby’s father doesn’t really know what he should do and I think he’s still a little upset with me for changing my mind last minute and not even caring what he felt about it. So he ended up leaving for college yesterday. He is now states away from us. I know he felt unsure of what to do, but he already made plans based on us placing our baby for adoption. Honestly I haven’t had much time to feel upset about it since I’ve been so busy caring for the baby and figuring out what I’m doing, not sleeping, dealing with all the gross things going on with my body right now, and figuring out my own life and what I’ll do about school, etc. But I had a little breakdown about it today.