Telling my grandma, need advice.

[thosevibes]

I’m not looking forward to telling my grandmother. My first pregnancy she almost cussed (for her that’s like almost punching someone.). She automatically started lecturing me about being 18 years old and too young and whathaveyou. Also got VERY nosey about the guy… “Who is he. How old. How well do you know him. How long have you known him. What is he doing for a living. What’s going to happen when he leaves you or doesn’t help. How will you get the money." Also comments like, “You’re not married."

It got to the point I had to tell her, “Granny, you’re stressing me out and that’s not good for the baby." She said “Well, you should have thought about that before getting pregnant!" (even though it wasn’t planned)

Not even a day after I told her I miscarried at 5 weeks. She called back some days later worried about me.

Now, I’m 21 and 7 weeks along. I just don’t want her to go off like that again. She’s honestly a VERY loving woman…… She’s just, I don’t know… THINKING about telling her is stressing me out. Idk what it’ll be like when I do tell her…


I want to tell her during my second trimester but my mom won't let me wait that long.

What do you guys think?

 

[CVR1986]

I cant really offer any advice Im afraid. Byt just wanted to say that I would have terrified to tell mine were she still with us and Im 27. But she always lectured us about 'staying pure until married'. My grandad on the other hand....despite my apprehensions was absolutely thrilled and felt at 91 it was about time he had a great grandchild.
Maybe now you are a bit older she we react more positively - a lot of older people dont class you as an adult until 21 so maybe in her eyes......

Good luck x

 

[mel28nicole]

I was avoiding my grandma about it. She's religious and EXTREMELY old fashion (even though she had her 3 kids at 18, 20 and 22) and I just didn't want to hear it from her. I'm 21 and I've been with my fiance for nearly 5 years. We live together, he has a good paying job, and I finish my degree in December. We are not little kids anymore. My mom spilled the beans to her, IN CHURCH. So when she asked me to stop by one day to "give me some laundry soap," I knew I was getting my lecture. She went on and on about us not being married yet, birth control, insurance, school, work, EVERYTHING she could possibly complain to me about. I just took it in, made some comments back, and left. I cried when I got home, because all I want is support and she couldn't give that to me. But my fiance's family is extremely supportive, and that's all I need Hope it's not as bad as mine was, but just keep in mind you'll have a beautiful baby in 9 months, and she will get over it. That's what I keep telling myself, and I think that helps.

 

[Pixxie]

When you tell her say something like 'I'm really pleased to tell you I'm expecting a baby! I know you'll be happy for me because its what I want.' If you give the news positively instead of sounding apologetic hopefully she will just be happy for you.

 

[boobee]

My parents wanted me to tell my grandparents straight away and I said no. Both me and OH waited until our 12 week scan before telling anyone other than parents and siblings. It is upto YOU. At the end of the day, like I told my own parents, it's is MY baby and it is not for anyone else to decide on baby matters except you (and partner if you have one), or for them to share the news. My mum wasn't very happy and lectured me "I did this, I did that" but that's what she did whilst pregnant with me and my brother, now it's my turn and it's my rules. Do what you feel is right, it's your body, your baby and your feelings. Don't feel pressured into doing anything!!!

 

[chulie]

I know it's hard when you feel like your being questioned...honestly though. Is it bad she wants to know things about the babies father? I mean my husband and I had been together a long time before we had kids but if we hadn't or he'd never met my family I'm sure they would have had the very same questions out of curiosity?? Maybe if you start with that and say "I've been with this guy named so and so for (however long)." And then tell her about him and then tell her your expecting a baby together. Maybe she'll be a little less "20 questions". Like someone said, if you go at it with excitement vs like your apologizing...things will go more like you plan.