Teen pregnancy advice and support please

[blueberryx]

Don’t worry, nobody is pressuring me in any direction with this decision. But I still just feel pressure from myself to make the right decision. Since I’ve obviously never had a baby or been a parent before I have no way to really know how I’ll feel once he’s born. Technically I can wait that long or even later to make the decision, but I would prefer to have a fairly certain decision made before he’s here. I’d like time to get to know the adoptive family so that I can feel they are the best choice.

I found 2 families that I really like. I didn’t expect to find them so quickly. Last time I looked at families a while ago I didn’t find any that were a good fit to me. So I got discouraged and stopped looking. Then when I decided to take a look again, I didn’t really expect to find any that stood out. But I found 2 families on the same day. I have a Skype call with one of them today. It’ll be my first time talking to them. My adoption counselor will be there with me, but I’m still so nervous!!! I’ll update afterwards.

 

[blueberryx]

Where do I begin with the update??

So we had the skype call with the potential adoptive family. It went so great!! I was really nervous because they're obviously complete strangers and it's just sort of an awkward situation to be in, but my adoption counselor was there with me the whole time to sort of mediate and guide it alone. She had prepared me ahead of time and help me come up with what I wanted to ask. The family and I have so much in common and similar backgrounds and stuff, so I really like that. I can actually picture my baby with this family, and I never thought I'd get to that point. I'm not making any promises to them yet or anything, but I feel so good about it that I think I'm probably going to move onto talking to them some more and eventually setting up an in person meeting.

But then the next day the baby's father and I discussed everything after we had some time to process it. He was there for the call too and he's been supportive of the adoption and up until this point still maintained that he was 100% okay with adoption and had no interest in parenting. Now, he's saying he's not sure about adoption. He thinks that I've convinced myself that this is what I should do.He feels guilty because he thinks I've talked myself into adoption mainly since he said he wasn't going to be involved if I keep it. Of course, it upset me because I'm feeling positive about adoption after a lot of doubt, and now he's making me doubt myself all over again. But when I asked him what he'd do about college, how would i finish high school, what would we do about money, living arrangements, etc. he has no idea and just said "we'll figure it out." Like, it doesn't work that way. I can't wait until the baby is here to make all of these plans!!!

 

[HLx]

Really hope everything is okay! Sounds like the two of you are undecided on what you want to do! Will you get any help and support for the baby off your parents? My friend was in college and worked part time while living with her parents when she had her little girl, it worked out for her!

How are you?

 

[blueberryx]

Really hope everything is okay! Sounds like the two of you are undecided on what you want to do! Will you get any help and support for the baby off your parents? My friend was in college and worked part time while living with her parents when she had her little girl, it worked out for her!

How are you?

Thanks. I am still leaning more toward adoption, and some days I feel more certain about it than others. Lately I've been feeling more conflicted about it, but I still don't really think I'm ready to be a parent. My parents would support me if I keep the baby. I mean I'd still live with them and they'd help me financially.

 

[HLx]

Good luck with whatever you decide hun, only you as the babys mother know what the right decision is x

 

[noon_child]

It may not be what you and your parents planned but you haven't done anything wrong. You had sex - something which is a normal and natural part of adult life - and you used protection but it failed, which is something that could happen to anyone.

 

[blueberryx]

Just a little update for anyone wondering....

We've officially decided on a family to adopt our baby. We've been talking to them for a while now, but just made it official recently. I've not met them in person yet though. We're meeting for the first time tomorrow. I'm so nervous but really excited. I feel a lot of relief now that I've made the decision to definitely place my baby for adoption and found this family.

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

I'm sad to hear that but happy you made a decision.

 

[ClairAye]

I'm glad you have come to a decision, best of luck with meeting them!

 

[HLx]

I'm happy for you coming to a decision on what's the best for you baby. And good luck with meeting them

 

[3boys]

Delighted you are happy with your decision and I hope the meeting goes well x

 

[Cath_Heather]

You are going to bless one amazing family. Im glad you are relieved and excited about your decision. You are one mature and smart girl.

 

[erher]

Just a little update for anyone wondering....

We've officially decided on a family to adopt our baby. We've been talking to them for a while now, but just made it official recently. I've not met them in person yet though. We're meeting for the first time tomorrow. I'm so nervous but really excited. I feel a lot of relief now that I've made the decision to definitely place my baby for adoption and found this family.

You've come so far! I remember when you first posted. Thank you for bringing us along on this very intimate journey. I'm beyond happy you are feeling some relief. I know you've had some struggles. By this time, you'll have met with the family. I do hope it went well. You're almost due right? It's honestly so crazy when you finally see the little human you've been carrying inside of you. If i don't talk to you before then, i wish you a safe and healthy delivery/baby. Get plenty of rest

 

[blueberryx]

So the meeting on Saturday went really well. It wasn't as awkward as I worried that it'd be. I guess it helps that we'd been talking to each other a lot beforehand so it wasn't like they were strangers. I had sort of worried we'd basically talked about everything already and didn't know what we'd really say face to face but it ended up being really casual and not all about the baby and the adoption the whole time, which was sort of nice. We talked for over 2 hours and the time flew by actually. Well, I was probably awkward but they weren't, they were open and friendly and it didn't feel like an act. I just really like their personalities and I think they will make great parents. This will be their first child. It was really weird afterward when I was thinking "these are my son's parents." It's surreal in a way, but a good feeling. They aren't just these random people or this profile online anymore. They only live a few hours from me so we plan to meet up a few more times between now and when the baby is due. I only have a little over 2 months (due August 17) and of course if he comes early it might not even be that long!

 

[HLx]

I'm glad the meeting went well! Good luck to you hun, your a very brave young lady with a long amazing head in your shoulders x

 

[Koifish]

Glad to hear everything went well and you are happy with your decision. It sounds like you have found a nice family. Good luck!

 

[Classic Girl]

I just read your thread and must say that you are one extremely mature and well-spoken/written 17 year old. While I know this is never an easy decision, you’ve done your research and weighed your options with logic and reason.

Just remember that if you do, indeed, go through with this adoption, that you are giving THE MOST precious gift you could ever give to these parents. You should commend yourself for that for the rest of your life. Not just anyone can say that.

 

[brittany12]

Good luck with everything! Not sure if the Baby is here already or not or if you’re still doing adoption, but no matter what you have this baby a chance at life and that’s an amazing thing! You’re so brave and you should be proud!

 

[Bevziibubble]

I hope everything is going well

 

[HLx]

As everyone else has said... I hope everything has worked out for you