The 2 under 2 discussion thread - **labour arrangements**

[Baby France]

Hubby works and I'm a SAHM. Daisy is with me 24/7, no nursery or no one takes her out for the afternoon or anything. The only times I ever leave her is for antenatal appointments or to go to SANDS meetings which by then she is already in bed.

When baby arrives it'll likely just be the 3 of us in the day, and I'm sure I'll countdown the hours for Daddy to be home. I have family live close (literally the next streets) so I'm sure if I needed anything they could help. DH and I have said that we will do things individually with them (say he takes Oliver I have Daisy vice versa) then we'll also go

We do that too...it works out really well as we get quality time with each child and then as a family!! I'm going to be lost when I go back to work...this is the second day they've been in nursery in prep for when I go back to work and I'm really missing them and feel at a loose end...the house is immaculate, washing all done, tea all prep. I've rang them about 3 times just to make sure they're ok. Me thinks I'll walk down in an hour to go take them to the park!!

I actually wonder what I did with my time before the kids?

 

[vickie83]

I'm a SAHM now and my DH works full time but has 2 days a week working from home so it's not too bad. MiL lives within walking distance but she's only looked after Evie 4-5 times for no more than 3.5 hours. She's always offering to have her but I rarely let her and TBH I can't see that changing much once this baby arrives.

 

[topazicatzbet]

im a single mum so i decieded to move back to my parents a few months ago so that i would have more help and also means when i return to work i can work less hours.

i still do all the night get ups though, although poor mum and dad dont get the sleep in they used to cos callum is up playing and making a racket most mornings.

callum goes to nursery twice a week now and will keep going when im off so i can have those days with lo.

my mum or sister will also have lo so i can still have time with just callum.

 

[mrsraggle]

What kind of help will you be getting from family or even friends?
Does your first LO go to day care/nursery/have a nanny?
How will you ensure you get some alone time with the next one?
When will you go back to work? (if you will)

Well my Mum moved to Devon when I was expecting Eloïse and since then two of my brothers have joined her. My other brother lives in Newmarket. My Dad is remarried and has three very young kids himself. And I don't particularly like my in laws. So basically no family support! I also only have one close friend who is no help.

Eloïse goes to nursery three days a week at the moment as I work part time. We're lucky because DH gets 5% of his salary to use on any benefit he likes, so we've opted for childcare vouchers which will pay for Eloïse to attend nursery one day a week whilst I'm on maternity leave. It will be good for her to have the continuity but also means I'll have a day a week to concentrate on Titch and go to a baby class.

What worries me is finding quality time to spend with just Eloïse. I suppose initially Titch will sleep so much that we'll do a lot of playing and reading then. I think maybe I'll take her swimming on a Sunday. DH isn't a big fan of the pool and it'd give him some 121 with Titch too.

I will go back to work. I haven't decided yet when I will leave. I'm thinking Christmas would be ideal, gives me four weeks of chilling, Eloïse in nursery twice a week. Which'll mean I'm due back to work 25th September ish. I'll have six weeks of annual leave to use up too, so I'll probably use 3-4 of those and return at the end of October. Eloïse and Titch will both attend nursery, which, until Eloïse turns 3 and gets her free hours won't be very wallet friendly (almost all my salary will go on nursery fees). BUT, it will be worth it in the long run.

 

[pinkclaire]

My family dont live near by, but James goes to nursery from when I was working and I am hoping to keep him in if we can carry on affording it. He goes 9-3 3 days a week, but once we're settled I will probably reduce it to 2 days. I will take this LO to baby groups on this day that I couldnt do with James in tow! PLus it keeps my son in his routine hes used to and he is a lad who really enjoys the stimulation from nursery so I really hope we can keep it up!

Regards to work, I'm hoping to go back, but realistically I think I will have to wait until James is 3 and got his nursery place to make it affordable! Will do the sums nearer the time I think!

 

[ELSMUM]

I am a SAHM and have had both dd's here constantly with me 24/7. My partner works away from mon - fri and I also live around 1hr and 20mins from any friends or family(not by choice but that is another story!!). DD1 starts nursery in sept and will go two afternoons and a full day and I think I will be putting DD2 in nusery around 2nd birthday just so I get some special time with next baby.

I found in the first few months it was easy to make time for each dd as dd2 obviously slept so much so had alot of alone time with dd1 and because you are 24 hour with dd2 you always had the evenings and the nights for special time with dd2.

 

[lauzie84]

What kind of help will you be getting from family or even friends? The same as at the moment - very little. My mum and dad live 1 min away, but both work. My mum has had Amy about twice since she's been born and never offers to take her. OH's family live 40 odd miles away and to be honest we wouldn't trust his mum with Amy.

Does your first LO go to day care/nursery/have a nanny? She doesn't - and we don't intend to change this. My OH is self employed with car sales. So when I'm working he is able to look after Amy until I get home. I work 9-2 every day. That then gives him the rest of the day to do what he needs to. This won't change when bambino is born

How will you ensure you get some alone time with the next one? This is the one thing I'm not sure of. To begin with, probably when Amy has a nap. I don't drive, but fully intend to learn once I give birth to give me a bit of freedom.

When will you go back to work? (if you will) Unfortunately we are in a position where I have to go back. I am hoping to take the full year off if we can afford it

 

[Lilly123]

Great to hear all experiences and thoughts.

We have no family here as we live in a foreign country so its just me and dh and Zoe right now

Zoe will have a nanny until i go on maternity leave. I work 4 days a week and my dh full time. I then plan on taking at least 6 months off but am also looking at becoming a SAHM.

I hope to put Zoe in a play group 3 mornings a week which will allow me some one on one time with Nunu.

This is the plan for now

 

[Lara310809]

I've never put my daughter into a nursery, although I would have liked to. I grew up in the UK, so in my mind I have a certain standard of nursery I want for LO, because of what I'm used to. I've been told that the nurseries here are of a lower standard than the UK, but there is one of equal standard; we have lots of MOD based here, and they have a nursery that is obviously of UK standard (since it is UK-run). But the waiting list is out the door, and there's no hope of getting her in.

The local run nurseries here don't seem to be subjected to any set standard of care. They don't seem to have to teach the children anything, but just make sure they don't get hurt. I've heard that they often leave LO in their buggy all day because they don't have the time to deal with all the kids in their care. It begs the question as to why they take on so many children if they can't care for them all, but I guess it's all about money. I refuse to pay someone to look after her if they're just going to leave her in her buggy. And she feeds pretty erratically (random amounts of milk at random times, depending on mood), and I can't guarantee they will demand feed her like she needs, and she's not old enough to understand that you sometimes need to eat what's given to you when it's given, or you go hungry.

Also, I don't think it's good for her to be thrown into nursery as a new baby arrives on the scene, I think she will feel turfed out. I want to therefore keep her at home along with the new baby, in the hope that they bond together and my daughter still feels a part of the family.

My MIL is very happy to take her for the day too, so I know I can rely on her to give her some much-needed 1 to 1 attention if it's needed.

I want to take at least a year off with this baby, and look for a job after that (currently a SAHM). But depending on my OH's work and payrises, we may see if I can stay off until they're in school.

 

[mrsraggle]

Those nurseries in Gibraltar sound awful! How do the schools fare?

I'm hoping Eloïse will see nursery as a normal part of her week seeing as she will have been going for 11 months by the time Titch arrives. I'll have to see how she is in the immediate after Titch is born. If she wants to stay home for the first few weeks then that will be perfectly fine.

 

[hellbaby]

I've had my baby! Jacob Anthony was born on June 2nd weighing 6lb 6oz

 

[mrsraggle]

I've had my baby! Jacob Anthony was born on June 2nd weighing 6lb 6oz

Congratulations!!!!!

 

[rachyh1990]

Congrats hellbaby hun xxxx

 

[chele]

Congratulations xx

 

[Baby France]

I've had my baby! Jacob Anthony was born on June 2nd weighing 6lb 6oz

Congratulations!! LOVE the name too (my little boy is a Jacob too )

 

[rollerchick]

Yay heya casaan we are due the same day hows things going? xxx

horrible !! lol . Evenything hurts , sickness is back and have constant exhaustion . SOOOO hard with a toddler to look after on m own too ( other then the evenings 5 days a week when craig is back from work) Hows it going for you ? Did you find out the sex or were you able to stay on teram yellow ? x

hi 6 weeks gone with no. 2 did you feel differently this time than last seeing this one is a girl. just wondering.ds is 10 months tere will be nearly 18 months between them.

 

[Lilwasp]

Hi, just found you, would love to join you.
In January I expect to have a 3 year old, a 1 1/2 year old and a newbie.

Transport - Phil and Teds Vibe folds quickly and easily and pretty small. Use it almost everyday, the second seat makes a great shopping carrier now DD is walking, tho she still uses the seat occasionally. Chair also morphs into a highchair to put at table when out and about if needed. Originally considered a sling for DS, but born at 10lb 2 this was a non starter. Car seats - that's another issue entirely.

Sleeping - Newbie will be in a crib with us for as long as poss. DD is in toddler bed in her own room, DS in a cot/bed currently in a glorified junk room. Hoping to promote DD to a cabin bed when she's 4 .....(too early???), DS gets the toddler bed, Bubs gets the cotbed. Musical beds!! All depends tho if Bubs pink or blue as there will be room sharing.
For those of you wondering about effect on older childs sleeping - they say something gives when there is a major upheaval, whether potty training, speech, feeding, etc. For us it was sleep. DD used to sleep right through from about 3 months. She forgot how to go to sleep on her own COMPLETELY for 3 months, which was hell. But perseverance and continuity saw us through and we got over it, hey we're doing it all again.

Daycare - DD goes to MIL one day a week to give me time with DS and for chores. DS really misses his sister, so he'll be likely to join her soon. (Esp when we've come out about Bubs). The 16 hours free daycare for DD should start in Dec, and I really want her to start, but, New Baby is due in Jan. This has already been raised but I worry that DD going to feel pushed out? I like the idea of getting her in there and 'established' from a few months before hand, not sure if we can afford it tho. It's either that or take her 6 months after.

Great interesting thread BTW.

 

[Cleo]

For those of you wondering about effect on older childs sleeping - they say something gives when there is a major upheaval, whether potty training, speech, feeding, etc. For us it was sleep. DD used to sleep right through from about 3 months. She forgot how to go to sleep on her own COMPLETELY for 3 months, which was hell. But perseverance and continuity saw us through and we got over it, hey we're doing it all again.

Wow didn't know that! Very interesting! Gotta say, makes me a little nervous bc Duck has never been a great sleeper...or eater...and not talking yet (just babbling)!! Wonder which it will be?!

 

[Lilwasp]

You never know, Duck might sail through, FX.

 

[hayley x]

picked up our pram that we won on ebay yesterday, went for the baby jogger city mini double and so far cant fault it. took Daisy out for a walk in it and it doesnt swerve to one side with it only being her in there and I can even push it one handed annnnd, what I'm most impressed about is - it fits in our front door small things aye x