Teen pregnancy advice and support please

[Beccaboo828]

Congratulations!! You will be an amazing mama for him xx

 

[HLx]

Not to worry about the baby's father, he has a choice to be apart of his son's life, I think you'll do an amazing job x

 

[3boys]

You will do fine! You are so young you have plenty of time to figure it out. I went back to college 3 years ago aged 31 and now have just this year and next before I qualify as a chartered accountant so it’s never too late! Your boyfriend should of thought of all these things before having sex. It’s unfair to blame anything on you or be negative in any way. Your baby boy is blessed to have you!

 

[Rachael1981]

Congratulations on your baby boy. I've just read your thread and it seems you have been on quite the rollercoaster.

The adoptive family will be upset, yes, but I imagine they also knew that it wasn't 100% and you could change your mind at any time.

You will be am amazing Mum. It sounds like you have a supportive family and that everyone has rallied round to get the things you need.

Don't worry about baby's Dad for now. He had made plans to go off to college based on the baby going up for adoption. I would leave the door open so that if he wants to be part of son's life when the dust settles he can be. Until then you will do your little boy proud.

Everything has a way of working out, no matter what. You're young. You can enjoy your boy now whilst he's tiny and then think about your education at a later time. They are tiny for such a short time. Enjoy every second whilst you can

 

[brittany12]

You will go through tons of emotions over the next several weeks! From excitement, abundance of love, happiness, questioning what you’re doing as a first time mom, if you can do this, did you make the right decision, a love so deep it hurts.. literally all the feelings! A lot of it is hormonal changes in your body right now and a lack of sleep! But you’ll get through it! You’ll see in the end the decision was the right one! I’m sure the family was heart broken as they prepared to love the baby but I’m also sure they completely understand the change of mind as they go into this knowing that’s a possibility!

Also having someone to talk to whether your parents or a therapist would probably be a great idea for you if it starts to feel too crazy!

You’re going to be an amazing mother! Dads family sounds supportive too even with him gone off to college! The baby needs a car seat, food, diapers, a few outfits and tons of love! You’re doing great momma!

Congratulations!

 

[Koifish]

Congratulations!! I am happy to hear baby is here and healthy!! I really didn’t expect to see that post but good for you for knowing that he was meant to be yours and keeping him! I think adoption is great but I think it’s fantastic that you chose to keep him! I am sure the family is heart broken but at the same time when you go into adoption you know that this outcome is always possible, especially if the baby hasn’t arrived yet. A lot of people don’t really make a connection until the baby is born! Don’t feel guilty as you did what was best for you and your baby. I am really happy for you!

As for everything else it sounds like both families are very supportive and helping out which is great! A few clothes, diapers, food and love is all your little man needs! You’ll do great, lots of emotions and things to get through the first few months but once it settles you can figure the rest out. Just focus on baby and take some time off. You can always start back school with an online program or partial online and go from there!

I wish you the best of luck, you’ve got this mama!

 

[blueberryx]

My baby boy is 6 weeks old today, omg! I have been at home taking care of him the whole time. My parents and I met with my school several weeks ago to come up with a plan or arrangement to allow me to make up my work and return to school full time like normal. The school policy will only allow me to be out for as long as medically necessary for recovery, meaning now that I’m at the 6 week mark I have to go back. I start school back up again on Monday. I’ve had access to a lot of my class pages online and we all have iPads with most of our assignments being submitted electronically anyway, so I’ve been able to work in some stuff on my own. My school is providing a tutor to help me catch up when I return, but I have to stay after school a few hours each day for several weeks. I want to go back and be with my friends and finish my last year there, but I’m just dreading going back at the same time. Any mommas out there that had a baby while also in school full time? Any tips or tricks on how to survive? I figure I won’t get home until after 5 and will still have homework to do in that window before bed but baby will need me too. I’m starting to feel overwhelmed and it’s not even started yet.

Baby’s dad went away to college like I previously mentioned. After 2 weeks he withdrew and came back home because he felt guilty. So he has applied to a college close to home so he can live at home still, but that won’t start next year. So he’s going to be watching the baby while I’m at school from now through Christmas. I’ve spent the last week and a half catching him up in everything and showing him what to do. I’m glad he will be here to help but I’m feeling jealous that once I go back to school I won’t really be the main one caring for our son anymore.

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

I think reminding your friends that you have a baby. You cant just drop everything anymore and go out with them. Some stuff baby can come too though. Going to prom? Maybe baby stays home. Going to dinner? Bring baby.

You are still caring for him and he will be ok. Can your tutor meet you somewhere so you can care for the baby? Library? Home? Park? Can dad bring the baby to you?

 

[Bevziibubble]

^Great ideas

 

[blueberryx]

I think reminding your friends that you have a baby. You cant just drop everything anymore and go out with them. Some stuff baby can come too though. Going to prom? Maybe baby stays home. Going to dinner? Bring baby.

You are still caring for him and he will be ok. Can your tutor meet you somewhere so you can care for the baby? Library? Home? Park? Can dad bring the baby to you?

My friends have been pretty good. They know I have a baby and can’t really do stuff with them like I used to. They’ve come over and visited, but their busy with their own normal, non-parent lives.

I’m using one of the school tutors and it’s not really something that I can arrange to do elsewhere. Plus, I don’t think I’d be able to focus if baby was there...I already found it hard enough to do schoolwork when he’s awake so I mainly have to wait til he’s sleeping to start on anything.

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

That's good your friends are understanding overall. Do you have a MOPS group around you? It's a moms group with free childcare. They have daytime and evening meetings once a month. I know they have a teen version and 18+ version. That might be a way to connect with other young moms who understand you best. MOPS.org and then search for a group.

What time is his bedtime? Can you tweak that to allow more time or do it while someone else is feeding? Bathing? Even those extra minutes could help. Maybe you sit in the bathroom and grandma bathes him but you can be there and get school done or dad feeds him his last bottle and you get started a few minutes earlier?

Hm, I dont know if im being helpful or grasping at straws. I do know other moms have done it before you so I know theres a solution, it's just finding the right one for you.
You've got this and you'll look back thinking " I thought that?!".

 

[brittany12]

I just want to say it’s going to be an adjustment like everything has been and you’re doing great! You will do great! It’s amazing the baby’s father will be able to keep the baby and how special it’ll be for them! You’ll still be there to care for baby and unless y’all get back together it’ll always be this way for coparenting! So think of it that way. I don’t have much advice for the other stuff just wanted to let you know you’re doing awesome!

 

[blueberryx]

That's good your friends are understanding overall. Do you have a MOPS group around you? It's a moms group with free childcare. They have daytime and evening meetings once a month. I know they have a teen version and 18+ version. That might be a way to connect with other young moms who understand you best. MOPS.org and then search for a group.

What time is his bedtime? Can you tweak that to allow more time or do it while someone else is feeding? Bathing? Even those extra minutes could help. Maybe you sit in the bathroom and grandma bathes him but you can be there and get school done or dad feeds him his last bottle and you get started a few minutes earlier?

Hm, I dont know if im being helpful or grasping at straws. I do know other moms have done it before you so I know theres a solution, it's just finding the right one for you.
You've got this and you'll look back thinking " I thought that?!".

Oh no it’s totally helpful. I just appreciate anyone taking time to give me advice or some thoughts. I’ve never heard of MOPS so I’ll check it out.

Right now I’m still working to get him on more of a set schedule. He doesn’t have a set bedtime but I mean I do try to put him down within a general time frame. Honestly he had been dictating the schedule basically, depending on how often he was eating. I’m also breastfeeding right now but considering switching to formula or at least supplementing to make it easier on me and to give me flexibility for others to help out. I have a breast pump that I just got and that’s not going so well right now. Maybe I can try pushing back the bedtime routine because it really won’t affect him as far as the morning goes since his dad is coming to my house in the mornings to take care of him, at least for now.

 

[blueberryx]

I just want to say it’s going to be an adjustment like everything has been and you’re doing great! You will do great! It’s amazing the baby’s father will be able to keep the baby and how special it’ll be for them! You’ll still be there to care for baby and unless y’all get back together it’ll always be this way for coparenting! So think of it that way. I don’t have much advice for the other stuff just wanted to let you know you’re doing awesome!

Thanks! I should focus more on the positives and be thankful that he’ll get to spend time with his dad since he’s spent most of his first weeks with me and my family. I know I have to get used to coparenting now and I’m really thankful that his dad has decided to be involved, but after several weeks of me being the only parent and trying to do absolutely everything for my son it’s sort of weird to have another person there to help out. My parents were helping of course, but as far as day to day care I tried not to let them do anything more than any regular grandparents would do.

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

Have you contacted la leche league (also free moms group with daytime and evening meetings, free childcare) to ask about pumping or supplementing? LLLI.ORG and search for a group.